Wondering and Confused

[Bonnie Stone]

First off I have to say that this is the best Forum I have ever been a part of , Love it here, now to the question for all. When I started crossdressing my main goal was to dress as a woman and hopefully blend in with the crowds, Now this did,nt come to me until yesterday while I was sitting in the Walmart parking lot. I started watching people as they were coming in and out of Walmart, especially the ladies. Now this is what I started thinking, most of the ladies wore clothes ranging from PJ's or lounging pants, to dresses, and 99 percent of them were modestly dressed. That's what I wanted when I started Cd'ing, to be modestly dressed and be able to go out and just blend in without drawing a lot of attention to myself. Girls here where I noticed the change, I have visited many sites about crossdressers and seeing the pics of them, instead of dressing modestly and trying to blend, most are wearing the shortest skirts and dresses I have ever seen, and to me if u are dressing that way, u are not trying to blend, you are purposely drawing attention to yourself, and I prob sure if you are not truly passible, most people who see this , will start to talk and point their nasty little fingers. Girls , what I'm trying to say is, why to most men who dress as women, dress as ****ty as they can, knowing it only draws attention to them, because honestly women just don't dress that way, I hope I haven't upset anyone, but this has been bothering me and I just had to vent, My main goal is to be able to dress and one day be passible in public, and to me that means being able to blend in, and enjoy every minute of it, Thanks girls for listening, Bonnie

[Lorileah]

I am going to guess you are asking why most "other" sites show TGs (CDs) in minis and less??? Because those other sites are looking for hook ups usually. Here the focus less on sex.

[boink]

Ultimately everyone has different motivations and interests when it comes to their own dressing choices. Not everyone is just dressing to go out shopping.

If your goal is to blend in then you want to be aware and respectful of the context you are in. Short skirts, high heels, and makeup at the grocery store? Probably not, at a club, maybe more appropriate. I am sure there are plenty of crossdressers that simply enjoy playing up their own femininity as much as possible, some that simply dress for themselves at home, or only do go out to clubs or events where more provocative dress is acceptable. You also have to consider that at least some crossdressers showing off pictures to each other and/or others online may be intentionally playing up their attractiveness specifically to be sexy/provocative/etc.

For me, I'm happy to dress pretty normally/modestly because that's the presentation I enjoy, but I'm not about to stop others from dressing how they feel.

[Angela Campbell]

I think there are some here who want different things from their dressing. Some only like certain clothes items, some are more fetishistic, for some it is a sexual thrill, some want to look feminine and their tastes are a little more flamboyant than others. They are doing what they like and all get something different from it.

I am like you more or less, as I want to look like any other lady out doing her business. I do it fairly well. I am treated well when I am out. I am not your run of the mill crossdresser though as I would love to live this way all the time. I never went through the "sexy" phase. I know a lot of TG ladies and some really want to look like a normal female and some wear the clothes but the mannerisms are very manly and they do not care, some want to be sexy. To each her own.

[Jenniferathome]

I am going to guess you are asking why most "other" sites show TGs (CDs) in minis and less??? Because those other sites are looking for hook ups usually. Here the focus less on sex.

You are right on there, Lorileah, but I think the original post has a kernel of fact. From my limited time here, it does seem that the starting point for many cross dressers is "****ty." Perhaps it's access to clothes while in hiding? Is it that when the desire to go out that "blending" becomes important? Or are we on CD.com largely blenders who found a common kinship?

A cause and affect that we shan't resolve, I suppose.

[Bonnie Stone]

Thanks girls, all of you look awesome,

[Maria S]

It is hard enough to pass in public without adding to the equation drawing attention to ourselves dressing ****ty. We that blend in can happily get on with the feminine side of our lives without the added pressure of being sussed.

Maria

[Ceri Anne]

I have to admit, I have great legs, and enjoy my micro minis when the situation is right. It feels very sexy. I usualy try to dress stylish yet classy, and look to Kimberly Huddle for inspiration. That said, while I want to pass and fit in, most girls and women are in jeans and shorts with flip flops at best. Those in dresses in most places are rare and stand out even if modest. I think one of the reasons I dress, is I love how beautiful womens cloths are, and wish to look my best in them, enjoy the feel and the fashion. I often go out with GG friends who are in jeans, and almost always am dressed nicer then they are.

As for the "****ty" looking girls. I can only guess that they are trying to attract attention, but every now and again, it is fun to bring out your inner ****.

