Ciara Brianne
04-26-2013, 10:14 PM
I initially answered this question in a private message as it wasn't really on topic of the thread wherein it was asked. In her reply she related that she found my story and my honesty inspiring. In light of that, I have decided to post my reply here for all in hopes that it will help others as well.
Ciara:<3:
Very interesting point you make, Ciara, about coming out. I understand in the context of an intimate partner, but am curious about your desire to tell friends, family, and the world.
in response
My desire to tell friends, family, and the world stems from too many years of hiding who I am. I have struggled with this for many years and the internal conflict created chaos and confusion in my life. The stress I have endured from all this was devastating. Add that to all the other trials and tribulations of the past decade and its a miracle I'm still in one piece or at least I still have all the pieces.lol I have lied about it for too long, I never liked having to do so, but I was afraid of the costs if I was found out. I'm at a crossroads in life. I will be moving. Where to I do not know exactly. I know from past experience that leaving means losing some friends. Only my true friends will keep in touch. Only a true friend will accept me unconditionally...and that type of friend is rare. If I out myself, I will find out who my true friends are. I will also make new friends. I recently had my first real outing en femme. I Went out to a club dancing. It was awesome! I had a blast and made a couple new friends who were accepting, supportive and definitely a little curious. One of them wants to use my story for her thesis. I think the process of helping her with that will be very therapeutic for me.
I have no idea what reaction my family will have. When I am ready, I will tell my brother and hos wife. I would just tell my brother, but I know how close they are. They share everything, so I might as well plan on telling them both at the same time. I know they will have so many questions.
I started dressing when I was in my early teens. I was caught wearing tights and a leotard when I was like 14. My families reaction was not pleasant. As it was growing up, I got teased a lot due to a stronger than average feminine side. people would say things like; "Why do act like a girl?'" "Why are you walking like a girl?" I was galled a sissy, prissy. All because of what I thought was me just being nice, compassionate. If these people had shared with me more of what they saw in me I don't think my road to acceptance would have been as long. Which brings me to the reason for the timing of wanting to tell all. I have finally truly accepted and embraced who I am.
Ciara
Ciara:<3:
Very interesting point you make, Ciara, about coming out. I understand in the context of an intimate partner, but am curious about your desire to tell friends, family, and the world.
in response
My desire to tell friends, family, and the world stems from too many years of hiding who I am. I have struggled with this for many years and the internal conflict created chaos and confusion in my life. The stress I have endured from all this was devastating. Add that to all the other trials and tribulations of the past decade and its a miracle I'm still in one piece or at least I still have all the pieces.lol I have lied about it for too long, I never liked having to do so, but I was afraid of the costs if I was found out. I'm at a crossroads in life. I will be moving. Where to I do not know exactly. I know from past experience that leaving means losing some friends. Only my true friends will keep in touch. Only a true friend will accept me unconditionally...and that type of friend is rare. If I out myself, I will find out who my true friends are. I will also make new friends. I recently had my first real outing en femme. I Went out to a club dancing. It was awesome! I had a blast and made a couple new friends who were accepting, supportive and definitely a little curious. One of them wants to use my story for her thesis. I think the process of helping her with that will be very therapeutic for me.
I have no idea what reaction my family will have. When I am ready, I will tell my brother and hos wife. I would just tell my brother, but I know how close they are. They share everything, so I might as well plan on telling them both at the same time. I know they will have so many questions.
I started dressing when I was in my early teens. I was caught wearing tights and a leotard when I was like 14. My families reaction was not pleasant. As it was growing up, I got teased a lot due to a stronger than average feminine side. people would say things like; "Why do act like a girl?'" "Why are you walking like a girl?" I was galled a sissy, prissy. All because of what I thought was me just being nice, compassionate. If these people had shared with me more of what they saw in me I don't think my road to acceptance would have been as long. Which brings me to the reason for the timing of wanting to tell all. I have finally truly accepted and embraced who I am.
Ciara