How do you see women?

[FelicityMay]

Ever since I've started to get into the mindset of being a crossdresser, I have started to look at them differently.

Most guys will look at a beautiful girl and think "I want to make love to that"
I'm starting to see them and think "I want to look like that"

I think I can safely say that putting myself in their shoes, I am actually starting to respect women more as a whole. And I am seeing them less and less as an object, like a lot of guys see them as.

It reminds me of the Jessica Who video, where he talks about being a straight guy who cross dresses. it gives you a whole new perspective!

I was just wondering if you view women differently with this as a part of you?

[Wildaboutheels]

I see them as equals for the most part if not clearly superior in some regards except overall they are generally much weaker strength wise. Which they easily make up for with "charm".

Having been married more than once, I fully realize all the effort required by most to "look good". But they ARE from another planet make no mistake about it. They [most] certainly don't see the way men do, nor do they think the same way which is usually a good thing.

You are a sharp cookie for one so young Felicity. I think you will see as you get older that "good looking women" are a dime a dozen but that beauty is way more than skin deep. But that's the thing that makes men, men. It's so very easy for men to fall all over themselves for a "beautiful" woman. Add in a "great" body and you have the simple formula for how so many famous/rich men so often allow their little head to do all the thinking.

I highly recommend the Mars/Venus book if you haven't read it. It might not make your life any easier but at least it will teach you the fundamentals of what makes women tick. It might even help in your "presentation" as female if you want to fit in with the ladies.

[Lynn Marie]

Your thoughts are a recurring thread on this forum. It's pretty much agreed that we all feel like you about the women we see.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I too feel a very strong envy to be a woman and become part of their "inner circle" by being among women. I feel I am one and treat women as equal to me and not as an object. I've always felt like that and the feeling is stronger especially when I see a pregnant woman because that to me is the ultimate symbol of womanhood.

Cheryl Ann

[Jessica86]

My wife hates me because I can see more imperfections on women. Most guys won't see smudges in a woman's eye shadow or applying too much lipstick out of the corner of their mouth. LOL. I have even gone as far as "What are you looking at?" "That girl's shoes were a few sizes too small." Yeah, she hates that, but then again, likes it knowing I'm not looking at girls just to check them out.

[Jessica_M]

I so agree with your observations... I've been secretly crossdressing from a very early age, and I know that it has affected how I perceive and interact with women.. I interact easily, but those that trigger admiration in me put me in awe... I am particularly amazed at mannerisms. Their mannerisms are not studied.. so natural and graceful in their movements, but at the same time are unique. They are truly from another planet... one that I would love to visit. We are so blessed that they are in our lives.

[~Joanne~]

I always make note of what another female is wearing. Last night I was walking into a hotel, keep it clean I was there on business lol, and a very pretty girl and her ??? were walking out and the first thing I took notice of were the heels she was wearing. Very sexy peep toed sling backs. She had a very pretty dress on also which was a really light summer like material. The only thought that I had was "she should be wearing hosiery with that" as it's still on the cold side here, especially at night.

Her ??? gave me a smile like "yeah I have the hottest woman on the planet" and if he read my look back, which I doubt he did, it said "you needed to dress a bit better because you look like a bum" lol Overall though I try to treat everyone in this world as an equal. When it does come to women though I do tend to critique their outfits and overall appearance rather than look at them as sexual objects.

[Kate Simmons]

I've always viewed everyone for who they are as a person for the most part regardless of plumbing. Getting to know who they are a person is has always been my primary goal as that is the person I can relate to and respect.:)

[bridget thronton]

I have learned to see the beauty in all people (I try to ignore any "imperfections" unless asked to comment on them)

[carhill2mn]

Felicity, for many more years than you have been alive I have been appreciating feminine beauty. After noticing the woman I look at what she is wearing. If what she is wearing is attractive, I then imagine what it would be like to wear what she is wearing.

[Brynna M]

I don't really know how I would think of women without being a crossdresser. I've always at least had the inclination. The one difference it makes is that I have a little better understanding of what it takes to look good.

I agree with Wildaboutheels. I respect women but I do not understand them.

[Asche]

As far as "understanding women" goes, I find women, on the average, a lot easier to understand than men. To me, it's the overwhelming majority of men (including the majority of men in the forum) who seem to come from another planet. Especially growing up among males, I felt like I was living in a cage full of yearling tigers.

As for "how I see women": mixed.

Part of me sees them as a way to meet my needs. (No surprise: we live in a culture which sees pleasing men and meeting their needs as the only purpose for women's existence.)

But I also see them as people I enjoy being with. (One could see this as "meeting my needs", I suppose.) If you take the trouble to get to know women as individuals, and don't act like a jerk (or at least make a good-faith effort not to be one), most are pretty nice to deal with -- to work with, be friends with, be neighbors with, etc.

