Real world experience with other transsexuals

[Anne2345]

I visited and stayed with my friend Aprilrain and her partner Monday through Tuesday morning.

As with every other visit I have had with April, it was a good experience.

The fantastic hostess and friend that April always is, we usually hang out, go out to dinner, attend TS support group meetings, go out for ice cream or coffee with other TSs, and talk, talk, talk during my visits with her.

Every visit, every experience, every new person I meet, and every new TS friend I make during these visits has much meaning, and is quite important to me. I have taken away much from these visits, and learned much about myself and others in so doing.

Perhaps most importantly, I can really see these people behind all of the written words first hand and in person. I can sit down with them, look them in the eye, and see them for the real people that they are. We can talk, we can laugh, we can cry, we can just be, because they just are, and I just am.

My friend April is a real person. She is a beautiful, lovely, intelligent woman. Like many of you, she has been through much, and is working very hard to be herself. Her partner Emme is no different. She is a fantastic, beautiful transwoman with a perpetual smile, a witty sense of humor, and a love for life.

The other friends I have made through April and within the support group are also amazing.

But the thing is, as I have learned, they are all just people, just like I am a person.

Regardless, despite the varied and diverse backgrounds of these friends, we share something very important in common that brings us together in a way that others cannot appreciate or comprehend – we are transsexual, we want to feel and be right with ourselves, and we just want a shot at making life work for us while we still can.

Given the battle scars, the pain, the losses, the triumphs, the hardship, the risk, the need, and the love, as well as so many more things, these otherwise normal people are quite remarkable, and absolutely real.

As they say, seeing is believing.

In this, now that I am putting myself out there more and more often, and spending good, quality time with my TS friends, it makes all of this so very real in a way that I could not take away from spending time here in the forum, talking to my therapists, reading literature, or spending time in serious thought, reflection, and introspection.

The reality is that this is real.

Although this is a relatively simple concept and idea, it is made all the more powerful once witnessed and experienced in person.

Now I know, I know behind a shadow of a doubt, for better or worse, what is actually possible. These things are no longer just mere words, thoughts, ideas, theory, or fantasy. These things are real, and they are all very much possible.

And all of this, every single bit of it, is occurring in actual, legimate real-time life, and out in this world. It happens, it is happening, and it shall continue to happen.

Even more, I am beginning to get it now. I am beginning to understand it now.

What seemed absolutely impossible to me even not so very long ago now seems anything but impossible.

This, of course, is because nothing is impossible. The proof is out there.

I have to admit, I am a much better person for these experiences.

I also have to admit, I feel pretty damn good right now, and I know that I am doing the right thing . . . .

[kimdl93]

It's true, we...in the on line, social media sense are only one dimensional representations...mock ups or simulations of the people we are in real life. No matter how open or honest we try to be with each other....there so much of each of us that simply can't come through...the inflections of voice, the facial expressions, the body language, the spontaneous giggles, the interactions with partners, the three dimensional view of ourselves and our worlds. It's wonderful to hear that you've transcended that one dimensional existence and met April and partner in their natural habitat...and I gather felt right at home.

[Eryn]

The greatest gift that we can give anyone is the gift of acceptance. That fact that i am on the TG spectrum means that I have empathy for others on the spectrum. I don't identify as TS but my shared experiences with TS friends bring us close in ways that Muggles have a difficult time comprehending.

[Ann Louise]

What you say Anne is so true and beautiful and empowering. I know that some of our sisters here are confined by circumstances or maybe that, and a mixture of fear and apprehension, too, from reaching out and finding other transwomen. It makes me cry to think of that.

My first TS group meeting I went almost all in drab, but those dear girls listened to my "check-in" and made me feel so loved and welcome anyway that I cried tears of joy all the way home.

I would urge any of the girls here who can even remotely imagine that they'd maybe want to talk to other girls like us to do just that. You are not alone. We are waiting out here to support you and love you.

Sincere hugs, Ann Louise

[arbon]

It is real. And scary (it was for me).

I like my trans group (mostly) when I can go, which is not very often because it is some ways away. I always feel a little more normal around them for some reason. I am trans among other trans - where as in day to day life I am like the oddity, the trans amongst the regular folks, on my own.

Going out to dinner after is my favorite part. The first time, which was also my first time "out" for real, I was scared beyond belief. I noticed the wide eyes of everyone and the staring and giggling and smirking at us - I was so focused on everyone else in the restaurant and their reaction to us, especially to me! now when I go I don't ever notice it, I think most of it was my imagination maybe lol.....but if there is a new girl that has not been out before or not often in the group I'll see her nervousness and her eyes darting from table to table at people trying to seeing if they are watching us. In the group though she is safe, and see's everyone elses confidence and lack of concern about what everyone else thinks or how they react to us, and after a few times out she does not pay any attention to them either. Its kind of interesting to see people grow and change.

[Angela Campbell]

Joining the two groups I am in was beyond doubt the best thing I ever did for myself. It is good to finally see that you are not alone. It is the only reason I am able to go out in public now, because of being able to go out with them I felt safe and over time it was easy enough to be able to go it alone. Being with them gives me a dose of reality and being able to see that what I want is possible. I see the ones living the life and I know it can be done. They tell me about it and how they did it. They welcome me to their world. They understand.
I never really had friends before this and now I have a few.