Are you happy with yourself?

[FelicityMay]

All of us here have a unique trait to ourselves, something that may be a secret to others, or something that we publicly reveal on a daily basis...
None of us chose to have such an unusual mindset, but I have to ask,
Are you happy that this is a part of you?
How has it impacted your life?

I can honestly say that I am proud to be a crossdresser. Most people may view it as a handicap, something to drag me down. But in reality, it has helped me to be a happier person! There will be lots of trials that come from it, but overcoming them will help me in the long run.
I look forward to my future with this, and I love to learn from all of the more experienced beautiful ladies here! What advice would you give an 18 year old when getting ready to enter the real world for myself?

[Karren H]

I'm not unhappy that this is part of me but I do wish it didn't make life so complicated.... and I'm proud..... not because of the clothes I like to ware... because of I am who I am....

[genevie]

No. I wish it were not a part of me and I had no conflicts. When I am dressing and feeling like a girl, I am wishing I could be that way completely. Yup. The whole transition nine yards. I am really sad when it comes time to switch back. But I don't just have me to worry about in life. And I'm not sure those feelings are real. I have more questions than answers.

[PaulaQ]

I was asked once if I could take a pill and forget the desire to be a woman - or look like one - and never have it again, would you take the pill or run away.

I am really regretting swallowing the red pill. Not happy. :(

[Jenniferathome]

Well Felicity, I am neither happy nor sad that I am a cross dresser. It just is. Like having brown hair. It just is. I am not ashamed, I never wish it to go away and I actually try my best to be "better" at it,whatever that means. But cross dressing is not me, it is only a small part of me.

[Denise Shelly]

I to am happy this is a part of Me. No mater what happens in my life I would never give up this part of myself.

[switcheralso]

I just look at it as part of a small part of my life. The impact has been small outside of buying a second set of clothing.

[NathalieX66]

I wish I was more accepting of myself 20 years ago. I saw pictures of me before I decided to live a life of dual gender 4 years ago, and I looked sad and lifeless.

Then I decided to do something about it. Now, I feel awesome!.....problem solved.

[Daryl]

I try to be happy everday. Otherwise I wouldn't have made it this far in life. My CD style keeps me that way.

[Michelle (Oz)]

No. I wish it were not a part of me and I had no conflicts. When I am dressing and feeling like a girl, I am wishing I could be that way completely. Yup. The whole transition nine yards. I am really sad when it comes time to switch back. But I don't just have me to worry about in life. And I'm not sure those feelings are real. I have more questions than answers.

At my wife's request I saw a psychologist late last year. She said there was nothing wrong with me but she could help my wife! So to the doctor to discuss testosterone therapy. That would be a bad idea - will only make me angry and could lead to health problems. So I am what I am and always will be. No sense in playing what if games.

Happy? Sure am but fully share Genevie's experience of not having to change back to male mode.

[Brynna M]

I wish being a crossdresser was easier for me. At the same time I like who I am. I'm not sure who I would be without it.

I wonder who I would be if I could accept/integrate my feminine inclinations more fully.

[Princess29]

I'm trying to figure out about where my girl side fits in, in my life. As Jennifer said, I feel it is only a very small part of who I am but I would still like to get everything sorted. Have recently started taking steps to try to begin to work it all out.

[tiffanynjcd24]

i am proud to rock both genders too and i am 24 years old i thought transitiioning was in my future but now i realize that crossdressing is a part of me

[Beverley Sims]

I think you are right in what you say.
There are trials and tribulations that haunt us throughout our lives but sometimes facing the demons seems harder than running from them.
We daily do conquer some of them.
I am always optimistic and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Even if it is a train coming the other way.
Jump out of the way and it soon passes.
I never let it drag me down, get a little blue on occasions but optimism and enjoying life rules!

[tall2826]

Honestly I am happy with this part of my life.
I am happier and I love how I feel when I'm dressed up. I just with buying clothes so hard/awkward.

[Wildaboutheels]

Happy? Why not? It doesn't control me. It is a simply a part of my life and it is an "advantage" in that it makes it "easier" to be w/o a SO. Not a substitute by any means.

Advice??? "None of us chose to have such an unusual mindset..."

INCORRECT. One of many Forum MYTHS. Just because numerous individuals here insist it over and over doesn't make it so. And some of these folks have gone months or years "without". Some did not start till wayyyyy past 50.

And NO, Love does not conquer all.

Any "true friend" will accept if you tell them. NOPE.

We will ALL be hit with the pink fog sooner or later. Wrong again.

We are all on a magical journey. SOME are on a magical journey.

Joe Doe public is always looking to "bust" CDers any and every chance they get. CD busting is the hobby of CDers.

There are many others.

Summary? YOU are unique like everyone else on the planet. Read all that you can or are interested in here, just don't ever think there is anything wrong with yourself, simply because you might not "fit the mold".

