Is LOVE impossible?

[KatieTaylorTX]

Is love impossible for a girl like me? Sadly, I think it is..... or at least HIGHLY improbable....

I have been born with the worst thing a person could be born with... being born "Wrong". There is NO escaping it, no correcting it, and no real way to find a life of any degree of happiness. It isn't something that medicine nor surgery can "Fix". Being born transgendered M2F, is cruel and inhumane at best. Now before you start tossing gernades my way, here are a few things for you to consider.

Who is really going to Love us? Simple answer? Nobdy.

Genetic Females (typically) like masculine men. (I don't even know how to make love to a female like a *Real Man because it simply isn't in me. I don't understand the "Male Sex Role" nor how to accomplish it.

Now, let us agree that there are indeed Some GGs that like submissive men... OK... fair enough, however, many times those relationships are considered part of Kink. Usually the sub male desires to be degraded and humiliated by the Domme female. I howver, am a sweet, tenderhearted and emotional creature, who has no desire to be degraded or humiliated by Anyone. I have the mind, soul spirit of a girl... one that wants to love and be loved completely.

Lesbian Females simply put, want Genetic Females

Gay/Bi Males/Bi-Curious Males are attracted to T-Girls because we Have That Something Extra. Nothing makes me cry more than this... I am "Wanted" for the Part(s) that I absoloutley ABHORE having in the first place. (Not really good for my self esteem...)

Straight Males simply put want Genetic Females.

I am not attracted to other T-Girls. So that is out.

Cats and Dogs are the only living creatures that could totally give a rats ass who I am, they just love me for me being me! :) (Yay Furry Friends)

I would caution many of you, that while it is true that there are many out there that consider themselves transgendered, that more often than not, it is more of a Fetish for them. They derive sexual stimulation from wearing "Fantasy ****/Club Wear". (I don't even own a pair of fishnets, nor a single feathered Boa! Giggles

It would be my "Goal" to just Blend in with the rest of the world... NOT stand out and scream for attention. I am simply a girl, one who has the capacity to love, and be hurt, one that cares for humanity, even when humanity doesn't care for her. It is who I am, and nothing more, but with that comes the reality that I will never find true love. I will always be objectified because I am considered nothing more than a sexual freak. (Which is the farthest thing from who I am).

Am I missing something? Or do you agree?

[STACY B]

Girl there are 1000s of GG right here on this site I talk to Daily ,, No one cares as much about it as you ,, You got to learn to accept yourself before someone else will ! Get your mind right ,, Go see a therapist an let it all out an start living .

[Megan Thomas]

So much of what you wrote I can relate to but despite it all love can be found. What I found to be a real problem are the families of those who love us. It would seem we can be loved but they often need to keep us a secret, in a closet or compartmentalised from their families because they fear their response or worse, being cast out by their families. It takes a brave partner to show the courage of true love for us in the face of their fears, be they perceived or real.

For me that presents its own issues because after living with my true self hidden away for years before I transitioned I will not allow myself to be hidden away for anyone now. That doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to those potential partners with such fears, it's just that having come to terms with myself I will no longer be denied existence in the real world.

Just be yourself and make sure others in your life treat you properly and one day you'll find love...

[Angela Campbell]

I understand completely. I have had relationships while being a pretend man and it seems that none of them ever loved me as much as I loved them. If they loved me at all. But how could they? They didn't even know me. They knew the persona I had invented in order to survive. I have grown tired of giving my soul to someone who will never do the same for me.

[traci_k]

Katie,
Stacy nailed it - you've got to accept yourself first. Most of us here are seeing therapists to help us deal with issues, gender and otherwise and they can be very beneficial. Then you've got to decide what you want. You've pretty much excluded most possible types of male and female. Are you going to transition? That alone opens up more possibilities of a straight male. As long as you remain in between, you would probably have to settle for a bi-male, but there are bi-males whose preference is women. Or do you want a woman? Be honest, most people desire some level of intimacy along with love and friendship in a relationship. If you exclude everybody, you will have nobody.
And honey, going by your profile pic and introduction, you've got a lot going for you,. You're gorgeous, size 0 jeans, size 8 shoe. A lot then depends on your attitude and personality. Guys prefer women who are nice to them, not nags. With your looks and a bubbly personality, you would probably attract some very nice people.

And SMILE!

