Am I gay ifi want to have sex with another dresser while were both dressed?

[jsunic_1978]

some are really passable and LOOKS HOT!! Can another question also be answered? why do i find womens shoes sexually attractive? that was always my sexual preference and i was always unconfortable with the vagina, but MMMM I love to cuddle and just grind.

[PaulaQ]

1. Gay:
You are not necessarily gay. You could just be experimenting, or be bisexual. Let me ask you a question - what difference does it make what you are or who you love? Figure that out for yourself and just be with the one you like.

2. Women's shoes attractive:
This is probably indicative of a sexual fetish. It is not uncommon.

3. cuddling etc.:
OK, this is also a type of paraphilia I believe. I can't actually say a lot about it, because I don't have much of a personal frame of reference for it. I have heard of this before, though.

[jsunic_1978]

thank you for the input. I finally came out with my dressing in 2009. Im almost 35 now. I wish i was just a dresser without any fetishes. i believe the shoes\ thing stemmed my dressing, but i am a lot happier when i dress. lesbian in the wrong body, i could be? thanks again

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THOSE HEELS... ;) ) and also, I like to be viewed as Lesbian when i dress but why should I care what others may think, right?

[PaulaQ]

It's really OK. A lot of us have a lot of fetishes, but not all. There's really not a thing wrong with yours. You can probably even guess one of mine. ;)

As for being "a lesbian in a man's body" a lot of us feel like that.

As for being gay or not, really, it's no big deal. Look gay folks are starting to get marriage rights. Meanwhile, some states want to legislate us out of using public restrooms. If that tells you where we are in society's view. (At least in Arizona...)

I'd say don't worry much about it, find someone you love, and love them.

[Lisa Gerrie]

> Am I gay if

"Gay" isn't binary any more than male/female. Endless subtle varieties.

[jsunic_1978]

Public restrooms can be a touchy one! in my experiences, women do not mind, as long as were not LOOKING FOR A DATE WHILE DRESSED just short n sweet replies to any compliments im given and ACTING LIKE A REAL GG what are we soposse to do, use the mens room while were female WELL GET BEAT UP FOR SURE! MEN ARE REALLY NARROW MINDED We really appeaer as no threat to women while were dressed, even for us straight folks that like dressing, but i always make sure im near a coffee shop with single stalls. I had to use the regular female restrooms a few times and never a problem. i live in ohio

i go out alone a lot, but out with a female friend I SHOULD!! then if needed to use the restroom, im just out with the girls which views will not even raise a brow

[PaulaQ]

Just sayin', in some people's minds, being gay is a smaller deal than being TG. None of this makes a lick of sense, but society is what it is.

Also, just saying do what makes you happy, and don't worry about labels. They don't matter.

[jsunic_1978]

i like people to know me both ways and i dress in areas where im known as both ways also. as far as dating goes, i just put jeff on line sights LOL Im reqally starting to make more friends when i dress and jeff is more relaxed also when jeff

[jsunic_1978]

thank you so much purple :) that makes a lot of sense and would you consider an add on if we lived closer/ LOL ou dont look bad

[jsunic_1978]

AWESOME :) I COULD USE A ROAD TRIP, maybe by late summer :) ill add you to my friends, well stay in touch Im in it all for making new friends and concats LOL

[mollycd99]

I'm also a bisexual cross dresser. (Not so hard to say any more...) when I'm Molly, I almost think of myself as a straight woman, and in my general male life, I'm mostly straight identified. So I'm always straight, it's just my gender that switches!

Ok, maaaybe I'm overstating it, I've been with guys as a man, and been with girl/gurls as Molly. But the point is that my focus changes based on how I'm viewing myself at the moment.

But I wouldn't worry about being "gay" -- it's not a disease you catch; it's an identity you choose(or accept). Lots of guys have sex with men all the time and think of themselves happily as straight (or bi). If you decide/realize that you prefer men ALL THE TIME, then, yeah, you might qualify as gay. If you just want a little variety in your sexual palette, well, I don't care what you call it, but it's somewhere on the glorious spectrum of human sexuality.

And Purple, I don't understand 80% of what you wrote, but I'm VERY jealous of the wife approved CDBF. My wife's accepting of the CD, but wants to remain exclusive.

[Shari]

Your description of yourself is a description of me.
If you're messed up, then so am I.

[Kate Simmons]

Offhand, I would say that these are questions you need to ask yourself and be honest with yourself with the answers.:)

[Jenniferathome]

Yes. You are. So who cares?

[I Am Paula]

The only things that really need labels are medicines, and cans of peas.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

The only things that really need labels are medicines, and cans of peas.

