very important question

[HollyH20]

Hi I am married to a wonderful understanding wife. I am what I would call transgendered. I dress as Holly from head to toe, probably 95% of all my time. My wife loves me either way but I do find there is a missing bond between her and I when I'm Holly.

We ave slept together once with me completely as Holly, and I was wondering if that needs to continue so she can love Holly instead of like Holly?

Calling on anyone with experience with this, to help me along this path. I take estrogen and have been for 15 months. My sexual days are almost over. She knows I am hormones, but she also knows I will never have surgery, and I don't really want to anyway. There are times I enjoy being a man, and don't want to 100% eliminate that.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

[arbon]

Why not ask her? Maybe she does not want to sleep with Holly.

[AllieSF]

Yes, I agree that we can guess and opine, but asking her would be much better. I would say that maybe you build up to the question so that you do not catch her off guard and then get a hurried and surprised answer from her that may be more negative than she intends. Let her get into your female side in a good conversation and then just bring up what you felt that one time and how she feels about it all. As others will say here shortly, she married a guy, unless you were this way before you got married, and now you are almost not. How does she "really" feel about the change now? From an outsider's view, mine, I think you are almost or are TS, because being Holly 95% is much more than a part time CD/TG. If that is the case, does your wife understand all that it means to be TS and where the path will eventually lead regardless of how far your would go with transition? Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and also need to mention you are lucky to have the wife you have letting you be Holly almost full time.

[celeste26]

It does sound rather strange that you've been on hormones for that long and yet still retain the "I like being a guy too." Even you acknowledge that the "male" parts will soon become useless for much. So just which parts of being "guy" do you like. The so called "male privilege" the social conventions that put men first and women second? Seems like you owe it to yourself and your wife an answer to that one.

[HollyH20]

All good input. I can say this for sure, I know how lucky I am to have her. I know deep down I'm a woman, but after so many years as a man, there are a few things that I treasure in that regard and don't want to give them up.

I'm so different than most. I never really felt like a woman when I was young, or even crossdressed. I had a very strong type "A" personality, and it was causing problems in my marraige. I started realizing I needed to change, and read about crossdressing, as a calming influence.

I appproached my wife about it, and she laughed as did I. I halfheartedly tried it, and for the first few days it felt absolutely ridiculous. I did find however after a week or so, I became noticably calmer when dressed, which was maybe a couple hous a day.

I started believing there was something real about the clothes, and the make up. I started dressing more, and there became times when I wasn't dressed, and my type "A" personality came out, my wife would tell me to go put on my dress and makeup.

When I did, it all went away. It was a crutch for awhie until I realized, when I wasn't dressed I was still the same. So I decided on hormones, just to see if that would solve the issues.

To make a long story short, I fell in love with how I was feeling as a woman, and it gradually took over. I then started questioning everything. Am I a crossdresser? Am I gay? Was I supposed to be a woman? Why does this feel so wonderful?

I'm comfortable to know, it is none of the above, but I do love being a woman,I am so much nicer a person now, and my wife agrees.

Anyway there is so much more, but all I am saying I'm not the traditional TS,TG, etc. I am one out of necessity, not because I thought I was a woman.

I love it now though my life is so much easier.