How do you feel about being considered a "sissy" by both men and women?

[jamiemarion]

I for one do often feel like a "sissy" when I dress, and try to think, feel, and act in a feminine way. I feel proud to be a "sissy" because to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman and unlike a stereotyped male as you can be. How do you feel about it?

[Caroline-Grant]

It's sort of a derogatory term but in the bedroom it takes on a different meaning. Just like the word mistress can be taken as derogatory. Personally it depends on the person. I like to be the one who does what he (she?) is told in the bedroom and try to take care of my partner/partners needs first. If they'd like to use a name like sissy I don't think that I'd be overly opposed to it.

[ReineD]

I'm a GG and I certainly don't consider my SO and other members here sissies ... unless of course they do this for fetish and they want to be considered sissies.

Just to get our labels on the same page, this is how I envision a sissy crossdresser:
http://www.ldfashions.com

My SO, on the other hand, dresses to blend in with regular GGs when we go out: blue jeans when casual, or regular skirts or dresses. I think of her as a person who engages in cross-gender expression. She identifies as dualgender.

Nothing sissy about it. :)

[AmyGaleRT]

Reine's right. A "sissy" is a particular subgenre of crossdresser which I do not fall into. When I'm en femme, I'm being a strong, independant woman, not a sissy. Therefore, anyone calling me one is just making a meaningless noise with their mouth, as Mr. Heinlein said.

- Amy

[Caroline-Grant]

That dress is pretty but it's nothing that I'd wear. I understand that blending in should be a bigger concern but I rather like wearing a nice dress despite what's appropriate socially.

[LSL_Dee]

Reine's right. A "sissy" is a particular subgenre of crossdresser which I do not fall into. When I'm en femme, I'm being a strong, independant woman, not a sissy. Therefore, anyone calling me one is just making a meaningless noise with their mouth, as Mr. Heinlein said.

- Amy

I am with Amy. I am an independant woman who gains confidence and stregth every time i venture out into the world as my femme self.

I think too many people paint all CDs with the sissy subculture brush, which is unfortunate.

[Ashlyn Brooke]

From all I've read and been informed, a "Sissy" is one who typically puts on the little pink tu tu (or similar) and submits to his wife and her (edited) lover because he is viewed too inadequate to satisfy her sexually. He has to obtain his gratification from watching her in chastity. Therefore, I don't believe myself to be a sissy. I dress as a classy mature woman would and enjoy the look and feel of the clothes and makeup she wears. I wear womens jeans and sandals and a t-shirt when out during the day and a nice skirt, blouse or dress in the evening and I'm not walking around feeling like some kind of sissy.

[Caroline-Grant]

Ashlyn I think you're confusing a sissy for a crossdressing cuckold.

[TeresaCD]

When my SO calls me a sissy, I take it as a compliment.
Not when I was a teenager though, I must say!

[Sandra]

because to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman

I don't get this, to me you are saying that you see women as sissys, well to set the records straight I'm a GG and I'm there is nothing sissy about me at all.

[Cheryl T]

I too agree with ReineD. Some of us dress in the fashions that would be considered sissy, but I too blend with the general population and never feel that I am a sissy. I'm just someone expressing my femininity.

[stephNE]

When I was young, "sissy" was the worst word we knew. You didn't want to be called that, so I really still don't like the term. When I dress I feel like I am moving closer to being a woman, not a sissy. But ReineD's post of the sissy dress is really cute.

[rachael.davis]

I have one friend (GG) who has moved into the role of big sister on so many different levels it's astounding. I told her (when I was looking at start transition of eat a .303) that I couldn't quite get my mind around this whole thing, I'm not a drag queen, not a sissy, not a flamboyant hairdresser, not interested in RuPauls shows, but I love skirts, heels, makeup, and want to live in them......
She smiled and said dearheart - I have trained horses, worked on a tall ships top rigging, am a handgun instructor, like woodwork, and look absolutely tremendous in a corset, stockings, gloves, and heels, and I'm not a drag queen either - you're a woman dummy

There are sometimes moments of Zen enlightenment.

If you need to self identify as a sissy, knock your frilly socks, and mary janes off, but that's your definition for you in your life, enjoy the hell out of it, but don't assume anyone else is standing where your do.

