Is cyber sex cheating?

[Lynnmorgan451]

And now for the fight of the day, me in one corner and my wife in the other. She saw a message on my fb from a woman asking for cybersex. She saw the reply where I politely turned it down and said "maybe some other time" now she thinks the reason I like to be early to work is so I have time to cyber people and god forbid I come home a little late (happens a lot in my line of work and most others) it's not because I'm working.....it's because I'm cyber screwing...so regardless of the fact that I never have and don't ever plan to because its boring and stupid IMO ....

Is cybersex the same as having an affair?:Angry3:

[Jorja]

Is it sex with your SO or wife? If not, then it is cheating. period.

[Megan Thomas]

Yes, it's cheating. Cheating doesn't have to be physical to be cheating. The clue to this is your saying to the FB woman "maybe some other time"...

[kellycan27]

Maybe not technically cheating, but it would be ( in my eyes) taking an intimate part of our relationship and sharing it with someone other than me. Personally I would take it as cheating if my husband was ( even if it was just talk) cybering with another woman. My question to you is how would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? Would you be okay with your wife doing the same thing? Would you be okay with her sharing her body ( again .. Even if it were just talk) and having some guy thinking about her in that way and having her reciprocate in the same way towards him?
What in the world gave this woman the idea that you might be open to this sort of thing to begin with?

[MarinaKirax]

Um, yeah.
Faithful is faithful.

[Lynnmorgan451]

Well I personally think it would be cheating, also. I don't know why I said " maybe some other time" and actually, she said that and I just said "absolutely" which is the stupidest thing I've ever done. I had no intention of ever doing this but now I am officially screwed because I am an idiot.

[ArleneRaquel]

In my book its cheating, not in the usual sense but in this new technology age it is. Just my opinion.

[mary something]

yes it is cheating, not as bad as physical intimacy but bad enough. I would consider deleting the "friend" and considering offering her your fb password to show you have nothing to hide.

[Tilly Vega]

Yes. You are placing yourself in the emotional conscious of seeking connections beyond that of platonic relationships. No one of logical mind would ask for sex without there being some form of written or mental invite. You just need to cease setting yourself in a environment that allows such advances. Simply put, married men should not have a FB page unless its for business or networking.

[Lynnmorgan451]

step one: Dig big F*ing hole
step two: close eyes
step three: jump head first into hole
step four: have someone bulldoze over hole

problem solved

[Barbara Ella]

Can you be true to your wife in mind and body? Can you be true only in body, but actively lead your mind to engage in what you promised to your wife? Conversely, can you picture your wife in your mind, but have physical sex with another woman, and call that faithful?

I think you really know the answer. yes, no, no.

Barbara

[joanne_mi]

Short answer. Yes.

[silverfurret]

depends on how your relationship is set up, but if your partner hasn't told you about having cyber sex and is doing it anyway than yes. Similar to swinging it only works if both partners are aware of what's going on.

[Rachelakld]

While the thought of sex with another is not cheating, any action to follow up that thought would be, as would any other relationship (cyber, phone) that included a sexual or intimate element.

[Chickhe]

Its like this... if you go around town talking to prostitutes in the street just because you like to talk to people, but someone sees you, then you are a John...even if technically you are not. So you're best bet not to be associated with people you have no plans to interact with, I would immediately unfriend and not respond to the person who asked you for cybersex. ...I mean, if what they want is cybersex, then your not going to have anyother type of relationship with them anyways...dump them.

[Sejd]

It's cheating if it is not with your partner.

[darylinb]

Good question! Not sure at this point if it is YOUR definition or your WIFE's definition that actually matters - I am thinking it is your wife's. Let me tell you about my recent experience. About 5 years ago I discovered cyber-sex, Craigslist and online porn. starting out of curiosity, then moved deeper into it, answering ads, posting ads, and finally meeting someone. To make a long story short, after hearing my cell go off in teh middle of the night one night, my wife started asking questions. I tried my best to lie my way out of it (which is embarrassing, as she is a wonderful, open, accepting person) and over the period of a month, everything finally came out. We separated for a while, but are now trying to work on things. What caused the MOST problems with her? Not the Internet porn, or the cyber-sex, and actually not even the 1 time affair, it was the lying and secrets. You are in a spot now, all you can do is be as open as is humanly possible, apologize- repeatedly- and acknowledge HER reaction as being legitimate. Just my opinion and my story, but boy did I learn some things and almost ruined a very good thing.

[Wildaboutheels]

Not sure exactly what you mean by cyber sex. Do you mean "talking" dirty with someone else by both people pushing buttons in a certain sequence on some kind of electronic device? Or talking dirty on the phone? Or both/either?

I wouldn't consider either of them the "same" as an affair by any stretch of the imagination. Then again, none of the 3 have any appeal to me whatsoever, and I particularly consider pushing buttons as a form of "communication" or INTERACTION with others as nothing more than a necessary evil. I realize this puts me in a very small minority in today's tweet/text happy Society but I'm OK with that.

[kellycan27]

Cyber sex is having virtual sex on line. Describing what you are doing to each other.

[Lynnmorgan451]

I guess the original point I was trying to make was, Even if I was "talking dirty" while someone masturbates, would that be considered cheating...I wanted to get some input from you guys. I wasn't actually having cyber sex, but I very flirtatiously turned someone down that had offered it to me and told them maybe next time. My wife found the message and declared that I was having an affair. To fuel the fire of our problems, this pushed her over the edge. She doesn't want to deal with me and my ts issues anymore. I'm on lock-down, no panties, no leg shaving...Its like I'm ****ing grounded. I've been just sad since this happened because I feel like shes just using it as a reason to sever ties. Its like, me having gender issues doesn't give her a clear enough conscience to leave me for that reason alone, but if she "caught" me having cybersex, now thats a good reason to leave. I don't think I've been this sad in a long while........ugghhh

[StephanieC]

I'm sure you'll get a chance to talk with her about this.

[Angela Campbell]

If it is something you would not do in front of your partner (with them knowing and seeing what you are doing) you should not do it at all. It is best to stay above reproach in things like this. If your wife thinks it is cheating then it is.

[Marleena]

Lynn your marriage reminds me of the movie, War of the Roses. I hope you see some humor in this, watch here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ebv3i_9Ltc

[kimdl93]

It's a really bad idea. Your wife could quite reasonably assume that you're not satisfied with her and you're becoming emotionally connected with someone else. That would rank as cheating. From what you've share about your situation in this and other posts, I would suggest that this is one more problem you do not need.

[darylinb]

I worry that you keep using the word sad...that is a powerful emotion. There are counselors out there who are not judgemental (none should be, but let's be realistic). If you stay sad, you may want to consider talking to a professional. It can help.