Bizarre Coincidence

[mollycd99]

I've been out to my wife for a few months, and while she's still not 100% ok with it, she's well ahead of the curve in accepting and supporting. I could tell that this was burdening her a bit, and she seems to benefit less from our joint therapy sessions than I do. So I took a deep breath and told her that I would be ok with it if she chose to tell one of her friends. This was pretty scary, since I'm not out to anyone in our community and the fear of it becoming common knowledge is pretty concerning. But she needed it so I gave her the green light.

Anyway, finally she opened up to a friend, one who she trusts a lot to be discreet. She told her friend the whole thing, in all its gory detail, because she really needed to get it off of her chest. When she was done, her friend responded:

"It may make you feel better to know that my husband does the same thing and has for many years. It's more common than you think!"

My wife was utterly blown away -- she never would have guessed. Suffice it to say that they had a long a therapeutic chat and bonding session, and I anticipate more to come in the future. And while it may be more common that people realize, but CDing is still not all that common, and what are the odds that the one friend she chose to tell is married to a CDer? Wild.

Also, my wife told me how utterly relieved she was to get that secret off of her chest, and I told her that she should imagine what it feels like to unburden yourself after 25 years. The sense of relief is off the scale. She had some real sympathy on that point.

[Wildaboutheels]

I don't think it's all too common for men to dress "fully" but apparently there are many other CD sites. "Bad sites" according to many here at this Forum. And apparently "many" manufacturers making WOMENS shoes in larger sizes? 13, 14, 15 or bigger? I could be wrong but I seriously doubt if many GGs are buying those shoes. [Larger dress/blouse sizes are another whole matter. There ARE plenty of "larger" GGs out and about these days.] No manufacturer is going to sell items that they can't sell at least hundreds of, if not thousands, unless it is some niche item.

There was a letter to Dear Abby or Ann Landers at least 10 years ago [if not far longer] where a lady asked about her hubby's underwear, lingerie and/or shoe fetish and she replied [even back then] that it was a lot more common than most people thought and that it did not mean anything at all was "wrong" with these guys. I don't remember anything at all being mentioned concerning dressing fully or going out.

When one takes the time to READ enough threads and pay attentntion to which threads and which pics "receive the most attention", the motive for most is easy enough to figure out. AGE also clearly plays a huge part in motive as a current thread so clearly illustrates.

Pavlov's dogs have nothing on most CDers.

[Angela Campbell]

I think it is a lot more common than anyone, even the people here think. The ones here have come out at least a little here, but how many have never come out to anyone? Not to their wife, family and no one on line. There are a lot of us who are even out and about in public, many on here that just do it at home, and there are at least that many more out there who do it in complete secrecy. I would not be surprised if there are somewhere in the range of at least 40% of men out there are interested enough with feminine items to have tried on something at least once in their lives and maybe even 20% who do so occasionally or even habitually. The problem is we will never know because this is something that is held so close and hidden so well that there is no way to ever know.

No matter...there are a lot of us out here. A lot more than most people would believe.

[Sallee]

I would agree I think is pretty common but since it causes lot of shame it is a deep deep dark secret for most.
Just look at the people here who don't post or never post their face on this site,
I think on a tg website the only ones here are those that CD to one level or another. If an acquaintance happened to come across your photo and recognized you I would say this is very very slim. If this were to happen the fact that they would admit that they landed on this site even by accident is even more slim and admitting they saw your photo and recognized you isn't going to happen OK maybe 1 in a 100 million.
I often wish some one would recognize me and bring it up but I would be so shocked if it happened I don't know what I would do.
For the record I am pretty much in the closet but the door is open, you just have to look. So if any one recognizes me let me know it is OK

[Sometimes Steffi]

Here's the statistics for today:

There are currently 167 users browsing this forum. (27 members & 140 guests)

Whay are there 5 times as many guests as members?

Are there that many people who can't even come out anonymously on-line.

[Eryn]

One of my observations is that we CDers are members of the most secret of secret societies, one in which we can't even acknowledge each other! You are very lucky that chance favored you wife and her friend and I think that some fun times are in your future. Having CDing friends really adds to the enjoyment of the experience.

