So Tell me how does it feels to pass............?

[Princess Chantal]

You get all dolled up for a night at the local LGBT* bar, feeling so proud of your feminine appearance in the mirror. You may have exagerrated a little in an area or two for the setting of the outting; perhaps on your make up, hair, and/or outfit. However the exagerration that you did reflect what you may imagine a woman would do for such a setting.
While you are enjoying the night out and chatting with some new acquaintances, someone asks you something like:
"Are you performing tonight?"
Somewhat miss classifying you as a drag queen.
Does the drag image of being a glamour queen like RuPaul pop in your head? or is the image more like the campy styles of Lady Bunny? or somewhere in between?

Do you feel the misconception as a compliment or as a reality blow to the gut?

Tell me how would it feel to pass as a Drag Queen.....

[Beverley Sims]

Take the compliment and go wit it....
Why make waves?

[DonniDarkness]

"Are you performing tonight?"

"Yes, later tonight at home...but your not invited...."

Ive had this question asked before. Take the compliment, your just probably the only TG person they have sat down and talked with before. Most people assume that all CD's, that are out and about perform drag of some sort. Especially if your a a venue that hosts local drag shows.

Just smile and roll with it.

-Donni-

[Karren H]

life is a stage and we are all performers.....

[Jenniferathome]

...

Tell me how would it feel to pass as a Drag Queen.....

THAT is not passing. Drag is a caricature of a woman and meant for entertainment.

[I Am Paula]

Don't agree with you there Jennifer. Drag performers fall into two camps (pardon the pun) Female caricatures, and female impersonators. the impersonators have such a deep respect for feminine beauty that any mention of caricature would mean the have failed. To be compaired to Frank Marino, or Ru Paul would be the highest compliment. Comparison to Lady Bunny (bless her) not so much. It all depends on what turns your crank. If you get compared to Nikki Minaj, you've really gone over the top, and ought to reconsider your goals.

[kimdl93]

E only time I've been asked that question was when I was in drab....trying on wigs! The SA thought I might be in a show!

[Princess Chantal]

THAT is not passing. Drag is a caricature of a woman and meant for entertainment.

I was not comparing drag queens to women.....

More of a crossdresser may pass as a drag queen to the uneducated/unaware eye (see Donni's awesome post in this thread). Just like how a crossdresser may pass as a genetic woman or how a crossdresser may pass as transsexual to an uninformed person.

[Stephanie47]

I guess if you're in a venue that has drag queen shows for entertainment that was a fair question. If you were talking to the person and your voice gave you away, then perhaps your presentation (makeup, hair, attire) was fine. If the voice gave you away, then I'd say it was definitely a compliment.

[Princess Chantal]

"Yes, later tonight at home...but your not invited...."

Ive had this question asked before. Take the compliment, your just probably the only TG person they have sat down and talked with before. Most people assume that all CD's, that are out and about perform drag of some sort. Especially if your a a venue that hosts local drag shows.

Just smile and roll with it.

-Donni-

I love your post Donni, Your statement "your just probably the only TG person they have sat down and talk with before" is how I engage with people.
Actually the last person that posed a mistaken perception of me was quite engaged with the tg and the drag communities. It was not the physical appearance that triggered her error of classification, it was apparently the aurora and presence that I seemed to have in the room.

[AllieSF]

No, I have never been asked that question. One reason is that I dress to blend and tend to blend fairly well, though I do have my moments. I disagree with Donni's statement that "Most people assume that all CD's, that are out and about perform drag of some sort. Especially if your a a venue that hosts local drag shows." If you are in a drag show venue and you are dressed way over the top, too sexy, too ornate, too much strong and contrasting makeup, then maybe. Otherwise, no way. One reason is that most people have never been to a drag show before. They may be somewhat familiar with the term, but really have no idea what it is about. When they see a crossdresser or any male dressed as a normal woman, I doubt that the word crossdresser comes across their minds.

[Lorileah]

I used to get asked "Is there a show tonight?" when I was out alone. Many people assume that "we" are all what they see on TV. I know I will never pass 100% in any setting. But I would like it if they didn't assume I was there to put on a show.