Most importantly, telling ANYONE is a roll of the dice. No matter how well you think you know them. You can never know how someone will handle it AND/or who else they might tell. Most folks are very bad at keeping secrets.

[Tracii G]

I am happy that I have this other side to me and that is an honest as the day is long statement.
I have known I was different as long as I can remember plus being interested in the things girls were interested in growing up.
Sure there were times I tried to put it out of my mind and concentrate on the guy stuff so I learned to manage my guy side along with the girl side.
At 17 I had a change and became a problem child always in trouble and causing my parents grief and I'm truly sorry I did that.
Drugs,alcohol, biker gang fighting, all trying to prove something to myself I guess.Pretty common thing for some CD's
Coming to grips with and accepting my femme side has really helped me get rid of the mean nasty guy that lurks inside and keep him under control.
So yes I'm very happy with who and what I am.

[suzy1]

I think being happy as a crossdresser depends on several things.
Guilt robs some of happiness. Being in a marriage or relationship where the partner is not supportive or is outright hostile to there partner dressing is another.
Even an individuals religion can cause a conflict in there lives.

For me, this part of my life is not only natural to me but something I love.
I think that’s because Suzy is a real part of me. I don’t just dress, I am Suzy inside as well.

Two lives for the price of one, how wonderful is that!:)

[FelicityMay]

I agree that it can be a very hard thing to live with! it can cause lots of problems with friends, family, and religion for some of us!
Sometimes I feel like it't not worth all of the trouble I go through, and think of all of the problems it may cause me in the future, but whenever I remember how great it feels to have this side of me, I never want to give that up!
Another great thing about cross dressing, is that it can give you something to resort to, when everyone else has left you. I even feel like my other self is my own best friend who is there for me when no one else is.
I will just try to stay strong, and hopefully find those who can support me through it...

[AllieSF]

I'm not unhappy that this is part of me but I do wish it didn't make life so complicated.... and I'm proud..... not because of the clothes I like to ware... because of I am who I am....

This says a lot about me too. I never really said that I was happy or loved myself before starting crossdressing. I say that a lot now and it is one of my standard questions I ask a lot of strangers, including tonight. The answers vary all over the place and the ensuing conversations are fantastic. That also makes me very happy.

[TeresaCD]

How's it work- yes & no?
Really why I am here, trying to accept how I am.
I come down very hard after dressing sometimes, wish (at times) it wouldn't end.
And I do relate to the comment made about keeping the b23tard in me at bay too..

[Barbara Maria]

Hi,Felicity.I'm 58 and just started seriously dressing this past year.It's made me happier than I've been in years.It's given me a whole new outlook on life.It feels great to finally let the woman that's always been in me come out and express herself.I don't see that old man in the mirror any more,I see a lovely,vibrant middle aged woman.I haven't been at it long enough to give much advice except to say that I wish I'd done it sooner.You go,girl,and be proud of who you are.Don't let anyone tell you different.Barbara

[k lynn]

I'm not unhappy that this is part of me but I do wish it didn't make life so complicated.... and I'm proud..... not because of the clothes I like to ware... because of I am who I am....

I have come to like myself over the years I tried alcohol severval years ago to make it go away it did not after some therapy and alot of soul searchin being a crossdresser is part of me

[Cheryl T]

Since I came out to my wife and have been expressing this part of me openly I am very happy with myself. I no longer feel all the guilt and shame I experienced for so many years because of what others thought, said or felt about people like myself and my sisters. I realize that this is a major aspect to who I am and I have nothing to be ashamed about and everything to proud of.

[Gwen01]

Once I realized that it was okay to dress with my wife and that she accepted me for being me, it was a proud moment! After that, it didn't matter if I was dressed or not,
just having that reinforcement lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, and changed my whole outlook on life in a very positive light!

-Gwen

[Bree Wagner]

Would life have been different without being a CD? Yes, but I'm pretty confident the major arcs of my life would have been very similar.

Would life have been easier without being a CD? Probably, but easy doesn't always equate to good.

Am I happy with who I am? Absolutely! Crossdressing is a part of me and I wouldn't have it any other way at this point because I simply wouldn't be me and I love who I am, what I do, and the wonderful family and life that I have.

-Bree

[CynthiaD]

I successfully surpressed my crossdressing for many years in an attempt to be " normal." Then one day I realized that in surpressing my cross dressing I had lost the best part of myself. I love being a crossdresser, and couldn't imagine myself as anything else.

[Lorileah]

Happy? I am ecstatic. I like ME now. I enjoy being me.

[Crissy Kay]

Good question. I would say I am happy enough with my life as it is now. And for me, being in the closet is still something that I am happy with.

[Marleena]

When I thought I was TG I was very happy. I mean I had the best of both worlds and didn't look at it as a curse.

