Scary trip to 7-11

[Candice Mae]

I made a new goal to try and get out at least once every week or two, usually a drive or a short walk. Today I was feeling a little braver. So I decided on a trip to 7-11 for a coffee. I though it would be quick and easy, just get in and out. I got my coffee and was adding sugar when I heard some one walk up behind me. I didn't think much of it just kept going about my business. Then I hear a guy say "can I get some sugar, sugar?" and a hand slide down my back to my waist. :eek:

I froze and turned to my side to see a guy standing beside me, my instinct was to turn and clock the guy. But luckily I was able to control myself, and avoid making the situation worse. I turned and gave the cashier money leaving without getting change. I got in my truck and as I was pulling out of the parking, I looked back to see the guy watching me drive off.

I'm still shaking... I don't think I'll be going out for a while now.:straightface:

[Vickie_CDTV]

He would deserve to be decked for touching you... unfortunately, in this society today where there is no common sense or personal responsibility applied to the law, you are actually the one who could have ended up in legal trouble if you had.

But he would deserve it.

I would never touch a GG I didn't know anywhere... what was this guy, raised by wolves?

[ArleneRaquel]

A frightening situation. Stay safe darli and always be carefull. Ladies are always subject to predators.

[Julie Gaum]

Congrats--- you passed! Now you take your time, when the shaking is over, to think out the best retort for that situation. I'm sure many members here (I'm not one yet) can provide good advice on how to handle an incident like that for the future.
Julie

[Angela Campbell]

I have had similar. It is not fun at all. I just try to never be anywhere by myself just as a GG would.

How would I (do I ) handle it.....I get the hell out of dodge. I probably would not even have bought the coffee.

[Candice Mae]

Thanks ladies, I'm starting to come back down to earth now. But, I still can't help but feel violated. I know it was nothing compared to what I've seen GG's deal with in the past, but being a hetero CD adds a different dimension to it. I now fully understand why my Mom used to warn my sister about guys when she was younger.

[Beverley Sims]

Candice,
I had to smile, I frequented 7/11s in Europe and they always had the flotsam of life inside.
They were situated in high density living areas and I never went to them dressed late at night.

Sorry it was unpleasant for you.
Do more daytime outings.

[CarmenSkye]

That is very creepy. Unfortunately you did all you could do. I would have done the same..

[famousunknown]

I would never touch a GG I didn't know anywhere... what was this guy, raised by wolves?

I don't get why this is so surprising to anyone. There are animals everywhere. If you think there are no risks to going out, think again.

[SheriM]

I can certainly understand how you feel Candice. I would never touch a female like that - it's out of bounds. And his comment was way out of bounds. However, judging from your photo, I can see why he saw you as attractive. You look like a beautiful woman. You are passing which is what we all try to attain. It's another part of being a woman.

[AllyCDTV]

My first first thought might be that hot coffee in the face makes for a wonderful learning experience, but that would probably just make a bad situation worse. You handled it well. Now you know to stay out of places like 7-11

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Glad you made it through Candice. Just watch your surroundings and the people there the next time. Too many creeps out there!

Cheryl

[Alexis.j]

My tip for the day: please ladies, always carry a can of pepper spray/mace with you when walking in the morning or evenings. I go for a walk every morning with my dog.
Its just not that safe out there anymore, male or female, but dressed up, can just cause extra unwanted attention.

[GothicEmily]

Wow, that's scary. I'm sorry that that happened to you.

[Stephanie Miller]

A simple turn while "spilling" your coffie down his pants "OH! I'm sorry. You startled me!" would have done the trick. :devil:

[Kate Simmons]

I would have called his bluff but that's just me I guess.:)

[ArleneRaquel]

After an encounter like that one I would be shaking all night.

[stacycoral]

MIss Candice, you really know how women feel now when guys are not proper to women, I so happy that you were able to keep the event safe, it only say how cute you are as a woman, YOU GO GIRL!!!!! hugs.

[stephNE]

I'm glad you are OK. I think you handled it well.

[Lorileah]

Ya did good kid. You walked away. That was the smartest move. I tend to be a smart alec but I have learned that it is better not say anything. If you would have done anything different, it would have been to hand the coffee to the clerk and softly say you cannot be in a place where the customers are like that guy.

