Funny thing about getting more "Mature"

[Denise_Lafame]

Somehow when I was younger like ten years ago, I had the idea that the constant battle of the genders within would taper off somewhat as I got ahem, more Mature.

Boy was I mistaken. It's just gotten worse :eek:. More time to think about it? I don't know but once again I've been proven dead wrong.

Anyone else run into this by chance?

Denise

[ArleneRaquel]

As I have gotten "more mature" my desire has grown & grown !

[DaniG]

So given the chance to back those ten years, ladies, would you transition?

Because that's where I am right now. I want to transition, but I feel like I could hold out if I wanted to. Yet would I just end up getting more and more miserable, and end up transitioning in my old age? I'd rather do it now when I still have some youth left. Really torn over this.

[emma5410]

I spent a long time thinking that the cross dressing was my problem so I purged and tried to stop. Eventually I realised the problem was deep within and nothing I could do would cure it. The cross dressing was not the problem but a way of coping with it. I also believed that it would fade with age. Believing that was my last hope. It did not and one day it blew and I have now started transitioning.

[kellycan27]

daniG

May I ask why would you want to hold off for another 10 years?

[DaniG]

Good question. For my wife & kids.

But, I suppose, also to be 100% sure. Anybody know where I can sign up for the scroll lowered down from Heaven? 'Cause no matter how much confirmation I get, I always have that nagging doubt. lol

But less doubt as time goes on.

[kellycan27]

I get ya...

When it's all said and done... What's left is a huge leap of faith in stepping off into the abyss.

[Donna Joanne]

I spent a long time thinking that the cross dressing was my problem so I purged and tried to stop. Eventually I realised the problem was deep within and nothing I could do would cure it. The cross dressing was not the problem but a way of coping with it. I also believed that it would fade with age. Believing that was my last hope. It did not and one day it blew and I have now started transitioning.

My biggest step was when I realized Donna was Me, and we are not a guy who just wants to dress up in women's clothing (no disrespect to any of our CD sisters) but that I am a woman trapped in the wrong body. Emma, being a cross dresser isn't a problem, it's a part of who you are. The only problem you and many others (myself included at one time) have is accepting who you are, and learning to live as full and happy a life that is possible under the constraints we and society and circumstances place on us.God bless you, and I pray you find happiness and contentment. Remember being TG/TS or C/D isn't a sickness or disease, and there is no need therefore for a CURE!

[AllieSF]

Funny thing about maturing. I found out about crossdressing when I was very mature. I got better and embraced it more as I matured ..... more. Now I am so mature that instead of being older than dirt, I am older than the rock that the dirt came from. Getting mature is wonderful, but it sucks at the same time. The "What If's" and "Why Not's" seem to always be around to remind you that it is much better to forget that past and look toward that future and live it, because like life it will eventually end and probably sooner than we think!

[Beth-Lock]

My experience took the same overall form in so far as its trend and destination, though it differs in detail. I do not regret transition or SRS/GRS, though it has proven difficult and problematic.

[Rianna Humble]

Hi Denise, :welcom: to the Transsexual Forums!

I spent far too many decades hoping that my need to be a woman would just go away. Eventually, it just exploded on me and I was left with no choice but to act.

I don't think that the reason your dysphoria is getting worse is because you have more time to think about it. In my not so humble opinion, gender dysphoria is a progressive condition that just continues to get worse until we do something about it.

[Aprilrain]

I feel like I could hold out if I wanted to. Yet would I just end up getting more and more miserable, and end up transitioning in my old age? I'd rather do it now when I still have some youth left. Really torn over this.

I have never heard anyone say they wish they had waited longer to transition

One of the biggest motivating factors for me was that I knew this would become an issue again and again and again so i might as well do something about it now while im still younger.

[Donna Joanne]

You are so right April. I have known I am Donna since I was 15, yet I have delayed transitioning until now at 53. I so wish I had transitioned then, but someone much wiser than me once said "hindsight is 20/20". Good luck to you Denise, and all my other "mature" sisters.

[groove67]

I am sure we all had our battles with knowing we where in the wrong body. I just look forward to at little over 46 i will be what i have known i was most of my life and looking for the great years ahead, being complete. Marianne

[Annaliese]

For me it is this is who I am, and stopped fighting it, it seam it worse.

[golfgurl]

I too have started to CD much more as I have gotten older. I think because I have more time on my hands and because I am accepting this as part of me I really feel great about dressing up. It could be quite some time until I come out, but for now I enjoy my gurly time.

[Barbara Ella]

I started this very late (65), and have only had a short time to turn this over in my mind, albeit it constantly. I must agree with Rianna, that it is really more about having had so much time to mull over the situation, it becomes clearer that it is not going away, there is less to fear from it, and it is what was meant to be.

It must be so very very hard for a young and/or middle aged person to realize this, and balance the ramifications of self and family in their decisions, and this can also weigh on desires to do things, which may be lessened with age/life situation.

I do not have the what if's or the why not's to think about, just the thought of being an old lady, without the young bits to remember...lol.

Barbara

[drag n fly]

You'n me Barbara...You've really transitioned into a pretty woman..I'm still an old fat bald guy with pretensions...but I'm okay..Just trudging along...happy...You seem so well..And so pretty...smooches Jackie

[kimdl93]

Do you mean that you thought you'd grow out of it? No such luck...at least in my case. I thought or hoped that I might grow up one day, but I find that instead, I've grown more willing to accept myself. And honestly, that's a good thing.

[StephanieC]

Well, I'm a late bloomer. So it hasn't been long. But my SO had remarked that things seemed to have sped up since I "came out".

