Identity...Crossdresser? transgender? ...I am so confused

[nolafeet]

So I am sure this is asked all the time as we begin to ... accept.

I recently within the last 2 weeks have made significant strides in my Crossdressing/transgender ...

Easter weekend, I went out the entire weekend as me - Mandi and was a nervous wreck but at the same time it was enthralling. This past Saturday, I went out and was confident and happy and it was great.

I hope to spend as much time as Mandi or a mix. I have no desire to do it always (I wish) - my life (daughter, work, etc) wouldn't really work with Mandi always.

So my question is in your opinion is a CD a transgender person? Yes, right?
Are CDs accepted as part of that group?

Its so confusing....

FYI I am bi and from new orleans. I have met a bunch of "queer" people these last few weeks and they are amazing.

(Saturday a bi girl randomly hit on me and made out w me at a dance club...First girl Mandi has kissed lol)

[Nikki A.]

I would say a CD is part of the transgender umbrella. Are we accepted? Yes and no, IMO I think that lesbians don't always trust us (wolf in sheep's clothing), gays may not have an interest and some TS feel that we don't always go far enough. But I've been treated well once they get to know me.
NOLA is a great city in that there is such a diverse culture there. Enjoy and don't worry about labels.

[PaulaQ]

So my question is in your opinion is a CD a transgender person? Yes, right?
Yes. TG is a blanket term for any of a number of gender identity issues.
Some would make a distinction between
- fetish cross dressers
- predominantly male identifying CDs

I think if you feel you have a feminine side, you'd certainly qualify as TG.

It's all pretty vague.

[Lynnmorgan451]

Easter weekend, I went out the entire weekend as me - Mandi.

I hope to spend as much time as Mandi or a mix. I have no desire to do it always (I wish)

Hmmmmmm............. I think this means something...... This is important.......... See where it says "ME" up there? And "I wish" ....? Ima thinkin you're not a cross dresser hunny....you talk like me :-p

[nolafeet]

Thanks for all your responses...

LynnMorgan - But the thing is I have a very Dominant male side in my daily life, especially work (though my toes are painted and I'm wearing panties) ... But I have always dreamed of being a girl.

Guess I should not worry about labels. But just trying to figure all this out.. Ha.. yae right...

Still haven't met any CDs.. a few Transexuals but I'm not "gay guy" acting as Mandi - like they were. I am feminine as Mandi! And for as long as I can remember I have preferred wearing girl shoes especially at home.. now that I can go out... Its amazing.

[Lynnmorgan451]

You sound awesome! Lol. The thing is, I'm not saying you should fall into any predetermined slot or anything. I hate labels....I hate the word hate too but that's a different subject. Ugh, anyway, I have a VERY masculine job and am always having to "overcompensate" ...but I have insecurity issues, so I try and act a little macho to cover up how I really wanna act...actually, the last year of my life, I have pretty much stopped the macho BS altogether cuz I'm to the point where I can't suppress ME anymore...I wear panties every day lol and painted toes as often as I can get away with, I'm married....but when you said " spent the whole weekend as ME" that's you! Gonna quote a song now... Hahaha
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like,
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think!
Love weezer.....yes...love...

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Let yourself evolve. Do what you feel is comfortable for you. If you feel good being dressed as a woman then do it. See how you feel. If it feels right for you then continue. You just might find there's the woman inside (you) begging to come out. You won't know until you try. So explore this part of you and see what happens! I feel great as a woman, and crappy as a man. I want to change that to realize and be the woman that I am. Just be yourself!!!

Cheryl Ann

[flatlander_48]

An identity is something that you evolve into. A label is something that you are given. In theory, if done correctly, you wind up at the same place. However, I'm much more comfortable with defining myself rather than have someone else do it for me.

But, the fact remains that we are ALL something. Some more this than that; others all of something else. When we allow someone else to define us, we relinquish that authority and some of the ability to be the person we should be.

[Tracii G]

Don't worry about the labels just be yourself and let it take you where it will as far a CDing goes.
I had the macho life and job for many years and I let it all go and centered of letting my girl side take over.
I'm a much better person for it.

