Why do people feel the need to go out?

[Brittany CD]

A common theme among crossdressers is the desire to go out. I've realized that it doesn't matter because it doesn't really change anything. I really don't understand why many feel the need to become their female selves and go outside. What do you think?

[kimdl93]

This comes up from the to time. For many of us, myself included, dressing at home feels confining. We crave human contact, just as most people do, and we realize a measure of satisfaction in being able to go out, blend in, mingle with others and, at least to some extent experience life as women.

I dress every day and I don't want to have to shift into male mode every time I need to run an errand, shop or go for a stroll. So I just go and let the chips fall where they may.

[Sara Jessica]

Whether this whole thing is who you are or something you do, you will never understand what it means to be social as a female until you actually go there. Just ask anyone who has cultivated such friendships in the real world. It's almost indescribable, it's beyond fulfilling on so many levels. But if you don't wish to go there, then don't. It's not a prerequisite to anything.

[PretzelGirl]

It all depends on what drives you. Some are quite content with being able to dress and they don't need to socialize in femme mode. Others feel like they aren't completing their needs unless they are out in the public eye being themselves without restriction. Both are completely right, you just have to decide what is right for you.

Myself, I get out all I can. I just feel like I am being me and I also love socializing with others. I don't believe I could turn back now.

[Jenniferathome]

It DOES change things. The well worn expression, all dressed up and nowhere to go, was probably coined by a cross dresser. For me, going out is a sort of validation of who I am. At first, it was kind of like shouting out your secret to the world without saying a thing. But now, that has changed. The more I have gone out, tt is comforting to be in the world of the "normals" as a "normal" woman.

[Lucy_Bella]

For some it's the subconscious desire of acceptance or the need of..

[Diana Bain]

I really don't understand why many feel the need to become their female selves and go outside. It's because who we are....to experience life!

[Karren H]

Because setting at home all dolled up is boring as hell! lol

[GinaM]

I think most of us have been dressing for so many years and we get to the point that dressing at home gets boring. We want that next thrill so stepping out of our comfort zones and going into the real world is simply a huge rush. I'm fairly new at going out and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.

[AllieSF]

Because setting at home all dolled up is boring as hell! lol

That says it for me too. I am a social person and need and want to socialize with others. Since crossdressing is so much fun for me I want to include that in my socializing. I understand why some don't want to go out of the safe confines of their house because of fear, repercussions from being read by someone they know and other reason's. Sometimes, I have difficulty understanding why someone would not want to go out if there would be no negative consequences for themselves and those that they love. I don't dwell on that because I respect everyone's decisions on how to live their own lives.

[I Am Paula]

There are a lot of girls, fetishistic dressers for example, who would not really benefit from going out. Some girls can just live in the fantasy of being a girl, and go going to Paul Abdul in their bedroom gets their yayas out. There are infinite variations in the gender spectrum, and not all involve being out in the real world.

Then there's the girls who want to, as fully as possible, experience the whole gamut of being a woman. Real women get the dry cleaning, coffee with the girls, and eat out. Without those, a big piece of the picture is missing.

There's no right or wrong, just go with what feels good.
Stuck inside I would wither up and die.

[Alison Felicia]

I would love to go out because as others have said, sitting at home gets boring. But I'm not passable at all (and I have no desire to be) so it's not going to happen.

[Michelle (Oz)]

I really don't understand why many feel the need to become their female selves and go outside.

Easily understood once experienced.


But I'm not passable at all (and I have no desire to be) so it's not going to happen.

The 'need' to be passable is perfectly understandable and comes from our fear of ridicule and our want to protect ourselves. It is more empowering to acknowledge that I don't pass which leads to a willingness to engage as a man in a dress. The real world is increasingly accepting of differences.

[Emjay]

I guess for me it is a sort of validation too. In a way, a big way, it's just getting to be me, this me. I love going out, meeting other people, just the experience of being out.

Being dressed at home is great, being out dressed is awesome! IDK, everyone is different and that's great. For me, I need the whole experience.

[Eryn]

Why do people climb mountains, jump out of airplanes or compose symphonies? Because it allows them to express themselves in ways that they could not otherwise.

That's not to say that everyone should climb, jump, or compose. It's a personal decision and many people are very content to express themselves through CDing privately. CDing is not a competition!

