Did you really transition?

[Nicole Erin]

No I don't mean did you go out and get your genitals or face altered. I mean this - did you become a different person?
To read and hear about this whole "transition" or "transsexual" thing, I still have little clue what either one means. Oh sure there is the textbook definitions but those seem to be useless.
As for me - I may look quite a bit different but inside, I am still the same person. I don't act, feel, or think any different than that 17 year old kid who used to be the "lunk" that Planet Fitness gym hates. My aggression is subsided but that is cause I am too old for all that nonsense. I was proud of my looks back then and today I still am. That 17 year old kid could not keep his eyes off the mirror, nor can this 38 year old broad I became. So what, I love myself. I used to be handsome, now I am pretty.

If I had money, sure I would go out and get SRS, MAYBE FFS, and a boob job. A good friend would help me pick a rack, he is a boob lover... None of that would make me a different person. I don't see any difference between my old and "new" life. And for me - SRS would mean little more than having to re-learn to masturbate. I am good at that so re-learning would be a breeze. :o SHUT UP!

Y'all see where I am coming from? I know many here have gone under the knife but can anyone really say they transitioned into a different person?

[I Am Paula]

Tho' I've not had any surgery yet, I feel that I've crossed that line, a being a woman is the new normal. Am I a different person? My friends say yes, but I feel that the things that make me me, have remained the same. Just a calmer, happier version of me. Me 2.0
Besides- I already tried to change who I am with alcohol, and that didn't work out so good.

[arbon]

I've always been me, still am me, but a lot about me has changed. More then just how I look (which other than hair removal does not seem like much of a change). A lot inside, how I feel about myself, how I am much more comfortable in my own skin. I'm a lot less angry, anxious, depressed. How I interact with the world has changed. Some things still so much the same - I can still be very self absorbed, very shy and quiet..pretty much all the same bad and good traits. I don't know its weird sometimes to think about how different I am (am still becoming) yet I am still so much the same.

[celeste26]

Nicole, in one sense a TS is already a woman it is only her body which does not conform to what is going on inside. So in that sense I can understand why you might ask that. The problem lies in the fact that a being under the influence of Estrogen does things differently than the same one under the influence of Testosterone. It is quite on the level of the unconscious and not something that is a constant series of choices. There are few external objective standards to claim any transition only internal and subjective ones. (outside of the surgical changes of course.)

So Nicole it all depends upon your perspective, and how willing you are to allow subjective issues to decide. In the hardest and harshest point of view that tell us there is no evidence at all for any TS anywhere and therefore no transition anywhere. That is so typical of a male dominated point of view black and white thinking making no allowances for a rainbow or spectrum of experiences. However, based upon the experiences of those here and elsewhere there are in fact transitions both of hormone driven and surgery driven. Take your choice Nicole.

[ReineD]

Nicole, I think transition has more to do with changing how others perceive you, since as you say a transwoman is and has always been a transwoman. But, she lived her early life presenting as a male. So transition means that she now lives her life presenting/wanting-to-be-seen-as/wanting-to-be-treated-as a female and she asks the people in her life to recognize this.

[Rianna Humble]

I consider that I am still in transition, but I hope I can answer this from the perspective of someone who is a work in progress.

My core values are still the same, but the way that I put them into action has changed noticeably. Now that I don't have to pretend to be a man, I can express my opinions less forcibly yet equally powerfully. This caused a close friend to comment to me that I am a much nicer person than Robert ever was.

I still care passionately about fairness and I will continue to campaign on behalf of people who need my support, but there are differences in the way that I express and conduct myself compared to before.

Because I don't have to bury my feelings deep down inside of me, I can give them much freer expression and that alters the way that I empathise and show compassion.

So in some ways, you are right that I am not a different person, but in other ways the person that I am is different to the person I once portrayed.

[Angela Campbell]

I am just beginning. I have not started HRT yet, and I still must be a man at work for a while, but in this whirlwind that is going on in my life I feel like I am changing and I am still the same person I always was. Being pushed into a lifestyle which was uncomfortable for me all of my life kind of helps me now as being uncomfortable facing the pressures of trying to start a transition is kind of normal. I have always been the black sheep, the outsider, the rebel. I was thought of this way because I could never fully embrace being what they all wanted me to be. Now I am slowly stripping away the false exterior(and searching for the way to build a new one) and I am finding the freedom to be me.

If you pretend to be something long enough it becomes ingrained. Trying to erase this and allowing me to develop is kind of like changing me. Although I will still be me I will seem like a completely different person because no one has ever known me. The disguise is so complete that once shed I will be unrecognizable to anyone in my life. I am changing on the inside because I was never allowed to be me in the first place.

Now If I can just get to see the new therapist...he is too busy "putting out fires" to see me right now. At least I am moving in the direction I want and I have goals. Even if it is slow.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Of cause iv changed im nothing like i was ,What has not changed is being female that never changed, surgerys yes iv had a few, quite a few,

What really has changed is i have... grown...into a woman its not about tranistion i have not changed from male to female i know nothing of that, thats where my difference comes in.

i know of women who were percived as male & yes they were very passable , & some men who did as well the detail was none of them had surgerys as time caught up with them they went back to being what they were at birth,

We can be percived wrongly because of how we look , I have talked to many trans people over the years, so i do know how they feel about them selfs & the why's, some with family members & how they see it, & this is face to face, not just a phone call.