That's the truth! I don't label me except to say I'm a woman stuck in a male body. I'm married to a woman. And several years ago my TS friend April came over one Saturday night to visit and hang out. (She finally had SRS a few years ago.) We were both dressed and my wife was away overnight with her mother on a trip. Long story short we both acknowledged how deep our friendship was and one thing led to another. It only happened once and we've kissed each other on other occasions. Our wives know and were okay with it. Heck, your car mechanic might have done the same but sexuality is a fluid thing that has many aspects.

Cheryl Ann

[StarrOfDelite]

If you have sex with another genetically male person while you are both operating under the concept that neither of you is a Man, then I'd have to say that you are not Gay as I understand popular usage of that term. But, on the other hand, you aren't Straight either. Remember, however, the Alice in Transgenderland concept that nobody who indulges in crossdressing, irrespective of what their sexual preferences are, is entirely average, and that, therefore, the response you get on this forum are going to be a whole lot different than what you'd get from a poll aimed at a broader spectrum of Americans. My guess would be that the vast majority of vanilla citizens would define CD and CD sexual conduct as Gay.

[Tamara Croft]

If you have sex with another genetically male person while you are both operating under the concept that neither of you is a Man, then I'd have to say that you are not Gay as I understand popular usage of that term. :OMG: LOL!! seriously? 2 guys put on a dress and have sex and that doesn't make them gay because they are wearing a dress? come on, get real... you don't use clothes to have sex, you use your sexual organs to have sex, male and male = gay... it ain't rocket science :rolleyes:

[whowhatwhen]

The problem with that is gay men are attracted to men, and if you aren't finding guys physically attractive naturally then it's pretty hard to call yourself gay.
It's way too complicated to be so black and white.

[steff13]

:OMG: LOL!! seriously? 2 guys put on a dress and have sex and that doesn't make them gay because they are wearing a dress? come on, get real... you don't use clothes to have sex, you use your sexual organs to have sex, male and male = gay... it ain't rocket science :rolleyes:

im glad someone else said it , im in agreement definatly gay

[Robbin_Sinclair]

BI-SEXUAL CROSS DRESSER...SAY it with me...BI SEXUAL CROSS DRESSER...

There...THAT wasn't so Hard...ulp...I mean...well...was it? So HARD to say?

NO I won't. Why the h... are we told that we that we must say CD or "Cross Dresser?" I don't cross dress.

if I am a woman I dress as a women. I don't "cross dress." if I am a woman and I dress as a man, those are the clothes this woman decided to wear that day. If I am a man and I want to feel like a woman then I dress as a man and be a woman. It has nothing to do with my clothing.

Hand me my tartan laddie. We have to look like women and die like men. Bravo Scots.

It makes no sense. Don't let people call us "cross dressers". Not me anyway.

I am a dresser. I dress just like any other person who is not naked dresses. Jesus may have had an affection for crosses (but probably not) but I do not. I dress just like every human being. I don't cross dress.

[Presh GG]

In a word , YES , you are gay.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

:OMG: LOL!! seriously? 2 guys put on a dress and have sex and that doesn't make them gay because they are wearing a dress? come on, get real... you don't use clothes to have sex, you use your sexual organs to have sex, male and male = gay... it ain't rocket science :rolleyes:

Remember that our sexual identity is mostly in our brain and how we perceive ourselves. I have a male body but a female mind with the associated feelings of being completely female enjoying how I dress, how I relate to both males and females, and the thing I would have loved the most had I been born genetically female---maternity and having a protective husband and a typical family and not playing dress-up but enjoying a typical life. I could really allow my depression to take over knowing I can't experience that. But it is what it is. Having a male body causes my dysphoria today to make the best of it. Just because I have a male body and have sex with a guy doesn't necessarily make me gay. As someone said, labels are for cans of peas and other products. Labels are something created by people to classify people and put them in the appropriate box if you want to go by old 1950's standards and they sometimes become derrogatory. I love all people and will express it however is appropriate and loving. My lable simply says "ME" on it.

Cheryl Ann

[whowhatwhen]

In a word , YES , you are gay.

Explain to me please how one can be gay without finding men in their natural state physically attractive?
This isn't for my benefit since I know I'm fruitier than fruit loops, but I'm curious.

Gay men are attracted to men and masculinity, if you cannot find masculinity attractive then there is no hope for you in gayland.
That doesn't mean the OP is straight, but full on gay is misleading at best.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Debbie, I like how you said everything. With my wife, I feel like I'm a lesbian and we enjoy whatever happens that way. For the way I feel as my feminine self, I enjoy being submissive, and if I'm going to be with an awesome guy, I love knowing that my feminiinty makes me feel and realize who I truly am. I have some great guy friends who don't know about Cheryl, and somehow I feel very safe and protected by them. I think I have a feminine instinct about guys that I'm enjoying and will maybe act upon.

Cheryl Ann

[KateSpade83]

Yeah, if you have sex with another MTF crossdresser then you are GAY!

