who has given up crossdressing?

[Princess29]

Does anyone know anyone who has completely given up the crossdressing/transgender lifestyle?
I only know of one person who quickly went from occasional fetish dresser for parties-more mainstream dressing-heading down the full time path-then disappearance and the last I heard from him was that he had completely distanced himself from his female path and gone back to fully male. He may have gone back to it since, I just don't know. This person wasn't the best at responding to messages at the best of times.
Otherwise, what is the longest time you have gone between dressing and what caused the urge to resurface?


Mel

[Lynn Marie]

I've seen something very similar in the CD girlfriend who helped me get out the door. Same difficulty in communications, full time dressing, and finally total disappearance. She was quite active right here.

[demibra]

I don't believe to honestly give it up is possible.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Princess, It's like the Mafia you just cant quit!!

[paulaprimo]

everyone hates a quitter... i know i couldn't do it. i want to dress as much as i can. i think the longest i went without dressing was about 3 weeks
but that was a long time ago :)

[STACY B]

Just get some T gel an rub it in ,, That will take the Wind Outta of your sails ,,lol,,,

[NicoleScott]

Many people try new things: smoking, drinking, golf, etc. only to find out it's not for them. I'm sure there are people who tried crossdressing and the thrill just wasn't there to continue. Whether they were really crossdressers who quit or experimenters who moved on to something else is a debate I hope we don't have.

[Karren H]

I didn't dress for 10 years.... It just faded away.... never even thought of it at all.... then my doctors found the reason.... a brain tumor .... and after being successfully treated my crossdressing came back with a vengeance! Still today if I slack off on my medication for a while.... I don't want to dress up.... Hormones really effect me more than I think... Chemically induced crossdressing! lol

[linda allen]

Does anyone know anyone who has completely given up the crossdressing/transgender lifestyle?
..............

Since many, perhaps most men who crossdress don't tell a lot of people about it, it would be difficult to know who was a crossdresser but has given it up. A person who has given up crossdressing is unlikely to be posting on a crossdressing forum.

My guess is that there are many men who have tried crossdressing to some extent but then decided that it was not for them. There's no good way to tell though.

Of course, before we can find the answer, we would have to define the term "crossdressing". Is the man who went out dressed as a female to a Halloween party once a crossdresser? A man who played a female in a play or movie? A man or boy who tried on his wife's, mother's, or sister's panties and/or bra once a crossdresser? How about ten times?

On this forum, we have men who wear a pair of panties when nobody is looking all the way to men who live full time as females and have possibly had SRS. Where is the line drawn?

[linda allen]

Just get some T gel an rub it in ,, That will take the Wind Outta of your sails ,,lol,,,

I'm assuming you are talking about testosterone replacement medication? I use Androgel every day to increase my testosterone levels to near normal and it doesn't make my desire to dress go away. I used it this morning and I'm sitting here right now in panties, bra and forms, wig, a nice blouse and skirt.

If I am really sick, I often don't dress but I'll still wear a housedress and possibly panties.

[Jessica Keys]

Well, I guess it's time for me to confess on here that I haven't dressed in two years.
Do I miss it...yes I do!
Why did I quit? Guilt in hiding it from others and decided it was a dead end street for myself without a good ending.
Also I have friends in another hobby that has always taken my interest.
I think this "other interest" made it possible for me to get out.

So why am I still on here you ask?
Because I enjoy seeing and reading about what could have been me, if I would have been born later in life when the internet was alive.
I read on here the people that are happy about their dressing and also the ones that it has become a burden.
God bless

[Leslie Langford]

Hi Princess, It's like the Mafia you just cant quit!!

The good news is that nobody is apt to come by to break our kneecaps with a baseball bat either if any of us decides quit our unique "sorority".