[AnnaBMarie]

There seems to be a lot of psychological implications to going out, but for me it was just an overwhelming desire to feel what a woman must feel walking along the sidewalk. To hear the sound of my heels echo and feel the sensation of the breeze blowing under my skirt. And yes, knowing that men are looking at my legs. The first time I came to an intersection and a man came up and said "great legs" I thought my heart was going to burst. I think this simply confirms that the broad spectrum that crossdressing spans contains many elements from the very simple to very complex.

[FelicityMay]

basically it is about being proud of who you are, and wanting to share it.
it can feel really scary to most people, knowing that you have a secret that might embarrass you in front of most people.
once you can face your fear, and stop caring about how you look, it can be a very rewarding experience to go out proud!

[Rachel Morley]

I've thought about it before, but I've realized that it doesn't matter because it doesn't really change anything.
Perhaps not for you but it makes a huge difference to me. Like others have said, for me too it's self validation that I am not doing anything wrong and I have just as much right to go out in the world doing my thing, dressed in whatever way I want to, just as much as anyone else. For me, being at home felt like I was "hiding" and somehow not fully acknowledging to myself, or the world at large, that this is who I am .... and that's ok.

Having said all that, once I went out I felt so liberated and happy (after the initial nervousness that is) and I had so much fun doing all things I like to do (going to the movies, going out to dinner, shopping at the mall etc) but I was doing it as my femme self which (for me) was a 1000 times better than doing those things in boy mode!

[Jilmac]

I can go out dressed in either girl or guy mode and be just as comfortable with myself. For me, it's not the need to go out dressed en femme, I just go out whenever the mood strikes me no matter how I'm dressed. Going out en femme is much more fun than in drab.

[ShyMichelle]

It was only a couple of weeks ago that I did go out for the first time. I wanted to go for a walk. But being outside is where I like to be anyway. It was scary though, and ended up being a disaster, but worth it. But each to their own.

[Rachelakld]

I go out, because I can.
While not passable except to a blind deaf person, I love socalizing, love shopping, love being around people.

Life for me is about participation.

[4mymichelle]

The need to go out in public has more to do with human nature. We are social beings, with a need to interact with others. Being enfemme and going out is just the way we want to present ourselves. If it gives us happiness that is the ultimate goal.

[suzy1]

I am with you on this Brittany. I have no need whatsoever to go out dressed.
What can get a little bit irritating sometimes is when other members just assume that we do really want to go out but we are afraid to but just won’t admit it.

It’s a bit like hitting your head against a wall trying to convince them otherwise.:eek:

And no Karren, I am not bored to hell!:)

[Kalista Jameson]

For me, it's not about a desire to go out so much as it is a desire not to stay inside. I am me and if I am okay with me, there is no reason to stay inside. If I purpose myself to never go out, in a way I feel I would be validating the notion that I shouldn't, and that isn't me.

Now, again, I've yet to go out, simply because my daughter is living with me and not in the place where she would be ready for this, which is fine with me. I feel no specific pull to go out at this time, but will when the timing is right without hesitation.

No rush, just a consideration for her. Of course she has no idea of how I will be dolled up in Vegas this Summer, only that I'm going to go hang out with my brother. That's gonna be my fun outing. Already got outfits picked out...:)

Cheers,

Kalista

[HannahF6]

I know there are very many different approaches. I'm with Karen that staying home would seem very boring to me. I do like getting out and being part of the community in either male or female mode. I realise that staying home may not be boring to others but that is something I could not tolerate for long.

Hannah

[Rebecca Star]

I don't go out as a woman, but some do..... I really don't understand why many feel the need to become their female selves and go outside.


It seems when this topic is raised, an imaginary line is drawn in the sand. The assumptions fly on those who do or those who don't. I simply accept we're not all the same.

If you don't like going out enfemme that's OK.

If you enjoy going out enfemme that's OK.

If you enjoy both, that's cool too!

[dominique]

For me the time had come to venture out. I spent many yrs inside, then something inside turned on and I had to follow that.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For many its about interaction with others some it would be how far can they go, both in look's & being able to be in the real world & not be detected,

Of cause some would never pass because of masculine features, no amount of makeup or what ever props one does need to be seen ...like ...a woman.

& many of cause do not wont to or be seen by others because of familys work or other details in thier life's.