Hugs,

[KatieTaylorTX]

I agree wholeheartedly that self acceptance is key. However, sometimes that self acceptance is tough to swallow when one feels totally isolated by what one is trying to accept... maybe a better way of putting it is this way:

If someone that I loved accepted me as "Me" rather than the person the world sees... then maybe I could learn to accept myself. (Chicken or the Egg theory...) Maybe it is just me... and I truly believe that some of you may have found more inner strength than I have been able to muster... and I applaud that.

Do I want a man or woman? Wow... that really is a complicated question now isn't it? I have pondered this question for years upon years... and yet conflict still plagues me... I will try to explain....

Men... (I simply DO NOT understand them...) But I suppose that is normal for a GG anyways... *giggles*
but... here are a few thoughts about it:

1. Men stink! I suppose it could be that since I have male hormones coursing through my veins, it is quite possible that I don't react to the male pheromone(s) correctly. I DO however, wish I could respond to them. Maybe it is an acquired thing, I am not sure... LOL but I crave more than anything the traditional male/female relationship.

2. Women, I trust them... maybe I shouldn't but I do. I love the smell and feel of a female (Pheromones acting up again?) Not sure, however, I don't understand the mechanics of making love to a woman. Can I do it? Yes, however it feels like an "Out of Body" experience. Detached if you know what I mean. It simply isn't me.

3. T-Girls - Simply put? I don't want to compete at being the girl... I AM the girl... and ONLY a girl.

Maybe an igloo in remote Alaska is what I need... I dunno, and maybe I am my own worst enemy, and I am willing to concede that possibility as well. I am just having a really tough go at this right now... one that will pass as they always do...

So, with all of that having been said, I DO love myself... and I am proud of my heart and soul and the person I am. I am a good, decent, warm, caring and considerate person. I have SO much love to give... it just hurts sometimes.

[MysticLady]

Is love impossible for a girl like me? Sadly, I think it is..... or at least HIGHLY improbable....


Oh sweetie, do not be afraid of loving yourself for who you are. Once you accomplish that, then love for others and from others will be an abundance:)

[Katyana]

it's just that having come to terms with myself I will no longer be denied existence in the real world.


Amen!

If you let answers only the future can provide, dictate what you do today, do not be surprised when you find yourself standing still.

[melissaK]

Cats and Dogs are the only living creatures that could totally give a rats ass

ROFL. Poor rats, get no respect.

Sweetie now that you've indulged your fears, and had your piti party . . . realize even among cisgendered very very very few win the genetic lottery and are graced with beauty of face, facility of mind and kindness of heart that finding mates is fall off a log easy. Most everyone has to work at it. So just go get to it . . .

[I Am Paula]

I know exactly where you're coming from.After a lifetime of searching and experimentation, I do have someone who loves me, even tho' it's sexless.
The journey took me to men- The sex feels 'right' but a relationship with one leaves me cold. I hate macho.
Women- Almost all the markers are there, but sex if like you descibe,out of body. The cuddling, and closeness is great.
Pre ops- I dated one long ago, and for the first month I thought I'd found the best of both worlds. Then came the competition, and cat fighting. Very quickly we dicovered two bottoms don't fit together.
Lesbians- Why do they seem so angry?
My wife and I have a perfect symbiotic relationship. She has two cancers that will drag out many more years, but eventually kill her. She needs alot of care. I'm her driver, caregiver, and emotional support. I dress her, and cook, clean, and do all the 'housewife' stuff. In return she supports all my gender descisions, and is there when I feel like weeping uncontrollably, or celebrating a step forward in my transition.
Please Katie, it may seem hopeless, but you'll find someone. Don't give up.

P.S. I've dressed and acted as a woman my entire adult life, and now lived 15 months as one full time, and I just realized, in the second to last line of my post, I refer to my transition. That's the first time in my life, less than a week on HRT, that I've used the words 'I'm in transition'. WOW! that feels wierd. Takes a while to sink in.

[Megan Thomas]

If you let answers only the future can provide, dictate what you do today, do not be surprised when you find yourself standing still.

I love the above! It's made it to my favourite quotations list. Thank you. :)

[mary something]

Dear Katie,
I read your post and recognized many reflections of myself, however I think you should question some of your assumptions because I think the answer lies there. Stacy was absolutely right that acceptance is key. For me personally I was unable to find personal acceptance until it was shown to me by a loved one (my fiance). it seems that some are able to find that personal acceptance without it being mirrored to them by another but I certainly am not that way, nor do I suspect you are.

