The standard track to getting out and about

[michelleddg]

Hi Ladies,

I'm thinking there's a standard track to getting out and about dolled up, and it might be something like this. What do you think? Hugs, Michelle

1) Peek out the front curtain
2) Drive to the park at 3am, walk out of the car 10 feet
3) Fill the tank at a remote gas station
4) Order a meal at the fast food drive through
5) Walk the length of a strip mall after hours
6) Buy a lipstick at Walgreens
7) Go for a walk at the mall
8) Do some actual browsing at Goodwill (or possibly Dress Barn)
9) Order a coffee at Starbucks and drink it there
10) Go into a department store at the mall, pick out a dress and try it on
11) Get a mani/pedi
12) Try on wigs at a wig store
13) Get a makeover at a mall department store makeup counter
14) Have a sit down restaurant meal
15) Go to a movie
16) Go to the theater

You've arrived! Fear and dread have been replaced by finding your stride!

[Beverley Sims]

You are close,
1) Peek out the front curtain,........ That is the first STEP?.
2) Drive to the park at 3am, walk out of the car 10 feet.... No 9pm is a lot safer and more adventurous.
3) Fill the tank at a remote gas station...... ..............Don't get nervous and put kerosene in instead of gas. years ago you could do that.
4) Order a meal at the fast food drive through......... And frighten the hell out of them when you say thanks in a deep voice.
5) Walk the length of a strip mall after hours.............. I would rather do a shopping mall thanks.
6) Buy a lipstick at Walgreens..... Buy chocolate instead. You already have lipstick.
7) Go for a walk at the mall...... At 3.30 in the afternoon when all the teenage girls can give you fashion advice.
8) Do some actual browsing at Goodwill (or possibly Dress Barn) .......Now we are getting brave.
9) Order a coffee at Starbucks and drink it there....... Welllll Ok.
10) Go into a department store at the mall, pick out a dress and try it on. .... now we are getting somewhere.
11) Get a mani/pedi ........ Whatever.
12) Try on wigs at a wig store... This is a very practical maneuver, get a good one whilst you are at it.
13) Get a makeover at a mall department store makeup counter
14) Have a sit down restaurant meal. Getting boring now.
15) Go to a movie...... And have some creep put his hand on my knee. Go with a friend.
16) Go to the theater. Same thing these are lost if you have to go by yourself.

A nice list and it is a guide to some progression.

You are right fear and loathing will have been replaced by something else.
Thank you for that map to your journey out Michelle.

[Lisa Jeffreys]

Okay, have you both been following/watching me? I am working my way down that very list but behaving a lot since it is a smallish town I live in and the divorce isn't final yet. We don't need any leverage on the opposing side after all.

Lisa

[mikiSJ]

After 40 years of trying the various steps described above, mostly with zero success, I finally screwed up the courage to do it.

I rented a motel room
Got dressed.
Checked the mirror for the third time.
Grabbed the handle on the door
Opened the door
Was immediately met by the female desk clerk who check me in
Waved and said hello
Got into my car
Drove to the River City Gems social
Had a fantastic time
Drove back to the motel room
Patted myself on my back for being such a brave girl
Had a great night's sleep
Still scared everytime I open the door - but I do it anyway.
Repeating the above steps this coming Saturday.

[AllieSF]

Miki has it right. Yes, I know that some need to take those baby steps and that is good too. But, it really does unnecessarily delay that glorious moment of actually going somewhere en femme out in the real world.

Mine was ...

I just started dressing and I wanted to go out.
Search for a local CD to accompany me out that first time
Find crossdressers.com
Start networking here.
Lucky me, I find a local friend and a traveling friend, WindyCissy, both of whom, even more fortunately, could make the same evening to help me take those first big steps.
We did it and the rest is history, and ..... I still smile every time I walk out the door dressed.

[kimdl93]

Does the order count? I got the order confused. I began at something close to#1, peeking out the front door before I stepped outside to move a sprinkler, but that when I skipped to 10.5 which was going to my hair dresser en femme, followed by 13 and not much later by my first wig fitting. Then, I ate my first meal at a restaurant. In the weeks that followed I pretty much colored in the rest of the number.

[Eryn]

I seem to have skipped a few steps.

1) Take trash out in evening because it was absurd to change back to male mode to do a 20 second task with no chance of being seen.
2) Dry run drive around neighborhood to make sure I could drive OK while dressed.
3) Drive 60 miles alone over LA freeways to a strange restaurant to have a great dinner with a CDing group.
4) Shopping and theatre weekend in Solvang with Persephone and our spouses.

And we haven't stopped since!

[AmyGaleRT]

Hmm...by this measure, I'm about at #6, though what I bought at Walgreen's was a prepaid game card for my fiancee. But I've bought lipstick at a supermarket en femme as well.

My equivalent of #1 was probably being in my living room with the blinds open on the patio door. After that, I walked outside to take the trash out to the dumpster. Then I went driving with my fiancee a couple of times. Then I got to #4 when I did the drive-through a couple of times - and got "ma'amed" one of those times, still one of the most wonderful moments of my femme life. :) Then I stepped out of the car to go into a supermarket. Then I attended a meeting with other CDs (that's not on the list, maybe it should be?).

#8 is coming sooner or later, I intend to go to Lane Bryant. (Which may lead to #10?) And planning for #13 is still on the horizon. Trying #7 would be nice, too. (#12 isn't an issue for me, 'cause I wear my own hair. But my fiancee and I may wind up going to a hair salon together...which is about on the same level as #11.)

- Amy

[I Am Paula]

I pretty much followed that, however, I did it in about a day and a half.

[Emjay]

I think I might have messed this all up lol... I was going to go to a local support group meeting as my first time out of the house.

-Messed around the house too long
-"awwww CR*P! I'm going to be late!"
-Dressed, makeup, throw together a dish for pitch in
-Hurry out the door before I realize what in the world I'm doing!
-"Hey, I'm out! That wasn't too bad, this is pretty cool!" :)

My head was spinning the whole evening being out, with other people, dressed. Though it wasn't out and about with the general public it was a fantastically positive first experience. :)

[Lainie]

That's more or less how it has been with me through step 14--took decades. I still prefer thrift shops (I'm cheap), although i have shopped in malls & department stores. The caveat--I really try to avoid going places where I'll run into friends & acquaintances. I've gone out a lot while traveling to other cities, and in Houston I go to Montrose or the Heights, far from my southwestern home. I go to the same restaurants & shops repeatedly, but it's still scary. No one ever objects, everyone is friendly. Crazy to be scared. I have encountered a work colleague, who didn't mind. Strangers are almost always friendly, some seem amused, most don't bat an eye.

[Betty_42]

Wow! I was just gonna go from step 1 immediately to step 4! This is not for me right now, although eventually I realize that I will need to confront this... Although I will confess here that the very idea petrifies me!

[AmyGaleRT]

Oh, I skipped around a bit, Betty. I think those "steps" are just guidelines. Rules do serve best when broken! ;)

- Amy