[Jilmac]

I have always considered "transgender" to be an umbrella term that covers the entire realm of our society. However it is also a specific term for those who are in transition or fully transitioned. As a crossdresser, I use the umbrella term when I tell others about me. I think it's all a matter of perception to those of us who try to identify as a certain type.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

It was probably 1983 when I went to big Halloween party dressed. I found it exhilirating when a man asked me to dance! I loved the feeling of him holding me on the dance floor! This is the feeling I'm folllowing today. I'm not looking back, but I am looking forward! I'd love to find him! I am a girl you know!

Cheryl Ann

[Rachel Morley]

Absolutely CDs are accepted as part of group that is called "transgender". As others have said, "transgender" is an umbrella term that encompasses lots of people that are gender variant.

[Rachel Morley]

I found it exhilarating when a man asked me to dance! I loved the feeling of him holding me on the dance floor!
Me too .... very exhilarating the first time a man held my coat open for me to slip into and when a door was held open for me etc. Makes you feel very different (feminine?).

[TeresaCD]

Girl, you are what you are.
My first conversation with a CD ended with them suggesting a local TG support group, which they are part of.
I'd never thought of myself that way, if it meant that I felt less isolated and alone, well that's all that matters, not the definition.
Me, I love my male life, my wife and kids.
I also love to be en femme, and want to be the best I can be at both.
As you say, for some aspects of life, it doesn't work for some of us, so we are left trying to find a balance..

[Beverley Sims]

Mandi, it is interesting my big debut came over the Easter break years ago.
Five days with a different circle of friends, all girls away visiting somewhere.
They experimented, dressed me up and I became Beverley from then on.
I had dressed previously and they knew how convincing was.
We needed to go as a group of girls to be accepted socially, no guys needed.
I was accepted as a girl,although some others knew and were pleasantly inquiring and curious.

Nothing on hitting it off with a bi-girl, they just as intimate and loving as normal gg"s.
Sometimes even more accepting.

[Lisa Gerrie]

I have no desire to do it always (I wish)

Which one is it?

[CDChloe1972]

Thats so exciting Mandi, good for you that you got to go out, I'm still working up the courage to put my washing out on the line en Femme.

I think you should make CrossDressing into whatever you want from it.

I think Gender and crossdressing and sexuality are all very fluid concepts. The cool thing to keep in mind is that you can always redefine things while you redefine yourself.

Take things as far as you're comfortable to. Its your journey so you should get the most out of it.

anyhoo, congratulations on stepping into the real world as Mandi. You may have just inspired me to give it a go.

[nolafeet]

AWWW.. You and everyone here are so sweet. Baby I could not have done it without support! A lesbian friend helped me and I met whole bunch of LGBT friendly peeps...If you were here I would ask you to come out with me...I'm still super nervous, but...I'M PRETTY!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mandi, You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure what label to wear.

[stephNE]

Hi Nolafeet, I think you have gotten lot of good info here already. There is another thread on here talking about "normal CDers". While we have some similarities, the more I read I see where are all very different. I like to think that there is a scale, with 100% male at one end and 100% female at the other, and the term transgender encompasses everything in between.

[Alison_Mathers]

Mandi, Like you I'm new to this. I've been trying to fit into a "label" as there are so many of them. So many that new ones are being created. I myself feel that I am Bigender.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Me too .... very exhilarating the first time a man held my coat open for me to slip into and when a door was held open for me etc. Makes you feel very different (feminine?).

Back around 1991, I took the plunge and let my hair grow out. A stylist friend gave me a curly perm and I kept it that way for a couple years. The company I workd for quickly got over it. I also bought some clip-on hair pieces to add volume. My wife and I went out one night and a parking attendent while being directed out called me "Mam" and when I turned to face him he apologized. Really! No apology necessary!

Cheryl Ann

[kimdl93]

As others have said, CD is often described as part of the spectrum of behaviors included in transgenderism. Some CDs protest that they don't belong under that umbrella...but certainly those of us who do wish or dream we could live full-time as women, those who feel that "its more than the clothes" are indeed transgendered.

[Lynn Marie]

Seems like I just answered pretty much the same question in another thread!

I said: I'm betting that you're pretty young, afraid of being gay, afraid of not being "man enough", and, of course, "toubled and confused". Ease up on yourself a little and relax. Many of us are just like you and have slowly learned to live with who we are rather than continually question "why" or "who" am I?

In boy mode, I'm a boy. I think like a boy and do boy things.
In girl mode , I'm a girl. I think like a girl and do girl things.
It's actually pretty simple, and great fun! Enjoy.