[Wildaboutheels]

Your post gave no indication that he "busted" you and/or was trying to insult you...?

It's no wonder you were at least temporarily scared. Simply being touched anywhere when we are not expecting it [regardless of the circumstances] can do that and you were "dressed".

I'm guessing you haven't been out much but you handled it PERFECTLY. Had you pulled a "gut reaction" and spun and punched or tossed coffee [onto possibly a friend just messing with you] you might have felt pretty bad. Clearly, it was wrong for him to touch you, but you WERE safe inside the store and he obviously was not aiming for private parts and did not follow you out of the store. I think it should give you more confidence that you have hit a very large pothole in the road and negotiated it safely. It might have simply been a "bad compliment" from a clueless/classless guy.

Good Job!

[Emogene]

Well ladies, at least those of you who are out to your family, here is another one of those teaching moments!

You might want to discuss this with sons and daughters so they are prepared.

My sons clearly would never be a predator but . . . . Never hurts to mention appropriate behavior with the ladies.

And our daughters all need to know how to try to safely avoid or react to this type of assault! Which it was!

[MissTee]

You did the right thing by simply leaving. Never fight unless it's absolutely necessary. I've seen way too many people get messed up thinking they could "take" someone.

[Princess Chantal]

Maybe seeing a lovely transperson hit a switch in him that made him go "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" in which he would have never done to a genetic woman. Let's face it, the aurora of a transperson quite often clouds people's best judgements

[Tracii G]

So glad you are safe and OK.It is really scary I know.
I have only had that happen one time at Target getting a drink in the lunch area, all I did was step to the side and said EXCUSE ME I'm married in a loud voice.
All the people around got a good look at him too and he rushed out.
The girl behind the counter saw everything and she said wow that guy was a jerk are you OK?
She asked me to stay in the store until he was out of the parking lot. Good advice I thought.

[Diana Bain]

Great job remaining calm...you held back your male side...which was probally a benefit to him(...and probally you too.)

[docrobbysherry]

Unless u can pass or r TS, what's the point of a CD going out in vanilla land dressed? I don't get it!

Just scary and stressful to me. Unless I'm out clubbing, etc., with other girls? Dressing amongst the Muggles? No way, Jose!

[Eryn]

Lesson learned. Good show on keeping calm and defusing the situation.

Next time, move upscale. Go to a Starbucks. Panera, or any place that doesn't cater to Joe Sixpack's need for booze and cigarettes.

[suchacutie]

It's complicated, isn't it? On one hand you have some level of validation for passing. On the other hand there is so much to learn about how GGs handle unwanted advances since it's different from how we'd handle that in male mode. Like anything else, we handle it better after we've lived through a couple dozen of these incidents. And just how might we handle this en femme? A big smile and a small turn away as one says, "the counter is all yours", or "you're on your own", or "sorry for hogging the space" or "go for it...bye"? The tipped hot coffee creates the problem of having to deal with the aftermath, no matter how satisfying it may be! Like everything else en femme, it takes practice!

Glad you're safe and you did wonderfully!

[STACY B]

Sure is a Good sign of Looking Good Candy ,,, Your So Sweet he just wanted to put YOU in his Cup ,,lol,,,

MEOWWWWWWWWWWW

[Aly Cat]

I would have used the deepest manly voice I could conjure up and say....please remove your hand sir.....turn, look him dead in the eyes and then walk past him to the counter and pay. I bet he would be totally stupified and dumbfounded and then you would have had the last laugh :D

[Nicole Erin]

what if he had called you "sugarpants"?
Was he cute at least?

[AmyGaleRT]

I would have been tempted to go "Captain Mal" on that guy...turn around, grab him by the shirt-front, switch to my normal male voice, and say, "I'd advise you to treat ladies with the proper respect. Or I swear, by my pretty sparkly headband, I will end you." I suppose that only works if you're Nathan Fillion though. :D

But I'd probably just stick to saying "Excuse me?" in the loudest, most attention-getting Amy-voice I could muster. Kind of like Tracii did with her harasser in Target.

Now I know why I've avoided 7-Elevens in Amy-mode...