Then some SOB told me I was actually TS (yeah I had to be told). Then panic hit, I mean who in their right mind would want to be TS? So a year later I'm actually happy to be TS even though there is so much crap that goes with it. At least I know wtf is going on now and I sure don't need to guess about it. I need to keep a sense of humor about it though, it's quite the trip.:) Besides I could go back into panic mode again because I feel frail at times about it. It's like what's coming next you know?

[Jessie0276]

It's part of me that I will never give up. It's how I am and that's all there is too it.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I agree that it can be a very hard thing to live with! it can cause lots of problems with friends, family, and religion for some of us!
Sometimes I feel like it't not worth all of the trouble I go through, and think of all of the problems it may cause me in the future, but whenever I remember how great it feels to have this side of me, I never want to give that up!
Another great thing about cross dressing, is that it can give you something to resort to, when everyone else has left you. I even feel like my other self is my own best friend who is there for me when no one else is.
I will just try to stay strong, and hopefully find those who can support me through it...
I support you and i feel the same way and i couldnt See my self being something else lol

[FelicityMay]

I'm glad most of the members here embrace it and use it to their advantage!
It always makes me sad to hear about those who hate themselves for it, and feel so guilty whenever they get the desire :(
Life can really mess you up sometimes, and there's nothing you can do about it, except look at the bright side and make the best of everything!

[tiffanynjcd24]

I'm glad most of the members here embrace it and use it to their advantage!
It always makes me sad to hear about those who hate themselves for it, and feel so guilty whenever they get the desire :(
Life can really mess you up sometimes, and there's nothing you can do about it, except look at the bright side and make the best of everything!

I agree i thought i hated being a guy and i was like maybe i should transitioning but after i went to see a therapist then i realize i dont see my self as that but only as person that can live and enjoy both sides

[Geena75]

I'm content. I would have one less concern without the urge to dress up, but I would also have one less enjoyable thing to do. Could I live without it? I suppose, but I could also live without home grown tomatoes -- I don't want to though. I decide what part of me this will occupy, and do my best to keep it there -- and appreciate it there.

[Ellanore G.G.]

When I met my H he was a very angry unhappy person.
He confused his fetish, as he was unable to find a reason to c/d.
this took years to unravel until he could admit to himself " never mind me "
that he loved to dress and feel happy.
Now for me as the wife, I can just see that things are the way they were meant to be.
And I love the soft side that he tried to surpress , and the fact that he loves this side now
gives us a whole new dimension on our life together .
Thats not to say all is easy all the time, but I get to see the other side, thats artistic, and loves life.
So we will keep working together, and every day is what we choose to make it now.
If I could go back in time, and never married him, well lets say my life would probably be boring without this side.
so to my H "i salute you ".

[JamieTG]

I wouldn't say I'm happy about it but I do accept it a lot better than when I was younger. Growing up in the 50's and 60's I developed a lot of guilt feelings because of society labels (pervert, sick, ect.) and purged many times. Once I reach middle age I stopped fighting it and realized I wasn't hurting anybody. I can embrace it more now without feeling guilty.

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm as happy as a lark, being Arlene is tremendous.

[FelicityMay]

So it looks like a lot of you are advising that I fully accept this and embrace it!
It's so easy to lose hope in myself, and think that this is going to really mess up my life, and make it so hard to find the right woman one day.
But I think I am going to just live life to the fullest and do what I love, and that should help me live a happier life.

[Veronicatally]

One of the most important aspects of accepting people in the trans life, gay life, interracial life is being non-judgmental. It's a great way to go through life. Yet, we often forget to apply this to ourselves. Think about that for a moment. Feelings of doubt, guilt, unpleasantness are most often nothing more than self-judging. Rid yourself of that and you'll feel so much better. Simply declare that there's a woman out there for you. They DO exist.

[stephyX]

right woman for everyone,im so glad for mine :) before we got together first thing i admitted to her,and were still going strong and better than i could imagine,dont give up hope.

your day will come!

but mainly enjoy who you are!

[AlexisRaeMoon]

When I met my H he was a very angry unhappy person.
He confused his fetish, as he was unable to find a reason to c/d.
this took years to unravel until he could admit to himself " never mind me "
that he loved to dress and feel happy.
Now for me as the wife, I can just see that things are the way they were meant to be.
And I love the soft side that he tried to surpress , and the fact that he loves this side now
gives us a whole new dimension on our life together .
Thats not to say all is easy all the time, but I get to see the other side, thats artistic, and loves life.
So we will keep working together, and every day is what we choose to make it now.
If I could go back in time, and never married him, well lets say my life would probably be boring without this side.
so to my H "i salute you ".

This is an amazing quote. Thank you for posting.

