One of the possible needs to crossdress!

[nhlighthouse]

Over the past month and a half of being a member here and a life time member to the human race....it kind of dawned on me why one of the reason why I and maybe just maybe others crossdress.
How has your sex life physically changed with your SO wife? Is it as active and intense as it was 5-10 years after being married? Do you feel like when you make an appoach you are quickly hugged, kissed and on your way.
I feel that maybe the reason why we seek the feel and desire to wear womens clothing against our bodies as a sense of Security of the touching of soft, smooth and colorful clothing. The distanting that our SO unconscionly do may be driving us towards CDing, along with our childhood experiences, this could be a real eye opener to all.
What is your take and I am looking forward to your feedback! PEACE...Mykchelle

[Michelle13]

I'm still pretty young and I get LOTs of hugs, cuddles, kisses and affection from my girlfriend and I still feel the desire to crossdress. So it may be the case for a few people, but definitely not everyone. lol

It doesn't matter how much soft "girly" things we have in our lives on other people (SO/friends) when it's usually ourselves that want to indulge in these girly acts/cloths. In fact, watching my gf dress up all girly/sexy with extensive makeup and outfits/accessories just makes me want to dress even more and join in. haha

[traci_k]

There are probably a million reasons why we crossdress and as older CDers this is probably one of them. For many of us there was a time when CDing was sexually stimulating and that possibly coincided with having children and the number of sexual trysts with the SO declined. My SO says I lost interest in sex when my response to getting turned down was not to try any more. Instead I had more intense fantasies of being a woman and having more sex and CDing. So lack of female comfort may be a impetus to dress, but certainly not the only one.
Hugs all,

[Kate Simmons]

I think it's mostly one way of expressing part of who we are. :battingeyelashes::)

[Beverley Sims]

Mykchelle,
My life changed little after I got married.
Maybe I am fortunate.
It was not a late onset thing with me.

[Taylor186]

I was crossdressing long before I knew what a SO was. So for me, it has nothing to do with my wife.

[Daryl]

For me it's something I've always enjoyed. In my younger days it was some what sexual, but nowadays it's not.
I just enjoy being comfortable in my life which makes me happy.

[Jenni Yumiko]

I don't think that's the case in my life. While there is less of a tactile bond between us since I came out to her, I was never a touchiest feelie person to begin with.

[glynnis]

I was dressing way before I met my wife but not totaly,mainly underdressing.It is only since I married her she encouraged me to go add the way including makeup.

[Jenniferathome]

Nope. That's just an excuse. Cross dressing is not a substitute for sex or a relationship. You would cross dress if you had sex daily.

[VS Fan]

Very interesting topic actually... I always wonder why this one doesn't come up during the "why" discussions. I am one of those that actually thinks that I dress to "fill in the gap" of the physical closeness, etc. I'm very "needy" physically, always wanting to touch, hug etc, and although my SO isn't opposed to that stuff, she's definitely a "non-cuddler" in bed, doesn't like "messing around" unless it can lead to full sex, which is kind of ironic, since the tables are typically reversed. Anyway, when I started reading the post, I was like "yeah me too!", but Jenniferathome, you present an interesting argument, and I wonder if it's not valid even in my case. Hard to say since I'm NOT having sex daily, and my SO does NOT provide the full physical attention that I desire (although to be PERFECTLY honest, I recognize that my desires are likely unrealistic) but I do think that the argument has merit. I will add though that since I'm in a DADT relationship for the most part, I am sometimes frustrated when sex is not an option (kids, work, life happens) and I can't go do my own thing "instead." So it might be that I would do it LESS with more sex (or think about it less, since I don't get many opportunities anyway), but I *do* get a specific thrill out of dressing that likely ISN'T MET by sex, etc anyway, and until now I never thought about it like that.

Ultimately we're all different and our reasons for doing this are just as variable.....

[Cheryl T]

There is no "distancing" in our relationship. We hold hands ALL the time when together, we kiss more times a day than I could count and we're always hugging.
This is not making up for anything that has decreased because nothing has. It had nothing to do with her when I began (she was only 4) and has nothing to do with her now...it's all about ME!!!

[docrobbysherry]

I think u may be on to something, Lighthouse! It seems many of don't get consumed by this until later in life.

In my case, I didn't even take it up seriously until we were separated!

[iGenny]

I don't think it's a cause, but I suspect it could be a trigger to let it out.

[tiffanynjcd24]

me i just realize that crossdressing is a part of me and i cant really change that and i chose this life

[nhlighthouse]

Thanks for the various and interesting feedback Girls....after thinking more about this, after reading some of these post and TALKING TO Cders from this site...it was determined that another reason why SOME OLDER people crossdress is by dressing like a women gives them the women they do not have readliy available to meet some self-gratifaction that is needed to exist in this world. let's say it is a way to Vent and rid yourself of stress. admit girls don't we all feel better when we are in femmne mode rather that male dull mode? Then you will know exactly what I am trying to convey to you. PS I still hold hands and always hugging my SO wife but it never seems to leads to where it did before reaching the age of 55 and on!
Maybe when you arrive at that age it will hit you and have your AH-HA moment. I don't want to say I told yoiu so...but you heard it right here! :) B<

[Janie {3]

Honey, I have had the desire since I was 3 or 4 and still have it. That's been about , or better than, fifty years.

[nhlighthouse]

Janie if you read the title of the post it clearly stated...ONE of the reasons it was not a blanket statement to effect everyone
Honey, I have had the desire since I was 3 or 4 and still have it. That's been about , or better than, fifty years.

[Barbara Maria]

In my case,after my last wife walked out I pretty much lost interest in sex altogether,so that's not it.Now I'm just glad to live alone and live as the woman I've always wanted to be without having to answer to anyone.Barbara

[kimdl93]

Not at all. In fact I'd make pretty much the opposite observation. When I was first married, I hoped that the desire to dress might dissipate...that regular intimacy might displace the desire to dress. But, at least for me, the desire to dress comes from a different place than my libido. The two happily coexist, but one doesn't regulate or cause the other.