Where does the 'ol man in a dress use the restroom?

[Jason+]

It seems the bathroom has gotten a lot of attention lately. From people being thrown out of stores and banned from returning to ludicrously unenforceable laws to the antics of Richard "Mudhole" Floyd.

Lots of threads have shown the wrong places for the wrong people to go. One response to a thread brought up an individual near and dear to my own heart.

Please understand I have no axe to grind with the original author of the comment and agree with portions of it. What I have quoted here is the part I believe relevant to my question.


I was merely defending states' rights to power. This, in hindsight, I realize was the wrong issue to do so, simply because I do believe this law is infringing on a personal freedom, particularly in that it apparently states the gender as indicated on a birth certificate. We are not talking about a hairy guy in a shiny gold lame dress here. You cannot reasonably expect someone that is transitioning, transitioned, or even presentable as one sex to use the restroom of the opposite sex they are presenting as, that just can't end well and would likely cause more trouble than just quietly going about your business and going along your way. The law actually creates the conditions for personal danger and violence instead of trying to prevent it.



Where does our hypothetical hirsute man in his shiny gold lame dress or the very real and cutely dressed person who turned around to reveal a full beard in a recent thread use the restroom?

In the womens room other than a completely private one it seems pretty reasonable to invoke the "when in Rome" standard of ensuring your toes are pointed in the expected direction.

What's the proper etiquette if the correct place is the mens room?

At home is an acceptable answer for on the way out the door or upon returning but doesn't address while out. Please no snarky "don't go outs" either. :D

I am likely to offend somebody's sensibilities no matter which I choose. Since I am a man the answer for me has been the mens room.

Your thoughts?

[boink]

As far as I'm concerned you use the bathroom you are most comfortable with. As long as you're being respectful of others who are/aren't in there, and do your business and move along I don't see an issue with it. Now admittedly that doesn't mean someone else won't take issue with it, but that's my policy and I'm sticking to it. If I'm out en femme I'm using the women's restroom every time.

[arbon]

I have such mixed feelings about male identified crossdressers using the women's.....

but anyway, definitely if you have a beard and can't sit to pee don't use the women's room! If you are using the mens room I would think it would be more comfortable to use the stall then the urinal if you are all dressed up.

[I Am Paula]

I consider myself fairly presentable, but washrooms can still be a hurdle. In a restaurant, where there is little likelyhood of a crowd in the restroom, just use the ladies. If it's a family restaurant, hope for a handicap, or family washroom. At a mall, dept. store restrooms are usually deserted. Use the ladies. Stay away from the public one closest the food court. Kids, and therefore over protective parents, galore. At an event that there is alcohol served, a rowdy crowd in a 'straight' bar, quietly ask if there is a staff washroom you can use. An empty bottle in your car may save the day, but be careful about who may see you. You don't need an indecency charge. In a park, ONLY use a single seat mobile. Parks actually have 'perv patrols', usually low ranking policemen who forgot their gun in the McDonalds restroom one too many times. Their life is boring, so catching a CD in the ladies will make thier day.
Most importantly- Act like you belong there, do your business sitting down, wash your hands and leave. Do not engage the GG's, do your makeup, or scribble trans limericks on the walls.

[Jason+]

:laughing:
I have such mixed feelings about male identified crossdressers using the women's.....

but anyway, definitely if you have a beard and can't sit to pee don't use the women's room! If you are using the mens room I would think it would be more comfortable to use the stall then the urinal if you are all dressed up.

No beard here! :laughing: Have to agree with you on the stall. My personal thought is the mens may continue to be my better choice.


I consider myself fairly presentable, but washrooms can still be a hurdle. In a restaurant, where there is little likelyhood of a crowd in the restroom, just use the ladies. If it's a family restaurant, hope for a handicap, or family washroom. At a mall, dept. store restrooms are usually deserted. Use the ladies. Stay away from the public one closest the food court. Kids, and therefore over protective parents, galore. At an event that there is alcohol served, a rowdy crowd in a 'straight' bar, quietly ask if there is a staff washroom you can use. An empty bottle in your car may save the day, but be careful about who may see you. You don't need an indecency charge. In a park, ONLY use a single seat mobile. Parks actually have 'perv patrols', usually low ranking policemen who forgot their gun in the McDonalds restroom one too many times. Their life is boring, so catching a CD in the ladies will make thier day.
Most importantly- Act like you belong there, do your business sitting down, wash your hands and leave. Do not engage the GG's, do your makeup, or scribble trans limericks on the walls.

