To Blend or Not to Blend

[Aly Cat]

Ok, so I was looking in the pictures section and realized something. Everyone who seems to be going out on the town always is full head to toe dressed down to the finest details. Thats so awesome!

Does anyone ever go out in male mode but with womens clothing on? Like donning a cute skirt with some flats and a regular tshirt, no wig, no makeup just you? Or maybe a cute blouse with some fitted shorts, flipflops and thats it. If not, why? I hear mixed things about some of you feeling like you are a woman trapped in the wrong body to NO, Im a guy..I just like the clothes.

Also....and I know there is a lot of acceptance on this site so it may be hard to answer honestly, but if you were hanging out dressed from head to toe en femme, would it make you uncomfortable to be out on the town with another crossdresser that is "just a guy in a dress?"
In all honesty, I would probably never go out with breast forms, or wig, or makeup...well, maybe a bit of makeup :heehee: but I would just want to be me...a guy in the clothing I love. Not that there is anything wrong with getting fully en femme, but for me, it really is about the clothes. I still love my own identity as who I am for a man. My apparel choices are just different from the "average" guy.

[Sabrina133]

when not at work, i am pure girl from in to out, head to toe.

[ArleneRaquel]

I may go out in male mode wearing panties and female eyewear, I never go out as a male with wigs, forms, or makeup. On second thought I have on more than a few occasions worn femaleshorts with otherwise entire male attire, mainly running chores in the great outdoor.

[Alex]

I do it all the time! I am more about the clothes, too. Sometimes I like getting all dolled up, but a lot of the time, I don't.

Sometimes if my clothing choices are extremely feminine, even if I don't feel like it, I might put on some makeup or maybe a wig or boobs just so I blend in a bit better.

Right now I am sporting a men's short sleeve button down, women's cargo capri pants and a wedge sandal. I think it looks good.

[Aly Cat]

Like, for me...I would totally go out in something like what I have on in my avatar pic. Just the way I am there. Scruffy but trimmed and shaped facial hair, my short hair, and regular body. Is that odd? I have yet to see a single person like me who would do this sort of thing.

[Aly Cat]

yay!!! So Im not the only one! lol

[Kelley]

On Saturday I had on girl blue jeans and sports top with cute cap sleeves no wig or makeup, regular male sneakers. We went to dinner with my son for his birthday.

[Tracii G]

In the summer I go in a femme ish top and femme ish shorts in guy mode.

[Alex]

Not a ton, but there are a few of us.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Except for wearing woman's jeans, I'd have to go all out one way or the other. I think going out with just a skirt and the rest drab would be incongruent for others to fathom and would probably bring some ridicule from not-so-polite people.

Cheryl

[Shirley Anne]

Ive only been out femme twice, but it has to be the complete look or not at all

[KimberlyJean]

I have to go all the way to girl in order for me to go out. The differences in the way people interact with me in girl mode is so different than when I am out en drab. Besides, I love being a girl whenever I can, which lately is not very much.

[lucaluca]

i did it for a long time, but because i have long hair and i am short and skinny, sometimes people thought that i was a girl. at first it was great, but after 2 years it was to hard for me. some people did not treat me respectful, and they always stared at me.

[Candice Mae]

Honestly... Its your decision as to what and how you wear clothes in public, the only difference is how the judgmental public perceives you based on how you're dressed. In regular male mode the public really does not care or even notice you, but if your a guy in a dress/skirt. Prepare for some unpleasant interactions with the lesser open minded public, I would suggest staying close to home or vehicle so you have a place to retreat to.

[Aly Cat]

So for those that go out fully dressed, would it be weird for you to spend time out with a "half-dressed" guy?

[Megan Thomas]

So for those that go out fully dressed, would it be weird for you to spend time out with a "half-dressed" guy?

In a nutshell, yes!

You have my respect for your stance and personal choices but I wouldn't want to be seen dead in public with you like that. Sorry, it's just how I feel, partially based on not wishing to share a bullseye with you for the idiots in society and partially because i think the look is ridiculous. No offence intended, you did ask... :)

[Lorileah]

Everyday I am dressed in clothing that is anywhere from 50-100% from the women's department. In the summer I always wear shorts, sandals, and a polo top. At work I don't do make up and wigs In the winter less so because i have not really shopped for slacks. One night at a local T bar my GF and I met the nicest guy. Totally male except his miniskirt.

