Need opinions

[Bonnie Stone]

I have been reading the posts on here and all the replies to those who have questions about CD'ing, male to female clothing and sorts, I must say that all of you girls have given some very fine and gracious answers to a lot of the questins and needs that are on here.

So girls, I have a question, and I'm going to be very honest and I do want to hear your honest replies, because it is something that I really need to finds some answers to..

I've worn lady clothing on and off at different times for a year so , lately being more and more, whenever I get the Chance. I enjoy the way I feel when I'm dressed .

OK girls, hang on to whatever u can, heres where it takes a different turn, I'm a 60 year old, but I know age has nothing to do with it. but heres where it gets touchy, I'm also the minister of a local church. I have hidden things very well, and until now, u who read this,will be the first to know. The question is do I just quit CD'ing because of who I am or would you continue to do what really makes you feel comfortable inside. please be honest with ur replies because I'm am truly trying to deal with this in my life, Thanks to all...

[MsJanessa]

My advice is to continue with your cding----after all crossdressing is not a sin (at least in most religions) and as long as you are discreet about it, why give it up?

[FelicityMay]

Yea, ive had the same conflict with myself. going on an LDS mission soon, realized that it wasn't affecting me for the worse and that it is actually something that helps me strive to be happy and better :)

BTW this thread will probably get moved to the religious discussions... just a heads up

[Laura912]

You know, as a minister, that when asked for advice, the role the advisor usually takes is to ask questions to help the person find their own answers. You suggest that this has been happening for a year or more. Where would you like for this to go? Do you wish to keep this to yourself, i.e., in the closet or do you wish to be more public? If private, are you comfortable with the feelings you have about the issue? Many here deal with a fair amount of guilt. If you are interested in going public, how will your congregation handle the information? Can you reconcile your religious beliefs with cross dressing which is not an easy task for some? That should get you thinking....

[AllieSF]

Very tough question Vickie and one that can only be answered by you. Questions about what to wear, where to go, what looks best on me are nothing compared to your question. My opinion is that crossdressing is not wrong in the eyes of God, no matter what religion, if one believes in a loving God. Now, that is only one side of it because we all have to interact and live in that real world where this hobby, need, lifestyle or whatever one likes to call it is not widely accepted nor tolerated. The consequences for someone being identified and then exposed to the greater public, not just family and friends, but also other acquaintances, work and the community at large where they live their day to day lives can be quite hard on someone not ready to deal with those consequences. Someone who "has" to crossdress versus who enjoys doing it will have a much harder time keeping this private over the long term. The main thing in your situation with the ministry and congregation involved makes it even more complicated.

So, if you are or can get to that point of self acceptance and love, then your decision may be much easier to make. However, if you are just starting to really explore this side of you, maybe because of age or whatever, it may also be quite difficult to go at a slow pace as you discover what all this means to you. In either situation, I would keep your secret extra safe until you are ready to deal with whatever may come your way if found out. Once you accept and own who you are in all shapes and forms, the easier it becomes. I wish you the best of luck and just be careful for now.

[PaulaQ]

You should be true to yourself first. You have nothing to be ashamed of, God made you thus way, in my opinion. I don't know what to tell you about how to deal with your congregation, depending on your denomination, it's possible many won't understand. (Scratch that, and just leave it at "many won't understand.")

[TeresaCD]

Hi Vickie, I have the same sort of questions.
If you played golf in your spare time, would you have the same issues?
What about going to the gym?
Going to a bar for a quiet drink?
Why does this hold such a stigma?
What you do is not who you are, just an expression of it, in my opinion.
That expression can change, can it not?
Does your dressing affect anyone else?
What does your SO (if you have one) say?

[Brenda79135]

Wow, talk about a touchy subject. Since this can touch on the religous forum I am having troubles on how to answer this. You have to determine if this is a sign to take a new direction in your life. The feelings you are having are creating a conflict within you and trying to figure it out is not going to be easy. Take it slow and see what developes.