Celeste,

I am as presentable as my avatar. :) Based on that and how I identify I'll stick with the mens room for now. While I've had limericks written about me, I've never penned one myself in bathrooms or otherwise! :D

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you are presenting yourself as a male, in terms of gender cues regardless of what one is wearing, use the men's room.

However, for someone presenting male but wearing what is viewed as "women's clothing", the best answer is: Whenever possible, use a single user, private restroom; make note of what place has them, and you can use resources like safe2pee.org to find them as well.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Ill let our grandaughter answer as she would & has, age now 10 y 5 m,

I take her into the womans toilets no issues . then a dresser comes in & Dejarn says thats a man im not comfortable while he's here, so she gets as close to me as posibale .

so as you see Dejarn will tell me & we take it from there,

Another time at a swimming pool i go in to the womens changeing room with her no issue on the return one of the suppervisers says to me it maybe better to change in another single changeing room ,,,myself ....oh ... because a women saw me & said to her i was / am a male. . again ...oh . so i said to the supperviser well thats odd im a female , she was taken aback & could not answer me , she was then distracted by another issue that came up.

so a while later i wrote a nice letter to give to the women that run the large pool complex about myself . they said we allready know you & have done for many years, there is no problem never was or will be we know your a woman ,,oh wow, so the letter was put on the news board for others to see & read so they will all know ,

Im a female / woman who has masculine facial features, so there are some who are ? ing because of facial featuires, so there you go.

At the pool no one else who saw me had an issue & i talked with others in the changeing room.

Its not allways the clothes you wear womens or mens its facial features manirisms how you carry your self how you interact with other women & just the demener of your self yes some of us have disadvantages i do, & i know of other women if you dressed them in male you could not say they were women even thier voice was very male, so we come in all shapes & detail about us,

There are some men here who wear close as to womens skirts they are not trying to fool any one just what they wear,

We have here many places that are both so its not an issue its not divided like the Male block is over there & womens here, all there is , is a M or W , on the doors, so its not an issue.

...noeleena...

[Beverley Sims]

Jason,
In your case, I would suggest a unisex or disabled toilet.
I do understand what you are on about here.
You are going to get ALL the answers on this one so, I would not rattle anyone's chains.

In the meantime, just cross your legs.

[SheriM]

If I am wearing female clothes but presenting as a male, I use the mens room or the family room if there is one.
If I am in full female mode with skirt, wig, earrings, etc, I will first look for a family restroom. If there is not one available, I would use the women's restroom. I don't think it would be a good idea to wear a skirt and go into a men's room. With that said, I would not linger in the ladies room. Get in a stall as quickly as possible, especially if there are other women in the room. Go in, do your chores and get out. Walk in with confidence but don't make contact and certainly don't stare.

[linda allen]

Jason,
In your case, I would suggest a unisex or disabled toilet. .......

That's the best solution for all of us when available. Very few of us will pass as females up close under bright lights.

My personal belief is that if you're trying 100% to pass as a female and do reasonably well at it, in the absence of a family, unisex, single user, etc. restroom, you pretty much have to use the ladies room. You may make an ugly woman but you'll certainly be out of place in the men's room. The exception to this might be a Halloween or costume party where most people know you are really a male.

If you are the guy who goes out unshaven, with a bald head, but wearing a dress or skirt with or without breast forms, I would say you are pretty much out of luck. The ladies restroom is out of the question, you are obviously a man in a dress. If you're big enough, just use the men's room and dare anyone to say anything. If not, just try to find one that's not crowded and get in and out as quickly as possible. Or go pee behind the dumpster in the alley.

[Jackie7]

It's quite liberating to stride into the men's room and up to the urinal, hike your gold lame dress up and let fly.

[sometimes_miss]

:) I walk into the woods and use a tree.

[famousunknown]

Where does our hypothetical hirsute man in his shiny gold lame dress or the very real and cutely dressed person who turned around to reveal a full beard in a recent thread use the restroom?

In the privacy of your home. period.

[Jason+]

Thank you to those of you who have provided at least a recommendation of bottles, trees or dumpsters and the best solution other than the mens room of the unisex or handicapped rooms.



Where does our hypothetical hirsute man in his shiny gold lame dress or the very real and cutely dressed person who turned around to reveal a full beard in a recent thread use the restroom?


