It's not about the clothes

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Today as I was out & about enfemme, I realized that for me it's not about the clothes. It's about being me. Don't get me wrong, I really like the clothes, but, I also like just being a girl sometimes.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[Chari]

You should always try to be comfortable and confident in what ever you wear and however you present! A friendly smile helps too.

[Ciara Brianne]

It's not ALL about the clothes. I love my outfits, but really it's just a facade that matches how I feel inside.

Yes, I also like being a girl sometimes. :battingeyelashes:

Ciara:<3:

[Christine.Lolita]

I totally understand what you are saying. I do love the clothes as I have a very specialized style I like. But when I get totally enfemme I feel such a feeling of peace and spiritual balance. It is almost like a drug.

[Nicole Erin]

Live full time and I gotta be honest - t me the clothes IS a pretty damned important thing. Not a fetish thing (cept the hosiery) but when one has a seriously chic wardrobe like mine, it is an obsession.

[Michaelasfun]

I agree with you Kim. The clothes, for me, are just expressing how I want to present (as a female). And the exhiliration of being able to be myself actually fuels my confidence when out and about, the clothes are just kind of a vehicle towards being accepted for who I am.

[Cynthia Anne]

I agree, it's more about who I am! The clothes are an important part but I have to be me to be happy!

[xdressed]

It's definitely more than just the clothes for me, it's a whole identity

[suchacutie]

I've tried being Tina without the clothes. Ok, when I'm alone, completely alone, I can pull this off for a while. The problem for me is that the clothes are a part of a feedback loop that says FEMININE in a big way.

So, I agree entirely when we say, "It's not ALL about the clothes", but it's also not all about the heels, or about the makeup, or about my fem voice, or the way Tina walks...and the list goes on and on. It's about the girl within us that the clothes help to manifest and support.

It's the girl first, and all these supporting roles next. After all, if there wasn't the girl, we wouldn't need all the rest!

[Eryn]

When one is first starting to come to terms with this the focus is on clothes. It's the first thing that we change. Later on it becomes more about how we express ourselves. For me, the current challenge is improving my interaction with strangers while dressed.

[susan54]

No, for me it is ALL about the clothes. When I am on my own, I don't wear make up - except sometimes lipstick, and never a wig. I love putting an outfit together with shoes, bust and jewellery and always use all of these - and never trousers. When I go out, I add the make up and wig, and I try to act and speak like a woman - and it is huge fun - but at no point to I imagine I AM a woman.

I have a LOT of clothes and I really enjoy them, but probably just in the way a woman who loves clothes does - no fetishism involved. I am lucky that I look good in them - not necessarily like a woman - but they seem to suit me better than male clothes. In fact women have told me I have such good legs I should never wear a long skirt - it is nice to get my legs out but I rather prefer long skirts. I have de-haired my legs and armpits and usually have Minx toes in summer for my sandals - but that is to enhance how the clothes look and feel.

So yup - just the clothes.

[kimdl93]

Totally, Kim. For me it's about experiencing life as a woman, to the extent I can. The clothes are just a side benefit.

[Karren H]

Being me is independent of the clothes I wear.... so no.... I don't feel that way...

[Brynna M]

At first I told myself "I just like the clothes" But that fell apart for me when I admitted to my self the desire to remove body hair or wear makeup. In the end I agree "I want to be a girl sometimes" I'm not sure what the says about the real me or my feminine side etc. But it is definitly more than just clothes.

[Lynn Marie]

For me, the clothes make the woman! Of course a little makeup and hair complete the illusion.

[sometimes_miss]

No, it's not about the clothes. It's about feeling good in my own skin, whatever is covering it. I don't have to crossdress to feel good, but right now, it's the only option. The few times I had a stable relationship, crossdressing was few and far between, sometimes years. At this point, I don't know if I'll ever have a girlfriend again, so for now, well, yeah it's going to have to be the clothes, the shoes, the wigs, the jewelry. So, the bell's been rung; where's the treat? (you'll have to read my bio to find out what that's all about, link is in my sig).

[NathalieX66]

I have my own fetishes. My fetishes feel different than expressing the woman side of me.

Fetish is too male. I want to experience it from the other side.

[Tracii G]

The clothes are part of it for me but not everything.
xdressed pretty much sums up the way I feel about it.

[ossian]

When I was 13 it was exotic and a completely unique perfect experience. It was followed by self doubt depression drinking and some self desructive behaviour etc. It has been though this gauntlet of self doubt that I have accepted,with the help of friends and therapy, that this is who I am. I still have a bit of work tough on my journey. Bit it it is through this mix of fashion that I express my inner tg/CD bi gender self.

[Barbara Maria]

It's not just about the clothes for me either.I rarely get all dressed up in a dress and everything.I usually just hang around in a tank top and shorts or a skirt,all womens clothes,of course.As long as I have on my bra,forms,panties ,wig and lipstick and can look in the mirror and see the woman I love to be,I'm happy.I want to be the woman every second I can.

[Krystalina]

Today as I was out & about enfemme, I realized that for me it's not about the clothes. It's about being me. Don't get me wrong, I really like the clothes, but, I also like just being a girl sometimes.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Definately clothes for me. I used to think I wanted to be a girl, but about two years ago I realized that I really, really, really loved women's clothing and hate men clothing, and I'm cool being a male, but love female things, or at least things females take for granted, like being hairless, makeup, long hair, earrings:).

Then maybe again...its not about the clothes per se, but what I feel is naturally me. I love painting my toes for example. I love short shorts. I wish I could wear hair extensions(I always joke to my friends about getting silver braids) without being harassed by the social mainstream. Yeah I know, you shouldn't let people bother you, yadda yadda...