I don't have any close male friends, I've always found I feel much more of a kinship with women. I don't know any women who actively seek out submissive fetishy men unless there is money involved. I'm not saying there aren't outliers, but as a general case I don't think it is very common. Perhaps your perspective on this matter is clouded by your male social conditioning?

My intuition tells me that perhaps a genetic girl who is open minded, someone who has been in a relationship with a "manly" man but was left unsatisfied by the lack of closeness and emotional connection that this type of relationship typically offers might be a good fit for you? Of course this is based off a single post so take it with a grain of salt.

[KellyJameson]

Love is a problem for eveyone and the fifty percent divorce rate will attest to this and that does not count all the bad relationships where the participants cannot stand the sight of each other but stay together anyway.

The way you react to the the scent of men versus women is largely chemically driven. I have never liked the sexual scent woman give off much like how my brain could not tolerate testosterone but like the scent of men and have no problem with estrogen. This is biological decided on a cellular level and when you go against it you suffer.

This comes from how your brain is wired and the interplay between hormones and your brain.

If you are on or go on HRT you may notice a change in your attitudes toward the scent of others depending on the brain you were born with.

You use the phrase "submissive man" so does this mean you are still unsure how you identify?

It can be difficult to untangle sexual identity from gender identity because the body is how we experience our sexuality but the brain is where gender identity lives and this creates conflict between body as sex and brain as gender even though in my opinion they are related or in some way affect each other.

You appear to be sexually attracted to females and it is not uncommon for those who transition to enter into sexual relations with woman who want to be with woman sexually and certain cities in the U.S have large populations of gay women with forums, clubs and local organizations for meet ups. There is no shortage of gay woman to meet and it is up to those who transition to decide if, when and how to communicate their transsexual history.

There has been a dramatic increase in the number of woman who want sexual relations with woman so this is a very possible path for those who transition.

You hear about having body and mind alignment but there is also another form of alignment and that is gender identity and sexuality which can run in opposite directions so a persons sexuality locks them into a body that torments them.

This can cause serious difficulties with gender dysphoria adding to the already existing suffering.

I have known several people who walked away from sex until the gender dysphoria was resolved by fully transitioning and this also removed previous sexual problems for them.

In my opinion sexual relations are very difficult in the face of gender dysphoria because of the incongruousness experienced in the sex act that your thread alluded to.

There are many forms of love and not all require sex.

[Jorja]

My dear Katie, I am here to tell you, YES love will and can find girls like us. There are surprisingly thousands if not millions of men and women who are truely looking to meet any one of us. They do exist. You just have to find them. They may be right next door or thousands of miles away. But..... you must love yourself before you can love anyone else.

[Nicole Erin]

Let us take a realistic look at a few things -
First, cats do not love humans. We are merely their servants. Dogs do love humans but are more interested in eating whatever table scraps we leave and also sniffing our crotches. (awkward silence....)

Second - After a certain age, too many people have unrealistic expectations of a partner. Like some "BBW" GG's who want a man who has a car, house, good job, and has no problem that she wears a chastity belt. Men (even the losers living at home) want some young petite blonde with huge boobs.

Also for age - I think the older people get, the more they give up on the idea of "true love". By a certain age, we all have baggage, emotional scars, and become too lazy to try making a relationship work. Jaded.

I don't know if I would call it "love" but I am kind of seeing a TS woman who is my age and we are comparable in many ways. I guess in a perfect world we would be partners. We both have our own lives though, maybe one day we will be a solid item. We actually met at a TG group.
I am pansexual with a leaning towards GG and TG so a TS woman is good.

You just have to keep your options open and your expectations realistic. Love develops over time. It isn't like when we were 21 and saw a person who gave us raging hormones and we thought we were in love. Just meet people and see where it goes, BUT, try to create an air of sex and relationship early on as to avoid that stupid "friend stage".
Think sex on a first date will ruin chances? Not always. My TS "girlfriend" and I went at it pretty nasty our first night meeting, and my (now ex) wife of 14 years - our first "date" could have been published in Penthouse magazine.

[Wildaboutheels]

I disagree. "They" say "there is someone out there for everyone" and I tend to agree...BUT.

The real question is how hard and how long are you willing to look? Being "different" undeniably lowers the odds even further. But obviously many here have found accepting partners.

IS finding a partner really that important? There are a ton of advantages to being single that you might not ever even think about?

[Dawn cd]

Human beings don't fall in love with stereotypes. They fall in love with other human beings. So if you become a whole person, love will find you.

