Are CDs REALLY Accepted by Women?

[Lacy PJs]

I know that this is not scientific by any means but when I look around the Internet and see pictures of other CDs, they are seldom with women. Most all of them are either by themselves OR with another CDer. This makes me wonder about the real level of acceptance CDs have in the real world.

The other possible explanation is that in relationships where a spouse or girlfriend does accept her crossdressing partner, those relationships tend to be more private and Internet pictures aren't the norm. That is the situation I find myself in... my wife accepts ME; I'm not sure that she would equally accept other CDers like she accepts me.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

Lacy PJs

[DawnD]

I am never in the pictures with my SO, but that's because he likes to hog the spotlight! I kid, it's because I'm taking the picture.

I can only speak for myself. I'm very accepting of other CD's. Mostly I think you don't see the SO's in the picture is because the point of the picture is show of the CD. Not take a family snapshot. Although, you have given me the urge to snap a family portrait next time around.

[DanielleLee]

In my opinion, there is a difference between accepting a spouse's desire to CD, especially after being kept in the dark about it... and that of being accepting of a friend or a community who is/are trying to be themselves. While a woman may support an individual's right to be themselves... she may not accept that trait in a partner. For example, she may accept her friends' rights to parent as they see fit, (let's say spanking) but she may not want to be with a spouse who believes in spanking as a viable discipline method for children. Maybe that's a bad example, but in essence that her acceptance of men crossdressing as a whole, does not have to translate into HAVING to accept it in a spouse/SO.

[Tracii G]

Dawn I would love to see a pic of you two together.
Lacy that is a very good question but not sure there is a good answer for it.

[RADER]

My wife accepted me for me, Dressed or not, she would always say "I Love You"
Out of respect and love of me to her, I never left the "Closet" with my dressing.
She said many times, just do not embarrass her, And I never did.
Rader

[boink]

I assume you're referring to female partners, and not just women in general (I've had nothing but acceptance and/or support from every woman I've come out to so far)

Here's a picture of me and my (very pregnant) partner from just a few months back:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-D0nUhuaxIi0/UN3Oyu33kzI/AAAAAAAAAJw/1CfML9jUD3M/s400/IM002429.JPG

I don't know that pictures on the net are necessarily the best representation of the level of acceptance amongst female partners. My wife for one has been fabulous and very accepting, but we only have a dozen or so pictures of us together. Most of the time when I'm dressed pictures aren't the priority for either of us, we're just doing our normal thing.

[Stevie]

I don't know I read here how they are accepting on this forum but outside from that they might smile and be friendly but they seem to have negative view about it. My wife isn't overly thrilled about this.

[Ellanore G.G.]

I have never really given this much thought.
I tend to take people on a one to one level, not by how they dress, if that makes sense.
My H is my Husband, and I dont always think of him as a c/dresser.
I like to talk to different people on here, and it never really dawns on me " oh he/she is a c/d.
Most c/ds who post pics, are showing what they are wearing, to get some different opinions I think.
So there would be no need for a family shot ?
And maybe some are not out to family or friends, so they post in private ?
hmm I will have to think more about that one.

[Beverley Sims]

A lot of us are accepted here and those not intimately associated with a cd'er seem to accept it with trepidation.
Generally I think we are less thought of than gay people.

[carhill2mn]

I have a very good CD (sort of) friend whose wife accepts me as a CD but gets very upset if she sees her husband wearing a skirt. IMHO it is easier for many women to accept CDs who are not their SO. But then again, there are women who are willing to interact with their CD SO but do not want to associate with any other CDs.

So, as usual, it comes down to each individual situation.

[Persephone]

I know that this is not scientific by any means but when I look around the Internet and see pictures of other CDs, they are seldom with women. Most all of them are either by themselves OR with another CDer. This makes me wonder about the real level of acceptance CDs have in the real world.

I have dozens of pictures of me with my women's group (all GGs except for me), but for reasons of their privacy as well as my own I chose not to post them here. Many in the that group know of my past and are completely supportive. Others in that group and other groups that I belong to have no knowledge of my "twin brother." I can't tell you what a thrill it is to walk into a room full of women, see warm smiles, and hear "Hi Barb!"

Pictures that I have posted here, especially my avatars, were generally taken when I was out and about with GGs and cropped down to just portraits of me.

When out with other CD/TG/TSs we do tend to take pictures of only us, even though spouses are almost always present and others, non-CD/TG/TS, may be with us as well. Again, privacy rights.

So yes, there is a terrific level of acceptance available. It depends upon you as an individual and how you present yourself. Making a friend takes being a friend.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[2B Natasha]

Yes and no. Of course not all women accept and not all women don't accept. Women like in every other spectrum of society have their own minds and own thoughts.

My wife accepts me. My wife accepts my cd friends. Some unconditional and others with reservations. My besties accept me too. We go out together for GNO's and the like. With that said. How they would feel about their husbands if they where cd's? No idea. I suspect they don't either. How could they until that day?

As to pictures. I have plenty of my wife and I. Bit when we go out just us. She takes a picture of me and I of her. Honestly we don't take that many pictures. We are to much into ourselves mostly to worry about pictures.