If anything, the line of unaccepting wives and SO's anxious to cheer us on if we decide to do so is long and winding, and forms on the right. ;)

[DanielleLee]

Hi Princess! I'm one of those who has "quit". By quitting, I mean I purged my fem articles of clothing and make-up. About three years ago, maybe? I did so for several reasons. The main reason however was my family and not wanting them ever to have to be embarrassed if I got caught. It's that simple.... no more, no less. It was a decision I made, based on what was right for me. Do I still desire to cross dress? Yes. Do I have urges? All the time. In my heart, I know I am a cross dresser... possibly even more transgendered than just CDing. While one might be able to give up the behavior or stop the activities of CDing... the wiring in our brains which causes the cross dressing is always there.

Why do I come here still then? Well I enjoy reading of the adventures that many here have and staying up to date with friends I've met. Just because I'm not cross dressing actively, doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't be friends with someone who does.

Just my :2c:

*Disclaimer... I have CDd on Halloween since purging. That's an annual thing which I can't get away from with friends who saw me do it for several years prior to the purge. However there is no shaving or forms involved. In fact there isn't even underwear/panties involved. My opinion here is that everyone has to do what's right for them... not anyone else. :)

[Sallee]

I have certainly stopped for awhile in some cases a year or 2. I don't think I have ever lost the desire just the time and opportunity wasn't there so no panties :( I don't think the desire will ever go away.
Also there have been times when I dressed for several days and grew tired of it. It was just too much hassle to bother.

[BillieJoEllen]

I had to purge when I was twenty. I couldn't dress for three years. After I came home from the service my first purchases were a car, gas, skirt, panties, bra, girdle, nylons, slip, blouse. Basically CDing was all I thought about when I was in the service and couldn't wait to get back to it.

[Beverley Sims]

When I was actively chasing girls there could be a two to three month hiatus but as the novelty of a new girl waned so the urge came back.

Obviously the best way to give up X dressing is to find something REALLY interesting to occupy your mind.

[Julogden]

I've only known one CD who decided to quit. A few months and it was back to dressing and an admittance that quitting was a really bad idea.

Carol

[Stephanie47]

I don't know if it is possible to have gone the full route of dressing en femme, and, then just one day purge everything and start collecting stamps or coins. It's not a hobby. I think that term is a rationalization of behavior the person is trying to justify.

When I was a teenager/very young adult I dabbled in crossdressing to the extent of wearing my mother's clothing. I did have some "sexual motivation" in crossdressing. I could never figure out why I liked wearing women's clothing, although as a single digit kid I did like the feel of my mother's nylon slips on my body. Maybe I liked sensual feeling clothing?

When I was drafted all interest in crossdressing was lost. I did not think of crossdressing. It wasn't just because there was a total lack of privacy living in fifty man barracks. I had no interest in it. I did not think of it. Actually, I had no interest in anything other than training to avoid getting killed by "Charlie."

I met my wife while in the military. My interest in crossdressing did not resurface. Before I proposed to her I did think about my past interest in crossdressing, but, from the viewpoint of whether I may be gay. In that time frame there was no internet and information available on anything sexual or sexual identity in nature. It was a very confusing time. I still had no interest in wearing women's clothing until a couple years into marriage when I tried on one of my wife's floor length nylon gowns. I loved the feeling.

I still do not understand why I am drawn to this. Can I live without it? I think I could. However, there is a stress relief component to crossdressing. I think a man who has not gotten too far into crossdressing may be able to find some other outlet for stress relief. There is some truth to those pictures of a guy sitting on a dock with a fishing pole, not really caring whether he ever catches anything. Me? I have a spot on the coast, where I am totally relaxed and into a world of my own. Yep, I think I could sit there and watch the sun sit into the horizon and never don a dress again.

