It seems I'm a bit more obvious than I thought

[Rebecca Watson]

Hi everyone,

So, someone new came into the dorm-style apartments where I'm staying at the moment. She met me as Becky, said hi and not much else.

It was reported to me by one of the other tenants that she asked "was that a guy?" after I was not in the room. Aww, how disappointing. While I don't have many data points, it seems that I'm perhaps a bit more obvious than I thought (and people are just being friendly or playing along). It seems there's work to be done!

- Becky

[linda allen]

From your avitar photo, I would not be sure one way or the other.

How were you dressed? Were you wearing makeup? Did you have a beard shadow? Are you living full time as a woman?

I take a lot of photos of myself dressed and use them to analyze my presentation. Fully dressed, I probably wouldn't pass at closer than twenty feet, but I'm not really trying and I'm not living as a female.

Remember, a female has had her whole life to be female, most of us have had much less time and have a lot of male looks and mannerisms to change. Keep working at it and hang in there.

[Chari]

Hi Becky,
Do not get discouraged. It takes a lot of practice, time, and as you said "there's work to be done". Perhaps it was your stance, your voice, a movement when you met, or someone could have told her you are a guy. Even with the best of us, on our best day, we may give a "tell" that is "obvious" to someone else. Always be comfortable and confident in however you present, and enjoy who you are!

[suzy1]

We are crossdressers and not women.
Sometimes we get [Or need] a reality check.
Sorry but I am passionate about honesty.

[Will I get lynched for saying this?]:straightface:

[Maria S]

Getting sussed is a bit disappointing but it makes you try harder in the future. Try to work out what gave the game away and try to put it right.

If your avatar photo is en-femme I think you need to try looking a bit more feminine, a decent wig and makeup.

Sorry if this sounds hard.

Maria

[Rebecca Watson]

I'm not too discouraged. In fact, this has made me more determined. (Unfortunately, I'll be travelling for the next month and a half, and it might not be straightforward for Becky to come out often. And I worry about my safety if I do it in places I'm unfamiliar with.)


How were you dressed? Were you wearing makeup? Did you have a beard shadow? Are you living full time as a woman?

I had on my black and white zig-zag top (as in my profile picture), a patterned dark gray skirt, patterned stockings, and black ballet flats (+necklace, bracelet, small earrings). I wore the wig in my profile pic. (I do have a more lady-like wig; but the long hair rapidly becomes knotty and it takes too much time to maintain it.)

I was wearing makeup (and it was a makeup-suitable time of the day), but I'm far from an expert at makeup. I did notice from photos I took that my eyebrows were too light relative to my hair (also, they're probably too bushy to be considered ladies). This seems to be a spot I could improve on.

It is possible there was a noticeable beard (I had been out and about all day en femme at this point -- I did have an additional touch-up shave before meeting this lady, but I may have missed some spots). Alternatively, it is possible there was noticeable irritation (but I thought this was well covered with makeup).

I'm relatively new in openly dressing. Basically, I've only done it for the last few weekends.

- Becky

[linda allen]

I should have asked if you were wearing breast forms and hip/butt padding.

[Rebecca Watson]

I should have asked if you were wearing breast forms and hip/butt padding.

No to the breast forms; I don't own any. How important are they? I had a on padded bra. I was wearing padded panties, but they would not have been noticeable at the time since I was sitting.

- Becky

[Jenniferathome]

Becky,

There are thousands of subtle clues that allow us humans to notice the difference between men and women. Clothing is way down on the list. Our jaw line, eyebrow ridge, adam's apple and neck (trapezius muscle) are just a few and the most obvious. I'd bet less than 1% of cross dressers can "pass" ever. Many can survive a glance at the mall but that's it. It is reality.

[linda allen]

No to the breast forms; I don't own any. How important are they? I had a on padded bra. I was wearing padded panties, but they would not have been noticeable at the time since I was sitting.

- Becky

Most GGs have noticable breasts. Your padded bra may have added some contour to your figure, but in my experience, padded bras or bras stuffes with tissue or foam tend to ride up and make the breasts appear too high on your chest.

How important are breast forms? In my opinion, very important. I have a pair of high quality forms and they feel like a part of me.