[Xandra]

Wonderful insights. I enjoyed the read. PM me any time.

[Michelle.M]

Who is really going to Love us? Simple answer? Nobdy.

If that's the way you see it then you're done before you even start.


Straight Males simply put want Genetic Females.

My boyfriend is a straight man and we've been together about a year, so clearly that's an unsupported generalization.


Am I missing something?

I know I am. I didn't see in your post who you're hoping to have a relationship with. Do you identify as transbian, straight woman, or what?

I have transwomen friends who, like me, are dating straight men, some are married to them, some are in relationships with other trans men or trans women, some are with lesbian cisgender women.

As long as you are so fatalistic then you're quite correct, you'll be without a relationship. It's not your trans status that will keep you from finding love.

[FurPus63]

I've been slowly reading these posts over the course of a couple of days. I agree that love is going to be harder for us to find. I keep thinking about my current situation. I met a man about two months ago. He's really nice when he's with me. He makes love to me like we're on our honeymoon. Lots of passion,etc... I don't know whether to even refer to him as my "boyfriend" because he's more of a friend/benefits than an actual true boyfriend. Since our first date (which was awesome) we don't really go anywhere. When out in public he doesn't hold my hand or show any affection towards me. He doesn't introduce me to any of his friends and I wouldn't dream of him introducing me to his family. I'm his little secret lover, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't love me. He likes me well enough to keep seeing me, but I have no clue whether he loves me or not; and guess he doesn't.

As I read this I can't help but wonder why I even stay with him. He fufils a need in me I guess. I need for human touch and affection. He gives me a steady "date" almost every weekend. I don't know whether to stay and continue this superficial relationship or just break it off. The point I'm trying to make, is I can't help but feel it's going to be this way for a long time with most every man I meet or start dating. How will it be any different with someone else? I can't help but feel as long as I'm pre-op; this is my destiny when it comes to dating men.

The question for me is: will it change if/when I become post-op? I can't help but feel it will. It must. The "odds" of finding someone become dramatically increased. I can't help but feel that will make a big difference. The more men to date the chances of finding one who will love me are greatly increased in my favor; and let's face reality, there's a whole lot more men out there who want to meet and date woman with the right body parts than men who want to meet and date pre-op transsexuals.


So for me it comes down to getting surgery and taking care of this "birth defect" most people refer to as a penis. I think that will increase my chances for finding love. But that's just me and my opinion. I don't know what the answer is for anyone else.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It is very difficult to find one when one is "different", something I know too well about myself. Your best odds might be with another trans person (someone who is also "different"), either an M2F TS or F2M TS.... or even a M2F TV; there are many hetero dressers who cannot find a GG who accepts them and are lonely. If you are a TS and they are a male most of them time, you might find mutual compatibility there.

[Amy A]

Yes it's an extra obstacle, but loads of people have something that they believe will make it hard for them to find love. I had a similar converstaion with a female friend who is gay but was only attracted to feminine women. Problem is, she's not butch, so she's essentially looking for another woman just like herself, which narrows the field.

What I said to her applies to you too: stop putting people into neat little groups and take each person as you find them. Most of your OP is a collection of sweeping statements that don't bear any concession to the masses of variation in human sexuality. You are imposing your own set of limitations even before you've even met anyone else.

You say you aren't attracted to T girls because you don't want to compete at being a girl. But you don't seem to view that as a problem with gay Cisgendered women. So say, for instance, you meet a woman who was attractive and fun to be around, and who made it clear she was also attracted to you. If you found out that she was trans, would that make a difference to you?

My muddled point is that perhaps if you keep an open mind and treat people as individuals rather than as a stereotype bound by their gender/sexuality the you'll most likely find that love can crop up in unlikely places. Fair enough, if something doesn't work for you then just don't do it.

I really hope this makes sense and doesn't sound too harsh, you look great and I really hope you find what you are looking for.

Amy :)

[kimdl93]

It's fully possible...maybe even more likely than not. But first you have to really love and accept yourself. Lots of people have difficulty meeting and connecting with other people...even non CD people. Work on your interpersonal skills, be willing to put yourself out there and, don't 'need' a relationship so badly that you get drawn into a dysfunctional relationship. A lot of advice that is harder to do than it sounds, I admit, but very possible.

[Ann Louise]

Katie,

If you think about it, your post almost immediately veers off into a discussion on the suitability and desirability of who wants to have sex with whom. To me that's not "love" dear. That's sex.

