Now I just need a membership card

[Lorileah]

Toothpaste out of the tube. Genie out of the bottle. Me out to people outside the TG community.

It is no secret here especially that I am TS. How far I will take that I don't know yet. (Let's not start that argument). I have a few friends here and in real life who have been asking when I was going to "come out" to the world....Hello world. It happened last night.

Someone I have known for a long time straight up asked "When are you going to have surgery?" A man who isn't part of the community that I know of and yes he was a little tipsy. But I always say "don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answers to." so I said "I don't know yet." Usually that directs the conversation to other things but not last night.


These people pursued the questions and no matter how I tried to deflect them they kept coming (and I used to be a goaltender...not a very good one evidently). The consensus was "you should do it and do it as soon as you feel ready." :eek: Not the usual "Are you crazy?" (yes), "why would you do that to yourself?" or "you aren't going to cut IT off are you?" (not me, I think it will be someone who has a background in that). But total support from people who really don't have any base in the TG world.

"But you want to be a girl...right?" Being a girl passed 40 years ago but a woman yes. So now it was out. Half of them still cannot call me by my female name (which is OK I can understand when you know someone for years it is hard to change) but they were backing me to move forward.

"What's holding you back?" I related my standard answers. Job, Age, money. "So you are your own obstacle?" Um...yep. "Well get out of your own way then." Now that is the best advice I have had for years (after don't chew the gum under the table...that didn't work so well).

Funny it wasn't as scary as I expected. I still have all the same friends. I can't give up singing though so I guess that will be a "hook" when I open on Broadway (worked for Carol Channing :))

[Miranda09]

Now THAT is an amazing story Sis. Just when you think you might have people figured out, they surprise you. Well, glad to hear they were supportive and not insulting. Better got that voice prepped for your Carol Channing role!!! :)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

hopefully you at least spit the gum out!

it will be interesting for you to see how you feel in the near future over this disclosure and whether any of them will follow up with you in any way..

btw
HRT can be $20-30/month if you are really interested, nobody has to know but you...

[JohnH]

Also don't forget to burn your man-card!

John

[Lorileah]

Kaitlyn, the hormone cost isn't the issue. Surgery is :) Considering non-op hormonal as the most likely level. But you never know.

[Amy A]

I've been finding a similar thing; I've been afraid of what people might think if they knew the truth for a long time, but when I finally got around to telling my friends all I got was pure support and encouragement. I'm happy for you that the people around you have accepted you for who you are :).

On a side not, AlmostALady, your's is one of many posts I've read recently saying that a job would certainly be lost due to transitioning. Aren't there any laws against that? Sacking someone on the basis of transexualism is illegal in the UK.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

no worries, the HRT point was to the previous post by almost alady...$$ is no excuse for not getting hrt..

i was very ambivalent about my srs...dont get me wrong i am thankful i did it...but i didn't really plan it until i knew i could pay for it...i guess subconsciously i refused to really be open to my ts nature until i had saved up money for "procedures"...

since you are certain about your nature, starting with hormones and no promises seems like a great start...get your ducks in a row and just be ready in case the hormones are gas on a fire...some girls i'm sure will post about that ...

your post does give me memories of telling the "Friends/colleagues" part of my life... there were most very good moments for me.. even tho almost all of them are gone from my life now..

[LeaP]

Mileage definitely does vary. I have in no way experienced hormones as gas on the fire. I just feel like ME - again, finally. There is no doubt that hormones have consequences, though. Question is, what will yours be, your circumstances be, and will they matter? No way to predict.

[groove67]

You are what you are honey. Let no one push you as we are different but always support our gender that we may have not been born in. I know what you are saying and i am having srs later this year. But no guy should talk to you that way you need to stand up as you are whom you are and let them know. By the way your pictures say you are a beautiful woman, and i am not into women like men but as one girl to another you are very beautiful.

[Marleena]

..and of course I was just kidding in my first reply that I have now removed. You have the support and acceptance of your friends and that will make things much easier moving forward on your new journey.

[ReineD]

Good for you, Lori, honestly I had no idea ... well, maybe I had some idea, but really, no idea at all! :)

I'm so glad that you live in such a supportive environment. It will make things a lot easier.

[PaulaQ]

Congrats Lorileah. I'm new here, and haven't known you long, but for what it's worth, I think you are making a good decision for yourself. This seems like it's been on your mind lately. I wish you all the best, however far, and whatever way, you choose to go.

[EnglishRose]

Good for you, Lori, honestly I had no idea ... well, maybe I had some idea, but really, no idea at all! :)

I'm so glad that you live in such a supportive environment. It will make things a lot easier.

What she said. :) You always seemed one of the more confident people here and I was inspired to actually get out there in part because of you.

[I Am Paula]

Lorileah, When I started coming out to friends and family, the first thing people seem to say is 'Are you going to get your d$%^ cut off?' One would think the first question would be about your emotional preparedness, your family, or even a 'Are you sure you're doing the right thing?' The second response I get is 'I did'nt even know you were gay'. Conditioned response.
Good luck-Celeste

[celeste26]

It is rather ironic that what people call "right to work" really means right to fire without explanation. OH, and forget about any possibility that all of the boss' prejudices are the reason because the right to work means you will never know and cannot prove.

[Nicole Erin]

So you want to be a transsexual but you don't want to give up anything?
Interesting.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

"right to work" as a opposed to what?

my "sister" in transition was in a union, and she was held down with her head outside the building the frame on the 20th floor of a high rise and given one week to leave (By 3 guys)...they were the only guys up there other than her... and she went to the steward and ended up talking to the union head quite quickly...the literally head of the union!! and he told her he was in a bind...the three guys word against hers... so he moved her to a job that had 6 weeks left, and then that was it...she was frozen out and kicked around until she gave up..

in the end, if you have mission critical skills, or create best in class value for your company, and if you are blessed with a person above you that is willing to stick their neck out for you, then you are likely to be ok... otherwise you are at worst gone, and at best permanently marginalized

I gave up a 6 figure income to transition..in the prime of my career....i guess i'm a fool.....

[Lorileah]

So you want to be a transsexual but you don't want to give up anything?
Interesting.

Somehow I just knew the curmudgeon would be you. What am I not giving up? And why should someone have give up anything? Life isn't something you need to be destitute in. You should not have to be broke to be happy and I should NOT have to cut and slash if that is what you are referring to. Do I want to be a TS? Like I want to join any other minority...yeah it is my choice to be marginalized and outcast...:Angry3:

5 years here and still the same freaking argument in this section

[CharleneT]

In the end, you'll find out that indeed fear was the only thing that held you back. The other stuff can be very important, but it will be worked out. Who knows what your path will be, but honestly, do not let "what if" be toooo... important. While you absolutely need to be self protective, once the genie is out of the bottle it is quite likely you'll find yourself on a slippery slope. That genie will not go back in that bottle. I do not mean this in a negative way at all, but be prepared for the hard part - it is coming.

[girlyj]

Lorileah, very inspiring. I worry a lot about my friends, for lots of reasons, but they are always on my mind when I think about my future.

[DaniG]

Lorileah, hugs and best of luck on your new journey!

[Sandra1746]

Don't let anyone rain (or poop) on your transition. It is yours to pursue however far or fast you choose. You are the one that has to live your life and deal with whatever family issues that might exist so whatever path to transition you decide is right for you is the one that is right for you.

Hugs and Good Luck on your journey,
Sandra1746