[Anneliese]

I am much closer to "sissy" than I am to "macho" and I'm proud of that fact! Practically everything that's wrong in the world is due to men trying to "out-macho" each other.

[sometimes_miss]

It kind of hurts. I'm not 'out', so I hear much more, like being a fly on the wall. Many women make fun of gay guys, as well as guys who crossdress, when what they don't realize is that they're degrading themselves by lowering the importance of their very own behavior. I've tried pointing this out to them, but they simply don't get it. It's the same old double standard this time, but in their favor, so I guess that makes them feel it's perfectly o.k. to hold a man to a different standard just because some men held women to a different standard in the past. THey haven't learned that two wrongs don't make a right......So as much as I wouldn't want to have to have one of those women for a mate, it's still hurts a little, and it's difficult to know that they want nothing to do with me, ever.

edit: I got labeled a sissy for a different reason when I was a kid. Beaten often by an older sister and my older neighbor whenever I tried to defend myself against their tyranny, I learned before I went to school that if you fight back, you get beaten a whole lot more than their initial punch; and all that talk of 'if you stick up for yourself, the bully will respect that and stop; nope, they just enjoy beating you more. So I stopped fighting back. When I started school, the other kids quickly picked up on it, and bingo, I was labeled a sissy, a label that stuck with me through my entire time in public school. Didn't help that I was a late bloomer, and didn't grow 'big' until after I graduated. But boy, was it a nightmare going through school being picked on all the time, and being afraid to stick up for myself because I thought I'd lose any fight I got into.
Things changed, but too little, too late.

[Daryl]

I was called that a lot when I was a boy. I was smaller then the others and weaker, and if picked on I would run away or cry. So to the other boys I did not fit into their standard and I was a sissy. I didn't like it much. A girl who is like that is just a girl and is ok, a boy like that was a sissy.

I kind of fell into that catagory when I was fairly young. I was a little sickly and skinny and called a sissy quite often. When we moved to a different
neighborhood that kind of went away as I made new friends same age as me. To me now I don't like the term and in my cross dressing I like the older
womens clothing which i try to buy.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Having been a youth 50+ years ago, sissy had a different connotation to Reine's picture. A sissy was any male who wasn't sports crazy, poked fun at the weaker kids and teased the girls.

So (to misquote) I guess that 'if the wig fits, wear it'. Does take a special brave to go out dressed though.

[Taylor186]

... because to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman ... as you can be.

Sorry, but this is totally and completely incorrect as most of us understand these terms. Women (GGs) have nothing in common with a sissy CD, nothing. Take your guidance from Sandra and Reine above.

[Jodi M]

Agree with Michelle. It does take a little bit of moxy for a man to present as a female in public. It's not a sissy thing.

[Jenni Yumiko]

1. As stated before, "sissy" is a subset of crossdressers, that I am not.
2. We used to call other kids that in aikido, hockey and football when they couldn't take a hit. I am not.
3. If someone called me that 20 years ago, I would have probably have broken at least a couple of their bones or die trying.
4. If someone were to call me that now, I would have to walk away to avoid an altercation, I'm too old to go to jail, and with 3 kids around I don't want them behaving or doing the things as I did when I was young. (plus my wife would kill me)

[Ressie]

I'm not a sissy but would be willing to give it a try with the right dominatrix. :D Sissies are submissive which is a sexual fantasy or turn on to some. I'm sure there are various reasons why someone would identify as a sissy. Some may just like the attire, idk.

[Emjay]

I think I'm with most of the others here as I do NOT consider myself to be a *shudder* sissy.... For me personally, I kind of see the term as insulting. Ok I see it as really insulting...

If it's someone's thing then I am totally cool with that being their thing. No two of us are completely alike and we are a very diverse group. Personally I like to blend in, present as the gender I wish to be and be accepted as such.

What I dislike is that so many times in general society and in pop culture we are all lumped into this category and it seems to me that it creates a lot of misconceptions about us as a community.

[Julogden]

As defined in the community, a sissy is usually a sexualized, fetishistic, exaggerated caricature of femininity, not something I want to be associated with, and quite different from your concept of sissy. Among the general population, it's always been a derogatory term applied to us. Either way, it's not a term I'm comfortable with.

