Transition at work

[Angela Campbell]

After reading the many posts on the thread of how to make a successful transition I also have talked to my therapist about this. I see one of the major concerns I have is my employment status. I have a good job, make good money and really like what I do. It is a largely male dominated field though.

My question is how have some of you handled this with your employer. How do you find out if they have a gender policy without raising suspicion? I have tried searching on line and found nothing, and this is a very large company that seems to have a policy on everything.

Another twist. In the case I find out the company would not be ok with transition what have some done? Do they slowly transition then look for another job as a woman? Would you need to get the legal stuff changed first (name change, gender change on birth cert, dl) ?

[STACY B]

PM One of us an let us find out for you ,, We could call an act like we work there an get all the info for you ,, Just find someone who don't care an you can trust . Give them the number to HR an let them do the work an report back to you .

[Angela Campbell]

That actually sounds like a good idea especially if the phone call comes from an area I do not live in.

[STACY B]

Check,,, Check,,,, CHECK MATE !!! Pretty friggen Good HUH !!! Ohhhhhhh Yea ,,,, I am not a Dummy ,, I just play one here ,,lol,,,,

[Jodi Anne]

Good idea Stacy, Ellen you will have some time before the changes are noticeable, and that time you could use for planning, I do not have a lot of room to talk I had no plan at first, just knew it had to be done and let the cards fall as they may.

[Angela Campbell]

Thank you Jodi, My therapist wants me to make a plan although he says I will never be able to go strictly by it. He says it is good for someone with my personality to look at as many different parts of this as I can and make a plan and then change it as needed. I have a long way to go I know but now is the time to start. (I started electrolysis today) He is a specialist on transitions and is going to guide me all the way. Legal, medical, how to deal with family and likely a lot more I cannot even imagine right now.

Paramount is keeping a good income because what I want to do will not be cheap.

And Stacy...I grew up with people like you. Rednecks just want everyone to think they are crazy. I know I was born one in GA. You on the other hand may be crazy but that is cool to me. I guess no same person would do this.

[Josie06]

My question is how have some of you handled this with your employer. How do you find out if they have a gender policy without raising suspicion? I have tried searching on line and found nothing, and this is a very large company that seems to have a policy on everything.

Another twist. In the case I find out the company would not be ok with transition what have some done? Do they slowly transition then look for another job as a woman? Would you need to get the legal stuff changed first (name change, gender change on birth cert, dl) ?


I understand. My career field is the same. Transition at my job would be very bad. It would have to be somewhere else and the cut in pay for the 'glass ceiling' would be bad too. I think it would be necessary to change careers and then find a company "friendly" to transitioning there.

Good luck.

[Angela Campbell]

That could be Josie. The question is, what about the time when you are in the middle. Not many will hire a half and half, but can I hang on to the job I have until I can get to the point where I have a name change and gender changed legally. I mean it will likely take me a few years just for hair removal.

[Nicole Erin]

If you are going to be doing drag at work, it does help to have a new name first.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, I think Stacy had a great idea for a starting point.

[Angela Campbell]

Yes it is. Not that it is an immediate concern, but eventually I will need to make some decisions there.

[Josie06]

That could be Josie. The question is, what about the time when you are in the middle. Not many will hire a half and half, but can I hang on to the job I have until I can get to the point where I have a name change and gender changed legally. I mean it will likely take me a few years just for hair removal.


True. I think maybe that there is no 'middle'. We are who we are, imperfections, blemishes and all. Those imperfections can be physical and cosmetic or legal and medical ... all can be overcome with time and persistence and a positive frame of mind. Believe in yourself even when a hurdle is placed in front of you.

You are who you are and it can take years to transition with all the things we do up to and including SRS or GRS (depending on who is naming it) or as I see it ... gender affirming surgery. To be sure all our efforts are important to become who we know we are. But then acceptance of who we are and our sense of who we are translates outwardly to others. If we become self-conscious then others will see that hesitancy within ourselves and respond in a like sense.

A 'half-and-half' makes us sound like we don't belong in any world. i belong here! My mind, my heart, my spirit and soul knows I am a woman in this world. It is a long hard journey and has different windings and turns for each traveler ... and some heartbreaks to be sure. However, I think, half the battle (if not more) is the battle we wage within ourselves and not the hurdles others setup for us to overcome. If it was an overnight or an immediate fix ... would it be worth it?

For me know as those battles are what has made me 'more' me. I know at one time in my life, years ago, I was at my wits end as well as the end of my 'tether'. I almost ended it all but something, and I can't explain exactly what (my epiphany), showed me the battles would play themselves out in their time as my journey progressed. I just need to accept me as me and have faith in who I was.

I know, not words of wisdom ... but as ready everyday to face the world as we will ever be. Almostalady, you sure look like a Lady in your picture. Carry yourself as one and be the Lady, the woman you are. I will admit as I get older I feel less beautiful, less 'acceptable' as I once felt myself to be. However we as humans (GG's and men too) we don't seem to have the 'age-well' gene. Well not all of us anyway.

So, it's up to us to be the best we can be each and every day ... with all the imperfections we see in ourselves.

Be safe, be happy and be yourself. Josie

[DanaM64]

Hi Ellen,

It's good your looking into it now... The area I found my company's policy on it was under Bullying, and to my surprise it listed transgender / orientation in the 1st line of text. So as confident I am that I'll have a job once I get to the stage of informing them, I am also concerned there will be loopholes for them to let me go. I do a lot of traveling in my position which includes the Middle East which might not be in my best interest to be in... besides it might get a little difficult climbing towers and crawling under the floor (cabling) in a mini! ;)

One option if your company doesn't have a policy is to search for one that does and make the career move as soon as possible. As we know it's a long process before everything is complete, so you would have a chance to establish yourself as an asset instead of a hindrance if trying to get in at the 50/50 stage. Just so I don't get attacked by a few for using the word hindrance... it's covering a few areas such as distraction, days off for recovery and possibly just having a bad hair day...

Good luck with your search for answers and/or career search!

[Asp]

I'm not sure, but I think it would be considered discrimination, as like creed, religion, disability, etc.

[Angela Campbell]

A 'half-and-half' makes us sound like we don't belong in any world.

I did not mean anything offensive when I said that. I was thinking about when the time comes when I can no longer hide the effect of hormones and still do not completely look like a woman. And I am glad you belong in the world. Not so sure about me yet.



And Asp....Yes it would be discrimination but at this time there are no laws against it and even if there were a very large worldwide corporation will have more money for lawyers than an ex employee of theirs will have to fight it out. Discrimination exists and is rampant. If someone above does not like you then they will get rid of you. I would prefer to have as much control over this as possible.

Now my company does have quite a bit of policies on discrimination. None seem to even mention gender variance or a transition.

And Josie....Thank you for the lovely compliment. It means a lot to me.