-stephani

[Veronicatally]

I've discovered that it's best not to think in terms of "when" or "too late" or "late bloomer." We come out when we come out. There are no re-dos or regrets in life. A wise man once said, "the most important moment in life is THIS one." Feel inspiration in coming out no matter when where or how. Bravo !

[Beverley Sims]

With me I feel that there were opportunities missed.
I feel I was too cautious then, but times, tolerance and situations are changing all the time.

[Diversity]

Yep! The older I get, the more I want to do the things that I want to do and have not done because of social pressures, lack of time, work, family, etc. It is now time to begin enjoying my femme side, and that I am now beginning to do! Admittedly, it keeps getting stronger every day!
Di

[ChelseaErtel]

Oh it just gets stronger and stronger. I wish I would have tried to understand my GD any amount of years ago. I think if I would have had the courage to take a good hard look at myself and seek therapy I would have transitioned and not gotten married. Things would have gone so differently. But, I wouldn't turn back time because I wouldn't have my two wonderful children if I did.

Maturity has brought more pain and a much higher degree of GD. I believe that the earlier you seek professional help, figure out who you are and determine the correct path for you the better your "later" life will be.

[DeidraDee63]

I so agree, the older I get the stronger the desire is, I have now personally discarded the guilt, shame and at least accepted it for myself. In my situation a series of unrelated medical events have opened doors to some answers. I now know this is me I had no choice in the matter. My GD was probably due to exposure to DES prenatally but a medical subject that even Drs do not like to discuss. I have come to peace with it personally and others will have to deal with their own concerns. In my situation for some very strange unknown reason my body has decided to convert Testosteron to Estrogen, been to 15 doctors no one has the answers so I will let nature take its course. If I knew thirty years ago what I know now maybe things would have been different but that is life and my family comes first. In closing I thought it was a phase, a fancy, it would go away, when I got old the desire would be no more; well WRONG big time. The desire becomes stronger and more overpowering everyday. Sorry about the rambling but even limited self acceptance to me is pretty new.
Hugs to all,
Deidra

[ronda]

The older i get the stronger the desire to dress and the wardrope has grown to a full and over flowing closet so i can't hide in there anymore i have to stand out in the open Hugs Ronda

[TeresaL]

Being uninformed and undereducated, I always thought it would go away as I aged. 50 plus years of denial and fighting it did not stop it for me. Family, job, and children kept me with an excuse not to push it too hard. I wish I knew what I now know from the get-go, and responded by quickly transitioning in 1966. But I didn't know what I do know now, and couldn't know to transition when I knew it would be ok. But I know now.

[Denise_Lafame]

You are so correct Rianna about the progressive thing. It's so interesting in life that those of us who are TS are always thinking that if I just do ....... fill in the blank. everything will turn around. If I get married it will all go away, If I keep myself really busy I won't have time to think about it, and on and on.

At this point in my life, I just sort of am limbo. Great place to be after working hard all my life and expecting retirement to be a reward or something. Ya right.

Denise

[steftoday]

I just came across this thread, and some of what's written here are words I could have penned myself. I'm in my 50s, and I'm trying to figure out exactly what and where I should be headed. It does tend to come to the forefront of my thinking a lot more, the older I've gotten.

[Ashanti]

I do agree with you on this Veronicatally. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. No regrets.

[Norah_joy]

Another funny thing about getting mature before you accept who you are is that by that time, you've probably accomplished much in your life. In my case, a loving wife (fifty years this year), children and grandchildren. So here I am at age 73, doing my best to keep to the ground rules my wife and I agreed to 13 years ago: dress at home when she isn't. By the way, I've tried to renegotiate the ground rules but wife has yet to budge. Norah

[Angela Campbell]

I knew about this when I was around 4. First I hid it from everyone. Didn't go away. Then I tried to deny it and lead a normal life that everyone wanted me to. I got married, had kids etc. That didn't help much. It kept coming back a little stronger all along.

Finally after so many years of hiding it, denying it and fighting it I finally accepted it. Kind of like putting one straw on the camels back every day until it is finally too much. Then when you tell someone they say "this is so sudden"!

For me it has not been sudden it is like water building behind a dam and then the dam bursts. All of it comes out and escalates out of control.

[LaurenB]

I can echo what you said, Almost - to a tee. I will say that at least at our age the need to compete peters off and, at least for me, the whole male sexual distraction abates. That aspect so clouded the CD vs. TG/S aspect in my life for decades. Now things seem to have more clarity. I don't necessarily need to dress to be female. This doesn't mean that I am seen as female by others (although it happens pretty often), but I now can just be me which in action and in words hews much closer to the way my wife and female friends/relatives act and talk. This all feels natural.

[Josie06]

I don't know if it is getting more 'mature', like getting older.

What you speak of to me is that war that rages within ourselves. Are we 'her' or are we 'him'? Well, I can tell yiu it dang near killed me. Really, I was at the edge of that cliff.

I found somehow (an epiphany, I guess) that I was a woman despite my outer wrapping. When I let my inner self, the woman I am reign all things began to fall into place and work out. I could be me and not have to scream it from the rooftops or become the center of others attention.

Just be myself and take the looks and the questions as they come. I may never transition and have 'my' gender affirming surgery but then I know who I am. Since that day, several decades ago now, I am myself and I am happy with myself.

I think the battle will be there as long as you (or whomever) questions themselves. Once you know who you are and accept who you are ... your naturally questioning mind will move to other more important questions.

For some of us that might be ... what color nail polish, the height of the heel on my high heels or the color of the panties I wear. Sorry, I'm not trying to be frivolous but once you cross the divide you created within yourself, you world will open up. Till the next crisis and we know in this life they do occur and are usually centered around another person ot place and not really centered on ourselves.

My two-cents worth any way.

Take care, Josie.