Being accepted into women only groups is another matter, going where women are can be a major issue, so one needs to know the ...how ... far can one go . so as to not make others uncomfortable, so that needs to be remembered as well

So the ? of ...how far... does one need to go will depend on the person concerned & those around you.

...noeleena...

[TeresaCD]

I'm not sure, as I am in the process of venturing out soon.
I suspect, as someone I have talked with online has said, that it may be about interaction, being outside 4 walls
As said earlier, being passable is important to me, from a ridicule and a identity protection perspective.
Rebecca said it well too - each of us approaches all this differently...

[phlover]

There seems to be a lot of psychological implications to going out, but for me it was just an overwhelming desire to feel what a woman must feel walking along the sidewalk. To hear the sound of my heels echo and feel the sensation of the breeze blowing under my skirt. And yes, knowing that men are looking at my legs. The first time I came to an intersection and a man came up and said "great legs" I thought my heart was going to burst. I think this simply confirms that the broad spectrum that crossdressing spans contains many elements from the very simple to very complex.
I was surprised Anna told the exact truth for me. I really want to hear the clicking sound of my heels while walking on the sidewalk like other GGs. I want to feel the breeze passing through my short skirt or dress and the sensation that flapping and wrapping skirt around my pantyhosed legs gives. I really want to have girly talks with other GGs about everything common girls would have interest in, such as heels, skirts, dresses, jewelry, makeup, current fashion trends, and all the comments and advice on these issues by them.
In the past, I sometimes tried to go out en femme mostly at night when there's scarce chance of being caught by suspecting people. Sometimes I was outed by passing people and hurriedly retreated to my den in embarrassment. I think the main reason I go out en femme despite the danger is, for me, that I subconsciously enjoy the strong suspension and sensation that the possibility of being found out by others gives. I wish my appearance would be feminine enough to enjoy the sensation and satisfaction that going out and about in sensual dresses would provide me.

[Deborah Kaye]

For me it was the intense desire to take my femme self and go out into the public arena without hesitation. I just loved the idea of preparation, showering, close shaving, makeup, dressing and putting my gorgeous hairstyle one, slipping my girly wrist watch and necklaces on and confidently leaving the house to go out. Not merely to walk around in the mall but to walk into stores, actually shopping and buying shoes, etc. To experience the intense girly thrill that makes me shiver all over, repeatedly. To hear compliments on my outfit, hair etc. Oh my goodness! I can't wait to go out today!

[Erica Marie]

I have never been out amongst others and I am one of those who have the need to so bad, but fear and the appropriate place has held me back. Only one friend in my small town knows about Erica. Too many closed minded people around and Im just not willing to take a chance and be outed. So like others have said dressing at home is so confining and the need to be able to go out and express yourself gets stronger. Its who we are and it hurts that what cant be accepted.

[Lisa Gerrie]

To me it's pretty simple: if we like to do something, we naturally want to do it while dressed. I'm a life-long loner and love walking in the woods with my dogs, so I "feel the need" to go out and do that while dressed. I don't feel strongly driven to interact with other people when dressed or drab., so I don't seek that.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Here's a good analogy.

In the 15th century, most people (at least in Europe) thought that the world was flat.

But some people thought it was round. When it was confirmed to be round, that didn't change the experience of any of those who believed it was flat. But some people wanted to explore "other worlds". I can say that, for me, exploring other worlds is both scary and exciting at the same time. Kind of like crossdressing for the first time all over again. Probably the same thing Columbus felt.

So, whatever floats your boat.

[Karen_K]

I can only answer for myself, of course. But I enjoy going out and showing the world this side of me, and experiencing even mundane things as Karen. I like meeting others like me, and interacting with non-TG people too. Maybe the thrill will wear off at some point, as I haven't been out that much and have had no negative experiences so far, but showing myself and being accepted is a wonderful feeling.

[STACY B]

Maybe a 21 year old person should answer ? Us older ones wouldn't know ? Whole different Ballgame for us . You have lots more living to do . Good Luck !!