Carol

[Angie G]

Names never botherd my so I'm a sissy and glad to be.:hugs:
Angie

[Jenniferathome]

I do not consider myself a "sissy", a rather derogatory term nor does my wife consider me a sissy. In guy mode, I am every bit as manly as John Wayne ever was. In girl mode, I'm a basic gal and not a "sissy."

[docrobbysherry]

Hey! U can call me a "sissy" if u like. I would be complimented. But, you're clueless if u think most GGs r!

I don't get this, to me you are saying that you see women as sissys, well to set the records straight I'm a GG and I'm there is nothing sissy about me at all.
Just what I was going to say, Sandra. I've dated and married quite a few GGs going back to my high school days. And, I wouldn't call any one of them a "sissy".

I had to pull my ex away from her sister during a physical confrontation. She WAS 5" shorter and 40 pounds liter than her sis back then!

My tiny GG Russian friend nearly punched out an insulting drunk on the subway.

Even my exceedingly shy college GF stood up to anyone that said anything negative about her or us.

Most women r a lot tougher than most of the vanilla guys I know!

[Shelly Preston]

Dictionary definition

sis·sy
[sis-ee] Show IPA noun, plural sis·sies, adjective
noun
1. an effeminate boy or man.
2. a timid or cowardly person.
3. a little girl.
adjective
4. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a sissy.



to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman and unlike a stereotyped male as you can be. How do you feel about it?

Well I dont see myself as a sissy in any way at all. Even in times gone past boys were called sissy in part as a form of bullying. This means it is not just related to women.


I don't get this, to me you are saying that you see women as sissys, well to set the records straight I'm a GG and I'm there is nothing sissy about me at all.

What Sandra says makes a good point.

How many women do you know that could be called sissy's ????

I can not think of ONE single woman who fits that description


Sissy in my opinion is reserved for those who want to live out a particular type of fantasy or lifestyle be it for a few hours or longer.

[CynthiaD]

When I was growing up in the 50's a sissy was a weakling who wouldn't even try to defend himself. That was never me. I had the good fortune to have a lot of strong women in my life back then, and they weren't sissies either.

When I see my feminine self, I see someone who is caring and considerate of others, not someone who is weak. But perhaps the word has a different meaning now.

[FoxxxyBri]

When I think sissy I think skinny guy prancing around being flamboyantly/stereotypically gay.

However I dont take offense to it because many people dont know that its an offensive word to many. Just like most dont know "tranny" is an offensive word to some transexuals. Or that saying "****" instead of "clit" is off-putting to many girls who call themselves sissies (especially the submissive gurls).

Imnot offended by it so long as it's meant in a sexual manner :) I just take it as being called "dainty" and "girly" which is good for me :)

[Crissy Kay]

I do consider myself mostly as a sissy or more correctly, fetish dresser. As for the OP's question, I do not think most cds think of themselves as sissies, as most of the prior posters have commented.

[Stephanie47]

My wife is the only person who knows I cross dress, and, she has never even intimated I am a 'sissy.' She and I do not know why I developed into a cross dresser. But, she knows I am very masculine, but not macho, when in male mode. You state you often feel like a 'sissy' when you are en femme. I suspect you have not evolved your thinking. When I was young and confused I thought of myself worse than a 'sissy.' Back in the 1950's and 1960's a cross dresser would have automatically been termed a 'faggot.' (Moderator: The term is used in a historical context-OK?)

I am totally comfortable with myself. I consider myself as having two inner inhabitants, primarily male. Sometimes Stephanie decides to come out and push her male counterpart aside. There is nothing 'sissy' about Stephanie because she is a woman. There is nothing 'sissy' about her male counterpart because he is 100% male. To people who don't understand I guess that may be confusing.

I do think the term 'sissy,' whether used on the playground as a child or as an adult, is derogatory to women. It's used to convey the thought a female is less than a man.

[LelaK]

Reine said: Just to get our labels on the same page, this is how I envision a sissy crossdresser:
http://www.ldfashions.com
Well, that picture is very close to something I'd love to wear. I'd probably want to make some minor modifications. I love petticoats and very feminine or delicate things. But I don't think of myself as a sissy, because I don't "act feminine". Nor do I act masculine. I have a few male cousins who do act rather feminine. One's gay, but the other two are not and I doubt if they crossdress. I wouldn't care if anyone thought of me as a sissy. I just don't think of myself that way. Maybe it's because my Mom and sisters never acted very feminine, but more neutral.