[Jenniferathome]

Explain to me please how one can be gay without finding men in their natural state physically attractive?
This isn't for my benefit since I know I'm fruitier than fruit loops, but I'm curious.

Gay men are attracted to men and masculinity, if you cannot find masculinity attractive then there is no hope for you in gayland.
That doesn't mean the OP is straight, but full on gay is misleading at best.

No, SOME gay men are attracted to masculinity. Some, are attracted to cross dressers. What they ALL have in common is an attraction to the male organ. Whether hidden by pants or a dress, it's still a penis.

[Marleena]

Am I gay if I read this thread?:D

Seriously though for the OP, if you have sex only with men (even CDers) you are gay. If you still have sex with women too then you are Bi.

I think some so-called straight men (CD admirers) think if they have sex with a CDer that is dressed as a woman then they are still straight (warped thinking I know) but it happens.

[whowhatwhen]

Yeah, if you have sex with another MTF crossdresser then you are GAY!


No, SOME gay men are attracted to masculinity. Some, are attracted to cross dressers. What they ALL have in common is an attraction to the male organ. Whether hidden by pants or a dress, it's still a penis.

The penis means nothing if you're not attracted to men as men.
Being attracted to men is a requirement of being gay and this goes for all the time, not just enfemme either.

"Sorry babe, but I just don't want anything to do with you unless you're enfemme."
"I'm so gay that I need my men to look like women before I can find them attractive."
- Things that no one has said ever

But please, tell me more about being gay.
:daydreaming:

[KateSpade83]

Yeah, if you like penis then you are gay. Me... I consider myself 20% gay because I would have rather been a real woman doing a penis, but as a guy, - even while crossdressed, I will never mess around with another guy or penis. And I'm 20% gay for crossdressing, but I do not really consider myself gay. And saying that you don't have sex or mess with men is a whole level of esteem for being a crossdresser... You're not like those Craigslist crossdressers that advertise for and mess around with men.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

It doesn't matter to me! Because I am me! I can become loving and aroused with anyone to express my love for them and have them feel awesome to be a friend of mine! Let's say I was niether gender. If someone, male or female, expressed their love for me and wanted to fulfill it with a total act of love, I'd be more than willing. Love is more that what our genatalia is. If you want to call me gay and compartmentalize me by sorting me from other people just so you can judge me in this way, so be it. I surely wouldn't care!

Cheryl Ann, complete woman to be and loving life!

[famousunknown]

Am I gay if I want to have sex with another dresser while were both dressed?

Yes.

[Jenniferathome]

"Sorry babe, but I just don't want anything to do with you unless you're enfemme."
"I'm so gay that I need my men to look like women before I can find them attractive."
- Things that no one has said ever

But please, tell me more about being gay.
:daydreaming:

Well, allow me elucidate and educate you:

"Sorry babe, but I just don't want anything to do with you unless you're enfemme." & "I'm so gay that I need my men to look like women before I can find them attractive." are the inner monologues of a homosexual desperately trying to justify they are not homosexual.

Clearly we will not agree on this point but again, not all gay men are attracted to "masculine." You can be a "man" and wear a dress.

[Anneliese]

This and the "attraction" thread are the best I've ever seen here.

FINALLY we're getting deeper than "how do I get rid of five-o'clock shadow".

Bravo!

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Well, I guess I'm gay, homosexual, and lesbian, a "tranny" and whatever label anyone wants to slap on me so others will know when I pass through a line of officials who can classsify me and then toss me in the approriate pen. In the end it makes NO difference. I am who I am! (Does that make Popeye gay?) I really don't care how, or who would label me. I'll make love to a lamp post if I wanted to! Find a definition for that! Seriously, I'll make love to anyone who loves me.

Cheryl Ann

[Regan]

I am gay and a CD who would also love to transition at some time. This is because I have finally accepted that I love being with men and men only. So if two men have sex you are either bu or gay, but what it comes down to is whatever makes you happy.

[Eryn]

[Moderator hat on]

Folks, I had to delete a couple of posts because of explicit content and discussion of items that is not allowed by forum rules. If you need to be that explicit please take the discussion to the Genetic Male forum.

[Julie Gaum]

Thank you Tamara and a few others for seperating fact from fiction. Nevertheless there are so many on this Forum who are more comfortable if they live with Alice in Wonderland that I hate to prick their bubble--- you get what I'm trying to say.
Tamara, I'll write you a PM asap as I'm getting very upset with threads that have nothing to do with any of the forum subjects listed
but ravings that I don't have time getting mad over.
Julie

[Jamie001]

If you have sex with someone that has the same plumbing as you, then you are a gay-homosexual, or at minimum, you are a bisexual if you also enjoy sex with members of the opposite sex.

[whowhatwhen]

Straight people: The definitive source of information on all things gay/bi.