This may be largely due to socialization (the "be nice -- or else" message that women grow up with), but maybe that's not such a bad thing. Western society could do worse than to socialize everybody (male and female) to be kind and accommodating by default, as opposed to raising half the human race to be selfish, domineering, and aggressive.

By contrast, I never feel safe around groups of men. I always feel like I'm at a keg party with a bunch of scorpions.

[DebbieL]

Ever since I've started to get into the mindset of being a crossdresser, I have started to look at them differently.

I'm transsexual, so I have always seen girls differently from other guys.


Most guys will look at a beautiful girl and think "I want to make love to that"

I'm a lesbian, so I still like to think about making love to a beautiful woman, especially if she's dressed in a modest satin blouse or soft sweater, skirt, hose, and heels.
Even before I knew about sex, I used to dream about being dressed as a girl and kissing another girl. Like two barbie dolls.


I'm starting to see them and think "I want to look like that"

Yes, when I look at a woman, I am acutely aware of what she has chosen to wear, how she has done her hair, her jewelry, even her scent.
At the same time, I am also looking beyond the looks to see who the woman is as a person. Is she selfish? Does she make others wait for her?
Does she respect others? Does she remember their names? Does she look waitresses in the eyes as she places her order?
What does she talk about? Does she get excited about some way to serve her community or help her friends? Or does she complain a lot?

Because of the amount of trust required for me to share my most intimate secrets and desires with a woman,
I want to make sure that this is someone I can trust, someone who is a friend,


I think I can safely say that putting myself in their shoes, I am actually starting to respect women more as a whole.

When you are out there in a skirt and heels, getting the looks from guys, having situations get a bit dicey from men who don't have manners,
you begin to appreciate how much courage it takes for a woman to wear an outfit like that. We share many common experiences with women
than "normal" men never experience.


I am seeing them less and less as an object, like a lot of guys see them as.

Is Jr High and High School, many of the boys assumed I was gay because I really KNEW the women they were talking about. I knew their desires, their ambitions, their interests, and who they were as human beings. I knew what they liked, and what they didn't like. Of course, I also knew that most of them wanted the "alpha" males rather than a femme boy like me. There were even times when I would learn that they had been molested by their step-fathers or other trusted men, or had been attacked by a boyfriend. I cared about them as people first. I realized that most of these guys had know idea what they were getting into. I became very good at matching couples up at parties.


It reminds me of the Jessica Who video, where he talks about being a straight guy who cross dresses. it gives you a whole new perspective!

Back in the 1990s, there was a treatment program for abusive men that required each male to let their girlfriends or spouses dress them up like women, as sexy as the girls wanted them to be. They had to shave, put on make-up, and look and act as much like girls as possible, and were not allowed to try to make it a joke. They had to do this for a week (excluding work), and by the end of the week, they had a whole new appreciation for how their behavior affected their women, and the courage it took for their women to dress to please them. More than 75% of the men in the program stopped their abusive behaviors, some even found they LIKED being able to show their softer side. Many even admitted, during follow-up therapy sessions that much of their violent and sexist behavior was to keep others from seeing them as "sissies" because they had been violently attacked as sissies when they were younger.


I was just wondering if you view women differently with this as a part of you?

I've always felt more affinity for women than men, and have often felt uncomfortable when in the company of too many "masculine" men.
When I was in grade school, the boys would beat me up for being a "sissy".
When I was in Jr High - I was accused of being a "fag" or "queer" - even though I had no desire for guys.
By the time I was in High school, I hung out mostly with the drama jocks and the choir, where gay and straight guys hung out together pretty much accepting each other and even joking with each other, and with the other girls. The girls even didn't mind changing in front of me, because they knew that even though I found them attractive, I wouldn't do anything unless they wanted me to, and told me so in so many words.

In college, I went to school with 900 women and 25 men, and it took them about 3 months to figure out that I was at least a transvestite. I even told a few girls that I envied Christine Jorgansen and Rene' Richards.

[flatlander_48]

How do you see women?

Usually with eyeballs and sometimes with my Mind's Eye. However, always with respect...