[rachelwoods1972]

I like the idea of being considered a sissy but then again i enjoy also being submissive and very girly in female mode. I don't consider standard crossdressers or TVs as sissy myself, unless they are of similar character to me. x

[Melissa Rose]

I for one do often feel like a "sissy" when I dress, and try to think, feel, and act in a feminine way. I feel proud to be a "sissy" because to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman and unlike a stereotyped male as you can be. How do you feel about it?

Sissy and feminine are not synonymous when referring to teenage and adult women whether it is behavior, feeling or appearance. As previous mentioned, sissy describes a subgenre of cross dressing, role playing or a specific look, or used as a derogatory term against males. jamie, while being sissy makes you feel feminine (and there is nothing wrong with that), based on the replies so far, most do not equate or connect the two and neither do I. I doubt when anyone sees or encounters me, the term sissy comes to mind. Other words may come to mind, but not sissy. I have never met a female above the age of 10 I would ever describe as being sissy while a vast majority of them are feminine without question.

[Beverley Sims]

Sissy is not really something I pander to.
I have dressed in frilly dresses for a pantomime but that is all.

[LilSissyStevie]

In the Wizard Of Oz (movie) the lion sings to Dorothy, "It's sad, believe me Missy, when you're born to be a sissy." I latched on to that when I was a kid because I knew he was singing about people like me. I thought it was sad, too. I didn't like myself because I was a boy but I wasn't very masculine. I did eventually learn how to act masculine. It's second nature to me now. But, I'm like the Wizard in that my masculinity is all smoke and mirrors. I'm a fraud.

I don't think that being a sissy is like being a woman. Nowadays even women are ostracized for being too "feminine." It's much more fun to be a sissy. Then you can be as effeminate as you want to be and no one can say you're doing it wrong. I think a lot of sissies try to emulate women because they just can't admit to being a guy with a little sugar in his tank. I've been there so I know it's a possibility. I always identified somewhat with girls but that's not the same as thinking I am one.

Concerning it being a "fetish": It wasn't sexual when I was 5 and it was when I was 13. So a sissy "fetish" is what you get when you give a sissy sex hormones. And since anything that triggers sexual arousal is a "fetish", including "normal" stuff, I don't know what the point of bringing that up is except to privilege ones own fetishes over others.

[tiffanynjcd24]

i wouldnt care what anyone would call me as long as i live life

[Jamie001]

I for one do often feel like a "sissy" when I dress, and try to think, feel, and act in a feminine way. I feel proud to be a "sissy" because to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman and unlike a stereotyped male as you can be. How do you feel about it?

I feel exactly the same and was always called a sissy throughout my school years because I related well with the girls and liked to play girls games. To me a sissy is a male that loves all things feminine and is not afraid to express femininity. It is the opposite of a Tomboy. In my opinion it has nothing to do with fetishism as mentioned in this thread. I am very proud to be a sissy.

[jamiemarion]

Well, GG's and CD's, I started this thread to be deliberately provocative, and most of you have responded accordingly. "Sissy" is a very stigmatizing word in our society. It obviously doesn't apply to women - certainly women can't be "sissies". I have a background studying and teaching literature (though this hasn't formed most of my career), so I try to be careful about etymology. "Sissy" is an insult hurled by certain very prevalent and dominating elements in society at men who don't fit the stereotype of masculine, heterosexual men either because they're gay, actually "effeminate" by nature or inclination, or simply considered for any reason not "macho" enough.

I'm actually quite masculine, and, in my crossdressing life, wish I weren't this way, because I really do wish I could actually act more femininely (not "effeminately" - "femininely",), and instinctively think and feel in a more intuitively feminine way as well. I'm also unalterably heterosexual. My first wife accepted my crossdressing, made clothes for me on her sewing machine, and encouraged me to dress more because she said it made me more "peaceful", which it certainly did. I often wouldn't do so because I was always afraid either of my sons would discover me, and I didn't want to take the risk of traumatizing them.