[Jaylyn]

Rebecca at least you look more like you could ass than I would. My broad shoulders and masculine jaw and such would get me spotted in a heart beat... and if I was out dressed my heart would be beating loud enough to attract the attention...Just keep trying, don't know if there is enough feminine in this world to get me to pass the test so I just enjoy the feelings....and I like what Suzy 1 said we are crossdressers not women.

[Beverley Sims]

Becky,
the important thing is you realise your own limitations and you work on them.
You don't soften the features and magically come out overnight.
It is working on different parts of your presentation such as manner, poise, stance, makeup etc. that makes it all work.
Just concentrate on the really bad bits and you will get there.
Your Avatar would have them guessing if you walked bow legged and smoked a pipe.
As it is you could be taken for a pleasant girl if some of your other mannerisms were up to scratch.
Keep at it and one day........

[Kim Young]

We are crossdressers and not women.
Sometimes we get [Or need] a reality check.

I think Suzy is right here and Jennifer too about all the differences and it's hard for us to really pass.
The good thing to take away from this is she had to ask somebody so she wasn't sure. So some clues to your maleness were there but you also presented well enough to make her wonder. If the only female clues were the clothes and some bad makeup, she wouldn't have to ask a neighbour, she would know.

You're not going to fool everybody all the time but if you can fool some people some of the time and make others wonder, then you're doing well.

[Rebecca Watson]

Rebecca at least you look more like you could ass than I would. My broad shoulders and masculine jaw and such would get me spotted in a heart beat... and if I was out dressed my heart would be beating loud enough to attract the attention...Just keep trying, don't know if there is enough feminine in this world to get me to pass the test so I just enjoy the feelings....and I like what Suzy 1 said we are crossdressers not women.

I must admit that, compared to some here, I'm doing alright biologically. I've also got a naturally feminine voice.


As it is you could be taken for a pleasant girl if some of your other mannerisms were up to scratch.

I think mannerisms are one of the hardest things to self-judge reliably. I think I act girly overall (even in guy mode), but it's hard to judge impartially.


I think Suzy is right here and Jennifer too about all the differences and it's hard for us to really pass.
The good thing to take away from this is she had to ask somebody so she wasn't sure. So some clues to your maleness were there but you also presented well enough to make her wonder. If the only female clues were the clothes and some bad makeup, she wouldn't have to ask a neighbour, she would know.

You're not going to fool everybody all the time but if you can fool some people some of the time and make others wonder, then you're doing well.

That's true. (Although I'm not sure if her question was relayed to me accurately.) It's encouraging to know that there was some mystery.

- Becky

[Candice Mae]

Just wait till you have guys hitting on you every time you go out, the last three times I've went out I got hit on. If your heterosexual like me its really uncomfortable and scary.

[Rebecca Watson]

Just wait till you have guys hitting on you every time you go out, the last three times I've went out I got hit on. If your heterosexual like me its really uncomfortable and scary.

Oooh, that sounds like quite the mixed blessing. The validation would be great, but it would indeed be a bit scary to think about the possible reactions if they find out what's going on behind the scenes.

- Becky

[mikiSJ]

It seems there's work to be done!

There is always work to be done, even by the most beautiful of GGs.

Get going, girl!!!

[sandra-leigh]

Rebecca, when I look at your avatar picture, the first thing I notice is your nose: with that light and that makeup, it looks proportionally longer than I would mentally expect for a female with your facial width. If that is the case in real life, then you could use makeup "contouring" techniques to provide shadows to make parts recede or look more forward.

I noticed that in pictures, I appear to have a fairly large nose. What I realized, in studying myself in the mirror, is that my nose is not necessarily protruding out all that much, but that it is wider than most -- just about the opposite of a "button nose".

The second thing I notice in your avatar is your <--> dual-triangle cheeks as you smile. When I was studying my face before, I realized that I have that kind of triangle, and that I do not remember seeing it on GG... or at least not often. GG's cheekbones tend to be more rounded, and I speculate that that roundness reshapes the face so that dual-triangles do not occur (or are not as pronounced.) However, an alternative hypothesis would be that GG's in our society are taught / encouraged to smile using different muscles so it doesn't show up as much.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Sometimes, there's just a lot of little things that add up.

I remember once one the golf course, I picked out a GG from a hundred yards out, even though she was wearing androgenous clothes and a baseball cap. I think it was something about her walk.