Dealing with depression

[Megan_Renee]

Hi Girls!

Without too much background, how do you deal with depression? Due to extenuating circumstances, I can't really do much to transition right now, and I have been dealing with some depression issues. In addition, I'm moving very soon, so I cannot start with a therapist anytime soon. How have you dealt with depression for knowing that you cannot transition, but your gender is unequivocally wrong?

~~Megan

PS - please don't tell me to see a therapist. I know I need to do this, it's just not possible until August / September at the earliest.

[joanne_mi]

This may not sound like the best advice, but the anti-depressant drugs commonly prescribed by a physician really do help. I've been there, they work. Good luck to you hon.

[Angela Campbell]

The only thing that helps for me is staying busy and moving in the direction. If I cannot do everything I want right now I can do something, electrolysis, work on the voice....something in the right direction. It takes years so I have a lot to do. As long as I am working and advancing even a little it seems better.

[I Am Paula]

Perhaps if you keep reminding yourself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you'll keep your chin up, and trying to smile. My thoughts are with you.

[sandra-leigh]

Therapy. Medication. Curling up into a ball. Cuddling my wife without saying anything.

Distract myself: volunteer a lot; read; put headphones on and lie down and just listen to music.

Selfcare -- go to weekly massage.

Ideally I would also get more exercise, even if just walking around the block. Unfortunately our weather has been unseasonably cold (today was 20C = 36F below normal) and wet, but soon...

[Sandy Michaels]

find a distraction hobby. walking around the neighborhood, exercise, playing games, watch movies, read books. try to stay away from subjects that would trigger any downer thoughts. I wouldn't recommend medication unless it's suggested by a professional. there are a lot of examples where those happy pills have the opposite effect. faking being happy might help with dealing with the outside world. but you need to find an outlet for you emotions. a close friend/relative. even these forums are a good venting place. just don't let it consume you.

[Julie Hall]

Megan,
About 15 months ago suicide was all I could think of - my depression was winning. Two years ago today I lost my wife to cancer and 18 months ago I began cross dressing for the first time in my life (that I remember). I compartmentalized the suicidal tendencies - remembering I would not want my mother to deal with my suicide. I began therapy, Albeit a slow and laborious process, I was merely treading water when I joined a local trans support/social club. The changes in me.... in my attitude and demeanor are both astonishing and noticeable. I now know that I should be transitioning but due to age and medical concerns have become content knowing I will do as much as possible as soon as possible. Although I am just now 58, I am content to work on myself as I can. Diet, appearance I can work on as I await being able to initiate hormones. The SRS would be nice, but I am patient - not always the case - I will wait my turn and move forward.

In my opinion, find others like you in your vicinity, it has worked wonders for me.

Julie

[Xrys]

depression sucks, it takes away the motivation to move on. how do i deal with it?
1. distraction. i distract myself from my problems by spending time with my friends playing board and card games.
2. confession. i cant afford a therapist and the closest one is a 20 mile trip on public transportation, but i have a few friends who i can unburden myself to. even if it is not a licenced profesional, talking to someone in perrson that is supportave helps alot.
3. snugleing. i cant count the number of times that i felt better just laying on my bed and loved on my cats. animals are theraputic and always know when you're down.
4. exercise. it is surprising what a lap around the block or in the pool can do to improve your mood.

hope this helps,
Xrystiana.

[josee]

Volunteer to help someone. Give blood, you will be amazed at how helping someone else gets the focus off of yourself and yet makes you feel better about yourself.

Pets can be a lifesaver too. I don't know what I would do some nights without my kitty to talk to and love on.

[Megan_Renee]

Perhaps if you keep reminding yourself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you'll keep your chin up, and trying to smile. My thoughts are with you.

I think this is the big issue... The tunnel is long, and the slow mutants are getting closer. (Dark Tower reference... It makes sense to me.)

