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PaulaQ
04-25-2013, 01:11 AM
So I had an interesting day today. I had to take my car into town for service, and I planned to attend my first transgender support group meeting, later that evening. So I had several hours to kill - so I did what any girl would do - I went shopping!

I went to Avenue and Lane Bryant. Shopping was fun, especially once I got a SA to help me at Avenue. I was a little intimidated at first, but once I started trying on stuff, I wasn't too worried. (I was in male drab, although I brought my forms with me, to insure fit.) I found that my "I don't give a crap about what other people think" mental filter quickly went to work. I didn't really even have a problem while trying on various women's shoes while women, and their spouses, were in the same area. I'm sure they looked at me - it's be hard not to. I'm sure I was a sight - a dude with orange toenail polish, and heels and sandals. However, "I didn't give a crap what they thought." I ended up buying some cargo pants, jeans, capris, and several tops, and two pairs of shoes. (note to self: need purse.)

I met my wife for dinner, still in drab, since she doesn't want to see this stuff, and we had an OK time. I think I upset her - I don't know that she was super thrilled that I was going to a transgender support group meeting. She went on to her class, and I went back to her hotel room, and changed into the cargos, a pink blouse, and bra. (I left off shoes and forms and my wig to leave the hotel.) This was a little cowardly. I had ZERO time to apply makeup, and still make my meeting, so I went without.

I drove to the center where the meeting was held, slipped my forms into the bra, put on my wig, and changed shoes. I really regretted not having time to apply makeup, but I figured, well, I'm here, and I really don't want to present for the first time as "that other guy - the one I hate so much", so in I went. This was nowhere near my best presentation. I'm not great at makeup, but it still helps a lot, and without it, well, yikes. But hey, I was there, I was cross dressed, and while I was a little nervous when I got out of my car, I found, very quickly, that my "I don't give a crap what anyone thinks" filter switched on really fast.

So the group itself was great. There were three of us who were new to the group. I was one of the three oldest people in the room. There was one FtM and her partner, several MtF's, and three GG's. I believe I was the only TG person in the room not on hormones. I met a couple of fully transitioned girls who'd transitioned really young - had they not told me, I'd never have guessed they were transwomen.

I met a lot of really nice girls. I'd never met another transgendered person in the flesh. We talked about our weeks, I told a little bit of my story - way shorter than I bore y'all with, talked about my relationship with my wife this week, and listened to everyone else. I was gratified to find that a lot of the experiences and feelings I have are not especially unique.

One thing about the experience - I was surprisingly at ease walking around in the center while cross dressed. I dunno - it just didn't seem weird to me. I wished I'd had time to fix my face, but other than that, I was fine.

The group was really accepting. Hey, I even got compliments on my wig! I stayed around after the meeting for half an hour, or so, and talked to several other girls. This was great!

I decided to not bother switching back to drab for the drive home, so I drove en femme back home. My wife isn't home tonight, so this was fine.

I'll have to figure out logistics for the next group meeting, I'd like to be in makeup next time.

Rachelakld
04-25-2013, 01:40 AM
Well done,
This morning I spent 60 seconds putting on foundation, 30 seconds on mascara and 15 on lip stick.
OK, it was only McDonalds for a coffee, read the paper and update my blog, and there were only about 40 kids and 30 adults

PaulaQ
04-25-2013, 02:02 AM
Thanks Rachel - it was a little scary dressing outside of my house for the first time.

Yeah, I need to become a lot more efficient at applying makeup before I can match your time. I probably need more makeup than you do, though! I have a lot of work ahead of me...

Angela Campbell
04-25-2013, 07:03 AM
It gets even better as you get to know them too.

arbon
04-25-2013, 09:42 AM
Good for you Paula, it will become more comfortable with the more you do it.

EmilyPith
04-25-2013, 01:12 PM
Congratulations on your success!! Isn't it funny, you spent more time worrying about your makeup than going out dressed! Good for you!

Geena75
04-25-2013, 02:09 PM
Yes, well done! and it's good to hear you happy.

Geena

Beverley Sims
04-25-2013, 02:11 PM
I am glad your first time out was so successful.
May you have many more.

boink
04-25-2013, 02:19 PM
But hey, I was there, I was cross dressed, and while I was a little nervous when I got out of my car, I found, very quickly, that my "I don't give a crap what anyone thinks" filter switched on really fast.
This filter can make all the difference in the world.

Glad you had a good experience and were able to feel confident going out. That's a big step. Ditto to going to the support group, hope you can work through your wife's concerns about that.

Jenni Yumiko
04-25-2013, 02:40 PM
Wow, been a very eventful couple weeks for you! Kudos!

TeresaCD
04-25-2013, 03:42 PM
Way to go. Paula! Glad it was a positive experience.

NurseSamGG
04-25-2013, 05:38 PM
Paula.....sweetie I'm so proud of you and so happy things are going well! I haven't heard from you in a bit and I was thinking about you and how your wife were doing since the whole talk. I must say when I read this post from you I was sooo happy I almost got out of my chair to start clapping......seriously! But I restrained as I'm at work.....lol.

So happy for you sweetie. .....truly happy!!!!
Hope to talk to you soon, just such the busy lady you are.

Xoxo....Sam

Stevie
04-25-2013, 05:54 PM
Paula I'm so happy for you. You are moving forward in leaps and bounds.

flatlander_48
04-25-2013, 09:23 PM
The group was really accepting. Hey, I even got compliments on my wig! I stayed around after the meeting for half an hour, or so, and talked to several other girls. This was great!

Repeat after me:

I am NOT alone...

Now, once more with conviction!

Kalista Jameson
04-25-2013, 10:32 PM
Congrats, Paula, on the big step. Takes guts to go out and do your thing. Glad it was a good experience for you. :)

Cheers,

Kalista

mollycd99
04-25-2013, 11:08 PM
Make up is still something of a black box to me. Will need rather a lot of practice to get it right, but at this time it is a great unknown.

BlairP
04-25-2013, 11:30 PM
Where is your support group? Just curious. I live in Los Angeles and if anybody out here knows of a support group please let me know.

Taylor Ray
04-25-2013, 11:40 PM
Sounds like a great experience and very integrated, PaulaQ. I haven't had many positive experiences in public. My first experience dressed (age 19) was going to a sex shop to watch movies in a theater that sat 24. I was accepted but was considered "out there" by my friends and others. In college I dressed to the nines and went to the mall; several people laughed at me, including a mother and daughter, which was very embarrassing.

Recently I only go out for dates after midnight, so the experience isn't really public. I am wondering about other forum members inclinations to be in public.

PaulaQ
04-26-2013, 01:30 AM
In college I dressed to the nines and went to the mall; several people laughed at me, including a mother and daughter, which was very embarrassing.

The best thing to do is to learn to just ignore it, and not give a crap what people think. This is actually fairly hard to do - but it gets easier with practice. I'm luckier in some ways than others here, I think, I am used to people staring at me all the time anyway, because I've been handicapped all my life, I walk *really* funny, and so people just look at me. I'm weird looking - why wouldn't they look? This used to make me furious, embarrassed, sad, all sorts of things when I was a kid. Now - I don't care.


Recently I only go out for dates after midnight, so the experience isn't really public. I am wondering about other forum members inclinations to be in public.

I can't speak to anyone else, but for me, I'm trying to figure out to what extent I want to be female. Maybe it's not very much. Maybe it's a whole bunch. Gotta go out and learn to experience the world to figure that out.