Some thoughts

[Emma Beth]

I sit here waiting on the dryers to empty so I can continue with our laundry, and I can't help myself.

I think deeply sometimes and I find it fascinating on occasion.

This time my thoughts go toward myself, as they have been a lot lately.

At this particular time, my thoughts meander toward self doubt. Doubts about weather or not I am Trans.

I have to have faith in myself that I am not wrong in my belief.

Now, I know that I do need to see a therapist and I plan to some time next year due to our current financial situation and there is another reason that I have this particular goal in mind.

I know myself well enough, that I need to give myself plenty of time to see for myself if this is the real thing or if it is something that I am fantasizing about.

My heart aches with this sometimes, like it does now. But, I know on all levels that I am in the right place for me at this time and everything will come together in its proper time.

I feel my true self slowly opening like the flower that I truly am. Sometimes I just wish I wasn't such a late bloomer.

My heart feels like it should be blooming with the other flowers already.

Thank you all for listening to my thoughts.

Hugs,
Jamie

[Angela Campbell]

I think doubts are a good thing and healthy. It shows intelligence to be considering all aspects. I never in my life doubted I was really a woman, or at least was supposed to be. My doubts have always been on the lines of what am I going to do about it. I think I just kept putting off the decision for a long long time.

[DaniG]

I understand where you're coming from, Jamie. I've only known for some months, and I had a lot of those doubts. I think you just need to keep questioning until your answers are satisfied. Getting into therapy as soon as is possible is the most important thing you can do. These are turbulent waters we're in, and difficult to navigate. If you're like me, then life has turned upside down, and what was once solid ground is now swirling waves around you. I never know what's going to happen from one day to the next, and rarely are the surprises pleasant. There's much wisdom to be gained from the others on this forum. Bring your questions here as they crystalize.

Godspeed on your voyage!

[Jessica Keys]

(Now, I know that I do need to see a therapist and I plan to some time next year due to our current financial situation and there is another reason that I have this particular goal in mind.)

Ha-ha been their done that with that kind of thinking.
If you are really true in your thinking you WILL make this happen.

Just for fun....look up the phone number of a therapist you might want to visit and give them a call just to see about cost/time.
Maybe you will surprise yourself and make a visit??

Me? I wish I would have made that same call years ago...but never did. Only to regret it now.

[Emma Beth]

Thank you Jessica, unfortunately we do not have a motor vehicle of any kind at the moment. I have already looked into a therapist and all of them are in either Fort Worth or Dallas. Both cities are too far for my bicycle just for an appointment and a cab would be far too expensive. Things are looking very good and I might be able to manage it before then, that is just my deadline, June of next year that is.