[Loni]

how does one give up who one is?
someone can try and deny who they are but you can only be you when it comes down to it.
yes there are some activities and friends where loni is not around.
now if i could grow hair then loni could truly enjoy blasting a sport bike up a mt pass or down a canyon rd.
but wigs and helmets do not mix. and the cheek pads in the bucket mess up my make-up.

but sometimes life needs can get in the way. job, family, bills, etc.

but at 53 i wish i could go back in time and take over my brat body at age 10. how lovely loni would be now.

but to just give up dressing....never. even when not putting on a dress/skirt/etc it has been so long now that i can not even remember the last time i had mens undies on. even my socks are ladies socks.
last time i went in to buy the steel toed boots for work i walked up to the women's shoe rack and did not even know till the sales lady pointed this out. (as she pulled me away from them).

but if one was to stop dressing for a time would we even know about it? as the person would just not be posting here any more. (number of reason to stop posting here).

.

[Sabrina133]

I had to purge when I was twenty. I couldn't dress for three years. After I came home from the service my first purchases were a car, gas, skirt, panties, bra, girdle, nylons, slip, blouse. Basically CDing was all I thought about when I was in the service and couldn't wait to get back to it.

I know what you mean BillieJo. When i left home at 18 to go to college, i didnt dress for the 4 years i was there. While i missed it thought i was "growing" out of it. When i graduated and reported to my first assignment (Fort Hood Texas) it hit me all over again and the desire became insatiable. I drove to Austin and went wild. I spent a long time building my wardrobe. A few months later i met my "drag" mom who took me under her wing and taught me how to do make up, walk, talk, just be a proper girl. Two years later, i deployed to Iraq and, as i've told earlier, i purged all of my stuff as i didnt want my family to find out should something happen to me. While deployed, i didnt dress - obviously - and but thought deeply about it and the implications. When i returned, I spent a significant amount of my pay replenishing my wardrobe and not looking back. So yeah, I've quit but the desire and need pulled me back everytime. As a therapist once told me, being a crossdresser is not somehting you can choose to "quit" or not to be. Its like being an alcoholic - you always will be one, you simply choose not to dress. I quit twice and came back to it as soon as i could.

[NV Susan]

After a few purges years ago I found out you can't quit....so now I quit trying to qiut! :devil:

[Sabrina133]

After a few purges years ago I found out you can't quit....so now I quit trying to qiut! :devil:

I heard that. I know its useless for me to try to quit and absolutely dont want to -- and neither does my SO - what can i say. .

[sandra-leigh]

I do know someone who has indicated they lost interest after starting testosterone. "It just wasn't there anymore", they told me.

[Jaylyn]

I have just started really am enjoying the feelings and satisfaction I am getting from it, kind of makes me realize maybe this is what I should have been into all along. I had always loved the experimentation but realizing this may be who I am.....

[bomba]

i believe it is totally impossible to quit.i hav tryed sooo hard.im coming of a 4 month quit.i want to stop because it has cost me so much pain. and still more to come.but i cant do it.in fact each time i quit i come back wanting to take it farther.its all so hard

[Wendy_Marie]

As of five weeks ago I have given up crossdressing...Now I chose to live in the gender I was intended too from birth....while it isn't the same gender I was assigned at birth...Finally now I feel as though I am living right and correct as I should as Wendy and not that guy David...so yeah, I no longer crossdress.

[Danielle_cder]

give up cding, no thanks

[dawnmarrie1961]

Yup. I gave up crossdressing years ago. I stopped wearing men's clothes.

[jennCD]

While I don't believe it's something you can give up, in the same way that one can't stop being short or have blue eyes, I haven't had much connection with this area of my life (except for the sporadic visits here) for around 5 years now. It's not something that's gone from my sense of self but it's not something I feel the need to actively participate in to "relax" or to simple "be" me.

Perhaps it was never such a powerful force in my overall sense of being until I allowed it to, but realistically at this time in my life, I have a good number of things that take most of my time and focus so dressing isn't something I feel an urgency about... but who knows down the road when Jenn will start feeling neglected or devalued. I can't really say, but I can't say I lose any sleep over it and I'm not stressed about it.

