New and curious

[Rosarychard]

Hey all
So recently very recent me and my fiancé who have been together for 3 years my fiancé told me he wanted to dress in women's cloths I was very shocked and a bit taken back about it but stayed positive to him an told him I love him so much and that we can work through it together he hasn't said much an he's very confused and I just want to support him the best I can he is worried that the feeling has only just come up and he is 25 were as most people have been doing it since they were young I know right now he is so ashamed and dosnt feel like a dignified man at the moment because of this and he is scared of anybody finding out I just wanted to know what the best thing to say to him would be as I really don't like that he feels this way about himself
I'm terrified about all this change I'm 21 and we just moved out of home together and it's all so confusing and just needed someone to talk to as I wouldn't betray his trust and tell any of my freinds
Do I go and buy him stuff to use ?
Do I help him figure out makeup an stuff like that?
He won't really say much about it do I let him just figure it all out ?
I don't know I just really wanna help any suggestions would be great he is the joy of my life an I would do anything to take this feeling of not being good enough or torn between 2 things away from here sorry for the long post thanks :)

[Jenni Yumiko]

It's very embarrassing for a guy to come out for fear of ridicule, getting bear up etc. he has probably hid this part of him for a long time. Patience and being completely open to him will help and as time goes he'll let you more and more in. Diving head first, usually results in overload on both ends. Just make sure he knows you love and support him and are there for him.
And welcome to the forums!

[Erica Marie]

At this early stage all you can do is be supportive. And I want to applaude you for being there for him. Many of us have gone through relationships that ended because of a gf that did not or didnt want to understand and be supportive.
Dont push the subject, he may be scared or confused. Just be there for him and reassure him that things will be alright.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi and welcome to the forum

You have made a great start by seeking advice I am glad you decided to join us.
The main thing is to let him know you support him and will be there to talk anytime he wants too. Not everyone started at a young age so dont worry too much about that. You may want to encourage him to join the forum as there is always someone with the information needed.

Take things slow as this is something that does not need to be rushed.
When you are both more comfortable talking about it then you can think about clothes etc

The hardest thing for our group is accepting who we are and that this is part of us.

[Bethany38]

Early on in the discovery of this side of me, I was in a really confused and scary place. My wife, and I discovered my femm side together as it were. This side of me had always been there but I refused to ever let it surface. So when I finally started to come to terms with myself, my wife needed support and info also. That is when she found this place. Then she did a beautiful thing and introduced me to the forum. One of the numerous things I will never be able to repay her for. This place helped me to see I was part of a wonderful community of others like me.

[RADER]

Hi and welcome to the forum; As said above, just go slow. A Man's ego is very fragile, It took a lot
for him to come out to you. Many Men never come out to their Sweet Harts because of fear of rejection.
Rejection is a big thing to the Male Mind; Just the thought of being laugh at can drive a man into the
underground.
He is a very lucky man for having a fiancé like you that will go through the trouble to find out more
information about a person who likes to wear womens clothes. Remember he is the person you fell in
love with, And will be very loving of you for understanding his desires. Talk about it when he is ready,
Most men love to talk about the subject, but do not have a friend they can trust.
Introduce him to the forum; He will find out as I did that he is not the only person with similar desires.
Good Luck:
Rader

[Lady Catherine]

Just be patient and stay understandind and things will be fine. Talk when the time is right and and don't push it to quickly.

[Jenniferathome]

Rosary, dont go too far too fast. Just talk to him. Start with the basics. When? Why does he think now? What kind of things doe she like? Just conversation. He'll be scared nd ashamed and embarrassed. That will pass.

[Kate Simmons]

None of this can really be forced. It's even tougher when in a relationship. Really knowing the other person is the key ingredient to any successful relationship. Sometimes we just need to take it slow Hon.:)

[Jenara]

My wife has been a huge support to me since I came out to her. There are times I need to figure things out myself though. If he doesn't know about these forums, the best thing you could do is steer him our way. This way he can ask the same questions we all asked at one point. He'll have friends on here. You will as well. My wife is so glad I showed her this forum so she could talk to other GG's like her and not feel so overwhelmed.

Just be honest with each other. He may or may not be willing to dress in front of you to start. Every situation is different. I didn't think I wanted my wife to see me at first but she knocked and I said come in, and we both liked what we saw.

Don't lose sight of your needs as well. Be sure to lay down some of your own ground rules. A relationship is a two-way street.

[Jenniferathome]

I don't know I just really wanna help any suggestions would be great he is the joy of my life an I would do anything to take this feeling of not being good enough or torn between 2 things away from here sorry for the long post thanks :)

And remember that when you have made 10 posts, you can join the FAB (Females At Birth) forum that is available only to women. There are many women here just like you. Just get 10 posts in.

[Annette Todd]

Hey all
So recently very recent me and my fiancé who have been together for 3 years my fiancé told me he wanted to dress in women's cloths I was very shocked and a bit taken back about it but stayed positive to him an told him I love him so much and that we can work through it together he hasn't said much an he's very confused and I just want to support him the best I can he is worried that the feeling has only just come up and he is 25 were as most people have been doing it since they were young I know right now he is so ashamed and dosnt feel like a dignified man at the moment because of this and he is scared of anybody finding out I just wanted to know what the best thing to say to him would be as I really don't like that he feels this way about himself
I'm terrified about all this change I'm 21 and we just moved out of home together and it's all so confusing and just needed someone to talk to as I wouldn't betray his trust and tell any of my freinds
Do I go and buy him stuff to use ?
Do I help him figure out makeup an stuff like that?
He won't really say much about it do I let him just figure it all out ?
I don't know I just really wanna help any suggestions would be great he is the joy of my life an I would do anything to take this feeling of not being good enough or torn between 2 things away from here sorry for the long post thanks :)

