Julie1123
03-28-2013, 02:31 PM
Hello, hope everyone has been well. It's been awhile.
I don't have to be anywhere this weekend and so I'm thinking about spending the weekend dressed. I've never spent more than a day at a time dressed and no more than a few hours in makeup (not counting nail polish). Shaved my chest, legs, arms and trimmed the bikini area today. I think I'll get up tomorrow and first thing put on makeup and see how long I leave it on. Hoping I will leave it on all day, take it off before bed, and then reapply in the morning. Wish I had a wig to complete the look but still haven't bought one yet. I think that will be my next purchase.
I still feel like I'm on the fence a bit. Trying to figure out how this fits into my life. Conscientiously, I know there is nothing wrong with it. Internally, though, I think there's still some struggle going on with how prominent a part of my life it needs to be. Until that becomes clearer though I will continue to try new things.
Some things I think I do know. I don't want to go on hormones or have any kinds of surgeries. I think I understand why some need to do go that route but I don't think I do. I don't want to be a woman, I just want to dress like one now and then.
I also think I understand what it would take for me to venture out. At first I thought it was just passing, but after reading many of the threads around here about passing, its such a convoluted idea and I realized its not exactly what I'm concerned with. No, in all honesty, I think what needs to happen for me to want to venture out is to look in the mirror and find myself attractive from head to toe when dressed. That sounds completely narcissistic and shallow and is completely out of character for me... but its the truth. Probably explains the types of pictures I post here as well, excluding parts of me that don't fit the look.
Lastly, I really appreciate all of you being here. A lot of you are confident and beautiful people and you are very inspiring. Thank you.
I don't have to be anywhere this weekend and so I'm thinking about spending the weekend dressed. I've never spent more than a day at a time dressed and no more than a few hours in makeup (not counting nail polish). Shaved my chest, legs, arms and trimmed the bikini area today. I think I'll get up tomorrow and first thing put on makeup and see how long I leave it on. Hoping I will leave it on all day, take it off before bed, and then reapply in the morning. Wish I had a wig to complete the look but still haven't bought one yet. I think that will be my next purchase.
I still feel like I'm on the fence a bit. Trying to figure out how this fits into my life. Conscientiously, I know there is nothing wrong with it. Internally, though, I think there's still some struggle going on with how prominent a part of my life it needs to be. Until that becomes clearer though I will continue to try new things.
Some things I think I do know. I don't want to go on hormones or have any kinds of surgeries. I think I understand why some need to do go that route but I don't think I do. I don't want to be a woman, I just want to dress like one now and then.
I also think I understand what it would take for me to venture out. At first I thought it was just passing, but after reading many of the threads around here about passing, its such a convoluted idea and I realized its not exactly what I'm concerned with. No, in all honesty, I think what needs to happen for me to want to venture out is to look in the mirror and find myself attractive from head to toe when dressed. That sounds completely narcissistic and shallow and is completely out of character for me... but its the truth. Probably explains the types of pictures I post here as well, excluding parts of me that don't fit the look.
Lastly, I really appreciate all of you being here. A lot of you are confident and beautiful people and you are very inspiring. Thank you.