[flatlander_48]

At this stage, it may be a bit too early to say. When we start considering something other than heterosexuality, it is not the work of a moment. Give yourself time to see how it sits for you. Also, being gay or bisexual goes beyond who you screw. It's about who you form close relationships with, who you see in your dreams, how you align yourself politically, etc. Sex is only one part of life. It's not where we begin and end.


Straight people: The definitive source of information on all things gay/bi.

Yes, I wish I knew as much about me as they do...

[LoriFlores]

This is an interesting question. I think much of this behavior may be hormonaly driven. Currently I'm low testosterone but have not started HRT yet. I would classify myself as bi-curious. If I had a higher estrogen level I suspect that I would be totally attracted to men.

[Badtranny]

But please, tell me more about being gay.

I hate to argue with my girl WWW but there is no way a dude who is into other dudes is straight regardless of how they're dressed.

It is true however that most gay guys 99% are NOT into CD's and there is definitely a grey area but "straight" ain't got no grey in it.

[Anneliese]

I'm a guy who has only been with women and has no attraction to standard men but who is really turned on by the thought of a good-looking woman with a man's plumbing, so to speak. Not sure what that makes me, but it sure isn't one of the standard categories.

[whowhatwhen]

I hate to argue with my girl WWW but there is no way a dude who is into other dudes is straight regardless of how they're dressed.

It is true however that most gay guys 99% are NOT into CD's and there is definitely a grey area but "straight" ain't got no grey in it.

I was waiting for you to show up...
;)

I don't doubt the not straight angle, but I'm just uncomfortable with someone being assigned as gay.
Hits a bit too close to home I guess, not that they were wrong but still...

:)

[Beverley Sims]

I like Melissa's analogy here.
I am sure I am straight these days.
The only "Gaytime" I know and like is an ice cream on a stick.

[Wildaboutheels]

The simple answer is to pick whatever label YOU like the best. You obviously have dozens of responses to pick from. Who is your favorite poster? Did he or she chime in? Would that make them more right than the other posters? Some say yes and some say no and some say maybe.

So WHO is right?

Worrying about labels is a waste of time. Isn't it?

You, like everyone here, like what you like. Choosing a label for yourself doesn't make what you "like" or might enjoy, wrong or right.

And let's be realistic. Asking the folks here at this Forum to agree on a label of ANY kind?

As far as shoes. Pretty simple. They go on the ends of legs. You don't see/won't see many legs displayed here in flats. This is no accident. Just Evolution at work. Men's vision. Simple as that...

[Lynn Marie]

I'm powerfully attracted to women and find a man's form pretty unattractive. Maybe that's part of my motivation to dress. That said, I do love the idea of a man getting excited about me in drag. So I guess that just makes me confused? Not really, I know myself pretty well and I'm done questioning my own sexuality. I'm just enjoying it.

[Marleena]

To the OP, it sounds like you have already decided to have sex with a CDer so why the heck does it matter what you're labeled as? The majority of us are open minded and don't really care what anybody does or what their sexual persuasion is. What two people ( or more) do sexually in the privacy of their home does not concern me.

[Ressie]

OK, if I have sex with a guy that has a vagina am I straight, gay or? Some CDs are so good at female impersonation that they will be attractive to any straight man. But a truly hetero man would be disgusted when the wrong organ is discovered. However, (if I'm not mistaken) a true homosexual just can't get excited about vaginas. So, many of us seem to be somewhere in the spectrum of that gray area.

My experience is limited but let me just add that some people (either gender) are great when it comes to sex and some aren't. If your first experience with another CD isn't that good, you may assume it was all better as fantasy. But if the sex was fantastic, that's another story...

[Wildaboutheels]

Rent "The Crying Game". I have a feeling it will make you feel a lot better about yourself.

Excellent movie [IMO] that should be required watching for any Human over the age of 10. At least for any Humans willing to pull their heads from the sand and their fingers out of their ears long enough to watch it.

[Jenniferathome]

OK, if I have sex with a guy that has a vagina am I straight, gay or? .

or. you are confused because you just had sex with a woman! Men don't have vaginas. Men have a penis. You must have missed that day in sex ed.

[Lacyfem]

I've asked this of myself too and this is why this site is wonderful. I've had sex with men several times when dressed and find it some of the best sex I've every had but did the first few times come away confused. I've never gone into a sex session dressed as a man but always as the woman I like to be. That said though a few of the men were gay and in time during our being together, kissing, drinking etc they would undress me little by little which is very exciting. With them when the consumate moment came I was fully naked and it was man on man. Does this make me gay? My allowing them to take all my fem things off may have been just for the moment but I always enjoyed it so yes I do believe I would be labeled as gay though quite closeted as both gay and a cd. The label doesn't bother me anymore in that I know who I am.

[CindyM]

If you gotta pick a label, then yes your gay. That's a good thing right.

[whowhatwhen]

or. you are confused because you just had sex with a woman! Men don't have vaginas. Men have a penis. You must have missed that day in sex ed.