- Amy

[Brittany CD]

That is a troubling situation and it's something many women go through. Hope you're feeling better

[Elsa Larson]

His approach was crude and rude. He's probably been doing it for a long time and occasionally gets lucky. Maybe he does it only to ciswomen but there's a chance he read you as trans.

I have a gg friend who would say, "Welcome to the world of womanhood."

Elsa

[Plasibeau]

I had a documentary in the the pride film festival last year in San Fransisco after the showing I was standing outside having a smoke, with two trans-men and I had to fight off the amorous advances of some jaggoff who just walked up to me and tried to kiss me. After his second attempt I had to (in heels mind you) call upon my high school football days to shove him clear across the side walk and into row of newspaper machines. It really ground home that sense of male privilege that I've lived with most of my life and how that pretty much gets left behind every time we step out the door dressed.

Buuuuuuuuut here's the silver lining, my friends hate when I do this, he wouldn't have done that if you didn't pass. Soooo yeah . . .

[Eryn]

...It really ground home that sense of male privilege that I've lived with most of my life...

I don't believe that there is any "male privilege" to touch women in that way. Some people are just plain crude.

I don't have a just solution to the problem. One could go all Malcolm Reynolds on them "I swear by my pretty floral bonnet..." but that approach only works for space cowboys who don't care about outing themselves. Sometimes it's better to just walk away from the situation.

[Badtranny]

Buuuuuuuuut here's the silver lining, my friends hate when I do this, he wouldn't have done that if you didn't pass. Soooo yeah . . .

Not likely. Dudes only get sexually aggressive AFTER they read me. T-girls have a reputation for being easy. Based on my own experience as a fully transitioned trans woman who gets read frequently, I highly doubt that a part-timer can pass up close as such an enticing creature that a man just can't help himself.

A good looking trans woman is at much greater risk of sexual assault than a good looking GG I would say. One, they think we're game and two, they are horribly embarrassed when they get rebuffed. An embarrassed dude with a boner is a dangerous dude indeed.

[heatherdress]

Candice - Sorry that this happened to you and I think you responded fine.

7-11s are not locations I feel comfortable, even when not dressed.

[CarleyR]

Some of this is hindsight thinking. I don't think Candice made a mistake going to 7-11 -- it's a logical place for a short in-and-out trip at night, with no crowd or unwelcome observers likely -- and I think she handled this unexpected and highly unwelcome incident very wisely. It's a good warning for those us who may not be as quick witted as her, that we should plan for the unexpected.

[Jenny CD]

Continue to out, love. don't leave it to idiots.

[BlairP]

Am I the only one who thinks that is kind of hot? You passed in the best way possible. And there was no threat to you. I like that story. I wish I had your genetic gifts and bravery :)

[Candice Mae]

Thanks for the support ladies! I will go out again, but I'll have to wait a bit to get my comfort level back up.

As far as if I passed or if he knew that I was tg, I have no idea I didn't stick around to ask. I'm 5'7", 155lbs, and a size eight. I blend well, but if someone paying attention I can Defiently be read. My most obvious give away is my hands, they've taken years of abuse and don't look feminine.

I choose 7-11, because the Starbucks/second cups in my local area are always really busy and I wanted a quick in and out trip. Also I'm not too confident in my voice, which at 7-11 I don't really have to use.

Overall it's a lesson learned.

[PattiAllison]

Dear Candice, I think that you handled the situation very well, I am proud of you. Don't let one jerk keep you from going out. Just be careful and maybe keep a can of mace or pepper spray in your purse, that is what I plan to do from now on.

[Ceri Anne]

Congrats--- you passed! Now you take your time, when the shaking is over, to think out the best retort for that situation. I'm sure many members here (I'm not one yet) can provide good advice on how to handle an incident like that for the future.
Julie

I too have had a situation somewhat like yours, and the first thing to do, reassure yourself, that indeed you carry yourself well. Do not let this animal spoil your outings. Be prepared next time with a calm yet firm......please remove your hand. Continue to be you, continue to gather your courage and grow. Best Wishes Sis.

[linda allen]

............., I still can't help but feel violated.

Well, you were violated.. That sort of behavior was tolerated many years ago, bot not in this century. If you had had a mind to, you could have called the police and had the man arrested. Lot's of trouble for a crossdresser, but he commited a crime by intentionally touching you and making a sexual comment.