:)
jenn

[Claire Cook]

Sure, it's like what Mark Twain said about smoking: "Giving it up is easy -- I've done it dozens of times". :heehee:

[Aly Cat]

For me, I have actually quit. I didnt want to and I highly doubt it will last but I'm giving it my best shot for my wifes sake. Yes, it is at the cost of my own happiness which I know everyone disagrees with. In all honesty, I am just trying to make it past the end of May which is my 10 year anniversary. After that, I will be suggesting counseling. I personally don't think it can just go away. It makes up a part of who you are and helps shape and define your personality. I say I quit but in reality, it is more of a sabbatical lol. I love that part of myself and am not willing to give it up forever. I am hoping for some sort of compromise later on down the road once we are in counseling. Until then, I visit this site many times a day and live vicariously through you ladies. You all are how I get through the day. I hate to say I rely on you so heavily, but at the moment, you are the shoulder I lean on. Thank you all for being there for me. I love you all.

[flogo920]

Other than extreme experiences, can anyone mention something as intensely limbic-lobe and hypothalamically pleasurable than cross dressing ?? Just the sensual alone can be quite overwhelming. I think this is the way certain drugs work with huge endorphin release.

How does one give that up ??? especially as it is much easier than most extreme experiences.

Hugs,

Flo-

[Sandi Beach]

I am probably not too far away from giving it up. At a minimum, I will probably be giving up this site first. I have spent a lot of time on here since I've joined, and read a lot. Found some very good discussions, and got a lot of answers, and tips. But, the more I read, the more I feel I don't belong here, and should probably be moving on.

[Leyna]

Me
This is too short, so I have to type some more but I don't know how many words I need is this enough? :tongueout

[TeresaL]

After I started HRT, I lost all desire to cross dress or present as a woman. Plus it reduced my GD. The blue pill really works.

Some of us have testosterone toxicity. It's a best kept secret.
http://www.avitale.com/TNote15Testosterone.htm

[Christine.Lolita]

I tried to quit and it never lasts. The longest I went was maybe six months.

[Barbara Maria]

I tried that recently,the idea being that I was trying to be something I'm not.After 5 days I realized that I had it backwards. When I have to be in male mode is when I'm being something I'm not. Fortunately,I didn't purge. I dressed up and immediately felt good about myself again.I doubt if I'll try it again.Certainly no time soon.

[Wildaboutheels]

Simple basic math. The # of CDing sites, [according to many who water here] the "many" places online selling "giant" high heels that very few females could possibly need [according to many here] give clear proof that a "large" percentage of men CD but most likely have ZERO need or desire to ever leave their house.

There IS nothing more ADDICTIVE than an O for a man. Evolution knows best. Most men CD as a vehicle to O. Even most of the regulars here won't deny that during some period of time, O's were a giant piece of the puzzle, but that they have since moved on.

More OR less.

IFFFFFFF one has ever used female clothing items to "get there", the chances of them completely giving it up are slim and none IMO. Unless and until they no longer have any drive at all.

Pavlov's dogs come to mind here. Makes perfect sense that so many members here become happy with "just the dressing" as they mature. A ringing bell can obviously be enough to trigger old "fond memories".

[Jacqueline Winona]

I dress less now that I never really think about quitting. Strange, I know. :)

[Princess29]

Leanne, I have come to realise that I need to go completely cold turkey if I decide to head down the path of trying to stop. It would be hard though if for no other reason than we would see hundreds or even thousands of reminders everyday called.......women. Its either cold turkey or just completely out myself to everyone and let things fall where they may and deal with the consequences when the occur. This "neither here nor there, half and half stuff" will get me nowhere. Full time is not something I have the slightest desire to persue in any way, shape or form. I don't identify as gender dysphoric

[spandexgirl188]

I can honestly say, there is always a battle going on inside me. My male personal vs my Female persona. Sometimes the male wins, sometimes the female wins. Ive thought of giving all of it up, but all it takes is to look at a girl who is good looking and is a great dresser and i wish i could be her. Its something ive dealt with since i could remember. Recently ive come to terms with it. Keep the girl and the guy happy. Keep the girl happy by keeping my femenine figure and allowing myself to be a girl and keep the guy happy by realizing that what matters most is my mental and physical health.