-----

Thank you ladies for all your help! I will definitely be trying to exercise more and diet a little better. I will also try to post more here... ;-)

[melissakozak]

The best way to handle this is to go and see a primary care physician who also sees a lot of transgender patients. Explain your situation, get on some meds at least temporarily, and move forward. Your mental health is important....

[Kaitlyn Michele]

exercise, helping others, distractions..those are all good things to try.

w/o medical help or therapy those are your best bets..

being depressed and clinically significant depression are two different things with a grey area in the middle... the closer you are to clinical depression the tougher self help will be...dealing with a big life change can be tough too

be very careful..

[traci_k]

Megan
Don't know if this will help, but a couple yars ago I was going through a severe down time and I heard one of these radio infomercials for vitamin D and it said it helps with mood and depression. I started myself on 6,000 IU and found significant relief. Some depression is always there from GD but it is not as bad.

Plus what some of the other girls have said - distraction and involvement and exercise can help too.

Hugs,

[avgrey]

I am diagnosed major (clinical) depression and panic/anxiety disorder. After 4 + years of therapy and Rx medications, I've learned the tools I need to be self caring, but found that the Rx stuff wasn't working anymore. Having been through the gauntlet to find the regimen I was on, this time I decided to look into naturopathic supplements. I urge anyone thinking of this or putting anything else into their systems to do so with professional help (we have a slew of naturopathic doctors here, so I'm lucky), but it is a viable alternative.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I've been treated for anxiety and depression. Yes, they suck. One good thing was for me to join this group and be able to express myself among a fine group of people. It's helped a lot to keep posting and maybe helping others. Maybe you could get more active here? I've been in contact with members and it has helped considerably.

In other ways, as someone mentioned about vitamin D, get outside. I believe sunlight helps us produce it. Another thing---get on the phone with family or friends. That has helped me to get out of my little corner thinking only about my unfounded worries. I do agree with others that exercise also helps. Don't just sit around thinking.

One thing my therapist made me realize: My brain can be like a car, stuck in second gear. I have to affirm that it's not me -- it's the wiring in my brain that has a bad transmission. (Good/Bad analogy?) See! There is a tranny in my brain! LOL!!!---A good laugh will help. I have a guy friend who usually has me busting my gut. It helps.

Cheryl

[kimdl93]

I would first look to taking steps to improve your overall health and well being. That means a healthy diet and exercise. The, until you can start with a therapist, pick up any of a number of self help books on treating depression. There is a lot you can do, on your own to reset your thinking patterns in constructive and positive ways. This can and does work for mild to moderate clinical depression.

As for the obstacles to your transitioning, what are they and, what might you do in the present to overcome some of these obstacles.

[Kathryn Martin]

Eat healthy food, exercise regularly, go to bed no later than ten pm and don't dwell on things.

[mikiSJ]

I would suggest you first get a diagnosis of the level of your depression. There is a wide definition of depression ranging from the "blues" to "needing to be in a hospital" and self-diagnosis is seldom accurate, especially when it is too late.

But, to at least give you a head start, try taking the Beck Depression Inventory (http://www.cawt.com/Site/11/Documents/Members/Evaluation/BeckDepressionInventory1.pdf). Be honest with yourself when you take the inventory and don't be afraid of the result.

[Chickhe]

Depression is when you can't function because you can't find a way to feel good, to feel like living. Its usually a slow downhill path to get there from a multitude of issues and then you just can't get better... if you just feel crappy, sad or lost because you can't do what you want, that's probably not depression...maybe the start though. If you feel like you are in a pit, get help from a doctor. Medication doesn't cure you, it only gives you a temporary ability to see greener fields...you have to learn to change your thinking to get better. If you want to find ways to turn around your mood, then exercise and doing activities you used to enjoy help. The key is to change your thoughts, when something makes you feel bad, ask yourself the question, is my reaction normal? What is another more positive way to react? ...its that simple, think of the alternatives and your emotions will start to change to match the situation. Also, things that are beyond your control are not any reason to feel bad... think about it? You can't control if someone cuts you off in traffic...so no need to get angry and feel like the whole world is against you...it was just a someone who did something stupid..., for example.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Try haveing depression for over 40's years, many different meds to help. & with out any meds think only about death suisede, its not a joke i can tell you, & myself i know .

now this is major not a now & then its every day , plus a few other details thrown in makes it a hell hole to be in. we are doing pretty well so far. & this is Jos who im talking about. she is 60.