My present wife doesn't know I'm a crossdresser and couldn't accept it. She's from the Philippines and the men who dress like women there - called "Bacla" - are all gay, or are felt to be. Because I want to preserve this marriage I'm careful not to allow my wife to discover my feminine desires, including my love of crossdressing; she simply wouldn't understand them and would be deeply, irreversibly shocked if she found out. I dream about relating to a GG who would accept me as a feminine/masculine partner, but that just isn't in the cards this time around. So I fantasize about it instead. I just discovered this website and these forums, and, so long as my wife doesn't discover it when I'm on them, they are truly a godsend. I'm very much in need of interacting with other CD's and understanding GG's, even if it is only in "virtual reality".

So thanks for responding to my question about being a "sissy". I still want to believe this word can have non-pejorative connotations, and not merely be used as a term of insult and abuse. When I still manage occasionally to dress femininely I sometimes do feel somewhat like a "sissy" in the sense that I described in the thread - a man who consciously prefers femininity over masculinity, and who is willing to have others think what they will: if you're a certain kind of man, dressing in women's clothes, and trying one's best to think, feel, and - yes - even act, in a man's imaginative concept of a womanly way - is simply deeply pleasurable, not necessarily sexually or fetishistically so, just good for your spirit and your whole being.

So if in an ideal way being a "sissy" is really just a masculine equivalent of a girl's choosing to be a "tomboy", then I am proud to be a sissy. Anyway that's what I really meant and thanks all of you for responding so honestly. I will be suggesting ideas and responding to your ideas from my own heart and experience a lot in the future; this website is "addicting" in the best sense.

[DaniG]

I for one do often feel like a "sissy" when I dress, and try to think, feel, and act in a feminine way. I feel proud to be a "sissy" because to be a "sissy" means you want to be as much like a woman and unlike a stereotyped male as you can be. How do you feel about it?

I agree with everything except the term "sissy". I agree with the others here that the term doesn't really apply as you're using it. I feel like a woman when en femme.


I have one friend (GG) who has moved into the role of big sister on so many different levels it's astounding... - I have trained horses, worked on a tall ships top rigging, am a handgun instructor, like woodwork, and look absolutely tremendous in a corset, stockings, gloves, and heels, and I'm not a drag queen either - you're a woman dummy

Rachel, can you please clone your friend for me?

[Tracii G]

The last thing I am is a sissy.
Girly man maybe but not a sissy.

[Amanda M]

You can call me anything you like, as long as you don't call me late for dinner|.

[tall2826]

I also like to be a sissy and act like one too, I think wearing cute clothes is and acting like a girl qualifies as sissy in my opinion.

[Kate Simmons]

As long as they pay me, I could care less. I'm thinking if we can't stand the "heat", maybe we need to get out of the "kitchen". :)

[rachael.davis]

I agree with everything except the term "sissy". I agree with the others here that the term doesn't really apply as you're using it. I feel like a woman when en femme.



Rachel, can you please clone your friend for me?

I think I got the only one issued on the planet. It's funny I was her instructor in yari (spear), and naginata (slashing spear) we stayed close well after she moved west. At one point she asked permission to tell her husband I was trans something or another, I said ok, she came back to me a while later and said Funny, I told **** about some of the decisions you've made lately, he was dead quiet for about a minute, and all at once said "Oh, OK, that really makes sense"

[Ressie]

Sissy stems from the word "sister". When a male child had female characteristics he was referred as a sissy or (sister). I think I was a bit sissified as a child and had to learn to be tougher as I became a teen.

[Rogina B]

I think that the majority of the world has moved past using descriptions from grade school.Being a"sissy" is a fetish for some CD's.Just like being an AB[adult baby] is for some kinksters. There are effeminate male gays,just as there are masculine ones[bears]. I don't think that the general public views the T world that way as they expect one trying to go about as a woman,to act like a woman. Yesterday,on my way home from UU church,I had to pick up a welding blanket at "the Chinese tool store"[Harbor Freight lol] I had a nice dress on and was in a store packed with "toolmen".Some didn't look,some oogled me,and two told me how nice I looked,and one told me that I was the "hotest" girl he had ever seen in this store..lol BUT NO ONE mentioned or alluded to me being a sissy because I was a guy in a dress..

