First Kiss

[Asp]

Asp had her first kiss tonight. It felt like lightning coursed through my body. I've kissed before but never as Asp. It felt for once that I was the princess that I think I am. Despite my uncle passing away today, that one kiss made my stress and depression go away.

It was with my best friend of 9 years. We met because he was Bi and I was Bi and we were 14 and were just interested in a hookup. He showed me his motorcycle and 4 wheeler and we just became best friends. All he would talk about were girls, girls, and girls. I honestly think that's why I started dressing because I wanted to be the girl of his dreams because I really liked him.

I came out as Asp to him about 3 months ago and every time he sees me, he calls me beautiful.

Tonight I while I was (finally) out and about as Asp, he told me (crying as i write) that he was soproud of me that I was being who I wanted to be and do what makes me happy. Later in the night, he randomly turned to me and open mouth kissed me on the mouth. I had to leave him and started crying because it was too much because he's married and has a family and finally showed me some sort of affection. After all the years I finally felt wanted in life after a dozen failed relationships but I can't have him since he's married now.

For a second, I felt like the girl of his dreams.

[PaulaQ]

That sounds like a beautiful and moving experience Asp, but I'm sorry about the complications of his life. I can imagine that it is kind of bittersweet feeling, isn't it?

[prene]

WOW
What a story.
There are others out there.... I keep telling myself that.
Good luck

[Asp]

That sounds like a beautiful and moving experience Asp, but I'm sorry about the complications of his life. I can imagine that it is kind of bittersweet feeling, isn't it?

I don't really know what you mean, but it is a feeling that I can't even explain. It felt so right and I wish I could do it all over again.

[Xandra]

That's beautiful.

[PaulaQ]

Ignore the bittersweet comment. It sounds like a memory you'll have for your entire life. I'm glad that it was wonderful for you, I am happy for you. A first kiss is one to be remembered.

[Beverley Sims]

A first kiss is something to remember, I will remember mine always.
You have one complication in life, you should move on as he is married.
There are a lot of other opportunities out there to make your life happy.
No you do not have to forget him, but it is wise to keep your distance and try and be friends only.

[Maria in heels]

Asp...its a lovely story during a sad time. Its something for you to remember, and yes, we all would sometimes like to turn back the clock, but unfortunately we cannot. Being friends is very important, but taking it to the next level may be very complicated, and be sure that you can handle it.

[CutieKylee]

great story asp... i have yet to have my first kiss, i wish my experience is very emotional as yours... :envy:

[Tilly Vega]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :') *rushes over and gives you a hug

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Asp, That story was going great till the part about him being married.

[Asp]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :') *rushes over and gives you a hug

Would totally accept that hug :)

[kimdl93]

That was definitely an emotionally powerful moment..but please leave it at that. You dont need to have those problems in your life and neither does his family.

[heatherdress]

Asp - I agree with the above comments and also urge you to store this beautiful memory away. If you think it could continue - many people could get hurt - especially you. Getting involved with anyone married is never positive, or healthy or good. Maybe the moment felt "so right" but don't take it any further. Find new moments, lots of them, a lifetime of them - with someone who is available.

[flatlander_48]

I don't really know what you mean, but it is a feeling that I can't even explain. It felt so right and I wish I could do it all over again.

Yes, but at least now you know what is possible...

[Jodi Anne]

Asp, you lucky girl I teared up just reading your post.

[LelaK]

My first and last kiss was at age 5 on the school bus.

It would undoubtedly feel nice (or spectacular or something) to have an experience like yours, but such experience seems largely biological infatuation. If you're best friends, it may be even more addictive than otherwise. I'd try to think of how to proceed based on the most caring thing to do. Caring is what I think real love is - caring for others as much as self.

If he stays your friend, maybe ask him how to help you do the most caring thing. Maybe he'd like to help you find someone as likable as himself. As young as you both seem to be, though, I wouldn't count on that, but it's still possible.

[Anneliese]

Congrats! Beautiful.

My first kiss was at age six, with a beautiful girl named Michelle. I will never forget it.

[Alice Torn]

I can almost understand. There is a married man in a loveless marriage , who is hot to meet up with me. I keep away, so far. He lives 80 miles away. I do fantasize about it though. Best to savor the one kiss, and move on.

[savvy_fudge]

Sounds great Asp. So glad it was awesome for you.

[leonal123]

Happy for you :)

[Tracii G]

Wow soo touching, wonderful and sad all at the same time:hugs:

[AmyGaleRT]

Oh wow, Asp. I really feel for you. How beautiful and sad all at once.

I have no idea how Amy would react if she were kissed by a man like that. My fiancee does not wish that particular experiment run! :D

- Amy