In some details we have a few details similar very few infact, there were other issues i went through yet never had the Mental concerns that trans have, never did the Psych discusions or the long period of sorting out issues , i told the Dr's concerned what i was doing & they were happy with every thing so no issues there,

in fact they were very helpfull

Going back to changes , many i hear say they are the same person if there are no changes we are not growing , what many doint realise is they dont see the changes others do. so i would not ask the person who is going through the changes id ask thier friends they will see far more, & can give a better account .

I have many friends & going back some 50 years who could tell you about myself & yes i'v seen them with in the last 5 years,

Of cause Jos would be the best with 39 years even over the last 15 years, many friends can tell you. getting closer to home our grandchild Dejarn just over 10 years, yes she is .......one neat kid........i love her so.......,

Hormones this is different for us, our own hormones can change with in the T & E, concept with out any outside interferance or added H R T, being intersex, does that.,so i had changes internalay as well not major of cause, yet still happened,

Surgerys hmmm oh wow, that was one beautiefull day in my life, one fantastic time, oh yes ...yes... yes.........just so neat, i hope you get what im trying to say.

Stand in front of me you sure would,,,

...noeleena...

[melissaK]

I haven't accomplished much of a physical MTF transformation, sigh. (Come on Rogaine . . . don't let me down).

But, years on HRT gave me boobs, which I know is not what you are talking about, but HRT also adjusted my emotions. At least I'm blaming the HRT. ;^)

Ok, that was vague. What I mean to say is I always loved chick flicks and chick lit, and I cried when Jonah asks "Are you Annie?" at the top of the Empire State Building, but really who didn't? Are there really stone hearted souls like that walking among us? But now I freaking WEEP at movies. Lifetime channel - I have to make it off limits or I won't get anything done but for the crying.

And it doesn't end there, I saw Sigur Ros in concert last weekend and had tears streaming down my face during Glosoli, the music was sooo moving and sooo gorgeous. ( http://vimeo.com/3977937) I sometimes hear in color, if that makes any sense to you, you probably have some synethesia too, but that's not new, but crying about the beautiful colors, in public, that is new. So, that's a change in me.

But what changed "me" the most was coming out about my TS issues this last January. That changed me a lot. I am incredibly more mellow, I laugh more, which of course means I smile more, and I'm more playful. (Read my Safe Haven thread on making a pass at my SO, OMG I so wouldn't have ever done it that way before). So that's a change in "me" too. In fact that really is an AWESOME change - I mean really, think about it. I'm happy. You just can't get there with things or money, and the good Lord, VISA and MC all know I have tried.

And if I could just get the whole MTF physical transformation done I'm sure the change in me would be even AWESOMER!! :-)

[Frances]

I think transition has more to do with changing how others perceive you, since as you say a transwoman is and has always been a transwoman.

That's pretty much it for me. I am not really a different person, but since I communicate a different gender, the universe communicates back corrrectly. Transition is about making visible what is inside the mind. I did not need FFS, but I have had SRS and complete hair removal. I do not think about my physical transformation anymore and the knowledge that I will be perceived female naked as well has brought me a whole new level of calmness. I don't feel different, but I feel like I belong now.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Nobody transitions into a "different person"... you buried the "lede"...

if you're ts, you've always been that woman, and you've had to deal with how your life didn't quite work out the way gg's lives normally do....and at some point you do what you can to survive because the "didnt quite work out" part kind of understates the case..

as far as the physicality of it... there are two things...passing and body changes... if you pass, your transsexual life is very different than if you dont... for me that required ffs for others it doesnt.. ffs didn't change me into a different person, it just changed the way i interacted with every single person i meet...thats a pretty big deal

as far as srs..i was ambivalent about it.. i didn't hate my parts, but they also meant nothing to me.. after my surgery was a revelation to me... everything in my thought process changed...i got the same immediate placebo feeling i got from hormones at first..a euphoria to go with the pain......then i got depressed thinking "this is it??" but in the end, it became a finality that even naked to the world i was a woman... that clicked something in me that made me feel differently about myself and to be honest it was a delightful surprise...i realized that i had not turned the page (Even though i thought i had)..

its great to have a good attitude about being a woman on the inside and to feel good about yourself.....feeling like your quality of life is good is something that trans and nontrans people both aspire too..

you simply cannot say what would happen and what wouldn't...poking fun at it as being just a new way to masturbate is kind of funny, its a fun way to masturbate btw, and quite easy to learn...
but its also kind of sad because you don't know what you are missing....

[Jorja]

I have to join the choir here. Transition does not change who you are as a person. It allows you to be the person you are. The surgeries only allow you to look a feel more the part. That being said, if you feel better about yourself and do not have to hide behind a cruel trick of nature, your own personality is going to come out and you may become someone people have never met before.

[kellycan27]

Maybe SRS, FFS, or a B/A might not "make" you a different person, but it can certainly make you "feel" different. Isn't that a good part of what it's all about? Making you feel like your outside matches your inside. Especially when it's reflected back at you.

[Kathryn Martin]

Making you feel like your outside matches your inside. Especially when it's reflected back at you.

No truer words can be said about it. I just spent a week by the pool in a bikini. It wasn't even a question.

[LeaP]

Welcome back, Kathryn. And pictures would be wonderful, of course!

[arbon]

No truer words can be said about it. I just spent a week by the pool in a bikini. It wasn't even a question.

Having a down moment after reading some of the last few posts, I'm so far from being a woman, where I wish I could get. I've transitioned to a point, but stuck in this grey zone - legally, socially, physically in between genders place. sigh, can be pretty depressing to think about.

Being in between is still a lot better then being a man though.

[Kathryn Martin]

arbon, just you wait arbon 'iggins just you wait......:D