[mbmeen12]

I have temporarily not fully dressed in a while. The feelings are still there to dress. My SO has asked why and the reason I explain is that I am super busy/new job stressors etc. But mostly because it's my activities i.e. wood splitting, chores and maintaining the house and my hobbies. Once it gets warm I will be soon be outside sitting on my patio on my vacation, dressing and enjoying gurl time. Big picture, I seen woman at work wearing certain outfits and the connection is there mentally. Colors of the nails to tights and skirts thinking on how it would look on me etc. //Kara//

[Erica Marie]

If you dress for fetish reasons it may be possible to quit. But I think for a true cd it is part of who they are. It may be possible to suppress it temporarily, but it will never go away. Or at least for me it never did. I am who I am, and I am a crossdresser.

[Cheryl T]

Tried and failed miserably (to my total delight).
I think the longest I've ever gone without dressing is about 3 months. Those darn purge/buy cycles didn't last long, but there were quite a few when I was younger. Now that I've been out to my spouse totally for almost 10 years I don't go a day anymore without being me and I can't see a time when I would want things to be different.

[jeniinnylons]

Its been over a year for me since I stopped.

[Leanne2]

I have quit being an active CD several times. The first time was when I enlisted in the Air Force. It was a four year tour and I didn't dress fem for the first 2 1/2 years. Then I was assigned to a remote location that didn't have barracks. We all had to rent something in town. Well that was my opening and soon I had purchased a wardrobe of women's clothing. But I purged that when I got married. But the urge to dress was too strong so the cycle would start all over again. I finally quit being a CD for good in 2008 when I realized that I am a transgender woman. Now, when I dress up I don't consider it cross-dressing. I'm just dressing like a normal woman. And other than an unfortunate birth defect, I am a woman. Leanne

[franny lin]

I quit smoking. I can't stop dressing it feels soooooo right. Dressing causes me a lot stress and pain wife doesn't understand.

[drushin703]

give up? why on earth would I ever want to give up? It's been too good to me to give up now.

[Farrah]

I must say, NOBODY!!

[AllyCDTV]

I have been crossdressing on a more or less weekly basis for the last 5 years. Last year I ruptured my Achilles tendon and during the recovery, I did not dress for around 6 months and didn't really miss it at all. For a variety of reasons, I've been winding down my crossdressing activities for a couple of months now with the ultimate goal being the end of all my crossdressing behaviors. During that period I've had a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I declared an end. I am now within one crossdressing session of calling it quits. This week I had to choose between crossdressing or doing some mods to my new Dodge Charger. The Charger won so it looks like next week will be my last crossdressing session. I now how hard it is to quit. Will it really be my last session? Time will tell but I consider what happened this week to be a sign that it can be done.

[JadeEmber]

I didn't for a long time. And I imagine I could stop if I wanted to. I don't think it's a compulsion. If, for example, I decided to sell everything and just travel for a while, I'd probably minimize it or quit, just due to the limitations of space. But there would need to be something outside the norm that I was doing, I think, or it'd be unlikely to stick.

Honestly, though, I like the tension between the two social standards, so why stop?

If it's causing a problem for you, however, well, you need to think about what is important and what is true to yourself, I imagine.

[michelle64]

have not done anything in several years..is that quitting?...it never goes away..i really would never quit because i know i would be miserable...

[Princess29]

If I decided to stop, I would have to go completely cold turkey and the thing that is the most unappealing aspect to that is the cost of replacing everything but also the hassle of replacing some things that are very difficult to replace. My sister suggested if wanted to try it out, I could pack everything up and store it at her place. She knows all about Melissa and lives 100klms away. That would be a good middle ground if I decided to get back into it. I would have to find something else to occupy my time and thought processes also

[ChanDelle]

CD or TG just gradients of the same thing in my mind. I do think its possible for some of us to push back the urge depending where we are on the spectrum. Just my opinion so please don't get upset if you don't agree. I'd love to hear it btw as other viewpoints are how we learn. I will never give up some aspect of it but pushed it away many times. It always seems too come back to one degree or another. --ChanDelle

