Meet up with people

[undercovercd]

How can I be safe when meeting another crossdresser?

[DeeArel]

I usually meet in a controlled or public environment.

[AllieSF]

The best way for me is to meet them in guy mode for a coffee or beer and just talk. If you feel comfortable with them, meeting en femme or even dressing at one or the other's place should be a lot safer and more fun. The first time I met another CD, we met in in a local and nice motel. The other person was a doctor at a local hospital and they helped me agree to meet that way. That fortunately turned out to be a wonderful moment that definitely was key to my accepting myself for who I am and thoroughly enjoying this side of me. All we did was dress and I felt totally safe. However, now that I have been doing this for a few years now, you still need to be careful, because some want more than just dressing up and talking.

Look at it this way, would you meet in guy a stranger to talk about some hobby? I would. Remember that you are still a guy on the inside and maybe a string guy that can take care of yourself, so just take your normal precautions. If you are small and a wimp like I am, let your natural instincts help guide you. Good luck.

[Beverley Sims]

Arrange to meet others for coffee somewhere like Starbucks .

[Karren H]

Don't use Craig List!

[kimdl93]

Seems like the best way would be to join a transgender support group in your general area...would Kansas City or St. Louis be closer for you? I bet there are groups there.

[I Am Paula]

Are you meeting as a potential love interest, or someone for girl talk?
If it's just social, CD's are a pretty mild mannered bunch. If you're trying to hook up, think like a GG, and the potential perils they might face. Keep it real public until you decide she's not a creep.

[Rachelakld]

I meet at coffee shops for a coffee, it doesn't lock you in to a time and you can leave anytime.

[Sabrina133]

If you are meeting for the first time - coffee shop or pub or restaurant. Somewhere public that you can easily leave without feeling "bound". Dont park in the venue parking lot if it can be seen from inside the location.

[GothicEmily]

I agree that the first meeting should be in public if at all possible.

If you do get to a point where you're going to go somewhere alone with someone you don't know all that well, one good idea is to set up a "deadman system". Find a friend you can tell about your outing. Tell this friend whom you're meeting, and where, and why. Then tell your friend "If you don't hear from me by 10:00pm/in 4 hours, call the police." (Substitute whatever length of time or whatever hour you think is appropriate.) To add a layer of paranoia[1] to this, really savvy predators sometimes know about this system, so you might want to work out an innocuous-sounding code phrase to use--a way to say "I'm fine" in a way that both parties will understand to mean you're actually in trouble--if you're being forced to make your "safe call" under duress.

I don't mean to subscribe to "Mean World Syndrome"--the vast majority of people out there are good-hearted folks with good intentions--but it makes sense to be cautious. The predators are out there and an encounter with one could really ruin your whole day.

[1]I mean in the geek sense of "extra caution", not in the psychological, clinical sense.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Don't use Craig List!

Absolutely great advice! There are a lot of crazies out there. A murder was committed through Craig's List. The murderer once worked for a friend of mine and it creeped her out. Look for groups and a contact person in your area. There are plenty! Also contact a nearby college or university to find safe contacts. I have seen members here from my area but I still hesitate to make contact.

I met someone in my area in the classifieds of Tapestry magazine. We met at a McDonalds many years ago on a Saturday afternoon before the internet and sat in my car talking. The redneck guys in the truck next to us probably thought we were gay. LOL! We eventually became great friends and as couples with our wives we shared many nice moments. My friend is now happily living as a woman after having SRS. Be cautious but don't be afraid to connect with some new friends! Play it safe though! At least I have a friend I can call anytime. Hmm, maybe I'll call her and ask how she and her wife are doing!

Cheryl