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Melanie Sykes
04-24-2013, 01:25 PM
Scary episode today. Firstly, sorry if this reads a little clunky, but I'm typing on my phone in a service station. I had some time alone, away from home, in which to dress and do whatever I wanted. So amongst the other things I did, I drove to a beautiful spot called Barbury Castle, which is an iron age fort. I had never been (or even heard of it) before, but it was well signposted from the M4 and I when I saw the first sign I decided to pay a visit. I was dressed, with femme jeans, low heels, and a top that was not overly feminine.

The castle turned out to be a long way from anywhere, reached by a single track road about 3 miles long. The spot is very remote - there's a toilet building there, but nothing else. The car park was spilt into two parts separated by a small thicket of trees. In the first part, there were about ten cars, each with its boot (trunk) open with a cyclist putting together a bike. It was obviously a club. I drove into the second part of the car park. Here there were about five cars, all empty except for a man in a van. Two men were sat on a bench overlooking the spectacular view.

I decided to sit in the car for a bit and see who came and left before I got out. I'd noticed the guy in the van staring at me pointedly. Since I wasn't wearing an overly femme top, I had on no makeup or wig, AND I had a beard, I figured he couldn't know I was a CD. Still, he was obviously trying to make contact, but in a very odd way.I thought immediately that he might have arranged to meet someone there anonymously and thought I was his contact. So I pointedly ignored him and admired the view, fiddled with my phone and generally indicated by ignorance that I did NOT wish to make contact. After a couple of minutes he got out of the van and walked past the front of my car so he was in front and to the right of my view. He stuck his tongue out and put his left hand in his pocket and jiggled it for a while. There was no doubt what he was doing - he wasn't polishing his glasses. Every few seconds he'd suddenly snap his head towards me to see if I was watching. I ignored him again and he got back in his van.

I debated what to do. I was hoping the creep would leave - I was dying for a pee but there was no way I was going into the toilet block with him around. The two guys on the bench left after a while and I was effectively alone with this guy. I sat there for a good ten minutes ignoring him while he was doing things in the driving seat that made rhythmic noises even from outside the van, and he kept doing the head-snapping thing. Eventually I decided to leave, but as soon as I started my engine and began to reverse, I saw him rushing to put on his seat belt; he then started his van and reversed out of his space. What was he going to do - follow me home? I didn't fancy the idea of him following me down a single track road for miles. What if I broke down or he rammed my car? Also, as we hadn't actually communicated, there was a minute chance I'd misread things.

I swung the car around and shot around to the other part of the car park, hoping he'd not notice me hiding behind the thicket. The other cars were all there, but the cyclists had gone. There were two exits to this part of the car park, both leading eventually to the single track lane. He saw my car as he went past and slowed to a crawl, staring as if he didn't know whether to stop or not. Basically I'd forced him to show his hand - if he stopped or came into the car park there would be no doubt. So he crawled along for ages, in this appearance of indecision, until he was out of sight. He had seemed to be trying to read the situation. I turned the car around so I had good clearance to make both exits if he came back. Then I waited for about 20 minutes: waited for him to get bored of crawling, and to make sure he hadn't turned back. Then I left. As I was coming down the hill from the fort, I had a good view of the road for miles. He wasn't there. I made it back to the motorway without seeing him again, and hopefully I never will.

Thought I'd share this. If he acted like this thinking I was a dude, what might have happened if I'd been very fem? Possibly nothing. But in your eagerness to get away from it all to dress in peace, remember that lonely places can be dangerous. This happened at 4:30 in the afternoon: broad daylight. I'm 6'5": he couldn't have know that either, but I didn't look small in the car. People don't usually give me trouble. Take care.

DonnaT
04-24-2013, 02:37 PM
Yeah, you can never tell about some people.

Note that if the road is single track, and he had bad intentions, he could have blocked it with his vehicle. I think it would have been better to leave ahead of him.

Beverley Sims
04-24-2013, 02:51 PM
Having been there in the winter with no one around I took a pee behind a bush.
You would feel trapped the way you were dressed.
It was cold, wet and windy.
It was back to the M4 for me and I headed north.

BLUE ORCHID
04-24-2013, 03:05 PM
Hi Melanie, Safety first always err on the side of caution .