I think she means an FtM TS.
If you're attracted to his looks as a man then yes, you could very well be gay.

...You know what, this is so wrong.
I DECLARE ALL OF US GAY FOREVER!
NOW EVERYONE CAN BE HAPPY!

[Jenniferathome]

I think she means an FtM TS.


A FTM TS is a woman. Whether from birth or constructed, if someone has a vagina, they are female.

[whowhatwhen]

A FTM TS is a woman. Whether from birth or constructed, if someone has a vagina, they are female.

Wow.
Just plain wow.

*sits back*
*grabs popcorn*

[Tracii G]

I don't consider myself as gay most of the time but I do love the male form for what it is.
If I am in all out femme mode I do look at guys. 50/50 mode not so much.I love the female form too either mode I'm in.
As some here know I am dating a guy right now and he is truly a wonderful person and I am sexually attracted to him.
Haven't had sex with him yet but I could see it happening.Having sex with women is not something I really want to do, been there done that.

[mona lisa]

It sounds to me as if you are trying to find a way of having sex with a CD and still try to tell yourself you are straight. Look at this logically, you are a man and would be having sex with another man, right? How can you do that and still with a straight face consider yourself purely heterosexual? The clothes worn are not some magic garments that change these realities however much one may wish otherwise.

So having clarified those points, would you as a CD having sex with another CD mean you are gay? Maybe. Presumably you would still find attraction to women sexually, yes? If so and you are ordinarily as a man wanting to have sex with women but finding yourself in some instances wanting to have sex with another man (with the two of you dressed as women), then the most likely answer is you are bisexual.

[Ressie]

I think she means an FtM TS.
If you're attracted to his looks as a man then yes, you could very well be gay.

...You know what, this is so wrong.
I DECLARE ALL OF US GAY FOREVER!
NOW EVERYONE CAN BE HAPPY!

Correct. I was trying to clarify by looking at the opposite of the OP's question. I was actually trying to solidify Jennifer's view but she didn't get it. There are women that have the appearance of a man and men that appear to be women. I had a fling with a girl that had some masculine characteristics but I would have preferred her to be more feminine.

[Lynnmorgan451]

this thread is so vastly entertaining!! Now for two cents..... So I've been asked if I am gay MULTIPLE times by my SO as recent as this morning, which comes as a surprise considering we had an awesomely romantic sexual experience last night. But still the question remains.. "Are you gay? Cuz if you are, you need to tell me!!" Ok, since shes not watching I'll go ahead and say NO...lol....I don't qualify. I do not find men attractive, sexually. I can appreciate a good looking man but its all due to ratios and bilateral symmetry, right? Have I ever looked at a man and thought " wow I'd sure like to get naked with that guy" ? no...Sorry guys. I just don't. Y'all don't give me the warm tinglies like sexy women do... Now on the subject of finding CDs attractive, oh yeah....I've seen some GORGEOUS CDs that really pass and look hot as hell, but when it all comes down to, "would I?" If the situation presented itself with one of these beautiful men emulating beautiful women, I'd have to pass. But nevertheless, I am a flirt, and would definitely do that! In my opinion, a girl with a penis is a man dressed as a girl, which is one of my MAIN PROBLEMS..I look at myself and am disgusted by what I see, dangling awkwardly between my legs. I'm a dude :( My brain is a girl, but my body is a dude (for now) ...... What about post op girls? Would it make you gay if you knew she used to be a man?? -->NO<-- because SHE USED TO BE a man...and through CORRECTIVE surgery has been cured. :)

[Lorileah]

I will reference to AvenueQ and "If you were gay" You are what you are, you make that call.


And Purple and Jsunic...get a room. :heehee:

[Shelly Preston]

A FTM TS is a woman. Whether from birth or constructed, if someone has a vagina, they are female.

Sorry Jennifer, But a Female to Male Transexual is a man trapped in the wrong body

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Why over analyze this so much? I'm not gay if I'm doing everyday activities. If I'm with a man I'm only gay for that moment. If I'm with my wife I'm straight for that moment. If I'm doing the dishes, typing here, doing yard work, buying lawn fertilizer, or brushing my teeth, then what am I?

Labels about sexuality are only good for those who A--want to classify themselves, and B--for those who find a need to classify others.

The only labels we should care about are those we have to read to know what we have such as any product or the size of our clothes.

I classify myself as a member of the human race, warts and all.

Cheryl Ann

[Jenniferathome]

Sorry Jennifer, But a Female to Male Transexual is a man trapped in the wrong body

Shelly, you misread the argument. that is UNTIL the body is made right. That was the gist of the debate here, that a biological man had had SRS, "...a man with a vagina...". not a pre-op or other gender dysphoric.

[AllyCDTV]

Why over analyze this so much?
Because that's what we do on this forum. :D

Questions similar to this come up so often, they should be combined into one sticky thread.