Of course you could have turned around and in your deepest, manliest voice said "Watch it dude if you don't want to lose a few teeth."


My tip for the day: please ladies, always carry a can of pepper spray/mace with you when walking in the morning or evenings. I go for a walk every morning with my dog.
Its just not that safe out there anymore, male or female, but dressed up, can just cause extra unwanted attention.

Carrying pepper spray or mace is against the law in many places. Using it in this case would have been over reacting and would have made the situation worse. Candice could have ended up in jail.

[dawnmarrie1961]

I used to work as a night cashier at a 7-11 in Virgina. I'm transgendered but I'm not stealth. During my tenure there I met quite a variety of seedy characters. Most of my customers behaved very respectfully towards me but there are always those few who think that transgendered people are easy targets. They think we are "push-overs". That we aren't gonna fight back!
You should have gone all Wolverine on that piece of dirt! Nobody has the right to touch you without your consent. This bozo might have thought you were the genuine article but that still doesn't give him a hall pass.
I've had dudes that thought it was OK to grab my ass. That because of who I am it is completely acceptable. They quickly learned that it isn't!
It is not UN-ladylike to protect yourself. If we don't what's to stop that person from trying again..and again...until something really bad happens?
Yes. You found out that it can be a little dicey out there in the real world but don't let that stop you from being yourself.
Be safe. Be smart.

[alwayshave]

Carrying pepper spray or mace is against the law in many places. Using it in this case would have been over reacting and would have made the situation worse. Candice could have ended up in jail.

It is in DC. My fiancee carries a small can of wasp spray, as it is not a weapon, but a tool.

[Kalista Jameson]

Wow Candice, that was crazy. Glad he didn't try more than that.

Everyone typically reacts in a fight or flight way. I myself am a fighter (Tae Kwon Do blackbelt earned in 1991 and traded in for a PS2 in 2001) and would have instantly reacted in a way that would have kept him from going to 7-11 for a while. All reactionary. Even to this day when someone unexpectedly touches me on the shoulder from behind or surprises me with a sudden appearance my body reacts defensively. I nearly obliterated a good and much smaller friend once years ago when they jumped me for fun when they saw me somewhere. My elbows flew fast and the next thing they knew I had them bent over kissing the ground while nearly breaking their wrist.

I was both scared that I had hurt him bad and equally as surprised by my instant response. After apologizing profusely I was like, "dude, for both our sakes, don't ever do that again." I occasionally have to tell people not to play with me that way just to avoid tragedy. I gotta admit though, that would be the makings for a great youtube video. Pervert in 7-11 gets destroyed by dude in pantyhose while trying to get a cup full of Joe and got a fist full of Kalista instead. LOL.

Seriously though Candice, glad you got out of there okay. Try not to let it shake you too much. Guys like that are rare. And remember the old adage about getting thrown from the horse. Get right back up and on it or the fear of riding will overwhelm you and rob you of the joy you once got from it.

Cheers,

Kalista

[Juliea661]

Sorry this happened to you Candice... But gosh, you handled it soooo well!
I have two grown daughters, and so incidents like this really bother me.
GGs have such a significant extra burden put on them with regard to their safety, that it saddens me. How society passively accepts so much sexual abuse and assault of our women is a tragedy! Yes, how was that guy raised, what was he taught, and what examples of how to respect women was he exposed to growing up? Our whole culture needs to be reviewed with regard to how women are abused, get less pay for the same work, and are exploted as sexual objects...
Anyway, so glad it ended well for you!
Hugs, Jules

[Lorileah]

You passed in the best way possible. And there was no threat to you.

Really? No threat? I want to live your fairytale world. At the least his touching could be considered assault. And his mannerisms and approach was very aggressive. A normal man would have asked her to please hand him some sugar (and we all know his innuendo wasn't about sweeteners). No threat huh? I think it was very threatening and rude and improper.

Candice did what she should have done. She walked away. I hope she made eye contact first so he knew she got a good look at him. This wasn't a bar on Saturday night. It was a 7/11 in daylight. Trust me fantasies of being "taken" and "forced" are not like the real thing. I think the guy was a creep.