[MarinaKirax]

Nope, nothing fundamental about my relationship with females is changed by my dressing. I sometimes can switch modes when a woman has an outfit that really pops, or if she struts her stuff in a feminine way, or if she just looks like she's cuddling up and enjoying being a woman - then I see myself in her - or the vision of myself that I am attracted to. Otherwise, I'm just as likely to wolf whistle as the next guy. :)

[Barbara Maria]

I love women.I put them on a pedistal.Always have.Even when I was a young man,I couldn't think of them as sex objects,even when I tried to.Maybe that's why I was never much of a stud.I was never very good at making love unless it was someone I was IN love with.I've always had the greatest respect for women of quality.And,like you,Felicity,even more so since I've been emulating a woman.Barbara

[marny]

years ago I was on a flight from Hawaii to Vancouver. there were two girls traveling together, both hot. Maybe I was already there but this blonde girl made my heart ache. I would have given almost anything to be her for a weekend.....or more . years ago and I can still see her/ me. :wall:

[AmandaM]

Depends on my mood. If I'm mostly feeling male, I'm as much wolf as any guy. If I'm feeling female, I check out what they're wearing, how they're acting/walking, etc. and usually get extremely jealous that I'm not them.

[Dora]

Before I came on crossdresser.com I finally accepted that I have a feminine side, I have a high pitched voice and other female characteristics which really shine when i am on a dance floor, the way I view women is for example if I am having a conversation with a woman I just keep on her level instead of being on a level of a male, I have noticed that since accepting my female side its been alot more easier for me to talk to women

[Asche]

I love women.I put them on a pedistal.
Putting women on a pedestal is classic sexism. It is about control and about reducing a person to an object. And it carries an implied threat to a person who tries to get off the pedestal. Cf. Madonna/w----e complex (the website won't let me spell it out.) To the extent it's about "love", it's in the sense of "I love hamburgers." (Or Henry V's "I love France!" speech in Shakespeare's play.)

In fact, I'd say this thread has the highest sexism content of any thread I've seen in this forum yet. Which is saying a lot.

[Edited to add:]

"Benevolent sexism" (look it up), but sexism nonetheless. And the more insidious for seeming "benevolent."

[Amanda M]

Glad to see you are growing up, Felicity - women are NOT a "that"! Strangely enough, they are just people.

[noeleena]

Hi,

No different than i see myself, yes granted im a bit different maybe a plank or two missing im still a female i can make fun of myself i dont mind at least i can laugh at myself just i dont get to serouse about myself thats all. ,

We all have differences regardless of what they are, the clothes are nice yet thats not all about what we as women are, i see the personality the atrubutes the funside why we are the way we are, the bond we have how we engage with each other, we have a closeness that you cant see yet you feel it, we have a deeper relastionship with each other that transends any thing i know of i really dont think words would cover what it is about us, i just know its there,

Its not about how we look or what we are dressed in we have a sence of feeling that does not need you to see with your eyes .

oh dear sorry guy's i can just feel you saying what the hell am i on......open your eyes , yes there is a difference i know if i said this to some guys i know they would look at me sideways & say iv lost the plot.... na they'r okay , they just are guy's,

...noeleena...

[Michelle (Oz)]

I look at how women are dressed, how they put combinations of colour, texture and patterns together. How they accessorise. Lots of good learning. I do tend to look at younger GGs - my dressing age hasn't caught up to my biological age.

I also have gained an additional perspective on women by watching where men are looking. Some look at breasts; others look at the bottom. Not surprisingly, I get picked as male by few men - they are too busy looking elsewhere. I now understand that men (including me sometimes) are not subtle.

[Karren H]

My view of women hasn't change because I like to wear the same clothes as they do! and I certainly don't respect them more because I like to dress like them.... matter of fact I really don't respect anyone unless they earn my respect.... and just being 50% of the population and wearing dresses and heels doesn't even register on my respect-o-meter!

[Beverley Sims]

"I want to make love to that"
If I stopped thinking like this I would be dead from the waist down.
"I want to look like that"
I would be dead from the waist up.
This was my view years ago, it is more tempered now.
As for respect, if you mean demeaning women well I have never been into that.

Militant women:
When I met a staunch female believer of any stance, who wishes to force her beliefs on me, all respect withers away completely.
Respect is a two way street and I like to think we appreciate each others qualities..

[stephyX]

i have more respect now than i did before i dressed more often,il look at how they dress see if i can pull it off :P but also admire them the same as i always have.

[Vanessa5]

I have always viewed women in a different light. I liked the way they dressed. I enjoy seeing their fasion and trying to either duplicate or get as close as I can to looking the same. I like to see the way a skirt flows around them and how a good fitting blouse moves.

[julia marie]

" I certainly don't respect them more because I like to dress like them." Karren, I think I have more respect for them since I've gotten more into dressing, and I realize what it takes to get ready in the morning, and to stay good looking all day. Makeup, the right matches in terms of clothes, the right shoes, keeping the hair in place, shaving where guys don't, staying warm on a cold day... They seem to make it seem easy and natural. I'm also jealous of them because they have had so many clothing options all these years when I've had choices limited to things like polo vs oxford shirt, jeans vs khakis, and shoes vs sneakers (usually with sox). I might try to look like them and act like them, but I still love to look at them.