[Annaliese]

When I dress for picture, I dress up I want to look as good as I can, and as sexy as I can, When I go out, I will dress to blend in jeans nice blouse but I will not go with out my heels, or if I am going to dinner with a lot of sister, and going dancing later, I will dress up. To each there own.

[TeresaCD]

I think it's fair to say we all want to look as good as we can.
And if on an outing, dress to the context, as said before.
I am certain that some styles suit others better than others too.

[AllyCDTV]

I never go out in public and I am not looking for a hook up. I dress only in private, strictly to arouse myself at the sight of my image.

[Wildaboutheels]

Bonnie, I'm not sure it's productive to assume that "most" and certainly not all of the pics posted here are "outfits" for wearing out. Some here are quite happy in their closets and others will never leave their house because THEIR city is chock full of pitchfork wielding citizens blindly determined to exterminate every last CDer who dares to leave their house.

I ive in the land of perpetual skin [Florida] and rarely see even GGs dressed as you describe and never a CDer. And my city has more than it's fair share of Walmarts.

One other thing is that it is NOT the goal [nor the "duty"] of every CDer who goes out in public to attempt/need to "pass".

Is it?

[NicoleScott]

This reminds me of a Big Bang Theory episode in which Sheldon assembled his own friends (Zack, Barry, Stewart)for a get-together. It didn't last long, and when asked why his friends left, he replied "they were having fun wrong". You seem to think that some CDers are crossdressing wrong.
Bonnie, sometimes it is neither the goal to pass nor to draw attention, as you assert. Some of us like to dress as we do for our own pleasure, satisfaction, comfort, or other reasons. It is hypocritical for a CDer, a male who goes against the norm by wearing female clothing, to judge other CDers because they don't comform to your standards. You are certainly free to express yourself as you choose( vent, dress to be passable in public, etc.) but allow others to express themselves as they choose.

[julia marie]

I wouldn't sit outside Walmart to evaluate what women are wearing (or men). While the prices are good, the fashions worn by the shoppers aren't typical. There's a reason someone came up with the People of Walmart website. I'd suggest repeating the experiment outside a mid-priced restaurant or mall. I don't like ****ty anywhere, by the way. I think those other locations might offer a better view of what the average person -- man, woman, or CD -- is wearing. You are more likely to see women with basic skirts, sun dresses, slacks, shorts and jeans.

[Vanessa5]

If you notice (as stated above) many women dress according to how comfortable they want to be on a paticular day. Some dress just plain. When I dress there are times when all I want on are yoga pants and a top. Other times I like to dress to the nines. Depending on where I shop I have seen both my "styles" used.

[docrobbysherry]

I like to look attractive, even hot, when I dress. But, I dress like that at home, for me.

I HATE dressing to blend! Altho, when I go out, I take into consideration the venue I'm attending and try to dress accordingly. But, I DON'T LIKE TO!

The last thing I'd ever want to do is go out to a vanilla venue like a shopping center by myself, dressed. And, Walmart? I won't go there even in drab!

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Hi Bonnie

You are fortunate you can blend and I congratulate you for the guts it takes to go out in public. I will probably never pass and never go out in public, and that's just not important to me. For me crossdressing is about fantasy, and the movie in my head was always about hose and heels--not pole dancing style, but sort of late '80s, early '90s style which looked as good in the office as it did for an evening out. And there are still women that dress that way. My wife, gratefully, is one of them. Not ****ty in any way--she dresses classy but sexy, like most women used to dress but nowadays how too few take the time or trouble. And I see the looks when I take her out for dinner and/or dancing--the men are drooling and the women are catty--but she looks so good doing it they have nothing to say. She dresses that way because she likes it, not just because I encourage or appreciate it.

Think Kate Middleton on the conservative end of the spectrum, the gals on Fox news more risqué. That's the look I love and try to emulate. If I could ever really look that way, I would go out in public. For the foreseeable future, I can only achieve a weak partial semblance from the waist down. For now, that's enough to feed my head and it makes me happy.

Take care

Shibumi

[Nikki A.]

I have to disagree Bonnie. The majority of the girls that do out in public (not clubs or special events) and take pics are usually very nicely dressed. There are some who don't venture out and dress "****ty" because that is what they want. What they do at home is up to them and as long as they enjoy it more power to them.