Here are two pictures. One at a professional studio. One out and about. Where I can't remember.

[Angela Campbell]

Most of the ones I have met are kind of intrigued by it.

[kimdl93]

The observation tells you more about the CDrs interest in sharing their images than it does about women's acceptance of CDrs. In my experience...again a very selective sample of women, including my wife, co workers, neighbor ladies and everyday encounters with other women, are indeed accepting and even seem to enjoy having me around.

[Lorileah]

Most other CD sites are not conducive to SOs. And sometimes the SO is the one taking the picture.

Here is one of me and my GF almost exactly 3 years ago. I didn't like my photo :)201901

[suchacutie]

It's the case for us that our girlfriend relationship is private. I suppose that one of these days we'll slip or it will accidently become public, but we're pretty conservative about our actions.

[Bree Wagner]

I'd agree that it's mostly about privacy. Posting our own pics is easy and if it gets in the 'wrong' hands we only have to consider the consequences to ourselves.

With that said here's a few of mine with my wife posted with her permission.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8517/8425008501_05a408b23c.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/breewagner/8425008501/)
Masters of the Sillyverse (http://www.flickr.com/photos/breewagner/8425008501/) by Bree Wagner (http://www.flickr.com/people/breewagner/), on Flickr

I don't like the pic of me where my wife is pregnant (it was our first night ever out together) but since Boink started a theme...

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7118/7737620202_15d875b590.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/breewagner/7737620202/)
Ready to go! (http://www.flickr.com/photos/breewagner/7737620202/) by Bree Wagner (http://www.flickr.com/people/breewagner/), on Flickr

[Tara D. Rose]

This is such a perfect and loving example of an accepting wife.

[Jilmac]

I think non spousal women can be more accepting than wives or girlfriends. In most spousal relationships there is usually a sexual bond that may cause a woman to feel threatened by her SO's crossdressing. I have several female friends in strictly platonic relationships and none of them have a problem with my dressing, but in two marriages, each wife knew about my dressing but never supported it. I also know supportive spouses of crossdressers who are very accepting of other dressers and active in LGBT issues.

[lingerieLiz]

Women who are not a SO/wife are often more open and accepting. Stop and think about it. I'm straight, if my wife went around looking like a guy I wouldn't be as attracted to her as when she looks like a gorges move star. My wife tolerates my CDing because she loves me, but she would much prefer that I didn't.

That said we have several women friends who totally accept my wearing women's clothes. I'm friends with them and go shopping with the "girls". When we go to dinner with husbands I'm accepted as one of the husbands. At those times I wear slacks and shirts that at most are androgynous.

[Jenniferathome]

That is the situation I find myself in... my wife accepts ME; I'm not sure that she would equally accept other CDers like she accepts me.

THAT would be very surprising. Maybe you can just ask her. Basically, why would she care about a cross dresser with whom she is not familiar?

[CutieKylee]

Girls i met are usually intrested once they find out im actually a guy. They ask lostof questions at first then start exchanging beauty tips with me. Very rarely ill bump into a girl who is appauled at me. So yeah i would say most girls are, under a certain age that is. I would say about 40-50 is the cutoff but women in their mid 30's and younger have been mostly nice to me

[bridget thronton]

Thank you all for sharing the wonderful couples' pictures.

[Amanda M]

Lorileah - I liked your picture - you and your GF could be sisters!

[noeleena]

Hi,

For the groups im a member of most members are woman & im the one doing the photography so theres not many taken of my self, Jos has taken a few we had one taken of Jos & i , its some where in the photo section , i would put some more up , though i do get embarissed , its just i have issues with computers, so cant do it if it worked & i could send them to some one i would do that by email i think it still works .

Jos has accepted that because im different & she knows what i am though took 8 years to get there plus our family, Jos fully understands that those i know with in the trans & dresser's community plus other people Jos never had an issue with meeting any others, & we had talked a lot about this ,

Jos accepts with out an issue , we go every where do things together Jos will stay here in our home with me at different times even though we have been apart for over two years now ,
Jos needed time to live away from myself till health issues present them selfs later , ( jos's ) we will remain this way for now .

Really speaking theres no beauty about myself that would make a lovely photo any way. i prefer hideing behind my camara, & getting shots of others,
I have tryed to get them up just i keep failing the pic on the left is myself as im seen by others, oh yes... they are my colours ,

I have some on flickr that you may be able to get into try noeleena edwina or noeleena Lochhead, i cant get to my account others can .

...noeleena...

[Lynn Marie]

Actually I'm pretty sure that CDs are vastly more accepted by women than by men. Accepted yes, desired as a mate, no. Sort of reminds me of food that you learn to like over time. We scare men, they're always afraid they might be like us way down deep!

[Kalista Jameson]

Hi,

I think all roads lead to Rome on a question like this. Are _____ accepted by _____?

No matter how you you fill in those blanks, the answers will always come down to individual strengths and weaknesses of the crossdresser and the other person, as with any other type of person encountering another and how each presents themselves. Using the context of this topic, "Are CD's really accepted by women?", the answers will be:

Yes, no, and everything in between.