Regarding the thread, I'm in a funk right now about it, and its mostly of my own making. I've dug my own hole by hiding my CDing for so long from everyone, and I realize now it's not the crossdressing that I don't like, but the person that it's made me. I feel dishonest, particularly since even my wife doesn't know. I've been in this sort of limbo since I've joined this site, which on the hand helped me be ok with who I am, and made me realize I should tell my wife, but still being way too chicken to do it. Every day I think, will today be the day? And it never is. It makes me angry and sad much of the time. If I felt like there was a guarantee that my wife would react like Ella here has, it would be so much easier! I guess I'm not a good risk-taker, which is rough when you're a crossdresser trying to come out of the closet. I can't think of a much bigger risk in a relationship...

Anyway, great thread. Some good advice here...

[tiffanynjcd24]

So it looks like a lot of you are advising that I fully accept this and embrace it!
It's so easy to lose hope in myself, and think that this is going to really mess up my life, and make it so hard to find the right woman one day.
But I think I am going to just live life to the fullest and do what I love, and that should help me live a happier life.
Oh thank you i felt that too at first like i thought it would mess my life up and i wouldnt be in a relationship with a woman but im learning to be true to yourself

[PaulaQ]

So it looks like a lot of you are advising that I fully accept this and embrace it!

If I were your age, that is precisely what I'd do.


It's so easy to lose hope in myself, and think that this is going to really mess up my life, and make it so hard to find the right woman one day.

You have your whole life in front of you, and folks your age are massively more understanding than folks my age. You'll find someone. I'm not saying folks will just automatically accept you, or that it's always going to be easy - that would be a lie. But it will be better than it has been in the past.

And really, the alternative is to bury it, trash your life, and end up middle-aged and screwed up, like me. Don't do that. Do the opposite of what I did - I can't promise your life will be perfect, but I can tell you my approach isn't especially conducive to a happy life.

There are, a bunch of sad stories that folks on this forum have. A bunch. Don't add to them. Be yourself, whatever that may be, and be happy.


But I think I am going to just live life to the fullest and do what I love, and that should help me live a happier life.
That is the best thing you can do, Felicity May, and it makes me happy to hear you say it.

PS Consider the following advice also - and I apologize to anyone in SLC, because it is a beautiful city full of friendly people. At your age - you can go anywhere. So consider that.

[MysticLady]

I look forward to my future with this, and I love to learn from all of the more experienced beautiful ladies here! What advice would you give an 18 year old when getting ready to enter the real world for myself?

Felicity, I don't know if you can call it advice but take it slow and be observant on the different fashions on different women.:)

[Lynn Marie]

Am I happy? Oh yeah.
I'm happy I'm a CD.
I'm happy with my wardrobe.
I'm happily unattached.
I'm happy I'm here.
I'm happy, at my age, to be anywhere!
I'm happy I'm not 18!

[Emi]

This is an amazing quote. Thank you for posting.

Regarding the thread, I'm in a funk right now about it, and its mostly of my own making. I've dug my own hole by hiding my CDing for so long from everyone, and I realize now it's not the crossdressing that I don't like, but the person that it's made me. I feel dishonest, particularly since even my wife doesn't know. I've been in this sort of limbo since I've joined this site, which on the hand helped me be ok with who I am, and made me realize I should tell my wife, but still being way too chicken to do it. Every day I think, will today be the day? And it never is. It makes me angry and sad much of the time. If I felt like there was a guarantee that my wife would react like Ella here has, it would be so much easier! I guess I'm not a good risk-taker, which is rough when you're a crossdresser trying to come out of the closet. I can't think of a much bigger risk in a relationship...

Anyway, great thread. Some good advice here...

This is me, exactly, I was walking into work today wishing I did not have this inner conflict. Lurking here has helped tremendously and I thank you all for that.

[NicoleScott]

The deck is shuffled and we get the cards we're dealt. I accept those attributes, those that I can't change, but I'm neither ashamed nor proud. If we should not be ashamed that we crossdress, why should we be proud? We celebrate Black Pride, Gay Pride, etc., but would be called bigoted if we said "white, straight, and proud of it".

[suzanne]

I have never been happier than in the last few months, when I found a way to march myself into a plus size ladies store, pick out a dress and wear it at home. I can't explain it except to say I am now a complete human being with Suzanne taking a more active part in my life. Even when not dressed, I am happier just knowing I can slip into something more comfortable, both physically and emotionally.

[suzy1]

I have never been happier than in the last few months, when I found a way to march myself into a plus size ladies store, pick out a dress and wear it at home. I can't explain it except to say I am now a complete human being with Suzanne taking a more active part in my life. Even when not dressed, I am happier just knowing I can slip into something more comfortable, both physically and emotionally.

For some reason I think this is one of the nicest posts I have read for a long time.

Well done Suzanne!:)

[Jenni Yumiko]

I'm unhappy that it causes complications in my life.
I'm happy with who I am and what I am. I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam