Dana
12-13-2005, 07:59 PM
Me? I'm 48. Not a bad thing! Considering the alternative, and considering that many haven't made it this far!
Was married, had two children ~ that turned out blessingly well balanced, well responsible, self supporting ~ not on drugs ~ not emotionally damage ~ with little or nor perceived baggaged from their mother's and my divorce!
I'm in good health ~ Thank God! Like most I need to give up some bad habits such as smoking and drinking too much ~ but Thank God ~ I've avoided the temptation of doing drugs!
Retired from one career, got a check coming in from it, along with all the benefits (Military) {Thank God! I did it! Thank God! Its Over!}
Been through the cheating wife deal! Beat myself up over ~ really bad! {Was it because I was a crossdresser? Was it because I wasn't man enough for her? Masculine enough for her?}
Crawled inside of a whiskey bottle for way too many years!
Re-bounded into another long term relationship! (Just had to have a girl friend! Just had to be in a relationshp!)
Was trying to re-validate myself in heinsight!
Did the sports thing! Did the military thing! Elite military. Voluenteerd for every Fool~hardy thing there was! That was me! Putting my butt out on the line for everything that came along!
All to prove and validate that I was a male! A man! To validate and prove my masculinity ~ anything to kill the feminnie side of me! To deny, to dis-prove the effeminate side of me! Its a wonder that I still have both legs and both arms, or not in a freaking wheelchair with a broken neck or back!
You name it, I've just about done it! The show, "The Fear Factor" makes me laugh! {I really need to get in touch with those folks ~ just for the money}
I've been through Jungle Warfare School, Mountain Warfare School, Desert Warfare School, POW school All that BS! I've repelled off the side of mountains, and out of helicopters, {I'm never jumped out of an airplane with a parachute ~ not jump qualified!}
LOL! Yet, I'm terrified of walking out of my front door dressed as a woman!
I've more than seen, experienced the male side of life ~ yet the feminine side of life scares me?
I'm afraid of that!
Why?
Was married, had two children ~ that turned out blessingly well balanced, well responsible, self supporting ~ not on drugs ~ not emotionally damage ~ with little or nor perceived baggaged from their mother's and my divorce!
I'm in good health ~ Thank God! Like most I need to give up some bad habits such as smoking and drinking too much ~ but Thank God ~ I've avoided the temptation of doing drugs!
Retired from one career, got a check coming in from it, along with all the benefits (Military) {Thank God! I did it! Thank God! Its Over!}
Been through the cheating wife deal! Beat myself up over ~ really bad! {Was it because I was a crossdresser? Was it because I wasn't man enough for her? Masculine enough for her?}
Crawled inside of a whiskey bottle for way too many years!
Re-bounded into another long term relationship! (Just had to have a girl friend! Just had to be in a relationshp!)
Was trying to re-validate myself in heinsight!
Did the sports thing! Did the military thing! Elite military. Voluenteerd for every Fool~hardy thing there was! That was me! Putting my butt out on the line for everything that came along!
All to prove and validate that I was a male! A man! To validate and prove my masculinity ~ anything to kill the feminnie side of me! To deny, to dis-prove the effeminate side of me! Its a wonder that I still have both legs and both arms, or not in a freaking wheelchair with a broken neck or back!
You name it, I've just about done it! The show, "The Fear Factor" makes me laugh! {I really need to get in touch with those folks ~ just for the money}
I've been through Jungle Warfare School, Mountain Warfare School, Desert Warfare School, POW school All that BS! I've repelled off the side of mountains, and out of helicopters, {I'm never jumped out of an airplane with a parachute ~ not jump qualified!}
LOL! Yet, I'm terrified of walking out of my front door dressed as a woman!
I've more than seen, experienced the male side of life ~ yet the feminine side of life scares me?
I'm afraid of that!
Why?