[PaulaQ]

I'd also like to point out one other thing Vickie, you may have less option to quit than you suppose. Now this may not apply to you, but it is the experience of many of us that we periodically become so ashamed of ourselves over cross dressing that we purge - throwing away all our items and swearing "never again!". Many of us start again eventually.

This is my third cycle of cross dressing. I've purged twice before.

[Stevie]

Going to first say that you have to do what makes you happy. With that said religion is one of the battles that I'm dealing with my wife. Guess it is a sin to dress in woman's clothes. It is a moral issue. Hasn't stopped me though.

[Jenniferathome]

you're a minister who happens to be a cross dresser. There's nothing wrong in that. I wouldn't give it one more second of thought.

[Mickey_39]

One could argue that in the old testament the words do not directly address the issue of crossdressing but could be twisted to support the argument of it being wrong in the biblical sense.

That said are not the religious of this day and age considered new testament Christian's and not bound by the old?

Nobody here can answer your question for you. We can only offer you information to help you find YOUR own answer. That answer is as personal as your relationship with your selected deity.

[Janie {3]

Dear, I promise you, you will not be able to stop. Enjoy it.

[aalynn88]

My experience has been that I couldn't quit crossdressing even back when I really wanted to. I also got to the point where I could not stand to be in the closet any longer. You may be surprised how accepting people are of us. Most of the people I know have at least been cordial about it and most very supportive. However, I do not go to work en femme, only because Im in construction and it just wouldn't be appropriate. The rest I will say is just my opinion. I believe my Higher-Power wants me to be open and honest. When I was in the closet, I had a problem, guilt and shame. Now, if someone doesn't like my crossdressing, it is they who have the problem. To me, crossdressing is not wrong but prejudice is. Perhaps you will get people to re-evaluate thier own prejudice's once they know you are a crossdresser. After all, you will still be the same person they always knew, just with better fashion sense!!

[nhlighthouse]

I am 63 years old and have been wearing/under dressing for quite some time and It say that people in religion are people of the CLOTH...but in doesn't specify man or womans cloth. So with that in mind in my humble opinion IMHO I say go for it and be desceet with it and manage that for a while and see if it just enough for you to get by without coming out completely..Praise the Lord!

[Miriam-J]

I understand the conflicts, Vickie. Of course, we can't touch on religion here, but I think a search of the NT and your heart will assure you that there's nothing sinful about it. If it's a part of you, you probably won't be able to suppress it even if you try so it's best to find a healthy and secure way to express yourself. My parents are both retired ministers, so I understand how you are always under a judgmental magnifying glass from those in your congregation and the community, no matter what you do - especially if you're in a small town where everyone knows everyone. It's not fair but you're more restricted in your expression (at least until retirement) than most of us, and need to ensure no prying eyes discover your activities. Fortunately this can be accomplished by a combination of window blinds and door locks when home, and public CDing only when far enough away that there's near zero chance you'd be recognized. It would be much easier if you were in a profession that received less scrutiny and judgment, but you didn't get to your age and experience without knowing that part.

I wish you luck as you move forward.

Miriam

[Barbara Maria]

They're just clothes.What can it possibly hurt?I suppose you'd have to keep it from your congregation,but in private I say go for it.You're not offending anyone.

[flatlander_48]

Hi:

Interesting situation. The truth is that what we do and what we discuss on this forum is completely within the range of the human gender/sexuality continuum. Unfortunately many people outside of our community don't see it that way. Particularly as it relates to ministers, people often feel justified in requiring a stricter and more traditional set of standards. That said, if you were discovered, what might the consequences be? You're almost as old as I am, so you may be thinking about retirement in the not too distant future. Hopefully discovery would not have a bearing on this. Anyway, it sounds like you have a decent handle on this, but the question is if that is true for the others around you. How open minded are they?

