Late night Wal Mart expedition!!

[Lynnmorgan451]

I have a friend who is a lesbian and she's always been a good supportive friend for me. Well, last night when I got home from work/school she was at our house hanging out with my wife and some other friends playing some new songs they'd written, just chillin. I guess I must've looked bummed out. Me and the wife had been text arguing pretty much all day and my friend could read it on my face that I was feeling crummy. So she pulls me to the side and whispers "go get dressed, you're taking me to wal mart!" I didn't have time to fix my hair or put on makeup, I had a full days worth of facial fuzz that I started rubbing and she said " dont worry about it, you look great now lets go!" Now understand, this is monumental for me. I wasn't even wearing girly jeans or anything but i put a bra and a camisole on and we left. I had a cute black wig in my glove box, lol (for emergencies :-p) put it on and off we went! When we got to the store, there was hardly anyone there, which I thought was great. We walked in the front door and there was a small group of young people hanging out by the red box. Pretty PRETTY girls and a couple guys just talking and hanging out. I was feeling really self conscious and my friend could totally tell! She put her hand on my back and said" don't worry! you look adorable!" so we walked passed the group, and they LOOKED, and they got quiet as we strolled casually through the entrance into the store. Whew! lol....So we walked around for a while and one of the employees said "how you ladies doing tonight?" <sigh> "great thanks!" we both said......that felt good :) We looked at clothes for a while and I picked out a couple more camisoles (cuz i love them) looked at shoes, got a couple strange looks from a night stock lady and then off to the checkout line. Now Wal mart at night isnt a very busy place buuuuuuut theres only one register open and the line was l o n g! So we stood in line, very close to other people, which i started to feel nervous about. My friend just started small talk with me to keep my brain occupied which was awesome cuz i was kinda freaking out! When it was finally our turn, the cashier lady said "good evening ladies! Did you find everything ok? " And I said, yes. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

The same group of teenagers were still hanging out in the vestibule when we were leaving and, ya one of the little bitches was laughing at me, but it didnt bother me. I winked at her as we walked out the door, swinging my hips. I felt great :)

[Tracii G]

You deff owned the moment kudos to you and your friend!!!

[~Joanne~]

Hopefully you and your wife have straighten things out because that seems like that should have taken first priority over going to walmart. If not, walking into the door, getting somewhat dressed and heading out to a store with one of her friends might not have been the greatest idea. Just saying.

[Lynnmorgan451]

No actually..things gave gotten worse.....as usual...it wasn't something that we could've sorted out in ten minutes anyway. It's the same ongoing fight we've been having since she found out about my cd.. You're right though. Maybe not the best course of action for the moment but I can't follow her around on my knees kissing her behind constantly. It's gotta be about compromise and to an extent, personal freedom. It felt good to be around someone who understands and accepts me for a little while. If I don't ever stand up for myself then what good am I to anyone?

[Beverley Sims]

I am sorry Lynn,
Standing up for ones self is one thing,

But trying to destroy a relationship?

[Lynnmorgan451]

Trying to destroy a relationship? did I miss something?

[PaulaQ]

It's gotta be about compromise and to an extent, personal freedom. It felt good to be around someone who understands and accepts me for a little while.

It's nice to be let out of your cell for a while, and take a walk in the yard, right?

I'm very sorry for your troubles with your wife. I hope the two of you can find a way to resolve it. Keep in mind that this is a process, and she'll go through (hopefully) several stages before she hits "acceptance", if that ever happens. Some women get stuck on "anger" and stay there a good long time though. You do need to compromise - but it is also a two way street. "My way, or the highway" isn't a position of compromise, and if that's her stance, well, do the best you can.

[Ellanore G.G.]