A concept that I've had to come to terms with and seek to fully understand is that my gender and my sexuality, although tied together in complex ways, are two separate and distinct considerations. It is precisely the conflation of the two that has led to innumerable episodes of heartbreak and despair in my life. The separation of the two in my mind has led to happiness.

I suggest that if you, too, are truly looking for love and not simply for an exciting long-term bed-warmer, endeavor to split the two apart, at least in your early analyses of those which you think you may or may not be attracted to.

Oh, and also, we are not mind-readers, and we will never know what others are truly thinking of us, so try not to dwell on that. Live your life!

As I continue on my real-life journey through love, sexuality and gender, I liken my progression to being on a small sail boat on big, heavy seas with a good wind off the quarter, and sighting an island way off in the distance. Birds are circling overhead, the sun is out, and I can smell flowers on land! Hooray! After all that travel, I can see it! I'm almost there, and if I keep my wits about me I know I'll get there.

But my sexuality? That's been all over the map my entire life, and even now, as I induce physical and mental changes to my body and mind, that remains the case.

Love is honest, sublime, comes from deep within, develops over time, and is difficult to find. Sexuality is superficial, brash, quick, always transitory, and can be found with surprisingly little difficulty if that's all one really wants.

I suggest that you consider my approach, and concentrate on building good friendships with others, all kinds of people. Sex + love will happen when it happens. It will be worth the wait if you keep your wits about you.

Take care dear, Ann

[Jorja]

Well said Ann. Maybe we could get the moderators to make a sticky out of your post.

[ReineD]

1. Men stink! I suppose it could be that since I have male hormones coursing through my veins, it is quite possible that I don't react to the male pheromone(s) correctly. I DO however, wish I could respond to them. Maybe it is an acquired thing, I am not sure... LOL but I crave more than anything the traditional male/female relationship.

2. Women, I trust them... maybe I shouldn't but I do. I love the smell and feel of a female (Pheromones acting up again?) Not sure, however, I don't understand the mechanics of making love to a woman. Can I do it? Yes, however it feels like an "Out of Body" experience. Detached if you know what I mean. It simply isn't me.

3. T-Girls - Simply put? I don't want to compete at being the girl... I AM the girl... and ONLY a girl.

I've read many times in the TS section that transsexuals who once felt their attractions to women were sexual or romantic, discovered after taking hormones that the attraction was rather more a deep desire to feel a kinship or a sisterhood with women, and that the real sexual attraction was and had always been to men. You do say that you wish you could respond to men?

Have you also considered that you might be asexual, if you are not sexually attracted to anyone? Also, and please forgive me if this is too personal, how do you get your sexual needs met now? If you do engage in auto-eroticism, I read a paper recently sugggesting that this might be it's own sexual attraction.

As to your first post, I agree that your pool of possible romantic/sexual partners is limited, but it is not impossible. You'll just have to put yourself out there and meet as many people as you can. You may, however, find someone for whom emotional bonds are more important than sexual attraction, and this may be ideal for you?

I also wish to correct the statement you made about gay men who are attracted to the one body part that you wish you didn't have. The consensus among the male-attracted transgenders in this forum is that gay partners (generally) are just as squeamish about being in a relationship with someone who engages in cross-gender expression as are hetero GG partners. And should you go ahead with a transition, gay men would not be interested at all. But as you say, trans-admirers (or tranny chasers) are indeed attracted to people who look like women and who have penises. The theory in this community though is that trans-admirers are living precariously through their TG partners, since they themselves (generally) are unrealized crossdressers. I don't blame you for not wanting a relationship with someone who is only interested in the body part that you wish you didn't have.

[Dawn cd]

@FurPus. This response isn't meant to hijack the thread because I think you're addressing the same general issue as the OP: Can transwomen find love? You wondered if you might be more attractive to men after surgery. Maybe, but IMO that's a very poor reason to undergo surgery. One should go for surgery only when you emotionally can't live any longer with the stuff you've got. The guy you're seeing may be—as Reine said—a trannychaser who likes girls who have male equipment. Lose the equipment and you lose the guy.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Katie, after the long hard journey that you've been through is kind of dis-concerning to hear you being so down on yourself. Of course you will find love. It is out there. Just waiting for you. But first you had better learn to love yourself for who you are. Not what you want to be. Because you can't expect somebody else to love you if you can't love yourself. We are all imperfect beings striving for perfection that can not be attained in a world that frowns on defects of any kind. As children we are all encouraged to "reach for the stars". As adults we find out that the stars are always going to be just beyond our reach. But they really aren't. Not if you look for the stars within you.
Find that star first,Katie. Find it. And let it shine! Hold it up so everybody can see it. Don't hide it. That's the real you!
When you've do that somebody out there is going to see you. Then you will find the love that you so desperately want. It will be all the more fulfilling because it is "true".:)

[KatieTaylorTX]

I know I have been quietly lurking on this thread. I would like to say that I have read many encouraging words... and I would like to thank each and everyone who have replied. It is true, I have a bit of "Internal" work to do.