[Sophie Yang]

I've worn lady clothing on and off at different times for a year so , lately being more and more, whenever I get the Chance. I enjoy the way I feel when I'm dressed .

OK girls, hang on to whatever u can, heres where it takes a different turn, I'm a 60 year old, but I know age has nothing to do with it. but heres where it gets touchy, I'm also the minister of a local church. I have hidden things very well, and until now, u who read this,will be the first to know. The question is do I just quit CD'ing because of who I am or would you continue to do what really makes you feel comfortable inside. please be honest with ur replies because I'm am truly trying to deal with this in my life, Thanks to all...

Welcome to the late bloomers club!

There are two interpretations to “who I am.” In context of your post, you are the minister of a local church and in the context of this site, you are a cross dresser. As a young man, I assume, that there was something deep inside you that pushed you to the ministry. As a mature man, there is, I assume, something deep inside you that is pushing you, and all of us here, to cross dress. No amount of rationalization is is going to make that desire go away.

If a member of your congregation came to you and told you that a special person made them feel comfortable inside, would that not be a blessing, a person to cherish. Comfortable inside often means a sense of completeness, wholeness, centered, more creative, at peace with oneself. Both my wife and my fem side make me more comfortable inside. In a nutshell, they make me a better, more complete, but far from perfect human being.

God loves all his children including his cross dressers. He just sometimes gives them greater challenges. Take it slow and let your fem side blossom. Who knows, it may be a new calling.

[RenneB]

Hard to add anything that hasn't already been said. There's a lot of 'talent' on this site and the voices seem to be very accepting. Problem is, not must of the general public is as accepting.

I also agree with a few of the others have said, you can stop, but you can never really 'quit'. It's how I was born.

I hope this helps....

Renne......

[Jilmac]

I would say to continue in your ministry, the congregation has to know nothing if you wish to keep your dressing a secret. If you feel comfortable when you're dressed and it doesn't interfere with your ministerial duties, then continue that too. You may not be unique, there may be more crossdressing ministers than you are aware of.

[tall2826]

I say continue to do it and keep it a secret, just do what you do and it is good for your mental health.

[Lisa Gerrie]

My crossdressing has nothing to do with my job, but if the nature of your job/beliefs cause an internal confict, that can be wrenching.

It is my strong belief that crossdressing is not a sin. The only true sin (in my secular opinion) is harming others.

Does your crossdressing harm others? If not, in what way is it wrong?

[Megan Thomas]

Can I just ask if the Op has ever had to minister to one of their congregation on the subject of crossdressing. If so, how did they handle that?

[Beverley Sims]

You may have difficult decisions with yourself.
Finding the real truth if your doctorine has an issue with modern sexual outlook and lifestyles.
Have you had to change your outlook in this direction within yourself.
For most remember shame is not an issue, just peoples upbringing and outlook.

[Rogina B]

Become a Unitarian [UU] minister and embrace your femininity rather than carry this guilt and conflict around in your head.

[Lisa Gerrie]

I like UU myself, but a person's religious beliefs are as profoundly intimate -- and resistant to change by "deciding" -- as their gender identity.

[Bonnie Stone]

Thanks for all the kind words, I know this is a issue that I must deal with, but you know girls, I must go on, I am who I am, and being a CD is who I am, so it will continue to grow and I will cross each bridge as I get to it, again, many Thanks

[DonnaT]

It's a God given characteristic, IMHO.

We are all different in some ways. Like some are left handed, some right handed, and some are ambidextrous. You could equate being ambidextrous with being double gendered (trans) or liking to wear the clothes of both genders.

And since God doesn't make mistakes, then there is nothing wrong with it. Matthew 19:12

[slamddoger]

maybe you can help some one in same bolt sine you have the same prob.

[Bonnie Stone]

I do hope so, I've meet a wonderful friend on here and they have really helped me a lot , this place is an awesome place for advice, and support, thanks girls for being honest and for all of your wonderful advice, special thanks to Everyone...