Discreet Shipping (concept)

[Lisa Gerrie]

[briefly posted and deleted previously]

When I was married and deeply closeted I saw lots of stuff on the internet that I dreamed of buying, but I always struggled with how to receive packages. It was not practical to rent a mailbox, use my work address, etc. Now I'm happily divorced, living alone, and free to receive any damned thing I want. (Neener neener.) So now it occurs to me that this community could be helpful to those who still live the stealthy life.

If 1) you saw a forum post like this...

Help Needed

I'm a closeted crossdresser near (city/state). I'm hoping to find a sympathetic person who lives nearby who would be willing to receive a "pretty package" for me, from (name of company).

...and 2) you checked the person's forum posts, and they seemed like a normal (so to speak) forum member, might you PM a response? If I saw a city near me I think I'd do it as a random act of kindness, and I suspect others might too. There are a lot of helpful, truly sympathetic people here.

I realize that both parties would have to be careful, as with anything else, and I'm not suggesting that people start posting. And I am NOT volunteering! I just wanted to run these panties up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes. One concern might be that the recipient would have to give a real name and mailing address to their closeted friend. That wouldn't be a problem for some people. Another concern is illegal activity, but we are mostly talking about commercial packages that have checkable company names on them. I'd ask the person to forward me something like an order confirmation; even if they edited-out their personal information it would be pretty good evidence that nobody is shipping drugs or whatever.

For the darkest of closets, meeting in person wouldn't even be necessary. The recipient could PM when the package arrived, and arrange to leave it outside someplace. The key, I think, would be that this would be a forum-community-based, members-only service.

Nobody should broadcast their unconditional willingness to receive packages, but if a call for help came from the other direction -- near you -- would you respond? What problems do you foresee?

[Stephanie47]

The only way I would respond to a request to allow my home address to be used for another is if there was already a strong social or family bond established. Sure, if my brother-in-law asked to me to receive a birthday present for his wife, I'd say OK. A total stranger, no. And, if my brother-in-law were to make it a habit to hide some activity his wife did not approve of, I'd say no to him.

The person looking for such a secretive arrangement is best served buying from on line retailer who will ship UPS so the recipient can go to their UPS local pickup facility to retrieve his secretive purchases. Or, he can shop on line and have it delivered to the retailer's store. Of course, then the parcel is subject to being opened by the sales associate to check for correctness. I saw a news article stating Wal-Mart was going to start testing on-line purchases delivered to a drop box with a one time access code to the box, so the buyer would not have to wait in line. That would solve the issue of hiding one's physical identity from view of any sales associate.

[Stevie]

Good point. I thought about buying/selling. Never occur about giving my real name and address. Guess you will have to trust that person you're doing business with.

[Beverley Sims]

It does become tricky creating bogus accounts to do financial transactions even with paypal.

[lingerieLiz]

Just go get a postal box. Yes they may want your address, but not sure they ever check. Tell them that you move around a lot and need a place to have mail and packages delivered while you travel. Give them the names personal or business that will receive mail there. You can get a DBA but that is public although almost no one ever checks. I believe ebay and paypal both accept DBAs as a valid account.

You can go buy a prepaid debit card. I have several because companies give rebates and awards with them now and they work just as good as credit cards.

I think many of get paranoid, but most business just want your money. I don't really worry since I'm out. Might you wife find out, yes, but you run that risk anyway.

[Ronah]

Do you not have "Poste Restante" in America? I have used it occasionally in U.K. where I just go to the "Poste Restante" counter at the designated Post Office, produce some identification and pick up the parcel.

[Eryn]

We do. It's called "General Delivery."

Not terribly discreet, but it would just be between you and the postal clerk.

I will add that a lot of "feminine" items are addressed to masculine names in ordinary life. A wife orders something from Amazon using Hubby's account and nobody thinks twice about it. In fact, not that long ago John Smith's wife would commonly refer to herself as "Mrs. John Smith."

[Mariana]

And now I have the feeling I might have been careless in my first online shop.

Well, I gave my email adress and my ebay account tracks my history. But I've used it too few times, I guess no one will track that. As for the email, I think it's ok. Yeah, my name is there but what will the seller do with it? Blackmail me? I don't think so.

My main concern about it is how to receive the shoes, since I'm not home for most part of the day, certainly won't be here when these heels finally arrive. But as much fear as I have, specially as a beginner, I don't think my roomates or the maid will just open up my box. To be more cautious I've said something will come for my girlfriend, asking if they would be home to receive it. I just hope they aren't curious enough to want to know so badly what I'm getting for her, since her shoes would be considerably shorter.

[Laurel B]

I have all my items delivered to a UPS store. THey charge about $3 for delivery and will call you when the package is delivered if you call them and tell them you are expecting a package and give them your cell number.

[JamieQ]

I think a post office box would be the easiest thing to do. I have one and its something like $32 US a year. Mailed feminine things to a male name...who would even care? My daughter once used my credit card in Victorias Secret so now I get their mailings at home in my name. Yay!

[Ronah]

Eryn,

All the delivery clerk would handle is a parcel delivered to Mr. xxxx, and your identity that it is for you. They have no way of knowing, nor would be interested in what it contains. They must handle several hundred packages a day, so unless the clerk knows you it is completely discreet.

[JenniferMBlack]

I understand If you don't want your So to know. But who else is tracking what you are buying and who you are? I have ordered many things from many places I have learned to to use paypal as my credit card info was stolen once, but other then a large amount of email from stores trying to get you to buy more, I have had no other form of tracking.

[mikiSJ]

Both UPS and FedEx have the ability to hold a package at a local destination for pickup. It may require that you contact the shipper ahead of the order to determine how to arrange for this service, but it is available and at no cost.