Crossdressing and mental health

[Ocelon]

Hey guys. I don't want to rant as a first post so sorry in advance. I'll just tell you a little about myself, first of all. I highlighted the actual question in case my post is too boring / pretentious.

I have messed around for a long time. For me it was never about women's clothes, from the beginning. More tucking myself in, making my boxers look like knickers, posing in front of the bathroom mirror with my obvious male parts out of shot etc.


Now that I've accepted myself occasionally dressing I'm beginning to really worry about my mind though. I just go from being all chilled while dressed, if somewhat horny, to being in massive rages a lot of the rest of the time, really hateful and angry. I kind of scare myself sometimes. Is it common for CDs to be a bit unbalanced?

[boink]

I would venture a guess that amongst crossdressers the number who would report having experienced anxiety/depression/other mental illness is probably higher than average. A lot of that comes from the pressures of not conforming to gendered expectations, and struggling with finding your own identity. Amongst the LGBTQ community at large mental health issues are reported at a much higher rate than the general population, and rates of suicide are greatly increased, unfortunately.

If you feel like you have some concerns about your own mental balance, are struggling with issues related to your gender/identity I would strongly recommend you contact a therapist who can help you start to work through them.

[Kate Simmons]

That's a question only you can answer my friend. Who else, really, is qualified to make that determination?:)

[xdressed]

It is quite common for crossdressers to repress their girl side and that can certainly make us unbalanced to some degree. If you're unable to dress up out of fear of discovery or because you've outed yourself to someone you see often that can cause depression and anxiety, and no one who has to live with that is going to come off as well adjusted all the time.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Ocelon, would you tell us something about yourself? How old are you, does anyone know about this? How would they react if they did know?

As to crossdressers being more unbalanced than any other group, possibly, but it doesn't come from the crossdressing itself, but from being unable to accept it, and from the outside world being unable to accept it. Sometimes we just think the rest of the world won't accept it.

Many on here have found once they understand that it isn't wrong, they start to feel a marked decrease in stress.

[xdressed]

Sometimes we just think the rest of the world won't accept it.

Very important point, people can really surprise you. There have been several people I thought wouldn't be accepting at all that I am now actually out to with positive results

[Samantha B L]

Hi Ocelon,Crossdressers and transgender people,many of them,do experience some anxiety for any one of a thousand reasons. I don't think it means you'll go over the edge. If you want to talk to somebody,I think you'll find that about 80% of all mental health professionals are familiar with LGBT/TG/TS/CD issues and they will be receptive. Double check with them first for some kind of sylabus or brochure. Read through it to make damn sure they're freindly to your needs and issues. Use caution and don't go to any cults or groups calling themselves Christian or spiritual,Fundamentalists and what not. You'll quickly find out they'll try to use strong arm tactics to get you to cut it out and stop dressing. salu,Samantha

[Anneliese]

I was actually going to start a thread about anxiety. Dressing to me both relieves and causes it. Relieves by being myself and loving it, and causes because I'm not out to anyone officially, and I know somebody who knows me will see me shopping and make assumptions.

[Tilly Vega]

With me it took alot of different things to finally push me into admitting I'm a CD. Believe it or not crossdressing has helped me cope with depression :) As Tilly I just cant be depressed,if anything she gives my male side that closeness he needs. I know I have issues,and weird paraphillias,some that cant be discussed here. Overall I feel pretty ”normal”,but its all relative :)

[Karren H]

I'm the most balanced person I know! lol. then again making that statement might construe I'm unbalanced? I don't get depressed and never scare myself... I scare other people ! :D

[mollycd99]

Dressing has long been identified as a way for folks like us to relieve stress. For myself, I was dressing occasionally and mostly privately until my wife was diagnosed with cancer. Then all of a sudden I was underdressing 24/7 and fully dressing as often as I could. This went on for several weeks before either of us realized the connection.

And you know what? It helped. Nothing else was. Counseling, physical activity, drinking ... None of those were allowing me to cope with the diagnosis. But once I was able to dress as often as I needed, I was better. It didn't make the problems go away, but put me in a place where I could function and deal with it more constructively.

[Beverley Sims]

You are likely to experience mood swings when dressing and presenting as a male.
There can be a contrast in moods but it is something you need to sort out yourself.
Others who have had similar mood swings may relate to yours.

[Johnna.James]

Ocelon,
Speaking from experience, find a therapist and talk to them. I see a female therapist on a weekly basis and she has made a world of difference in my life as both John and Johnna. I have a balance of both sides of me right now, yes it tilts some times but at least i can deal with it when i does. Trust me when I say I have been to the dark side and it is not pretty. Feel free to ask me any questions about this.

[Barbara Maria]

I'm just the opposite. I supressed the female me for years. I went through terrible periods of depression and anxiety which led to a pretty serious battle with the sauce(it's ok now). I didn't really feel normal until I did accept it. Now things make much more sense and I finally feel good about myself.Barbara Maria

[Vickie_CDTV]

As someone who has been around trans people for a long time, I think I can say there is a fair amount of real depression in the trans community.

However, more important than the statistics is your situation. Your other feelings aside, you really should seek professional help for the feelings of rage, before you hurt yourself or others, intentionally or otherwise.

[ossian]

Ocelon,
Speaking from experience, find a therapist and talk to them. I see a female therapist on a weekly basis and she has made a world of difference in my life as both John and Johnna. I have a balance of both sides of me right now, yes it tilts some times but at least i can deal with it when i does. Trust me when I say I have been to the dark side and it is not pretty. Feel free to ask me any questions about this.

Well said, I too am in therapy. It is a place where you can work out issues. Be sure to find somebody that has experience with TG/CD issues. I had to do my research to find one that I was comfortable with.

[Lisa Gerrie]

Is it common for CDs to be a bit unbalanced?

It is common for human beings to be a bit unbalanced. Virtually universal. I don't worry about one thing causing another; every adult human on the planet carries enough baggage to make them walk funny.

[kimdl93]

I'll echo the previous posts - yes, it is common for human beings to be unbalanced. Many of people have a variety of emotional and even psychological issues...ranging from unrealistic expectations and faulty thinking that contribute to depression, to psychotic conditions. Being CD doesn't cause these things, but one might conceivably mistake an underlying psychological issue for gender dysphoria. I sometimes wonder how often a person goes down the path of treating GID, without addressing other problems.

My advice to you is to get competent psychological help to address the rage. I can't say what drives this behavior but you need to get help.

[Lynn Marie]

For some reason I get the feeling that being a crossdresser and being "well balanced" might be mutually exclusive properties. That said, I feel I'm as well balanced as anyone on the planet. I guess that just goes to prove what a nut case I really am!

[Kalista Jameson]

Is it common for CDs to be a bit unbalanced?

I think it's common for anyone to be a bit unbalanced for a number of reasons. Unemployment, self-esteem, debt worries, you name it. We CD'ers are no less immune to any of life's challenges. If anything, adding in how to deal with the social stigma of what we do only exacerbates what already exists within us for simply being human. I don't believe there is anything specifically unbalancing about you or what you are saying based on what you've shared.

For many of us, while crossdressed, we feel more at ease, relaxed with ourselves, even if it is only in the privacy of our own homes. If you are saying crossdressing itself is making you feel unbalanced, or that you feel unbalanced about what the crossdressing means for you in your life, you may want to invest in talking to a counselor who understands transgender/crossdressing issues, to help you gain some further insight. Certainly, I and many here are happy to help with sharing our thoughts and experiences as well.

Cheers and welcome to the forums,

Kalista