To the OP, here are your answers:


Yes
No
Maybe

By now you may have come to the conclusion that none of us are qualified to definitively answer your question. Just pick the answer you like best, if you must, and run with it.

If you like having sex with another crossdresser while both of you are dressed than do it. It really doesn't matter if you are straight, gay or something in between. Enjoy life. It is too short to worry about such things.

[Anneliese]

I agree with the poster who said "watch "The Crying Game". Is there anyone here posting who hasn't seen it? Immediately stop what you're doing and acquire it and watch it. That movie showed me, for the first time, how I was different from most. Needless to say, I had no idea what the twist was when I saw it, and it has/and will remain a benchmark for who I am.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0qVhhIfWr4

(SPOILER ALERT!)

I was enraptured by Dil just as the lead character was. When the big moment came, he freaked out. I would have continued on, excited as hell. The closest I have come to outing myself involves this movie. I have told my daughter and all my girlfriends since seeing the movie in its first run that had that happened to me, I would have carried on...happily and excitedly. Without question.

(My daughter also knows my favorite movie in the last twenty years is "Hedwig and the Angry Inch")

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Ally
Because that's what we do on this forum. :D

Questions similar to this come up so often, they should be combined into one sticky thread.

To the OP, here are your answers:


Yes
No
Maybe

By now you may have come to the conclusion that none of us are qualified to definitively answer your question. Just pick the answer you like best, if you must, and run with it.

If you like having sex with another crossdresser while both of you are dressed than do it. It really doesn't matter if you are straight, gay or something in between. Enjoy life. It is too short to worry about such things.

Ally, THANK YOU! I don't know why there has to be so much obsession over this topic where anyone needs to find definition and a label. BE YOURSELF! I detect some insecurity here. I feel very secure myself, won't put a label on myself, and will let the winds of my GID fill my sails and take me anywhere into any safe port! I'd rather worry about makeup, mannerisms, passing, and presentation to feel confident walking into my dentists office without him knowing it's really that ugly guy he knows! Sheesh!

Cheryl Ann

[Anneliese]

Here is the correct Youtube video:

NuItUNFw07g

[flatlander_48]

We seem to be missing a point here. So far jsunic hasn't done anything yet. All this is really just idle speculation until there is an encounter.

[ReineD]

Usually when people ask if they're gay when they want to have sex with a man while dressed, I suggest this is about fanning the CDing fantasy of being a woman (an attraction to oneself as a woman) more than actually being attracted to a man. A gay attraction is defined by two men who are mutually attracted to one another.

I don't know the label for two men dressed as women who enjoy being with each other. I suppose it depends on the motives. You also mention a fetish for shoes, and so I don't know if your primary attraction is to the self or an object rather than men or women particularly.

But the biggest hint in your OP is that you were always uncomfortable with the vagina. Fundamentally, heterosexual men really like vaginas. This is rather primordial. If you are attracted to women, it might be for different reasons than men who are sexually attracted to women and who define themselves as heterosexual. For example, you might feel a deep respect and kinship with women, more like a best friend or sister than a lover. And if you prefer grinding maybe you look at your sexual organ in the same way that women see theirs.

Last, if you are transsexual - if you feel as if you have the wrong body and your penis means nothing to you (it is rather something that you'd like to get rid of), if you feel as if you are internally a woman, then if you're attracted to men as a woman you are not gay. It is not the same as being attracted to men as a male.

Whatever you are though, it's all OK as long as you embrace it and don't try to be someone that you're not, especially with someone else and most especially in a romantic relationship.

[KateSpade83]

People can get confused and be inadvertantly gay if they are attracted to beautiful passable ******** and they have sex with that. Some straight men still think they're straight if they get oral from a ******* or crossdresser, but ultimately, if it has a penis then that makes it a gay act.

[whowhatwhen]

People can get confused and be inadvertantly gay if they are attracted to beautiful passable ******** and they have sex with that. Some straight men still think they're straight if they get oral from a ******* or crossdresser, but ultimately, if it has a penis then that makes it a gay act.

Some of our MtF TS members must be thrilled to know that they're all just gay, you know, because of the penis and all.
Penises mean NOTHING!

There is a matter of motive in wanting to have sex with someone who is TG only because of the penis, but such broad painting of all straight men is simply wrong.
Hell, it takes a lot for me to defend straight men too.

Unless you can look at a guy in his natural state and be physically attracted to him and see him as a potential life partner then it's impossible for you to be gay.
The only exception is if you're repressing it, but that's up to the person to work out and believe me labeling them is not going to help them along.

[MsJanessa]

some are really passable and LOOKS HOT!! Can another question also be answered? why do i find womens shoes sexually attractive? that was always my sexual preference and i was always unconfortable with the vagina, but MMMM I love to cuddle and just grind.

Does it make a difference?