[jennigrace]

I don't feel like a sissy. In girl mode I just feel relaxed and where I should be. In guy mode I know I'm more sensitive than a lot of guys but I also feel pretty masculine. I played football, basketball and baseball in HS and basketball in college, a little pro baseball too.

[Debra Russell]

With what ever qualities the term "sissy" might equait it is usually defined as "timid or cowardly" neither of which I am - just the opposit - go figure I'am a man wearing womens clothes in public; now that take takes a lot of courage and anything but timid..................................Debra

[golfgurl]

For me the term sissy dosent bother me when I am in girl mode. But if I am in male mode and called a sissy or a bitch, it really sets me off. I think because I am in the closet I dont want my secret to be found out.

[EllieOPKS]

Wow! Seems like the word "sissy" has triggered considerable testosterone in the thread. LOL! For the record my vote parallels Jamie001 and Jamiemarion.

[darla_g]

I've always seen sissy as derogatory too. I like dressing but suppressing every aspect of my maleness is ridiculous. For that matter i've always loved women who have had an affinity for sports, the outdoors yet can turn on their girliness. Being a total priss is something i don't want in a SO or in myself.

[famousunknown]

Wow! Seems like the word "sissy" has triggered considerable testosterone in the thread.

Very good point. It doesn't matter what you think, you'll still be considered a sissy by almost anyone who disapproves of cd-ing.
Get used to it.

[NicoleScott]

Taking offense seems to be a pretty common hobby nowadays, even taking offense on behalf of others even if those others aren't offended (taking offense by proxy?). But taking offense can be understood if someone calls you something you're not. There are such people as sissies, and it would be appropriate to call them sissies. I have sissy dressing sessions, and wouldn't mind if I were called a sissy in such cases. But all crossdressers aren't sissies, and shouldn't be so called. And not everyone from Mississippi is a redneck, but some are and refer to themselves (er...ourselves) as rednecks. It's not derogatory to call a Cajun a coonass, or so I've been told by some coonasses.

[Asche]

I'm aware of more than one meaning for "sissy."

In mainstream culture, "sissy" is an insult used against boys and men who aren't into being rough and "tough." It's a form of gender policing which gets its power from the misogynistic idea that there is something inherently shameful about being in any way like a girl or woman.

There's also a fashion style called "sissy," which refers to the very decorated and dressy style with lots of lace, ruffles, bows, petticoats, etc., that people like to dress little girls in to make them look decorative and cute; that is what the LD Fashions site is about.

Finally, there's what we might call "sissy fetish." It's about men trying to look like men dressed up as little girls, often babyish ones, often pretending that they have been forced to. Most of the time, it seems to be about humiliation; the thrill comes from the misogynistic idea that there is something shameful about being like a girl and from the idea that being a baby or young child is shameful. BTW, this shouldn't be confused with the "adult little girl" culture, in which adult men and women try to experience the pleasures they imagine little girls enjoy.

I haven't been called a sissy since I was a boy, but if someone did call me a sissy now, it would almost certainly be intended as an insult, and as such, I wouldn't get mad, I would simply feel contempt for them, in the same way that I feel contempt for people who call black people "n*****s". Gendered and racist insults say more about the people who say them than the people they're said about.

On the other hand, I like sissy fashions and don't feel any shame or embarrassment about it. I'd love to have a dress or two like what LD Fashions advertises, although I don't know where I could wear it. I did make a skirt that is a little like that style, and I do wear it to Contra dances.

[michellebesweet]

I AM NOT A SISSY, I consider myself a woman, all woman. Mind, Body, and Soul. I am no "Sissy". That is an insult to me and many others on here. Do "Sissy Boys" exist, yes they do. Those are men who dont want to be a woman 24/7, and want to be degraded. I beleive that is a small percentage of men. No Sissy here.

[Michelle K]

If any of my friends or family (other than my Biological Father) consider me a SISSY they have never voiced it to me or anyone else to my knowledge. I'm a man who likes to wear womans clothe's and that is the end of it.

Michelle K

[NathalieX66]

I think the word "sissy" is sexist, and meant to be derogatory and perjorative. I don't like it.
...that's coming from someone who has a fetish for the little girl/Sweet Lolita look.

When I'm dressed and out & about as female, I want to be perceived as female. There is nothing weak about that.