[Beverley Sims]

I would feel uncomfortable but I would support his right to do so.
I would explain that it is not something I would do.
People would think I was a girl with him, more than likely.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I can concur with Lorileah. I've got shorts and sandals, even capri denims that can be unisex while they are definitely marketed to women. I also have some tops than can go either way during the summer.

Cheryl

[Aly Cat]

No offence intended, you did ask... :)

None taken! I did in fact ask. I guess I am...excuse the term...more ballsy just because I dress up in crazy costumes for DragonCon which is essentially a big nerd fest held here in Atlanta every year. Last time I went, I went as Shawn from Shawn of the Dead. Nothing like riding on marta (local tram) with fake blood all over me and a cricket bat. I dont mind when people look at me crazy lol.

[Lucy_Bella]

Eva,

I don't go out period...I steer clear of going out en femme...However ,I am pretty sure that most people here have a goal to pass without being noticed..You would only increase that chance..Not saying in anyway there is anything wrong with what you do..I for one admire your courage and if I was to seen you out I would be more than happy to shake your hand and say hi..

[Karren H]

Doesn't mater what. I wear.... I don't blend in well... just ask the clerk at Home Depot today... "You dress to elegantly for doing plumbing" lol

[Aly Cat]

I guess the only reason I dont go out and about the way I want to is out of respect for my wife. To me, Im just like...meh...you dont accept it...ok. Whatever. I mean, if I can act normal covered in blood with a cricket bat with everyone on the tram looking at me funny....wearing a skirt is no biggie.

[Aly Cat]

The troll got out of the dungeon and is running amuck.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Eva I admire your confidence in going out dressed as in your avatar. That takes a good deal of determination.

My need though is to present as fully female as posible although I'm quite comfortable interacting with my male voice. For some people this jars somewhat as I'm presenting as female yet speaking with a male voice. You would do the same but at first glance.

As to whether I'd accompany you out - don't know, are you good company? I suppose the fear of most is that they are most comfortable blending and you would draw attention to them. I'm into short skirts at present (yet in my 60's) so 8" above my knee draws its own attention.

[Aly Cat]

Lol I'm fantastic company! I know how to have a good time! I find my personality comes out the most when I don't look like my drab self or at least am around a group of people who don't know my drab self enough to form opinions. Thats why if you talk to the people from my previous and current jobs and then talked to my wife, you would get very different descriptions of me....wait, does that mean I have multiple personality disorder??? If that the case, I know how to have a blast with a group of people all by myself!

[AllieSF]

I only dress completely to go out, and I go out a lot. I respect everyone's right to go out as they please, from half and half to weird and edgy. I also do not worry about how others think about haw any one of us dress. No censorship, just freedom to be who you are or want to be. Would I go out with someone who does not dress completely? That would depend on the venue, how I planned on dressing and if it was something special or not. In general, I would say no because most of the places that I go are mainstream. That being said, a lot of the places I go know, like and respect me very well, and I believe that anyone with me, regardless of how dressed and presenting (except for the extreme presentations) would be treated more than nicely because they are with me.

[PattiAllison]

I also wear women's jeans, shoes, and undies all of the time. When I put on a dress or skirt, I want to make sure that people see me as a woman, so that means doing my makeup, putting on my wig, adding jewelry and a handbag. I want to blend in, not stand out. I enjoy feeling pretty and being called maam.

[kimdl93]

I really wouldn't feel comfortable going out in full, female attire without making every effort to look as convincingly female as possible. I strive to blend because its as close as I can get to being the person I am inside.

As for whether I'd feel comfortable going out in the company of a guy in women's clothes, that would depend upon the situation. I'd probably feel a bit uncomfortable at the mall, but less so at a LGBT friendly establishment.

[Angela Campbell]

It all depends on the reason for dressing to begin with. Some want to express some femininity and others are drawn to the clothes, some are fetishists and some have other reasons. I dress this way because I want to be a woman and the best way to get as close as I can is to look like one. So if I go out I attempt to look as much like a woman as I can. I would not even dream of going out without nails much less without a wig and makeup. It is all the way for me.

I would go out with someone who did not dress fully in some situations. Depending how they look of course. I wouldn't want to go somewhere with someone wearing lingerie or inappropriate clothing, like a little girl outfit or southern belle dress for instance. I have no desire to draw attention to myself so who I am with would have a bearing on that. I know a lot of girls who dress in ways that I wouldn't but that is just what they like so it is ok with me.