[docrobbysherry]

1. If u r a GM and u r attracted to and like to play with penises, you're PROBABLY gay and/or bi.

2. If u r a GF and r attracted to and like to play with vaginas, you're PROBABLY lesbian.

Personally, even tho I find some vaginas not very attractive, I always have enjoyed the peripheral benefits of them.:)

And, while I find MANY dressers attractive, I dislike penises to the extent that, if Sherry sees even mine, we're done!:sad:

[danielletorresani]

I have zero interest in men, though I would LOVE to try an experience with a sexy, passable CD. I don't at all consider myself gay, though I understand how some would. I love women, and if a CD looks like a woman, I'm game to try it out and have a hot time doing so!

[Badtranny]

I don't at all consider myself gay,!

Nah sucking **** is not gay at all. Plenty of straight guys do it.

[whowhatwhen]

You don't get gay from that, what you really have to look out for is catching it from a toilet seat.
The one time I didn't disinfect...

Some say it's best to catch it early before it becomes more serious later on with more potential complications.
I've heard of gay toilet seat parties wh---

Nevermind, this isn't going anywhere good.
O_O

[Lorileah]

. A gay attraction is defined by two men who are mutually attracted to one another.

I don't know the label for two men dressed as women who enjoy being with each other. I would say the first line answers the second line. Seems that when the clothes are off...it is two men. But maybe I have been doing it wrong?



Last, if you are transsexual - if you feel as if you have the wrong body and your penis means nothing to you (it is rather something that you'd like to get rid of), if you feel as if you are internally a woman, then if you're attracted to men as a woman you are not gay. It is not the same as being attracted to men as a male. I feel better now :) But wait! I like women too! So I still have gay feelings?

As you said, there is a HUGE line between reality and fantasy with this thread

[PaulaQ]

I feel better now :) But wait! I like women too! So I still have gay feelings?


Well, you could always pick the "bisexual" label, and then you are kind of covered whoever stuff happens with...

[whowhatwhen]

Let's all just stop having sex.
Problem solved.

[ReineD]

I would say the first line answers the second line. Seems that when the clothes are off...it is two men. But maybe I have been doing it wrong?

Sorry, I should have specified. I meant, I don't know the label for two genetic males dressed as women who want to have sex together. One of them might see herself as a transwoman and might be pre-op. So it gets complicated since each of the genetic males might fall anywhere along the entire spectrum.

[Amanda M]

Actually, who cares? Labels, labels and more labels!

[ReineD]

Let's all just stop having sex.
Problem solved.

No. Just go out and enjoy sex, but be honest with your sexual partners about who and what you enjoy and also how you identify. I'm saying this for the benefit of CDers who have all these internal questions, but who might turn around and enter into a long-term relationship with a GG without disclosing any of it.

We get too hung up in threads like this one about finding the appropriate word that describes our sexuality. Instead, we should just say WHO or WHAT we are attracted to, together with saying WHAT GENDER we see ourselves. This would eliminate all the label wars. :p

I'll go first:

I am a genetic female, I identify as a woman, and up until I met my SO I was attracted strictly to genetic males who identified as men. However, now I am attracted to my SO who is a genetic male, who sometimes presents as a female, and who identifies as dualgender.

See how easy that is? So then I can allow the person to whom I have chosen to divulge this information, to assign any label they want to me. The importance is, they will know who I am and who I am attracted to.

[MsJanessa]

Actually, who cares? Labels, labels and more labels!

Ditto--I find this kind of thread pointless---who really cares about labels like gay or straight---I refuse to define myself with who I like to have sex with.

[Anneliese]

Personally, I think this thread is great. For one thing, it's a serious discussion. For another, it's continued for several days. Too many threads get a couple of responses and rapidly disappear (many deserve it...lol) I agree that labels are dumb, but so many, both here and...out there...label others. I think it's safe to say nobody posting here would be considered "normal" by standard society's label, however, what is "normal" exactly? After a disastrous marriage and several standard hetero relationships following, I have pretty much decided I'm going celibate for the rest of my life unless someone truly different strikes my fancy. Why do the same things over and over? Am I seeking a relationship with a passing CD/TS? No. Would I rule it out? No more than I would rule out a relationship with another woman. They are of equal interest in my mind. The only relationship I would rule out would be with a standard-presenting male. No interest whatsoever.

[Leighcdmd]

Society is all to quick to label us. Let's stop worrying about labeling ourselves. Enough already.

[Jenniferathome]

Nah sucking **** is not gay at all. Plenty of straight guys do it.

Geeze Melissa, not if you have a dress on. Dresses are magical. Duh!

[Lorileah]

Nah sucking **** is not gay at all. Plenty of straight guys do it.

thanks Melissa for making my job here so easy ;) Couldn't you candy coat that statement a little? You know drive a race car doesn't make you a race car driver, put out one fire doesn't make you a fireman but have sex with a man one time and you are gay for life.