Rosarychard,
First you have shown your fiancé that you aren't going to kick him to the curb because he is discovering the feminine side of their personality. Your support is the best thing you can ever give him. We don't all start out from an early age dressing in female clothes. First of all you can let him know from us that he does not have to feel ashamed and with your support you can help to reassure him. He should also participate here so that he can see that he is not alone and feel reassured that there are many others.
I understand your confusion. Does he know that you will not betray his confidence? If you have not told him as much, please do so.
Don't just go buy him stuff. Better to go along and provide assistance, advice and cover to shop.
It is very hard to just figure everything out. You grew up female he grew up male he has not had the benefit of learning the knowledge you consider just a part of growing up.
Helping him with make-up would be a wonderful thing for him. But there is something liberating about getting a professional make over. Maybe that can be a goal once he gains in confidence.
If he wants to stay in the closet now let him know that is fine. There may come a time when he wants to venture out. This is not only a journey for him, but for you as well.
Don't pester him to talk but you can offer hints that you are fine and open to talk. Maybe offer to shape his eyebrows or playfully put lipstick on him or do his nails. There are lots of things you could do. Be creative and make it fun! It will bring you closer together.
My lord I would have loved to have allowed my feminine side to take root when I was 25.

Best of luck

Annette

[Rosarychard]

so just to keep an update i had a chat with him today and he seemed a lot more willing to talk i told him about this wonderful website and all of your helpful responses and he asked me to do his makeup which was one of the best feelings i have ever felt and after he put one of my dresses on i really seen a side of this truly beautiful man that i have never seen i seen a shining beautiful proud human being it just made me so happy that i could see him this way and now he is more excited then ever hes shopping online at this moment :) bu i will definently be getting him on here and along the way asking alot more questions

[DaniG]

First, you're a wonderful person to be open and support your fiancee. Not everyone would. Your giving nature shows what a giving nature you have and it bodes well for your relationship. Stop, take a break, and give yourself a pat on the back.

Offer to do a girls night. Do his nails, or do his makeup. Take him shopping for accessories. Do something together, so that he knows you accept his feminine side.

But have a conversation with yourself too. Know what boundaries you can accept. When you're both ready make sure he knows what they are. Take care of youreself. Keep a watch on your emotional state. Find a confidant to help you talk through things.

You're a warm, giving soul. Good luck!

[Tracii G]

Welcome Rosary glad you have joined us.
You have done the the right thing coming here and IMO you are going about it the right way.
Always take your time and don't rush things.
Your last post is very positive and I am so glad he responded to you thats awesome!!
The fact you are open and supportive is the best thing to be at this point.Men at his age are very sensitive to ridicule so please let him know you would never "out" him in front of friends and family that is soo important.Trust is everything always remember that.
I think down the road you will be the best thing to ever happen to him and trust me he will know it forever.
I'm really happy for both of you.

[Beverley Sims]

Rosary,
Do nothing unless asked, or he wants to share with you.
Just help him by being understanding and being there for him.
He may go for some time without dressing considering your active lifestyle at the moment.
It may come in fits and bursts and if he asks for something then buy it for him.
The relationship will balance out and you will both find your limits.
Try and not be turned off by some of his suggestions as he will probably be trying his limits on you.
There will be erotic moments between you and they are only erotica, not necessarily something that you would practice all the time.
Do not feel inadequate about any of this, he probably has similar feelings.
I wish you well for the future.

[Mistywhite]

Hello ladies, I'm Misty.

Rosarychard, is my darling fiance and she said I should join this forum to chat to you all.

After coming out to my fiance I no longer feel scared/ashamed to dress around her, we plan to go shopping tonight for the first time together to buy some stuff for myself as I'm quite nervous to go by myself, but I'm looking forward to it.
My fiance ended up buying me some new clothes for me to wear today, which I am currently wearing, I'm loving the feel of new clothes and excited to try new clothes on, I am so happy that I can do this without fear of being caught or ridicule. I'm also glad that she put me onto this forum so I can chat to like minded people.

[NicoleScott]

Do I go and buy him stuff to use ?
Do I help him figure out makeup an stuff like that?
He won't really say much about it do I let him just figure it all out ?

Others have offered good comments regarding your support, so I just want to comment on the quoted part, above.
No, don't go out and buy him stuff. His tastes/interests may be different that what you think. Offer to go shopping with him.
Offer to help him with makeup.
Let him know that in order to be supportive, you need to know some things, what he's thinking, where he wants his crossdressing to go, etc.
Encourage....no, insist.......that he talk.

[deebra]

CDing is not something you try and drop and never think about it again, it's always there and in your mind. It's a part of you and it was born in your brain to like girly things and it will never go away. If you can accept and live with this for the rest of your lives then think of the glass as being half full and it's something you can share and enjoy together. It can be FUN, you can be two different couples where others are not, two girls enjoying each other or a BF/GF. Your acceptance can also bring you closer together, he will always appreciate this acceptance and not condemination. He might have opened up a blessing that time will allow you to look back on and appreciate. After all it's just his choice of clothes, just so he doesn't get carried away and embarass both of you in public. Go with it for a while and see what happens, if it's something you don't want you can always leave.

[Geena75]

For Misty

All I can say is "Take your time." It is really easy to get an overload on this. Move too fast and you may get more confused, exhilerated, but confused. Stay in charge and enjoy each feeling as you choose to go there. This site is an enabler, keep that in mind as you get advice.

All the best;

Geena