[mollycd99]

If an acquaintance happened to come across your photo and recognized you I would say this is very very slim. If this were to happen the fact that they would admit that they landed on this site even by accident is even more slim and admitting they saw your photo and recognized you isn't going to happen

LOL - I was once browsing a M4M site and I found a profile posted by a co-worker who was at that time very much in the closet. Needless to say, I said nothing about it to him! And obviously, since I was browsing there for a reason, it didn't negatively impact my opinion of him. You are right, that anyone who should find me here probably shares my CD/TG to some degree and probably would view it more as a common bond rather than a terrible secret to be used as blackmail...

[Beverley Sims]

Molly, I am pleased for you that your wife found a friend who understands.
All you need to do is go slowly at your wifes pace and let her accept ALL that she has learned in recent months.
I wish you all the best for the future.

[Stevie]

That's awesome to hear. I might consider telling my wife to do the same, but I know the people she hangs around with.

[Ciara Brianne]

Way cool coincidence! Glad things worked out that way for you and your wife. Sounds like you may have found a friend to dress up with to boot.

Ciara:<3:

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, that IS a coincidence, Molly. They say maybe about one in 20 men CD.

Honestly, if u believe substancially more men than that wear women's clothes, I think you're dreaming!

For 50 years, before I began dressing, IT NEVER, EVER OCCURRED TO ME TO TRY ON WOMEN'S THINGS! After all, why would I or any vanilla man do that?

[Julie Gaum]

Molly, a wonderful thread --- the relief must have been fantastic! Having lived both south and north (Camano Island) of Seattle I would wager a bet that due to the tolerance shown to all life styles by both Seattle and the State I dare say that the percentage is probably a few percentage points higher than my closest estimate of the nation's underdressers and full of 4 -5%.
Future is definitely bright.
Julie

[Stephanie47]

Molly, I'm happy your wife's revelation found a sympathetic ear in another wife of a cross dresser. It took a lot for both of you to trust another person. The outcome could have been totally different.

Many years ago my wife asked me why I did not tell her. I asked her if she remembered the conversation she had with her female cousin over a mutual friend/co worker of her cousin. The husband and wife lived down the street. The wife found out her husband was a cross dresser. She kicked him to the curb so fast it would make your head swim. When you factor experiences in the real world the outcome is not like your outcome.

Molly, does your wife view her friend's husband differently now that she knows he is also a cross dresser?

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

My first thought is--- WOW! What are the odds of that happening?! At least your wife is probably feeling that a big weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. That's great! I'm sure she feels better!

I never realized it until someone told me that there were many CD's living in my small town. Even my hair stylist has told me there are more around than I know, and I respect her for keeping the confidentiality about her clients including me.

Now we have what, about 27,000 members on this site and how many visitors? What does that tell us?

Cheryl Ann

[Wildaboutheels]

One thing is for sure.

AFTER TONIGHT THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW. Or at least the folks who water here and pay attention or normal folks who will tune in to VH1 at 10p EST.

And then what? The sky is the limit and CDers will be coming out in droves???

Not likely but I imagine if nothing else, it will send a few GGs digging through their SOs' clothes drawers.

[mollycd99]

All you need to do is go slowly at your wifes pace and let her accept ALL that she has learned in recent months.


Thanks, yes. I have slowed down dramatically, and in fact haven't dressed in over a week. (Which has NOTHING to do with the fact that it's spring break and the kids have been home all week!) Honestly, she's brought it up more than I have recently. But you are right that slow and steady is the watchword.

[mollycd99]

Molly, does your wife view her friend's husband differently now that she knows he is also a cross dresser?

Well, we don't really know him. While my wife is very close to this friend, it's a woman she knows from her breast cancer support group. So they've bonded about that, but otherwise aren't exactly in the same social circles. But I don't think she would view him differently; just a guess.

[MissTee]

That's pretty amazing, Molly. I suppose the chances of that happening are much better than we're led to believe. Good luck!

[Tracii G]

That is amazing and has to be a relief to the both of you.

[Ceri Anne]

I don't think life could be much better than having my wife accept my fem side, and having a friend who's husband Cd's to confide with. In time this will open up so many oppertunities.

[SheriM]

It may not be all that coincidental - as said before, there are more of us out there than the stats indicate.