In the privacy of your home. period.






At home is an acceptable answer for on the way out the door or upon returning but doesn't address while out. Please no snarky "don't go outs" either. :D



Since I asked politely for no snarkiness Famousunknown I'm not going to respond with any. The question is valid for a lot more of us than you may be aware of or comfortable with.

[linda allen]

Not a man in a dress, but on one of my first times out, trying to pass, I went to the parking lot of a large park that wasn't crowded, parked at the far end of the lot, went around to the other side of the car, opened the door for a shield, pulled my skirt up and my panties down, and did my business on the ground.

Something I forgot in an earlier post, there are a couple public parks in my nearby city that have portable toilets. These, of course, are single user. Not all that clean and tidy, but a place to relieve yourself if you have to go.

If possible, scout your area out in advance and make a mental note of possibilities.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

If out presenting as a guy in a dress trying not to pass, I would suggest using the men's restroom. There's too much potential for a bad encounter to occur using the women's restroom, think a group of teenage girls entering just as you are and imagine everything that can and will go wrong, and probably also end up on face book and twitter.

When using the men's restroom of course keep the normal men's restroom protocols, of

1. Try and find a stall, especially if you suffer from "stage fright" or "bladder shyness" like me.
2. If you do go to the urinal, eye's straight ahead, no conversation with anyone, handle your business, think about baseball and flush always.
3. Wash your hands, dry them, and try to avoid touching the door with your hands when leaving. Wet door knobs are an especially nasty breeding ground for bacteria.
4. Of course keep in mind your location, going to your interstate truck stop/rest area restroom during the late night, early morning can lead to some very unfortunate situations or people assuming your using the restroom for something other than potty time.
In that case keep an empty laundry jug in your car.:2c

[marny]

I've noticed many places that have bathrooms that aren't gender specific. Look for one of those and vote with your wallet. ( Opps, purse!) :lol:

[Jason+]

If out presenting as a guy in a dress trying not to pass, I would suggest using the men's restroom. There's too much potential for a bad encounter to occur using the women's restroom, think a group of teenage girls entering just as you are and imagine everything that can and will go wrong, and probably also end up on face book and twitter.

When using the men's restroom of course keep the normal men's restroom protocols, of

1. Try and find a stall, especially if you suffer from "stage fright" or "bladder shyness" like me.
2. If you do go to the urinal, eye's straight ahead, no conversation with anyone, handle your business, think about baseball and flush always.
3. Wash your hands, dry them, and try to avoid touching the door with your hands when leaving. Wet door knobs are an especially nasty breeding ground for bacteria.
4. Of course keep in mind your location, going to your interstate truck stop/rest area restroom during the late night, early morning can lead to some very unfortunate situations or people assuming your using the restroom for something other than potty time.
In that case keep an empty laundry jug in your car.:2c

I think for me at least skirt or dress is an automatic stall use. Hiking a skirt up and bellying up to the urinal is more than I'm willing to make John Q. suffer through. :)

Cleanliness, both personal and if you make a mess ought to be more standard than they are.

Location, Location, Location! High quantities of teenagers of either sex never turned out well for me growing up before skirts so I tend to avoid them now. I go to the mall when I have to. I will also continue to avoid early morning truck stop bathrooms and biker bars altogether (even if many of the bikers are nice) whether skirted or not. :D


I've noticed many places that have bathrooms that aren't gender specific. Look for one of those and vote with your wallet. ( Opps, purse!) :lol:

I'll solve this issue when I open my own bar. I'll be working for me so it will be harder to get fired for a dress code violation and the two available restroom door choices will be painfully clear no matter who or what you are. One for "sitters" and the other for "standers."

[famousunknown]

The question is valid for a lot more of us than you may be aware of or comfortable with.
No, I really don't think so.
But here's a valid suggestion - get a catheter.

[Jason+]

I read through the 199 of your posts available to me through your profile. It's unclear to me exactly where you fall in the TG spectrum but one thing screams out loud and clear. There is a great deal more unhappiness and dissatisfaction with your life than I have in mine and I do not envy you that one bit.


No, I really don't think so.
But here's a valid suggestion - get a catheter.

Your opinion is duly noted. You did provide half a solution so my reply will be only half sarcastic. Unless you are offering your pocket for the free end of the proposed catheter (in lieu of your bowl of Wheaties which life has obviously thoroughly covered) I'm going to need a little more from you.