[busker]

though by doing that I'm already admitting defeat as they are there for when I need them,,,, I dont know, maybe it is impossible!!!???
Nothing is impossible, and you are not admitting defeat.. It isn't a battle but something we do in life. Often times there simply is not time to do everything and some things get set aside out of necessity. But storing your things is financially a good plan. Right now there are other things in your life that are more necessary that dressing.
I quit smoking several times and after a year of two went back--once by celebrating that I had quit for so long, by having a cigarette. It came right back.
about 20 years ago I heard a story about a guy who late one night wanted a cig, but didn't want to go out in a strange city to look for smokes. He said to himself I've been wanting to stop so I think I'll just stop smoking. Psychologically he wasn't quitting, just stopping. One night when I was out of gigs, I remembered the story and said to myself, I'll just stop smoking. That was 15 years ago, I didn't miss it from the time I got up the next morning to this very minute and I started when I was 18 and smoked for more or less for 37 years. Occasionally I smell a good cig and think it smells good but it hasn't pushed to start again. Good thing too, because a few years ago I developed lung cancer and lost a lung.
It is possible to stop--quitting has BAD psychological meanings--and do other things. Hobbies are good substitutes or rekindle any former interest. I think a lot of what we do stems from just wanting to do it, not from a total need. I get catalogs and that gets my interest up to look at clothes and then bamm I buy something. I only took this up again about the time I turned 60 or so, so there were many years that I was not even thinking about it.
Good luck

[ninadiva]

For me Cding is a massive release of endorphines or happy hormones. These in themselves are a drug. I have an addictive personality, drink, cigarettes, marijuana and CDing. I can leave the drink alone when I need to CD, but I cant stop thinking about CDing. Its better to cut down on the drink a few nights of the week so I need to replace drink with CDing. Therefore I don't even want to try to stop now that I have embraced this necessary femme side of myself and finally feel without guilt.

[ArleneRaquel]

During my marriage my amount of time enfemme went down dramatically, but I never put it away, purged a few times, but the urge was always there and I love wearing clothes that were made for moi.

[sometimes_miss]

It's never been a lifestyle, more of a crutch. The longest was I think about seven years while dating and being married to my ex wife; seems when in a good relationsh ip I can keep the dress monster at bay. Of course after the cat was out of the bag and ex wife went nuts (ending in a nasty divorce), the desire to crossdress pushed me over the edge of the cliff, and I've been plummeting down into the frilly abyss ever since.

[Kristy 56]

I went through the purge,and stopped 3 years ago. My wife had found out about my CD ing the year before. She didn't like it,but tolerated it. I had it pretty good too. The SAs at the local Dress Barn used to love when I came in,and I would literally spend up to 2 hours trying on all the dresses they'd keep bringing out. I also used to fully dress and go to the local Merle Norman at least twice a month for facials,pedis,waxwings,makeovers etc. However when my wife caught me answering an online ad posted by a GG( at least that's what the ad said) it was the beginning of the end. I vowed to try and give it up. Ironically at the same time the Merle Norman closed down & the SAs at Dress Barn left. I went through a full purge and donated everything to charity. Several thousand dollars worth. However,since then I bought an item here and there,but am now back in hiding.Haven't fully dressed in over 3 years and still miss it ! In fairness to my DW she tolerated it to the degree that I was able to wax my legs and experience the complete Kristy. Trips to Dress Barn,Merle Norman etc were allowed and I had my own closet. I even went out a few times dressed to a lesbian bar and was accepted.Everything was fine until I pushed the envelope too far,and tried to take it to a new level with a GG( my wife wanted no part of it,and didn't want to see it) I ruined a good thing,and will always be a cross dresser even with my limited inventory. And I do have to say that dressing for a GG was the ultimate,as was going out fully dressed. I'd probably do it again if given the chance. I lived the dream !!