Tracii G
04-24-2013, 03:07 PM
Glad you made it out of there ok.
My Q here is if you never got out of your car how would he know what you were wearing so that is a moot point.
You had a beard so no mistaking you for a CD er right?
He sounds like a nut case either way.
Most anywhere I go in either mode I carry protection.

AllyCDTV
04-24-2013, 03:53 PM
When I drive past forest preserve parking lots, from the road I can often see guys sitting in their cars apparently doing nothing. If they are there just to commune with nature wouldn't it be better done outside the car or hiking along a trail? You really do have to be careful in remote places. You need to scope the place and see if there are any potential threats before putting yourself in a place where you might be vulnerable. If a predator is out there and decides you are a target, it won't matter if you are a gg or a guy in a dress. Glad things worked out for you.

ossian
04-24-2013, 04:03 PM
This is truly a scary story.

Twenty years ago when I was living in the SF Bay area I use to go to this coffee shop to study and there was a similar thing with a guy a lot older than me trying to make eye contact. Every day I would go to this coffee shop to get powered up on caffeine before class. I tried to ignore him, pointed staring, furtive smiles and eventually a blown kiss and a wink. I stopped going there for a couple of weeks. Eventually I went back because it was convenient and the coffee was fantastic. I sit down, he wasn't anywhere around. Awesome! I dig in a particularly nasty math problem and I was lost in thought when he sat down next to me and introduced him self. I told him I was busy and had work to do, he looked hurt and I left soon after. I remember being pissed off, thinking this guy is stealing my place! Next day I went back, and low and behold he again came up and tried to start a conversation. He was nervous and said he just wanted to talk to me and be friends. I told him I wanted to be left alone to study but he wouldn't leave it alone. So I just stopped going there all together. To this day, I get cold hands and it get a bit nervous at how persistent this guy was. What was he thinking? Why me? What did I do that he latched on? It was one of those experiences that felt like it could get unhinged pretty quickly.

I'm also amazed at your typing skills on the phone.

carolinewalker_2000
04-25-2013, 12:46 AM
I'd say you were lucky to get away so lightly. It must have been very scary and could so easily have turned out much worse. Your experience will make us all think more carefully about where we go to have some girly time outdoors.

mikiSJ
04-25-2013, 02:15 AM
I think what you encountered is called "dogging":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogging_(sexual_slang)

Melanie Sykes
04-25-2013, 03:57 AM
Hello again everyone - thank you for your replies! I think I did the right thing in waiting there for him to go. If he'd blocked the road, I'd have returned to the car park and called the police (there was a decent phone signal). Also, he'd have had to move to let the cycling club out in their cars eventually. And as the car park had two entrances I could have baited him at the further one and then driven quickly to the nearer one to reach the lane before him if it had come to that. Or, in a pinch, I could have rammed the van, which I'd prefer to to in a forward gear than in reverse. But if I'd left and let him follow I could have been in slight doubt about his intentions right up until he crashed into the back of my car. I wouldn't have had many options then.

mikiarata: Yes, it had crossed my mind that he might have been a dogger. He was a bit dog-eared ;-) But that was just harassment, not what I thought dogging was about. He could have been a sociopathic dogger - I don't know if the two go together or not: I've never knowingly met a dogger.

ossian: Wow. That must have been truly horrible. I know what you mean about questioning why he picked on you - I felt the same yesterday. It must have been awful having this happen repeatedly. At least mine was a one off. Thank you for the compliment on my typing: the phone is a Samsung Galaxy Note, with the Swype keyboard. It's about the best interface for typing you can get on a mobile device I think without actually having a separate keyboard. So it wasn't as labour-intensive as you might think, although it still took ages to write!

Beverley: It was lovely weather up there yesterday, but I wouldn't like to go in the winter. It's very exposed up there. I had no idea how isolated it was when I decided to follow the signs.

Chickhe
04-25-2013, 02:17 PM
The first thing you should do is take a picture of his number plate or jot down the number, time and place. You can always call the police later once you are in regular clothing which is probably worth it...you get the guys number in the police database which might help them solve another case.

Vickie_CDTV
04-25-2013, 02:58 PM
The minute you realize something is wrong, plan to get out of there. Have your phone in your hand ready to dial 999.
Remember, in an uneasy situation ask yourself, what would a GG do?

Next time, go to a populated center like a mall or such (where there is plenty of people, and plenty of cameras watching.)