I would ask for a mild seditive , allthough you may have to try a few till you find one that suits you & how your body reacts to it, im intune with women with meds than males so males are a bit different than women so if you can see a good G P , & allsdo ask a phamisite at your local chemist = drug store & ask him / her what has worked for other men i could give you a list of over 40 different meds they most work differently & if your on other meds there can be strong interactions between them, for what its worth .

take care & do get some help.

...noeleena...

[sandra-leigh]

In some cases, the situation is a bit like trying to walk with a broken leg. as long as you keep at without assistance then things just get worse. But use a crutch (anti-depressant) for a time can give the brain chemistry a chance to rest and mend, and then you are good to go. But that is certainly not always the case and learning different ways of processing. thoughts can be key for people. Still, there are people whose brain chemistry canmot be repaired with rest and thinking differently is not always enough, so indefinite antidepressants might end up being necessary
.

[MysticLady]

Hi Girls!
Without too much background, how do you deal with depression? Due to extenuating circumstances, I can't really do much to transition right now, and I have been dealing with some depression issues.

Hi Megan

I'd like to share my thoughts and experiences w/ you if you don't mind. I can't offer advice on transitioning but I can touch on depression since I've been there.I think depression is a monster all by itself. In my case it turned me ugly. I've been dealing w/ this for a while now and at this point in my life I'm actually feeling good mentally. But it may cost me a lot since my family is right in the middle. Sometimes you need to go forward in life even if it appears scary. If your heart is in the right place, things will turn out very different than you may suspect.


This may not sound like the best advice, but the anti-depressant drugs commonly prescribed by a physician really do help. I've been there, they work. Good luck to you hon.

In my case, they'll work for a while and then your body builds a tolerance to them and then they'll wean you off this one for that one and some may work and some won't, but the side effects are sometimes worse than the depression. Right now my eyesight is affected since it's definitely changed from before I started taking them.


Megan,
About 15 months ago suicide was all I could think of - my depression was winning. Two years ago today I lost my wife to cancer and 18 months ago I began cross dressing for the first time in my life (that I remember).Julie

Julie, Im so sorry to hear that, You won the battle though and you're moving forward in the War..we call life. I truly admire that. :hugs:


I think this is the big issue... The tunnel is long, and the slow mutants are getting closer. (Dark Tower reference... It makes sense to me.)


Whatever it takes to help you understand. I'm happy for you.


Megan
Don't know if this will help, but a couple yars ago I was going through a severe down time and I heard one of these radio infomercials for vitamin D and it said it helps with mood and depression.

I take powdered Vit C when I feel a cold coming on or allergies turning into a possible infection.


I've been treated for anxiety and depression. Yes, they suck. One good thing was for me to join this group and be able to express myself among a fine group of people. It's helped a lot to keep posting and maybe helping others. Maybe you could get more active here? I've been in contact with members and it has helped considerably.


I highly agree, this place has helped me immensely. It wonderful to be able to discuss life with decent human beings.:)

[JamieTG]

Real depression is caused by low levels of the brain chemical Serotonin. Antidepressants are effective because they work on your serotonin levels. Before going on the meds I would try the two most effective natural ways to release serotonin; being outdoors in the sunlight and daily aerobic exercise of at least 30 minutes. If you can jog or ride a bike outdoors, first thing in the morning, you can release enough serotonin to make you feel better for the rest of the day. Good luck!!

[Christine.Lolita]

I have experienced depression and staying physically fit really does help. Also stay away from alcohol. It only makes it worst.