Thank goodness for filters :)

[Jaymees22]

In this alternate universe we are in I think anything should be considered just sex, not gay sex or straight sex, just sex. I'm sure most of the sexual feelings created here or on the internet in general ends up being the DIY kind. Doesn't everyone have a shoe fetish? Well this is my 2 cents...Hugs Jaymee

[whowhatwhen]

thanks Melissa for making my job here so easy ;) Couldn't you candy coat that statement a little? You know drive a race car doesn't make you a race car driver, put out one fire doesn't make you a fireman but have sex with a man one time and you are gay for life.

Thank goodness for filters :)

Do they call me "Angus the bridge builder"?

[Amanda M]

I think some of us must be trisexual - we'll try anything!

[jsunic_1978]

ok, I lust like to HUMP INSTEAD unfourtantally women cant STAND THAT i dont like to penetrate! think i will look for a good looking female transgender that has kaped her penius :)

[Lorileah]

OK, I like sarcasm and subtle humor as much as anyone but this thread is getting too far out. Lets get back on track or it is done

[Ressie]

some are really passable and LOOKS HOT!! Can another question also be answered? why do i find womens shoes sexually attractive? that was always my sexual preference and i was always unconfortable with the vagina, but MMMM I love to cuddle and just grind.

OK back on track. Yes I agree they look hot. Next, many men have a shoe fetish. Probably has something to do with your environment during childhood. And for the 'uncomfortable with vagina' part I can't relate. Are you gay? Sounds like it but a sex therapist may be able to give a better answer.

[PaulaQ]

ok, I lust like to HUMP INSTEAD unfourtantally women cant STAND THAT i dont like to penetrate!

Well, I think it would be fair for a woman who's having sex with you to ask "OK, but what's in it for me?"

You might consider consulting a sex therapist, if you like women, not being comfortable with vaginas could well affect your relationships with women. There's really no reason to be uncomfortable around them, they are one of the best body parts ever, and many of us want one of our own, in fact.

I think it would do you good to discuss your issue with a therapist. In the end, you might decide "eh, I just like guys anyway", which is perfectly fine of course. But you may well learn stuff about yourself, and perhaps this discomfort isn't something you need to feel at all, at least if it causes you any problems.

[jsunic_1978]

if i liked guys, GET IT STRAIGHT... OK EVREYONE??? Why would i be attracted to other dressers that look like women and transgender? why wouild i be playing with womens shoes asnd also, i wouldnt have the PULL towards womens clothes nor attracted to ANYTHING FEMALE PEROID.

[whowhatwhen]

Long story short:
We can't tell you, in fact, no one can.

It's something that you have to have an honest discussion with yourself about.
Hell, I went through the same sort of thing until I opened up more and discovered through self-analysis and examination that I can in fact find guys physically attractive.

Even if you don't find yourself to be gay then don't worry about it.
The only real problem some of us have is that people tend to run to "(NOT GAY)" as if being gay were a bad thing.

Plus some of us like dick jokes, so there's that too.
:P

[jsunic_1978]

I learn more about my self just listening to evreyone here and ITS A BIG HELP. amd sorry I got nasty earlier. I do know one thing, it takes a heck of A LOT TO GET A WOMAN! In guy mode, just nice clothes a smile, small talk NEVER GETS A WOMAN INTERESTED, THATS IT.! I dont want to put in the time nor effort and play the GAME, MANULIPATE, ETC ETC. thats exactally what it takes if we havent attendend the same school district long enough growing up, where GOD just picks somebody for us.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I'm getting really tired of this thread! I can be anything! I'm not going to put any kind of label on myself! I am married to a genetic female who has allowed me to explore ALL of my sexuality. In my mind I feel I am a woman so that makes my wife and I lesbians. Should I find a guy attractive ennough to want him to overpower and make love to me, it may happen. Let's get over this stuff of labels and just go on! The only labels I care about are on my clothing! Let's get over this!

Cheryl Ann

[jsunic_1978]

99 percent of women are NOT ACCEPTING Im also on here (single) because this site isnt a meet market and I like intelligent conversation and I think networking on here can help with a lot of other areas and help self teaching. hoiwever, most women are accepting that we do what we do and thats aboit it, but never will understand in the bedroom, all the stuff COMES OFF LOL :)

[LoriFlores]

As I eluded to in my last post I think it is a continuum based on where we fit in the transgender spectrum. This may be influenced by hormonal levels. I consider myself a pre-op and pre-HRT MTF transsexual. I currently find women most attractive sexually, does this make me a lesbian or heterosexual? I also find the thought of oral sex on a penis attractive but would much prefer a CD or pre-op TS. So where do I fit in the continuum now? I still think "bi-curious".

[Lorileah]

This has gone so far off topic with sex games and fetishes that it is done.