A different "why?" question

[NikiMichelle]

As a CD we work the "why do I CD?" question a lot. We also work the question from others who know about us.

The "why" question also examines why do some people CD and most don't . It also covers the range of degrees we CD or are transgendered.

It came to me yesterday that I have never seen a "why" question regarding our partners/wives/SO's.

So here is my "why" question: why do some SO's totally embrace who/what we we are and others totally reject who/what we are...and all combinations in between?

I would love here your thoughts?

[Sophie Yang]

The book Head Over Heels - Wives Who Stay with Cross-Dressers and Transsexuals*by Virginia Erhardt is a quick read.

In total there are 30 stories from wives of cross dressers and transsexuals. *The stories are very easy to read and explores the complete spectrum of issues and emotions of the wives. * At the end each chapter, Dr Erhardt provides her professional interpretation of events described in the chapter. *Each chapter is short, between 5-10 pages, including Dr. Erhardt's interpretation. *

This book is not only a good read for the wives, but also for their husbands.

[Julogden]

Not a question that can ever really be answered, IMO, other than to say that just as our reasons for dressing are all different to one degree or other, so are the levels of and reasons for acceptance by SO's too.

Carol

[docrobbysherry]

I've read a number of posts where "experts" predict the number of CDing men to be somewhere in the 3% to 6% of the population.

I wonder if a similar percentage applies to the SO's of CD's that actually embrace their hubbies dressing?

[NikiMichelle]

Sophie, thanks for the book recommendation. I'll have to get it.

[Beverley Sims]

I think a lot has to do with the CDer's presentation as a woman.
If he presents attractively I think that is half the battle.

[TeresaCD]

I guess everyone's different too, just as we all are in many ways.
I would wonder if a wife found out down the track, how much harder it would be for them to accept.
Having married (potentially) a 'manly' man, discovering his/her preference to emulate/live as a woman: would be challenging to accept perhaps.
Why do some people forgive all sorts of 'transgressions' (not that this is necessarily - not saying that), and others can't??

[Rogina B]

I think a lot has to do with the CDer's presentation as a woman.
If he presents attractively I think that is half the battle.

I'll go along with this one.All the out and about girls that I know have acceptance at home,so they don't have to change in a phone booth! And,[coming from a Fetlife member]...Unless the SO is a kinkster of sorts herself,she isn't going to accept fetish dressing as "cool".It takes work to gain acceptance,it doesn't come for free.. And Teresa talked about "exlovers" and their acceptance...From MY experience,most are not thrilled to learn that the person they thought was thinking "man",was really thinking"woman"..Easier for an ex to just paint us with the "big gay brush" and call it "past". It seems though if they are bisexual themselves,then they can accept our variation of living life.

[Tina B.]

I think it has more to do with the childhood teachings of the wife. If she is open to new ideas, and a free spirit she might be more inclined to accept a different life style than one raised in a conservative home with a strict interpretation of their personal moral code, such as religious beliefs. Or maybe some women just have a higher tolerance of the ick factor. Just as we are all different, so are women, I'm sure there are just as many reasons to accept a CD husband, as reject him, but we will never know for sure, because so many of us don't talk about it, and neither do our wives.

[Kate Simmons]

In many cases it has quite a bit to do with their self esteem I think. Many tend to de-value themselves if they don't understand.:)

[carriecatgirl]

I think it stems from a lot of things such as societies views ; personal background; our beliefs of masculine n feminity.
Our own comfort levels and weather or not there are other factors kids ;family ; couple time and even to much time in fem.
Put all this together in a life and its hard to be accepting at times or u can be like some and have a different view . A open minded view based on your own history n life experiences. I fall in the middle I'm accepting but also have my down time where I need my man not his fem side. I also agree that there are times I want his fem side out to play. Girl time rocks..

From a wives perspective