Now having said that, I now love it when someone comes up to me at the Black Crown and asks if I am singing tonight. In that venue it isn't how I am dressed (I am always dressed feminine there) but more because they like to hear my voice. I could be behind a curtain for all they care :)

[ArleneRaquel]

A few years ago I was being fitted with new glasses at "America's Best", I was enfemme and purchasing ladies frames. The SA who was a lady in her late 30's asked me if I was purchasing them,I was buying 4 frames at the time, if I was a "drag queen entertainer", I said "no". I have to admit that I was flattered in that she implied, as lest to my ears, that I was attractive and thin enough to be a performer. I should live so long. This thread brought back some old, circa 2004, thoughts.

[DonniDarkness]

Actually the last person that posed a mistaken perception of me was quite engaged with the tg and the drag communities.Maybe he or she was planting a subtle idea....You seem very outgoing and your period dressing is superb. You do what you do very well. I loved your Pics with the Trains, In black and white/Sepia they would just need accessories for a stempunk theme.


It was not the physical appearance that triggered her error of classification, it was apparently the aurora and presence that I seemed to have in the room. Im six foot+ Diva with heels, i get what your saying.

As a general social rule: If people inquire something about you, they have already made their own assumptions.

Id Just have fun with the situation or elegantly segway the conversation somehow.....

-Donni-


One reason is that most people have never been to a drag show before. They may be somewhat familiar with the term, but really have no idea what it is about. Thats really the same thing im saying Allie, Maybe i shouldnt have said "most", But people who do not know TG people in their lives dont really understand that Crossdressing isnt always an ACT. Its a part of who we are.

[AllieSF]

I agree with you Donni. I was more reacting to the "most". Since I do get out a lot, albeit in a very tolerating area, I really have not experienced what a lot of others state as fact, which I mostly believe is opinions versus real experiences. Once we be who we are, look people in the eyes and smile, it is amazing what nice things happens later regardless of what our voice sounds like. Maybe it is that brief second for the other to realize that we are not a threat to them in any way and we can smile about it? I don't know, but it really does work. Now, I am only 5-6 and of a slight build, so that also comes into play.

[Chickhe]

...complement if you are trying to look that way....otherwise you went a little too heavy on the stucco. How does it feel to pass as a woman?...only had it happen a couple times and its a very incredible feeling...hard to explain, but its the total 180, a huge eye opener beyond our most often fantasy view of things... people treat you differently which forces you to feel like a woman.

[Eryn]

You get all dolled up for a night at the local LGBT* bar,....

If you are planning on "passing" then a LGBT venue is not the place to do it. Yes, you'll likely have a great time but everyone's radar is turned on and the chances of being acknowledged as a woman drops. Heck, even masculine-looking GGs are "made" in places like that.

If you want to experience how it feels to pass you need a place where people are not engaged in the game of "which initial, L, G, B, or T, is she?" When I'm out in the mainstream I pass in most instances simply because people aren't expecting to see a CDer, so they see a woman instead.

[noeleena]

Hi,

For myself i would dought i would be called a drag king or queen , as to all dolled up that wont ever happen i would never bother doing that. Performing for an evening would entaill playing music or singing & that i have done many times . As to makeup for speciel effects Hmmm im not sure about that,

to act a part & look silly or stupid , i could do that okay, though as a woman i would not be very comfortable because makeup on myself makes me uncomfortable & i know i look out of place, so really it comes back to im a woman who is very plan looking if not more masaculine in my facial features, so i dont use makeup.

For a woman you may find that strange ...well maybe,,,, yet thats the truth, if you meet me youll see why. life for myself is not about how i look its about who i am , as a person,

...noeleena...

[Sally24]

Don't agree with you there Jennifer. Drag performers fall into two camps (pardon the pun) Female caricatures, and female impersonators. the impersonators have such a deep respect for feminine beauty....

Many of the performers I know in New England are of the female impersonator line. I do get asked that occasionally at the club when I am really dressed up. I like glamour and sometimes my outfits are a little formal. I do take it as a compliment and just say "No, I'm just an amateur."

[Princess Chantal]

Sorry people
How would it feel to pass as a DRAG QUEEN was the Question.....


Not - How would it feel to pass as a genetic woman.....