[Barbra P]

Hi Candice

I’m sort of in the same boat with Julie – “Congrats--- you passed!” Looking at your Avatar you very much present as a very attractive young woman and now you know what many similarly attractive women have to put up with. By all accounts you passed another milestone; you know what it feels like to be a woman when a strange man finds you attractive. I read here all the time in posts where the poster just wants to get out and be treated like a woman, to feel what it is like to be a woman out in public, well now you know.

I’m too old and I don’t feel that I even come close to passing but I would have walked out to my truck and driven off with a smile while thinking “Wow! That guy thought I looked good enough that he hit on me.” You got the looks, now if you have the voice you could have smiled at him and simply said “Sorry, not today fella” and calmly walked out.

[lingerieLiz]

It happens to GGs too.

[bomba]

i would have been scared but think about it.you just had a truly feminine experience.now you know what it feels like to be a women.once i got out of there i would have felt great

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have to wonder what the GGs here are thinking while reading this thread. I doubt many would consider unwanted touching to be in any way a positive thing. Not to mention, just because someone touches you inappropriately does not mean one is passing, the person involved could be attracted to trans, or doesn't care either way what is between the legs; that does not mean that one is not passing of course, but likewise it is not an indicator of passing.

If being touched inappropriately by strange men is an indicator of passing, I am content being read. No, seriously...

[Alice Torn]

I might be tempted to say, Sorry, i'm a guy in a dress.

One more thing. It's good he did not follow you all over on the roads!

[Jana]

Sorry to hear that. Good thing you are safe. Unfortunately, in this world we live in, GGs (and those presenting as such, like us) need to grow eyes in the back of their heads...

[Chickhe]

Its really hard to do this...nobody wants to call attention to themselves, but program yourself to do it. You don't have to provide your real name to anyone, not even the police. If something like this happens, you need to make sure there are some witnesses... the store clerk for example...so shout out loud 'get your hands off me a-hole!' ...you want the guy to respond with a rude comment back that everyone will hear and repeat over and over out loud what the guy did to you. Hopefully in the 7-11 there will be video recordings. Call the police immediately and get the guys license number, name, description etc. ...then the guy will have to deal with the police and being a such an 'upstanding' character the police may discover some other issues... Guys like that have a whole list of people behind them who wished they had done something... More and more I see the value in reporting such incidents because it helps the police build a file on a criminal even if you don't press charges in the end.

[Allison Chaynes]

First off, glad you're OK!

I'd second making a really loud comment. There was a suspected child molester showing up in our neighborhood last year and parking at the end of the street next to my son's bus stop. I taught my son to yell RAPE as loud as he could if a stranger EVER got out of a car and talked to, or grabbed him. If that won't get the attention of others, what will? I ended up finally catching up with the guy one morning (I was walking my son to the bus stop), wrote down the license plate and make of the vehicle without confronting him, and the police ended up arresting him on drug charges. Sorry to digress a little, just wanted to paint a picture to maybe help in the future.

[Kalista Jameson]

First off, glad you're OK!

I'd second making a really loud comment. There was a suspected child molester showing up in our neighborhood last year and parking at the end of the street next to my son's bus stop. I taught my son to yell RAPE as loud as he could if a stranger EVER got out of a car and talked to, or grabbed him.

Screaming, "Fire" is even better. Many will not want to get involved in walking into a potentially dangerous situation, but everyone will show up if they think something is burning. =)

Cheers,

Kalista

[Shelly Preston]

I think you did the right thing Candice

While what he did was unpleasant calling out in a loud male voice may have made the situation worse. The chances are he had no idea you were not a GG and making him aware of that fact could have made him turn nasty.

[Danielle_cder]

did u hear bout that freak in ohio.....they are out there. please gf's b careful!!!!!

[Darla]

Oaky - you answered my thinking whether or not he clocked you - maybe.

That's said, getting the heck out of there making sure he didn't follow was the best option - congrats gold star.

Okay. Those who think she should have confronted him in deep manly voice - shame on you! Nothing's worse than a dirtbag getting turned down except for a dirtbag "tricked" by a persons gender. Um - Matthew Sheppard anyone? This guy might not have had any bad thoughts until he was "duped" and felt it was okay to go beat up the dude in a dress.