[Lynnmorgan451]

I really just wish I could blend in with the s****y girls, honestly....but chances are I'm gonna go out to wal mart in something basic, but obviously feminine...even if I don't pass, I feel GGGGRRRRRRREEEAAAT!! Lol

[Bonnie Stone]

I really just wish I could blend in with the s****y girls, honestly....but chances are I'm gonna go out to wal mart in something basic, but obviously feminine...even if I don't pass, I feel GGGGRRRRRRREEEAAAT!! Lol

that's the way I feel when I go out, I was in the wally parking lots waiting for Burkes to open ..

[Being Paige]

When i go out I dress to blend in but I most always am in a knee length skirt with a blouse and heels, today I went to the local bar/ resturaunt and the waitress says to me, this is the first time I have ever seen you wear pants,they were jeans that I had just bought not to long ago and told her that I just had to wear them. I save dressing *****y for other times.

[Alice Torn]

I must admit, that when i first acquired my own lady clothes, and high heels, I really tried to show lots of legs, and hose, and sleeveless dresses, that were above the knee, and one skirt very short. The one day in my dressing career, when i was out for 12 hours, in a number of communities, i did look a bit like a hooker, and had some drivers honk, and shout things. Over time, i would only go out in fairly modest, but sexy dresses and skirts. At almost 59, i like that, but still will draw a ton of attention, because of being six foot ten in heels!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Bonnie, I can't imagine anyone wanting to blend in with the ( People Of WAL*MART ) .
A lot of us dress to please ourselves at home while some dress to blend in and those
that dress to go clubbing.
Bonnie, The only rule is that there are no rules.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I just got 2 pairs of jeans from Woman Within. They have a stretch waist to go over my belly which looks like I'm pregnant. (Wish I could enjoy that!) I plan to visit my local hometown Walmart and do some shopping wearing my new jeans and a conservative top once my wife hems my jeans. Something tells me I'll have no problem.

Cheryl Ann

[kimdl93]

The problem with gauging 'how GGs dress' by Walmart or any other place is that women dress differently for different situations and settings. I would guarantee that you'll see women dressed much differently at, say Ann Taylor, and perhaps differently at Coldwater Creek. Then watch women coming out of a nice restaurant. Different again. The key to passing or blending is to dress right for the situation and to pick styles that are flattering for your figure, coloring and age.

[Jamie001]

I don't know what it is about Walmart, but whenever I go there I usually see at least one GG dressed like a Hoochie Mama! I guess that look goes with the territory.

[UNDERDRESSER]

To those of you that dress, s****y, or like a hooker, or just a bit hotter than typical GGs out shopping, ( even if, or especially if you only do it at home ) do you think that you might not do so if men had an outlet for showing off their body in a physical way?

I have a theory that some CDers get into it because they feel that urge, but don't have an outlet for it as a male, given how males are expected to behave?

[AimeeG]

I HATE dressing to blend! Altho, when I go out, I take into consideration the venue I'm attending and try to dress accordingly. But, I DON'T LIKE TO!


Blending...might as well dress in D.R.A.B. (don't really actually belong)

[Tracii G]

I did all the risque sexy short skirts back when I started but got over that pretty quickly.It was a rush I won't deny that.
Was it me? not really I looked like a tramp to be honest and got more trouble than I wanted.
Some can pull it off and more power to them.
We all have our thing and thats fine with me.Whatever floats your boat hunny.

[Beverley Sims]

Bonnie when you visit Disneyland, go to Fantasyland.
Looking at CD's on websites are like Disneyland a bit, remember they are not always real.
Walmart car parks are more like reality TV. Just go one notch from the PJ's and trakkies/trekkies and blend in.
I advocate, jeans and top to look acceptable.
Skirt and hose is a bit up market.
If you have good hairless legs you can get away with a skirt and strappy shoes.
Oh! wear a top as well.

[Jaymees22]

I like to try different looks for my own amusement. Sometimes I'll dress way over the top and would never consider going out in one of these outfits. Other times I'll dress to blend and actually go out in the world but not too far out. Pick your battles wisely and wear the proper gear. Walmart probably not the best place to study fashion, go a little more upscale like Macys or Dillards. Jaymee

[EmilyPith]

I think it has to do with what you are after when you dress. If you just want to feel like a woman, maybe dressing in casual clothes is enough.
If you want to be the diva... well, glitter and lace it is.

I find that the longer I have to wait to be Emily, the more over the top I tend to get. (maybe this should be a new thread, if it isn't already). it's almost like a tic... the longer I have to wait, the more over the top I need to be.

Blending and being called ma'am (even though it makes me feel old) is usually exactly what I want. I just want to be that non-threatening, quiet, tallish woman in the back of the room. (with boat feet and ape hands.)