[gender_blender]

I mix clothing for my outfits all the time. And I never wear a wig.

[Alice Torn]

There is a senior citizen that often post on here, but i have not seen him on for a while, and he always goes out in female clothes, with no wig or fake breasts, and says no one ever gave him trouble.

[Greenie]

My boyfriends going out goal is to go out wearing skinny jeans and boots or girl jeans, converse, and maybe just a cute top. No boobs or wig... Possibly some makeup. he is a guy who likes to wear cute clothes

[suzanne]

I do the 'man in a dress' thing. At 6ft2 and over 250 lb, passing is impossible for me. Any attempt to pass results in some version of the angry Las Vegas showgirl type you see on RuPaul's show. So I don't try anymore. When I get the urge to go clothes shopping, I sometimes go incomplete drab, or I'll slip into a dress, leggings, pearl necklace and 3 inch heels. No forms, no makeup, no wig, ever. The response I get is "No big deal". I am treated no differently from anyone else by the sales ladies I meet and most of the other customers just smile and nod "hello". I know this is probably the hardest way to be dressed in the outside world, since there's no doubt about what you see when you meet me. If you see a mostly passable CD, by the time it registers on you that that woman had maybe an Adams Apple, a baritone voice or enormous hands, she's disappeared in the crowd. I don't give myself anywhere to hide, but it doesn't matter. Attitudes are improving toward all the different groups under the LGBT moniker, and there are more and more places we all can go to be ourselves in safety.

IMHO, every time we get out there dressed and interact with the public, we are acting to show the world we're not majorly weird, but rather just a step or two outside the box.

[JenniferMBlack]

I go out as a guy in a skirt all the time. I gave up on passing long ago, never did in any way and got a lot of negative response. Since I gave up looking like a girl I don't get the negative remarks. Usually I will wear a skirt and a polo or a camp shirt and either sneakers or heels depending on where I am going and what I am doing.

[GothicEmily]

None taken! I did in fact ask. I guess I am...excuse the term...more ballsy just because I dress up in crazy costumes for DragonCon which is essentially a big nerd fest held here in Atlanta every year. Last time I went, I went as Shawn from Shawn of the Dead. Nothing like riding on marta (local tram) with fake blood all over me and a cricket bat. I dont mind when people look at me crazy lol.

"You've got red on you."

[slamddoger]

if you live in small town it is better to blend in but if you live in big city then any thing go

[TGMarla]

I find the conundrum of "passing" very amusing. On the one hand, we want crossdressing to be accepted in the mainstream (dream on!). On the other hand, we want to blend so we don't get easily read as crossdressers. As for me, I wear what I like to wear, which is usually some kind of vintage dress. If that makes me stand out in a crowd, well, that's the crowd's loss. Such dresses are wonderful to wear, and all these ladies these days are missing out on one of the great feminine pleasures of modern times. Impractical? Sure. But when I dress up, I'm not worried about practicality.

[TxCassie]

I've often dreamed that I would live in a world where the males wear the feminine clothes and visa-versa. I probably would never do it in reality, unless I was in a place among trusted friends.

[DW]

I do not pass, obviously male head, yet many times have gone out to a lgbt club in dress and heels. No issues, just the odd look or two.

[Aly Cat]

"You've got red on you." BWAHAHA!!!

Ok, so this is getting interesting. We have half the group that wants to blend and not be noticed, and the other half that says when they stopped trying to pass and just were themselves (guys in dresses/womens jeans etc) got more of a positive view from the public. So its incognito vs acceptance. I did a search on the internet to find the most passable crossdressers I could find and showed my sister to see if she could pick them out. I mixed in GGs too so that she could have a challenge. She nailed it on the head every time. She would look at them and say, this gives that away, the shoulders are too broad etc. I'm not so sure any of us are really fooling anyone other than the fact that there is just simply acceptance for both types more and more now.

