Finally HRT

[AnitaH]

So Monday I finally had my first appointment with an endocrinologist about HRT. A long awaited event. Started the medication on Tuesday. I should be elated except that Sunday night I was asked to tender my resignation because of the HRT. I've always known that this would happen sooner or later. Some of my family members that have known about my crossdressing for years are very against me now. And I know that sometime in the near future separation is coming for my marriage.

I have often heard that transition was expensive and not just in money, and I've known that much of this would likely happen to me. It's just a little bit different knowing that it might be coming and actually facing the events. It does cause me to question, just a little bit, what I am doing. In spite of the cost I know I cannot go back to who I was, what I was just a short time ago.

Some people say they're concerned about the pain that's ahead for me if I continue on this path. What they don't know about, or perhaps they don't care about the lifetime of pain and misery that I've dealt with for an entire lifetime. I can't go back to that, I must continue this path towards transition and possible SRS.

In the end family and acquaintances will either accept my new reality or not. I won't force the issue. If they won't accept I guess it's their loss. It will not deter me from pursuing life for myself. It just tempers my joy somewhat.

I'm sure many others on this forum have similar experiences.

AnitaH

[DaniG]

Best of luck to you, Anita. I feel your anguish. I'm weighing my life decision right now. My marriage hangs in the balance, or perhaps is already lost. I don't know.

Deciding to transition is a leap of faith, and I commend you for your courage. You're sure to reap the rewards of womanhood. God bless your journey!

[Barbara Ella]

Anita, I am so sorry. It really should not go this way. I am weighing how to bring my wife into my decisions, and cannot even approach the anguish you are being put through dear. Be strong, like you say, it is your life for yourself.

Hugs,

Barbara

[mikiSJ]

I should be elated except that Sunday night I was asked to tender my resignation because of the HRT.

Can I ask why you were asked to resign. I thought NY State was a progressive state, along the lines of California. (I do realize western NY State is not NYC; just as the Southern Central Valley is not San Francisco!)

[Rianna Humble]

First of all, congratulations on starting the HRT :hugs:

I'm sorry that you have been asked to resign from your job. How transferable are your skills?

I'm sure that many of those who express concern about future pain are very sincere. The problem is that it is very difficult for those around us to understand anything of the pain and anguish that we suffer before giving in to the need to transition.

You are right not to want to force the issue with your family and friends, and I hope that they will find it in themselves to accept who you are and to be there for you.

[AnitaH]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. It helps knowing someone out there is supportive.

New York State does not have much protection for transgender issues. There has been a bill introduced into the state senate but it has meet with great resistance for some time now. Some cities have adopted protective measures but not most.

Fortunately the career that I had before getting into the current work is very transferable. One of the few lines of work where employers are still looking for employees. I kept up my qualifications all this time so I guess I'll go back to my old career.

AnitaH

[Kaitlyn Michele]

May I ask why did they have to know about starting HRT at this time?? Is there a reason you didn't keep this info closer to your vest professionally?

are you starting to live real life in the very near future?

[TNRobin]

I'm very sorry to hear that. I'm self-employeed, but in my field a transition will kill off a lot of my business. So far my family has been very supportive.

If you don't mind, I'd like to suggest a book that my therapist got me to read. It's called "True Selves," and it's written in a way that might be of help to both you and anyone that you know that you wish to explain everything to.

[Ann Louise]

I'm sorry to hear that your decision to proceed with HRT has led to such negativity on the part of others Anita. This is a truly life-affirming, positive step you've taken, and you deserve to be proud of taking control of your destiny. And you are correct, others who will not or cannot see that are those who are suffering a loss.

Concerning doubts, although I had some pretty wild swings in mood, doubt and uncertainty, once I engaged in my HRT program those swings mellowed out considerably. I suppose that it's a combination of physical changes, and the psychological affirmation that I've committed to my true self, the person I've been all along.

You sound like you've got your head screwed on straight to me. One day at a time dear. Warmest Hugs, Danni

[Nicole Brown]

I feel sorry for your former employer, they most definitely lost an excellent worker over something that would have made no difference in how you performed your responsibilities. I also feel sorry for them for being so narrow minded and biased.

As for you Anita, you are probably better off without them. Just how happy could you be working for a company that is so unaccepting. Look forward to the future and to your new life. Anyone who tells you that you are in for a difficult time has either proceeded you on this journey, or is selfish and doesn't want you to follow your heart. Follow your heart and do what you know you need to do and be who you need to be.

I am on virtually the same path as you are so I think I can speak from experience. All of my true friends and close family have accepted me for who I am becoming. Those who have rejected me or told me that I am crazy to be doing this to myself are no longer considered my friends. I consider myself lucky as all I have lost was one unaccepting small minded acquaintance and my former wife. The loss of an acquaintance is not significant, the loss of my wife was.

It reached the point where I simply had to think of myself and what was best for me. You are reaching that same point and will need to decide what is best, and needed, for you. Think carefully and consider all of your options before you make your final decision. Remember, the rest of your life is at stake here. PM me if you would like to talk offline about this or you think that I might be able to be of any help.

[KellyJameson]

It will always be difficult for me to understand why cisgenders are so fearful when someone moves to align their body with their gender

The substance of the person does not change and if anything they will become more productive members of society.

How much value can someone contribute when they are in pain?

It is truly sad that you are not being accepted and supported because this adds to your already considerable burdens.

I will never understand a world that inflicts pain on those who are in pain.

The very people doing this would holler at the top of their lungs if it was done to them.

Always there are the injustices of double standards because you are only supported by meeting the cultures definition of pain and if you live outside this definition than you cannot possibly be in pain.

There is a serious shortage of empathy in the world.

[AnitaH]

Again thanks go out to all for your responses and encouragement.

Kaitlyn - lets just say it was better this way than the alternatives and it frees me to finally be myself.

Nichole thank you for the offer, I just might take you up on that.

AnitaH