[DaniG]

Now, let us agree that there are indeed Some GGs that like submissive men... OK... fair enough, however, many times those relationships are considered part of Kink.

I believe that the secret behind my spectacular marriage is not only that I'm a fairly feminine woman, but that my wife is actually fairly masculine. She dated a number of men before we met (and after), and she hated all of them, their assertiveness. We act as a team and respect each other fully. I'm sure there are some men out there that would fit the bill, but a pre-op trans woman is a perfect fit for her.


Lesbian Females simply put, want Genetic Females

Mostly true, but I've seen lesbians state that they've dated trans women, and been pleasantly surprised at what they've found. There is definitely a body of lesbians that are open to, or even prefer, trans women.


I am not attracted to other T-Girls.

I didn't think I could be atracted to another M2F, but I've met some that I've caught myself thinking about far too much, one in particular. We as a group understand each other better than anyone else can. There are M2F couples on this forum that seem very happy. You might not have met anyone that suits your fancy, but try keeping an open mind. We're not all that bad if you get to know us. ;-)


Am I missing something? Or do you agree?

There's no question that it makes love tougher. I used to think like you do. But since I've gotten to know more trans women, it's clear that life can be much richer than I thought. There are some who are so beautiful that they completely blend and snag great catches by anyone's standards. Others of us may have less options, and have to expand our horizons. But one thing I've realized is that we as a group are a pretty special group of people. We've been through a lot. We're intelligent. We're definitely interesting.

You have a lot to offer. Believe in yourself.

[FurPus63]

This is such an awesome thread/post; I've been reading it for days and watching the conversation grow. We're talking about love here, right? Dating is one thing. I have had no problems getting dates, even have a guy who's seeing me quite regularly. However; when we're talking about falling-in-love, being in-love, long term relationship (years vs months) or even marriage/union; that's a whole different story.

The debate right now seems to be focused on A. Loving one's self and B. Being open to dating people based on feelings, etc....vs sexual attraction/sexual orientation, etc.... I think most of us would agree, we are not one's to judge. As transsexuals we should be open and accepting of all other people, gay, straight, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, cross dressers, everybody! Right! Of course I am. Of course I don't have prejuidice against others. I also am open to dating people of whatever sexual orientation or gender identification. However; I am stating that as of right now today, and especially since starting HRT last May, I am mostly attracted to males. Straight Males.

It makes it pretty hard for a pre-op trans lady to find a straight male lover! LOL! So I have to settle for Bi or Bicurious men or men who identify themselves as being "straight" but are attracted to trans women. This makes it real tough. Sure, like stated above, I get dates,have had lots of them; but love? What man who identifies himself as "straight" or even "bi" is going to fall-in-love with and stay in a L.T.R. with a pre-op trans?

Paulette

[KatieTaylorTX]

As you have stated, I could get a "Date" anytime. There is no shortage of horny males out there... if I want sex.. I could get as much as I could stand... but I want more.... I want real. Am I foolish? Quite possibly... but I can assure you of this much, I would rather be alone than "Be" with someone just for the sake of not being alone.

[FurPus63]

Yes! Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. I love sex the same as any other human being, and don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint; if I want it I will get it and have. That's not the issue here, though. I think you and I Katie are thinking simularly. I'm very scared it's going to take a long time for me to find love if I stay pre-op. It's hard enough when one is "normal" and I don't want to insult anyone with that word it's just the only one I can think of right now; but when one is pre-op trans finding love is very difficult.

Then I also was thinking, what if I find someone to love me; and alas, I don't love them! Do I settle for that? I probably will be shot down for saying this, but it's the truth or at least it's my truth. I guess I'm living with a lot of fear and can't help but feel that until I'm post-op it's not going to go away. I hope I'm wrong. It would be great to find a guy right now who loved me enough to go through the entire transition process with me and be there waiting when I came out of surgery. That would be wonderful. That would be my ultimate wish/dream come true.

Paulette