On a side note, When I was talking about fully dressed hanging out with a half dressed a lot of you responded with..it depends on the venue and location. That is true. Allow me to give you an example. We go out to say...an Italian restaurant in New York, Atlanta, wherever. Pick your location. You wear what you would normally wear with the wig, forms, and makeup and I wear the example below but with no makeup, forms, or wig. What I am wearing is fashionable and correct for the venue.

http://www.polyvore.com/fall_outfit/set?id=78075541

Now keeping in mind that some, i cant speak for all, GGs can pick you out regardless..why the embarrassment to be seen with me?
This is a statement I gave to my sister. I said...Spandex, it shouldnt be worn by every woman but if you put the limitation on a specific group then you have to put the limitation on all. Then you miss out on those women that look FANTASTIC in spandex!

Keep in mind that I take nothing personal from your posts lol. I find this super interesting and am looking at it from a 3rd party perspective based on collective unity.

[Jackie7]

Sometimes, especially in winter and when there are no parties or dress-up events on the calendar for a while, I let my grey beard grow and keep it buzzed close with the shortest trimmer, 1/8". Goes over well with the children and grandchildren. Easy to shave when I want to dress up and go out. So in those times I'm often dressed at home, but bearded. At those times I usually don't bother with makeup either.

Once in a while I have gone out that way too, though only accompanied by my darling GG and in NYC where anything goes, I'll attach a photo.
I don't often go out as a gender-bender because I've found the bearded-lady look attracts a lot of attention and not all of it welcome. It can lead to good conversations but it also can really mess with people and challenge their tolerance, causing a lot more hassling than I ever get when fully dressed.
xxx
Jackie

[Aly Cat]

I think this guy owns it like a Sir! Totally awesome in my opinion.
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/229426_547055641982380_1134395982_n.jpg

[Kate Simmons]

Nothing wrong with it at all Eva and I would be happy to be out there with my friends regardless of how they present. For myself it's all or nothing though plus I consider it an art form. I'm not trying to pass or blend really just being myself and having fun dancing and socializing. In any case, I can have just as much fun dancing as Rich as I can dancing as Ericka.;):)

[Aly Cat]

See, thats awesome. I believe its about being who we are. Regardless of who that is or how far it goes, its irrelevant. We are who we are and we all fall into the same category from a social standpoint so I think we should all be supportive of each other. I know this site shows massive support for everyone here. This truly is like a family. Out and about though, I feel there is a bit more prejudice that wells up within us, even within our own community. I just find it interesting is all.

[Paulette]

Eva I can truly say while I wear panties and girl strap undershirts 24/7, if I am going out I go all the way to create as convincing a presentation as possible. I hope for at least the 20 foot passing level, meaning from 20 feet away you will think I am a female, and closer it will depend on your eye sight. As for being with someone who only wears the clothes I would not be that comfortable as I am try for the just the opposite effect. I will say, that when I have to grow out my beard for electrolysis that I am dressed completely in female clothes form head to toe. I travel for my treatments and so I go through TSA checks and have had a couple of interesting comments. At one airport the scan detected my underwire bra (I have small breasts from HRT) and the screener said oops I must have pressed the wrong button can you step back in? I stepped back in and they passed me right through. The TSA as two options that they press so that the machine knows whether you are male or female. So the bearded lady got passed through.

[dallasmann]

Ok, so I was looking in the pictures section and realized something. Everyone who seems to be going out on the town always is full head to toe dressed down to the finest details. Thats so awesome!

Does anyone ever go out in male mode but with womens clothing on? Like donning a cute skirt with some flats and a regular tshirt, no wig, no makeup just you? Or maybe a cute blouse with some fitted shorts, flipflops and thats it. If not, why? I hear mixed things about some of you feeling like you are a woman trapped in the wrong body to NO, Im a guy..I just like the clothes.

Also....and I know there is a lot of acceptance on this site so it may be hard to answer honestly, but if you were hanging out dressed from head to toe en femme, would it make you uncomfortable to be out on the town with another crossdresser that is "just a guy in a dress?"
In all honesty, I would probably never go out with breast forms, or wig, or makeup...well, maybe a bit of makeup :heehee: but I would just want to be me...a guy in the clothing I love. Not that there is anything wrong with getting fully en femme, but for me, it really is about the clothes. I still love my own identity as who I am for a man. My apparel choices are just different from the "average" guy.

Great questions! I do it all the time and I sport a blend of many different styles for a myriad of reasons. Even when I'm feeling completely 'guy', I still prefer to wear my women's tennis shoes, because they just look better. Same for sunglasses.

I do not mind hanging out with other CDs, regardless of what their reasons are. I don't have to have an almost exact identity with someone to hang out with them.