Decided not to meet up with a long time admirer.

[Alice Torn]

A year or more ago, on another site, i met an admirer. We agreed to meet up sometime, but schedules, and distance kept blocking it. Later, i found out he was still married, in a loveless marriage. I sent him many pics, some videos. But, lately, it is obvious he is obsessed, and can't get me out of his mind. I told him it would be NSA. But, now i see i have been teasing him, with pics, and he is full of desire for me. So, today, i left an apology, told him i was wrong to tease him like i did, and that i really would not meet a married person. My lonliness for a woman, has pushed me to be the woman, with a man, and deep down, i am conflicted about that, and still desire a gg. Modeling for another single, with no penetration sex, maybe.

[famousunknown]

wrong on so many levels...wow, not even sure where to start on this one...

[kimdl93]

Alice, would you be willing to try to get out and meet some real women in real life...volunteer, join a club, or some other activity that attracts women your age. Take your time, be yourself and let nature run its course.

[Alice Torn]

Kim, That would be nice. I was going to a 12 step group for messed up adult children, but it folded. I put an ad on Craigslist for a bicycling partner today. I hope to do more volunteering after my dad dies, but that could be years yet. Thinking of going back to church, even though it does not condone crossdressing. It would be better than always in solitude, other than my sick family of origin. Hoping the nursing home here will let me bring my cats in again, for therapy. Part of me wants to look pretty for men, though. But, if a right gg came into my life, i might be more loving for her alone.

[kimdl93]

Have you considered another attendig church, even occasionally? I understand that the one you belong to has no tolerance for people like us. You might just just visit , in drab, some,other congregation in a church with more accepting views...not to officially join, but to experience some social interactions. See if its comfortable. You don't have to reject your own church teachings, but just like here, you are free to associate with others who hold different points of view, gain some distance from your family and maybe meet someone.

[Norah_joy]

I don't understand why Alice is "so wrong on many levels". Afterall, she did communicate with the man and told him she would not meet with him because he is married. I personally do not believe it is wrong to meet an admirer on line.

Norah

[Beverley Sims]

Alice,
I can agree with your caution to meet with someone on line after finding out he is married.
I would suggest you try meeting with a social group from a church that is more tolerant with those of us who dress.
Sending him pictures of yourself is not teasing but it all hinges on the fact that you did not know that he was married till later.
You have left an apology and I think take a new turn and start interacting with a social group instead of the internet.

Kim, aka Kimdl93 has a suggestion contained in two posts and I suggest you read those any my comments, go away from the computer, and then consider them at your leisure.
From your writing I understand you are a resident in a nursing home, maybe there is someone there that could assist you.
I also am mindful that they may not be approving of your activities either.
This would complicate things further.

[Vickie_CDTV]

The fact he said he was married should have set off alarm bells immediately. If he treats his wife (and family if he has children!!) with such a total lack of respect, what can make you think he won't also treat you like trash?

Leading a man on like that can also be very dangerous, if he finds out where you live.

[famousunknown]

I don't understand why Alice is "so wrong on many levels". Afterall, she did communicate with the man and told him she would not meet with him because he is married. I personally do not believe it is wrong to meet an admirer on line.

Norah

It's obvious that there are many things people don't understand. Let's agree to disagree.

[AllyCDTV]

I have had a few situations where I sensed that online admirers were starting to get serious with me and I always set them straight before things got too far. Playing with somebody online is one thing as long as both parties know that it's play. When things even hint at advancing into real life, that's when the play ends. You have to keep in mind that these are real people with real desires and hang-ups. Things can take a huge turn when it gets into real life. And that turn is often not for the better.

[VanTG]

May I ask what churches you go to, in General ?

[andreanna]

I am sorry, but everyone seems to think that church is a good source. People in the church are just the same as when they are in the bar or on the street. Most are hypocrites that are nice in church and would prefer to cut your throat when you are away from the church. The church is only a building, what is in you is where the church is

[Erica2Sweet]

I am sorry, but everyone seems to think that church is a good source. People in the church are just the same as when they are in the bar or on the street. Most are hypocrites that are nice in church and would prefer to cut your throat when you are away from the church...

For a site full of members who are looking for a fair shake in terms of tolerance and understanding, isn't it hypocritical to go Defcon 5 in hatefulness when the subject of church comes up?

While I get that the outside world is really not that nice of a place these days in terms of morals and values of its inhabitants, what you would find in our church is nothing like what you would find in the bar scene. I've spent enough time with our friends from the church to know that they are no where near in the same place in life that many of the people I used to meet in my days as a working musician. In reality you wouldn't find too many of them ever stepping foot inside a bar, and good for them. I personally think an individual would do wise to steer clear of the bar scene in general and focus on places to meet people who are much more likely to be in a healthy frame of mind like you would find in a church.

[whowhatwhen]

wrong on so many levels...wow, not even sure where to start on this one...

Why?
Because it's 2 genetic males?

[rachael.davis]

"Married man, in a loveless relationship that he cannot leave because......."

Honey if you shake any tree in the orchard three cheating men who use that line will fall out

[Ressie]

When an admirer talks about traveling from another state for a chance to get together I feel uneasy. But if it's someone I'm really attracted to there's an inclination to fantasize about it, which would increase the chances of it really happening.


My lonliness for a woman, has pushed me to be the woman, with a man, and deep down, i am conflicted about that, and still desire a gg. Modeling for another single, with no penetration sex, maybe.

I can relate to this. After my divorce in 2004 I thought it would be best not to date for at least a year. That somehow has turned into 9 years. For me there are trust issues for one, plus I actually like spending a lot of time alone. Also add in that I'm too picky! Closet CDing seems to have an antisocial affect.

The admirer being married wouldn't have to be a deal breaker if it were NSA, but it would get too dramatic with ramifications in Alice's case. I don't like getting involved in other peoples lives.