Honey - you did the right thing. My wife's sensei always said "never be there in the first place, but when you are - run".

Good job. Stay away from the 7-11s in the future and find yourself a friend to go out with.

Good luck
Darla

[Melissa Rose]

I'm sorry you had a scary encounter. It should not happen, but it does.

IMHO, walking away with the minimal amount of confrontation is the best way to handle this type of situation. What would be gained by unnecessary escalation? At best, he would back off which is probably the same result as quieting disengaging as fast as possible. At worse, it could escalate an already touchy (pun intended) situation. If your physical safety or personal space is being threatened and no other viable options are available, by all means, fight back as appropriate. I've had to remove a hand or two from my leg or back along with giving a death stare or speaking a simple comment a few times while at a bar. The message got through without taking it any further.

Jerks and a-holes can be found anywhere so stereotyping those patronizing 7-11 is a bit unfair. I have been in many convenience stores and gas station mini-marts without any problems. I would not go into one in a bad neighborhood or if anything looked suspicious, but that would apply all of the time. The biggest jerk I have encountered was in a nice mall, and I am have continued spending too much time there. Fry's Electronics was another place where a guy followed me in the parking lot. If he did not leave me alone after the first "Sorry, I'm not interested", I would have walked back into the store and notified them about me being harassed by one of their customers. I carry pepper spray, but it would be a last resort.

Not to burst any bubbles, but getting hit on is not proof you passed. It is only one of several possible and reasonable conclusions.

[linda allen]

Its really hard to do this...nobody wants to call attention to themselves, but program yourself to do it. You don't have to provide your real name to anyone, not even the police. ...........

Providing a false name to the police is illegal.

To persue this, you have to provide your real name and be prepared to deal with the fallout of being publically outed. You may have to appear in court and testify as to what happened. You won't be in female attire but you will have to admit to being in female attire at the time of the assault.

Just like people who prey on illegal aliens, knowing that they won't report the crime, some people will prey on crossdressers, gays, etc., figuring that they will not report the crime.

[jfem]

As a LEO I would have loved to see you deck him!! You would have been 100% justified.

For everyone here PLEASE don't be intimidated by jerks like this. Stick up for your rights and DECK him!

[Vickie_CDTV]

Assuming the guy didn't know and thought she was a GG, revealing oneself to be a man would probably be the worst thing one can do; there are plenty of stories of men assaulting or murdering women after the discovery of the woman being trans is made.



As a LEO I would have loved to see you deck him!! You would have been 100% justified.
For everyone here PLEASE don't be intimidated by jerks like this. Stick up for your rights and DECK him!

I totally agree in principle, but remember, we live in a time where people often blame the victim (and the fact the victim was trans cab make this even worse... after all we are are all crazy sex obsessed perverts, right?) If she had used force to stop him, she could have been in trouble legally, and would have to deal with problems that come with dealing with the legal system, as Linda Allen said above. It sounds insane, but these are insane times we are living in, and blaming the victim happens all the time.

[AllyCDTV]

I totally agree in principle, but remember, we live in a time where people often blame the victim (and the fact the victim was trans cab make this even worse... after all we are are all crazy sex obsessed perverts, right?) If she had used force to stop him, she could have been in trouble legally, and would have to deal with problems that come with dealing with the legal system, as Linda Allen said above. It sounds insane, but these are insane times we are living in, and blaming the victim happens all the time.

We also live in a time when you don't know who is carrying a gun and how likely they are to use it. If you ever deck someone, you either better make sure they don't get up again or be out of range by the time they do get up.

[linda allen]

As a LEO I would have loved to see you deck him!! You would have been 100% justified.

For everyone here PLEASE don't be intimidated by jerks like this. Stick up for your rights and DECK him!

It's easy to tell someone to "deck him" or for someone to say he would kick someone's a$$. Reality is though, there's a good chance the other party is bigger than you, stronger than you, or just a more skilled fighter than you. And as someone else pointed out, he might have a weapon.

A person who is inappropriately touched by another person has the right to call the police and have the other person arrested. If instead of calling the police, you decide to "deck him" or kick his a$$", now all we have is two people fighting. If the police are called, both parties go to jail. Nobody wins.

The OP did the adult thing, she walked away from trouble. She didn't end up in a hospital or in jail.