[Megan70]

Oh Ca..na.da, neighbor to the north...
Just as it was a kick, emotionally and sexually to get dressed at all in female clothes as a teenager, it was only heightened immensely when I found the exhilaration of going out public as 'passing' impersonating a woman. It took many years to perfect it and get it right but now i can't get dressed without going out, it does nothing for me at all. Dull, blasé, like taking a shower with socks on. If I'm going to go to all that work with clothes makeup and wig fussing then I'm gonna get all the bang for my buck that I can and make it worth my while
And the fact I have been going out publically for over 50 years is a real accomplishment for me that I am rather proud of.. You'll learn, time will come.
( Love Ontario.. especially Algonquin Park)

[Jamie Christopher]

For me going out dressed is simply intoxicating, staying at home is just.......staying home! I understand and feel for those that just can't do to though.

Jamie

[audreyinalbany]

The whole idea of clothing is a social construct, a way of presenting gender roles to others. Humans are not particularly dimorphic--the actual physical differences between males and females, other than genitals, is not really as pronounced as in many other animals. Look at the differences in plumage between many species of birds, for instance. Other than permanently enlarged breasts and somewhat wider hips, we humans are really pretty similar. So, socially, clothing becomes a way to differentiate the sexes. A logical outcome of that is that we naturally desire social interaction when dressed. If it were just you on a deserted island and you wore women's clothes all the time, would it really be cross dressing, or just dressing?

[rachaelsloane]

I have too many outfits and need to show them off, plus it's fun going out and interacting with people.

[Asche]

Perhaps not for you but it makes a huge difference to me. Like others have said, for me too it's self validation that I am not doing anything wrong and I have just as much right to go out in the world doing my thing, dressed in whatever way I want to, just as much as anyone else. For me, being at home felt like I was "hiding" and somehow not fully acknowledging to myself, or the world at large, that this is who I am .... and that's ok.
This pretty well describes how I feel.

I spent most of my life being brainwashed that I had to ignore my own feelings and perceptions and turn myself into what my betters thought I should be. It wasn't until I realized that I no longer wanted to live that I realized that I'd better stop listing to "my betters" and start finding out who I was and live as who I really am -- whoever that is. The past 10 years or so have been a daily struggle to find that self that has been lying locked in some forgotten punishment cell deep in the ruins of the dungeon of my soul for the past almost 6 decades. The skirts and dresses I wear are pieces of that forgotten despised self.

So going out, dressed as I do, is very important to me. It's my way of saying, no you can't erase me and make me an un-person, or make me erase myself any more. I won't pretend any more. Like the gay people who chant "we're here! we're queer! get used to it!" I'm saying, I am here, I am this way, I won't warp my self to fit into your little boxes any more.

Even if the enforcer thugs of gender norms beat me to death some day, as so many people here insist they will, it will be worth it if that self/child can spend even one day in the sunshine.

[Cheryl T]

Everyone has their own reasons for dressing. For some it's just a love of the clothes and for others like myself and many others it's a need to express a part of our being that finds itself complete when we are able to go out and interact with others.
Not everyone wants or needs to venture out of the house and I would never push anyone who doesn't desire it to do it. I just know that it has helped me unite all the facets of my being and brought a comfort to me I never had before.

[Lynn Marie]

If I'm going to go to all that work with clothes makeup and wig fussing then I'm gonna get all the bang for my buck that I can and make it worth my while.

Megan just knows how to turn an excellent phrase.

[Frédérique]

Why do people feel the need to go out?

It’s a challenge, for one thing, and going out does tend to heighten the experience of being dressed… :battingeyelashes:

[wilt575]

I
I think most of us have been dressing for so many years and we get to the point that dressing at home gets boring. We want that next thrill so stepping out of our comfort zones and going into the real world is simply a huge rush. I'm fairly new at going out and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.
I don't know what is meant by going out, social affairs or every day living. As far as the years go," boring" is the wrong word, natural, comfortable, normal is a better term after years. I just do everything any other person would in every day life, (shop, pay bills, errands etc) don't give second thought to being dressed. I inherited a small family owned business and yes most employes know about the head honcho girl. So don't have to worry about employer or job.

[Beverley Sims]

Going out is a progressive goal some of us want to achieve.

[AllyCDTV]

The few times I've gone out, about the only rush I got was from the thought of having a secret that I was getting away with. It was also kind of a thrill to get a smile from a guy checking me out. Still the experience of going out was so nerve wracking for me, the thrills that I got were not worth the anxiety I was experiencing.