What are the fundamentals of a social interaction of a CD'er?

[Sophie Yang]

Reine's comments under the "So you want to Pass as a Women!" has generated a lot of comments. Hidden away in one of her posts is this comment "I'm just trying to get down to basics." which prompted this post.

Lets start by breaking social interactions into three types
1. CD just out and about without any intention of interacting with the public.
2. CD out entering a 1 - 1 interaction with another individual person out in public.
3. CD group out and about with the public.

Provide some examples and maybe we can come up with a model of what is actually going on.

Interested in your thoughts!

[LelaK]

You're not clear to me. You could change the thread title to something like: "How do you want to interact socially as a CD?" Is that what you're asking here?

[AllieSF]

For me at this stage of my life, being out enjoying doing the same things en femme that I enjoy as a man, meeting new people and interacting with them is my primary focus and joy. I prefer the small group of CD's/TG's, 2-4, because it helps to facilitate personal conversations with those who are peripheral to our group, i.e. strangers. Too many, then it is sometimes hard to get those strangers to join in a conversation. I do not pass, but do blend well, so once into a conversation it is easy for me and whomever I am talking with to forget about who we are on the gender scale and get involved with the topic at hand. I have found that interactions with others is so much easier that way and so much fun.

I have been out with a larger group of CD's before, which is also enjoyable for that special occasion or event. However, I really prefer the smaller group approach. Last night I was out with Rachael from this site, with no plan except to have some wine/drinks, eat some food and have fun. Since there was only two of us, it was very easy to start up conversations with the bartenders, waiters/waitresses and other customers at the tables or chairs next to us. If there were 5+ of us, I think that it would be maybe just too much of "us" in the smaller fun places that we normally always frequent, and thus inhibit our ability to meet others. In a way we would be that spectacle to others versus that interesting person(s) with whom they had to good fortune to meet and converse.

[Sophie Yang]

You're not clear to me. You could change the thread title to something like: "How do you want to interact socially as a CD?" Is that what you're asking here?

If there are any sociologists or anthropologists in the group maybe they can help define a social interaction model that occurs between different people.

Maybe it is easier to start with an example and a fourth social interaction type, CD interacting with another CD in public. Recently Sheila11 created a post, “We passed in the mall today.”

From her opening post, I have numbered her sentences just for frame of refernce. After each sentence, I have added a comment about what is going in the social interaction. Others wll have different interpretaions. These are the fundamentals of the social interaction that the post is addressing.

1. Saw you in Sears today. - This is initial contact on Sheila's part.
2. We smiled at each other. - High level acknowledgment of each other .
3. I did not strike up a conversation because I was unsure of how unsure you were. – Sheila not sure seems to a take a “closed” position in public and does not pursue the social interaction,
4-7. You looked great in your skirt and boots. I was just in jeans and a blouse because I felt like blending in a little more today. Tuesday is my day for getting out.
8. PM me please. – Sheila in a non-public environment takes a more “open” position in reaching out for another social interaction.

Below are Susan's response.

1,2. I think it was me you saw if it was the Sears at Lloyd Center in Portland. I saw you too just wasn’t 100% sure you were TG. – Initial contact and recognition.
3. By the time I decided to come over to you, you had left. -- Susan takes a more “Open” position and wants to take the next step in the social interaction.

This social interaction probably occurred in less than 15 seconds. I used the terms Open and Closed without any implied good or bad connotation.

Is this interaction really any different than two men in uniform seeing each other in the mall.

[Sophie Yang]

For me at this stage of my life, being out enjoying doing the same things en femme that I enjoy as a man, meeting new people and interacting with them is my primary focus and joy. I prefer the small group of CD's/TG's, 2-4, because it helps to facilitate personal conversations with those who are peripheral to our group, i.e. strangers. Too many, then it is sometimes hard to get those strangers to join in a conversation. I do not pass, but do blend well, so once into a conversation it is easy for me and whomever I am talking with to forget about who we are on the gender scale and get involved with the topic at hand. I have found that interactions with others is so much easier that way and so much fun.

I have been out with a larger group of CD's before, which is also enjoyable for that special occasion or event. However, I really prefer the smaller group approach. Last night I was out with Rachael from this site, with no plan except to have some wine/drinks, eat some food and have fun. Since there was only two of us, it was very easy to start up conversations with the bartenders, waiters/waitresses and other customers at the tables or chairs next to us. If there were 5+ of us, I think that it would be maybe just too much of "us" in the smaller fun places that we normally always frequent, and thus inhibit our ability to meet others. In a way we would be that spectacle to others versus that interesting person(s) with whom they had to good fortune to meet and converse.


Allie,

I think that after modeling a few CD social interactions, that there will be some differences than non-CD social interactions. But for the most part, they are pretty much the same.

[NathalieX66]

Hi Sophie,
My interactions with the public have been a mixture of confusion to complete acceptance and encouragement to complete cluelessness to the fact that I am not really female. As for the third point, hurray! I did it! It has happpened on quite a few occasions, passing as female that is.
Never had anything bad happened to me, or anyone say mean things.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Your original post is missing one type, i.e. CD out in public and engaging with more than one person. Not sure the purpose of your thread but score me as single CD engaging with one or more people.

[TeresaCD]

I suspect it has a lot to do with context.
I dream of a quiet dinner with my SO (#2)
I wonder about doing #1, and what it might feel like/ what would happen
Even #3 has me wondering - spending time with like-minded people, always appealing?

[Kate Simmons]

I honestly don't know who the "public" is. I just interact with who I feel like interacting with. I figure if I don't make it a big deal. why should anyone else?:)

[Beverley Sims]

In all three categories I just play it by ear, take it as it comes, or leave the scene.