:doh:
Oh please dont make that mistake with your wife.
My fears, my emotions were just like hers.
But i didnt need to be "fixed " he did :Angry3:
Or SO i BELIEVED.
But the truth was, he showed me over the years, yes years,
that he was still the great funny caring person I loved and married.
These days things are so great, and sometimes not so great,
But i , like most when put in a place of unknowing , built walls, and rebelled.
And it would have been so easy for me to find refuge in " a real man",
but it takes time and patience, it is the real world after all.
And with that time and " kissing my ass" he helped me get though the unknown,
and we have built up a life that is full of trust and compassion,
and we are truly happy with what we are allowed to express these days.
I wish I was one of those wives that could have said " ok babe "
But i could not, how was I to know he had not changed deep down.
I realise you need to be you, but remember she needs to know that too.
I actually prefer my H when hes dressed these days,
Who would have ever thought that.
But it took me along time, and sometimes even now i need reassurance.
But Im not afraid to voice that when the hormones get all muddles up now lol.
Please dont take her anger as rejection.
Talk to her, and see how you both can solve this bit by bit.
yes baby steps, but it will be worth it in the long run. x

[EmilyPith]

It's interesting the reference you make to the Kubler-Ross stages... do you think this works with the acceptance of dressing for the CD and the wife/girlfriend? Also, do you think that the entire five stages (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) are something that could be loosely applied to the acceptance of a husband/boyfriend who comes out as a CD after a long period of silence or denial?

Almost like a misconception (on either the CD or the SO's part) that the male persona is leaving or slipping away?

[Ellanore G.G.]

Hi Emily , is that last post addressed to me ?
If so, well in a way yes, Both of us had these fears.
We both in a way went through stages.
for me the fear I was losing "my man"
for him the fear that I would no longer look on him as " my Husband"
So i suppose we both went though different stages.
Took a long time for him to feel comfortable enfemme around me.
But I get it now, took a long time though , ill be honest.
TBH even when hes not dressed, I can tell by his eyes and manner when hes feeling enfemme .

[jules]

I agree with his wife 100%. That is what my wife and I are going through right now.
Your marriage should always come first.
I'm taking a guess that you don't want to lose your wife? So put the cding on the back burner for a little if you got to. Give her time its a lot for her to take in. I pushed a little to hard when I told my wife and finally she snaped and told me to back off and let her digest what I have told her so I did.
Its good to get out every now and then but make sure you wife knows what your doing. Thats what I did.
For example I told her that I have been wearing nylons and a bra to work a lot of times. She did not get mad instead she asked me one simple question. What would happen if you got hurt at work and they had to take your clothes off? (Broken leg, heart attack, or a bad cut) I did not get mad it was like a lite came on and I thought . Crap your right.
The thing I'm trying to get out in my random way is.
Listen to your wife
Work you arguments out first.
Your don't have to kiss her ass ( me being a cd as not changed the ass hole I can be every now and then. A quoit from my wife lol)
Respect her wishes
reassure her that the man she married is still there. ( thats not kissing her ass. Mine still askes me if I want to be a women)
Don't let crossdressing take over your life.
Explore this new side of you together.
I don't know your situation I'm just making a assumption but
These are my thoughts I don't know if its right but its been working for me so far.

[Lynnmorgan451]

I should've been up front about it when we first started getting serious but its not exactly a mood boosting conversation. Its all my fault for hiding. Its unfair to expect anyone to forgive for what is basically 7 years of deceit. I may be slightly out of place in the cd forum. I have been this way my entire life. Meaning, feeling like a woman inside. I wish it were as easy as "changing my clothes" but its not. I have been suppressing and hiding this for as long as I can remember. I appreciate all of your comments, thoughts and ideas, even the few that are hard to swallow. Thank you all for your perspectives :)

[PaulaQ]

It's interesting the reference you make to the Kubler-Ross stages... do you think this works with the acceptance of dressing for the CD and the wife/girlfriend?

Almost like a misconception (on either the CD or the SO's part) that the male persona is leaving or slipping away?

Yes. For some SO's, their image of the CDer changes, and there is grief with that. For some change is hard, even if it is a pretty minor change.

Also, some may fear social consequences, and could fear / grieve over that.

Look we're socialized pretty hard that boys are boys and girls are girls, breaking that mold is tough for some.

And for a few, their fear that their SO is slipping away turns out to be real, in the end.

[Veronicatally]

Haaaaaaaaaaaa. I laugh because you made me happy. This is a GREAT story. Thanks for sharing. For a gurl, you've got some balls. Good for you. Loved reading that.
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