The question then ultimately becomes "Are people accepted by people?"

Yes, no, and everything in between.

Even when the question gets specific versus general, mileage will vary. Like, will people accept me as Kalista and not the male they may have or may not have known?

Yes, no, and everything in between.

Again, I think all roads lead to Rome on this one. Crossdressing aside, what is the sum package of what is being presented to a woman on an individual level? How are they presenting to us? When we think about all the traditional challenges every human faces to gain acceptance in one circle, community or social-economic group or another, it should bring us a bit closer to home in realizing that acceptance seems to come down to individuals in the moment of encounter and how we go from there. At least it seems that way to me.

That's why I'm working hard at Kalista's persona of appearing well presented, confident, laid back and happy. Smiling a lot and generally being non-threatening.

Will this work for me with all people I meet?

Yes, no, and everything in between.

Cheers,

Kalista

[MsJanessa]

I have a very good CD (sort of) friend whose wife accepts me as a CD but gets very upset if she sees her husband wearing a skirt. IMHO it is easier for many women to accept CDs who are not their SO. But then again, there are women who are willing to interact with their CD SO but do not want to associate with any other CDs.

So, as usual, it comes down to each individual situation.

Although some women have romantic relationships with crossdressers--it appears to be the exception rather than the rule---many more women tend to "put up" with their SO's CDing but don't actually embrace it and you get the feeling that if they knew about it before the relationship began, it would have been a deal breaker---Many more women will readily accept cross dressers as friends or acquaintances but don't want their husband or boyfriend dressing.

[MysticLady]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?192239-Do-Women-actually-like-Men-who-Cross-Dress/page5

post#6


Sorry Ive gotten lazy:heehee:

[MsJanessa]

I know that this is not scientific by any means but when I look around the Internet and see pictures of other CDs, they are seldom with women. Most all of them are either by themselves OR with another CDer. This makes me wonder about the real level of acceptance CDs have in the real world.

The other possible explanation is that in relationships where a spouse or girlfriend does accept her crossdressing partner, those relationships tend to be more private and Internet pictures aren't the norm. That is the situation I find myself in... my wife accepts ME; I'm not sure that she would equally accept other CDers like she accepts me.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

Lacy PJs

If your wife accepts you as a CD, then she would likely accept those CDs that she is no intimate with---the exception would be if she thought that you were intimate (or wanted to be) with the other CD--assuming your spouse is confident in her relationship with you, then she would proably have no problem meeting other CDers as friends

[Lacy PJs]

It was not my intention to suggest that people here should post pictures of themselves and their wives, girlfriends, etc., but rather to ask about their feelings of acceptance or tolerance or neither by the "general" female population. An answer to a question like that here has to be an opinion because we are all pretty much tolerant of CDs or we wouldn't be here in the first place... it would be kind of like asking people at Fenway Park if they liked baseball.

It was just something that came to mind as I noted that "most" of the pictures that I saw were of CDs and other CDs or by themselves. Seldom were there "mixed crowds."

Thanks for your responses but I still don't seem to have a general concensus...

Lacy PJs

[Jackie7]

I find that most women, once i actually meet them, generally accept me with kindness, and that I get a lot of positive attention from some of them. Those are the ones likely to become friends.

Well you know, doors close and doors open. In 2001 when I was outed to family, friends, and our entire small town, I did lose some friends along with my then-wife, but as I accepted the fact of being out there, I found new acceptance everywhere. I deepened my connection with some old friends and made many new friends too, including GG, men, and couples. While I don't ever swan around my professional world nor my grandchildren's world, our adult friends all know I am as likely to show up to a social event en femme as en drab and so is my wife, we are always appropriate to the event and sensitive to the other attendees, and while we don't ever ask permission, we do consult with hostesses to be sure we won't offend, and we generally advise dinner guests what to expect. I feel a lot of acceptance in our world.

[Angie G]

My wife accepts me being Angie but she won't call my Angie. And i think she would accept other crossdressers. She knows its not a choice thing but a need within us.:hugs:
Angie

[Jenni Yumiko]

General acceptance is hard to gauge, until they are in that specific situation, someone can say anything.
In my life the three people who knew while I was in the relationship with them, two actively participated, one preferring it 100/0, the other preferring it in the bedroom about 25/75. The third... Well I blogged here about it.
In my circle of friends, my lifelong friend/ex gf I just came out to, said she knew all along and wants to interact with fem side regularly, and my BFF who knows is very pro for it.
So out of 5 people, 1 is tolerating, the rest are all for it.
Btw my BFF is newly single :-) maybe ill get her to start looking for a CD bf.

[glynnis]

The only people who know about my dressing are a couple of my wifes girlfriends and her sister and all of them suport me.I dont go out dressed locally as I live in a very small town,but when we visit her sister who live closer to the city I always dress completly includin makeup.I love it when we go down there and people dont take any notice of me.We often go out for walks when down there,but I havnt pluck up the nerve to go shopping dressed yet.