[FelicityMay]

I think i would be terrified in this situation too...
but on the bright side, at least you can pass as a beautiful girl :D

[Vickie_CDTV]

Please understand being harassed does not mean one is passable and/or beautiful (by society's standards.) My elderly, chronically ill mother has been harassed by men a number of times over the last few years, and because of her poor health (it really shows) she is not what one would think of "beautiful" in society's superficial sense; men who do such things may like trans women, might like woman with certain characteristics (size, age, disability, perceived weakness and vulnerability, etc.), or just don't care what they look like.

[jfem]

Sorry folks but thats what is wrong in society today. If someone touchs you innapropriately, you have a God given and law protecting right to DEFEND yourself. We all must get into a mind set that once someone VIOLATES you, that person must be put back into their place quickly and violently. No court of law will find you guilty of any criminal offense. Most of us have become "wussy-fied" because we are scared of not being believed.

I feel sorry for the OP. She was going about her normal life, now if I read her words correcty, is scard to go out cause of this jerk. If she had followed her insting and punched him I am sure her attitude would be alot diffrent.

Violence is not the first response, MOST times, bur sometimes it is the ONLY respose.

[Badtranny]

Sorry folks but thats what is wrong in society today.

So THAT'S what it is. I was always wondering what's wrong with society today.



Most of us have become "wussy-fied" because we are scared of not being believed.

Well, I grew up getting my ass kicked by jerks and phobes so I'm certainly not afraid of another one, but if there is one lesson I took from all of that, is that violence isn't the answer. Perhaps I've been wussified despite their best efforts to "make a man" out of me. Seems to have backfired because years later, I ended making a man out of one of the bullies in the back of a pickup truck. Who knew that a rabid homophobe would end up being a closet case?

[rachael.davis]

Hi Candice

This is that "life without male privledge" thing you hear about, and it is as scary as all hell on occasion.
7-11 late night is what a cop friend refers to as a "white trash magnet, you're getting folks who have been in bars, folks who have decided they need more beer and nachos at 11pm, and of course normal folks who ran out of something, but it's not an ideal spot for a single woman (even a heterosexual male one). Glad you rode into Dodge, and rode out the other side

[rachael.davis]

So THAT'S what it is. I was always wondering what's wrong with society today. .......

edit for space

. Who knew that a rabid homophobe would end up being a closet case?

Gee, never seen that happen:battingeyelashes:

[AllyCDTV]

7-11 late night is what a cop friend refers to as a "white trash magnet, you're getting folks who have been in bars, folks who have decided they need more beer and nachos at 11pmThat's exactly why whenever I'm at a 7-11 late at night, I keep an eye on the door to see if the next customer is wearing a ski mask and carrying a sawed off.

[Plasibeau]

I don't believe that there is any "male privilege" to touch women in that way. Some people are just plain crude.



Well I was referring to the "male privileged" of not being seen as a target, or weaker than. As for men putting their hands on women in inappropriate manner it happens . . . alot. Ask your GG friends . . .

[sarahNZ]

My tip for the day: please ladies, always carry a can of pepper spray/mace with you

I would love to, but this is ilegal in New Zealand, as are handguns anywhere but a firing range.

But then again I am 6'5" in heals and 233lb so I dont think any one will mistake me at the best of times, and as all of my jobs have been physical in nature I have the physique to go with it. Not too many people tend to mess with me at the best of times. I know it is a possibility but its rare ill put it that way.

Candice Im sorry you had to go through this, I hope you dont have any more problems in the future.

[CherylFlint]

7-11's and gas stations are not safe places even when not dressed.

[Alana Wests]

So according to Dan Savage, people who act lewd in public often get off more on the idea that they shock people into a non-reaction. He always advises folks to peacefully and assertively confront them. This D******ag, obviously wants to belittle women with lewd words and actions. Perhaps, instead of knocking him out, you could turn immediately look him in the eye and say 'Nope." or "not likely" abruptly. Or how about "not unless you want some Pepper with that!" while reaching into your purse. Any way you can blow up his spot and show him it doesn't bother you will make you look like a strong lady he doesn't want to mess with. Again most of these men don't really have the confidence to properly and politely approach a woman.

I think we should all carry pepper spray when out.