Now if only I could get some platform sneakers in size 13 men...

[TeresaCD]

To me, it's all part of the package - unlocking the girl in me.
Makeup, smooth body, clothes all form part of it.

[SilkySuzy]

Kim I feel very similar to you. Clothes are very important, but so is my make up , but so is looking in the mirror and seeing someone that has been hiding for years finally out there. It makes me smile ( a goofy smile but a smile anyway). I think finally feeling the way you have wanted to for years is a big part of it for me. Clothes are important, because as Christine said, it gives you your style, it tells everyone what kind of person you want to be seen as.

[Beverley Sims]

Yes Kim, the clothes are really nice and they do add to the euphoria of the situation and surroundings.
Keep on enjoying the moments.

[carhill2mn]

I am quite sure that there are many others (me for one) that feel very much like you do. The clothes are important but to me, so is being able to wear makeup, pretty jewlery, have nice hair to act like a lady and be treated as one in return.

[Jilmac]

Yep Kim, I feel the same as you, I love the clothes but like being just plain me, although the clothes I love to wear do a lot to enhance the girl in me.

[SarahBJackson]

Years ago, it was about the clothes. It was a fetsh. Last year, when Sarah emerged, it was so much more. It was about feeling great about myself and how I presented and interacted with the world.

[sarahgrant]

No. It's not about the clothes. It's the whole package. But the clothes help everyone else to see what I see. If I'm dressed in a skirt it means treat me as a girl.

[spandexgirl188]

I used to think that for me was all about the clothes, then i started to meet new people. GG's and Tgirls alike. One thing they had in common that i didnt was the fact that theyre figures were natural Hips, Butt, Boobs, Legs etc and mine was Made up.

thanks to help of waist cinchers, silicone forms, u guys know where im coming from.

then one day i decided that i would be alot happier or maybe more myself if i looked like a GG or aTgirl. so i decided to do something about it. I found a program that worked for me took the supplments advised, and now i have My femenine figure too.

I am not busty like some other girls, but at least i can fill a B cup, with in the first two weeks of trying the supplement i noticed the change in my boobs, my panties where fittign tighter around the hips and butt and my waist got smaller.

so for me, its the clothes and the figure toghether. The femenine state of mind comes after. All in all, i love being a girl.

[Cheryl T]

I've felt that way for about 10 yrs now since I came out to my wife.
It used to be all about getting dressed and then when I was able to without all the guilt and fear I realized it's not that, but it's about expressing who I am.

[Kirsty]

Even though I've been at this off and on for about 30 years, I'm still discovering myself and
I have to say that at the moment it is about the clothes... it's frustrating!

I stood in Walmart the other day just looking back and forth between Guy's clothes and Woman's clothes
and I have to say (especially to the GG's :) ) It is completely unfair! Men's clothes are boring & uncomfortable!

LOL

[4mymichelle]

The word enfemme is used in the*transgender and*crossdressing*community to describe the act of wearing feminine clothing or expressing a stereotypically feminine personality. That being said I believe wearing feminine clothing is more about how we want to be perceived by others. Ones own feelings can't be changed by clothing alone, it comes from within. Feminine clothing may just aid in this case.

[Frédérique]

It's not about the clothes

I know what you mean, but, if it wasn’t “about” the clothes, it wouldn’t be crossdressing, would it? I mean, it all began with the clothes (at least for some of us), and all other feelings stem from of this original, and highly profound, event...

"Feeling like a girl" whilst dressed may be the desired goal for the MtF crossdresser, and, when that blessed moment is attained, one may forget all about the clothes that helped to achieve this pinnacle of achievement. However, the clothes I worship are fetishistic objects, and I am a devoted fetishist, since I need my objects of devotion to scale the heights. Often I pass over any feelings I may be trying to generate by wearing women’s clothing, and just enjoy being wrapped in my “wrong” outfit. For me, crossdressing IS all about the dressing...
:clap:

[NicoleScott]

Yes, for some of us, it IS about the clothes................and shoes.....and makeup.......and wigs.........and jewelry...........and nails.........etc.

[dsmth]

For me it is the clothes to the extent that they allow a more personalized expression in my outward presentation based on how I feel mentally (my mood for example, or colours/textures/combinations I feel like seeing or trying out) at the time I put them on combined with how I want to feel both physically (light/slippery/held-tight/breezy) and how I suspect that sensation will help propel the mood that I'm trying to achieve in the end (sexy/focused/alert/dreamy/relaxed). So it is about expressing myself and the clothes are a mechanism to do that... unlike my male clothes which for the most part allow for very little in terms of expression/feeling/sensation/mood-affecting.

When dressing I ask questions of myself: How do I feel NOW? How do I EXPECT to feel later? How do I WANT to feel later? How can how I feel inside myself be EXPRESSED best? I like being able to ask these questions of myself and be able to use my unique creativity to achieve some concrete realization of the answers to these questions in a such a physically direct way on my BODY. Sure it means "wasting" a little time and mental energy up-front but it is nice to be able to do so if so inclined.

Certainly it isn't always so cerebral though... :)

[Taylor186]

Don't kid yourself, if you are a crossdresser it's about the clothes. Our motivations may vary but it's the clothes that facilitate the satisfaction of those motivations.

[nolafeet]

Oh girl, I am with you! It started with the shoes, then with the clothes, then the femininity...for me.

It's ALL about finally just being me after 30 years this last month I have found ME and bet I keep changing.