*sigh Wish I was invisible....

[Tilly Vega]

Usually I'm not one to show much emotion,but there are points when I slip. I'm starting to feel like an ugly girl, instead of a decent looking man. Ive had to quit my job(physical assault by manager),car is down,and I have nothing going for me. Crossdressing is the only thing I have that makes me happy,but I'm no longer seeing myself as a guy wearing women's clothing. I'm seeing myself as a woman wearing boys clothing. I just feel like everything is falling apart.

[Nikki A.]

Tilly, things can often look bleak, but things can and will change. Stay strong and keep plugging on and remember you have a whole bunch of friends here to lend an ear. We've all been through trying times and somehow we muddle through.

[Megan Thomas]

Sounds to me like you might need to explore if you're a transsexual rather than a crossdresser, so seek some counselling or help from support groups in your area. Also, circumstantial depression is as serious as any other type although there usually is light at the end of the tunnel because circumstances change. Yours will too eventually. Focus on finding work and keeping your mind occupied as much as possible will help.

Good luck!

[Beverley Sims]

When you get depressed you blame your situation on your depression.
It is a never ending circle, are you able to dress often do your close friends know or are you living alone and friendless somewhere.
Tilly, you need to confide in a friend or relative for a start.
It can be easier to confide in a casual friend if they do not know many others around you.
They will usually give you some moral support when you are down.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

if you can do it, find a therapist that can help you..
your feelings are not common among crossdressers, but are common among transsexuals..

people often have an internal dialog and view of their nature that evolves over time...

you want to nip this in the bud if you can... find someone you can relate to and let it all hang out.. you want support regardless of whether this is depression around crossdressing or something related to your actual gender identity...
the options to feel better about yourself are different so it can be helpful to put serious effort in understanding yourself..is this about dressing? presenting better? being?? those are all very different things..

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Tilly, Most of us (maybe all of us?) have had those days where nothing seems to be going right. Just remember, it will pass. Tomorrow is another day. It might be the same and it might be different. Moods and circumstances change. As a few have said, maybe you need a one-on-one talk with a trusted friend or a counselor. None of us can really diagnose your condition or give you magic answers. You might need to deeply explore all of your feelings. Take care of what you can physically do such as your car and job.

Cheryl Ann

[kimdl93]

My advice would be to get out of the house, find any job that you can ..except those with abusive bosses...until you find something better, and engage yourself in life. Your sadness may well derive from isolation and self negating thoughts. The best way to conquer them is to force yourself to do things.

[Danielle_cder]

Hey GF! Chin up think how lucky u are, there are some people out there in our country and across the world who dont have an outlet like we* do. They either cant afford the clothes/accessories to further their girl, or even have a computer to get to our little corner of the net. We are here for you dont get down.

working in the oil fields as a pipe welder...i got/get my a** kicked a lot, been choked out had dislocated fingers, black eyes none of which is very fem. people out there can b really physically mean. Hopefully you work were they will take some action on your managers a**.

go put some forms on, grab up some comfy pj's, get a glass of wine, and put romancing the stone on;)

have a better day!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I understand how you feel, especially when there are employment/job issues.
Remember the saying, "behind every strong man, is an even stronger woman" be it wife, mother, daughter, etc. Let the woman within you take care of and give strength and support the to male which is visible to the outside world, he needs you (girl side) now more than ever be his source strength and pride.:2c:

[Kalista Jameson]

Hi Tilly,

Hey, don't be so down on yourself my friend. Part of what really makes me happy with myself is that I got to a place where I realized and embraced the idea that I am a spirit, a soul, at my core, and that everything else, though a part of me, is an extension of me. This includes crossdressing, how I am as a coworker, a father, friend, etc. I have learned to separate the core of who I am from the externals in my life and the things I enjoy. Whether or not I am good, bad or somewhere in between at something does not change the core of who I am.

You should realize that the core of you are is far more valuable than the external things such as how you see yourself, as a boy, TGirl or whatever.

I remember once seeing an interview with Slash, I think it was slash, back when Guns 'n Roses self imploded, and he was asked that if he suddenly wasn't able to play guitar anymore, like from an accident or something, what would he do? He answered to the effect of that he could not go on and would take himself out. I remember thinking to myself how sad and misguided that was. I felt bad for him that he saw his only value as being a guitarist and not the man that he was.

See yourself better than him in outlook. Regardless of our stations in life, our skills, our talents and appearance, we are far more than the external things. We tend to make those externals the defining things to our existence, when this is a house of cards. Place your value on the kind of person you are. If you are kind, honest, loyal and care about others, then you are far more than you think of yourself. If you see yourself like that, then you can lose a hundred jobs and cars and it won't change a thing about you. If you lack in those areas, like we all do, spend your energy there. You'll be surprised at how much is within you.

I've been where you are at, and there is hope. Don't lose it.

Cheers,

Kalista

[Tilly Vega]

I am really trying to adapt to my circumstances. My main issue is not having a operational vehicle. I live too far from town,and I don't own a bicycle,and buses dont run a route anywhere near me. Its this issue that prevents me from upgrading my situation. I really do appreciate the advice :) You girls are the closest I have to friends. I don't like having close friends,or relationships,and the only person I sort of talk to is my grandmother. Actually my posts here are the most I care to share my thoughts. Im glad that I have some support here. Oh I do have issues at times with my appearance,but its because I have no personal money to spend on improving my appearance. Things will get better I'm sure. Its all a matter of how much effort I make to correct them :)