A middle name. FINALLY!!! Which leads to a new question.

[SuzanneBender]

I am still a while off from contacting the Illinois departmentof Vital Statistics and filling out the form to have my name and gender changed on my birth certificate, but at least I am 2/3rds of the way to selecting the name that will represent me permanently for the second half of my life.

There are many posts in several of the forums about names and why we selected them. The underlying theme is we are uniquely blessed with the option of choosing the few words that represent us in all aspects of our lives. I found choosing my name to be fitful choice not unlike my journey toward the authentic me. Just like my journey, I find clarity when searching my soul rather than my mind. Also like my journey, what logically should be a simple quick choice often takes much longer than expected.

When I first started exploring my gender I selected a trite, flirty, silly name which, as I matured in my womanhood, I realized did not representthe real me. I agonized over what I should replace it with because I did not want to be one of those ladies who constantly change their name.

My first name came to me a few years back with a manner of serendipity. I was listening to one of my favorite songs, James Taylor’s fire and ice, when the lyrics “Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you” leapt out. I listened to that song nearly a hundred times in my life and this was the first time those words registered with me. The plans they made for me had put an end to the person that I longed to be for most of my memorable life. I had love, success, and a storybook life. It was everything that had been planned forme and everything one could ask for. Yet something distanced me from the grace all those gifts should bring. Suzanne was the name I selected to acknowledge that fact.

The search for a middle name took much longer. I considered Grace which was my grandmother’s name and also describes that which I search for in my life, but I hope that one day it is a name that one of my grandchildren bear so I decided to reserve it for her.

Once again my middle name felt like absolute destiny once it came tome. I spent the past couple of months engrossed with 16th century England after spending several nights with my kitties, a cozy blanket and a big bowl of popcorn watching the Tudors. Both sides of my family are British and perhapsthat is why I am such an Anglophile. For some reason out of all they characters of that age I became enamoured with Elizabeth I.

Elizabeth was a young lady born to a destiny, torn away from it and then restored to the place she was born to occupy. It took her many years to become a master ofher own life, but once she did she reported to no master other than God. She became a beacon of light ushering in a new age that emphasized tolerance over the divisiveness which marked her time.

Time for a interesting and debatable historical aside. Henry the VIII had Elizabeth removed from court when he had her mommy's head chopped off, but he desired for her to still live the good life and placed her in one of his properties with care takers. There are wacky theories that the orginal Elizabeth passed away of the plague and the care takers that valued the connection of their heads to their necks quickly replaced her with a young man bearing a resemblance to her. That is why she wore such heavy makeup as she aged, always wore wigs, and never married. How cool would it be if the ruler of the Golder Age of England was trans! How many of us would dream of being in her position? Now back to our program.

I certainly don’t consider myself a beacon of light ushering in a new age for the world. It would be cool and all kinds of groovy for history books in the next few hundred years to call the next 40-50 years the Suzannian age, but barring my discovery of the cure for the common cold or capturing Big Foot I doubt that is ever going to happen. Nonetheless, as I move toward transition Elizabeth is the name I chose to represent becoming the mistress of my own life and casting off the dictates of the past in order to move forward.

So there you have it, a long self-engrossed post which servesas 2/3rds of my official name change until circumstances allow me to make it mylegal name. Now it is time to start wrestling with my last name. To paraphrase the famous song by the clash, “should it stay or should it go?” What do you think? Did you change your last name or keep it and why?

[Badtranny]

I was planning to change my last name to Hobbes, but my dad asked me to keep my last name, so I did. Hobbes became my middle name.

[STACY B]

Believe it or not choosing a Name is Harder than most people think it would be ,, For many reasons ,, You have to want to hear it an need to hear it when your called an lots of folks think its not that big a deal till you HAVE to choose . I kinda want something close to my other name . That way It will make a little easier in the transition stage ,, Like the middle road period . I think after that its a little easier .

[mary something]

Suzanne Elizabeth has a nice sound to it, love how you were able to find a name that had such personal meaning to it! I still haven't picked out a middle name but I suppose that will come with time, "something" will work for now ;)

[Rogina B]

Why don't you use your real last name as long as it sounds nice with the first two made up ones.?.lol

[Ann Louise]

I am of largely English decent (those Nords were big on sneaking across the Channel in the old days), and my great-grandmother who was born there was named "Ann." I have a beautiful old portrait photo of her taken around 1895, and she is so peaceful looking and beautiful. I always think of her through that photo. My grandfather, who I loved dearly (Ann was his mother), was named "Louis," so I added an "e" to that and voila, "Louise." Although I'm keeping my last private here, it is a very nice English name that I'm very proud of, and fits nicely with the others, too.

[LeaP]

Middle names are something that occupy my musings at times. I have lists of them in the back of my work notebook. I thought of keeping the one I have - I used it as part of my name here for a while - but really like Anaïs.

[Michelle.M]

Why don't you use your real last name as long as it sounds nice with the first two made up ones.?.lol

Well, as Melissa has noted, last name changes often come into play for a variety of reasons.

In my case I changed mine to make a break with my past, but also my name is a variation of that of a girl I knew in high school who inspired me. Her last name was alphabetically right before mine so we were always next to each other in lines and seating arrangements, and over the years it became second nature for me to look up when her name was called. It seemed to be a natural fit, and my family has not expressed any issue with my change of surname.

Ironically, even though I did not keep my old last name both of my ex-wives did!


Middle names are something that occupy my musings at times.

When I did my name change I was not going to have a middle name at all. My old initials spelled out a word (not an offensive word, just a word) and all my life people would lamely note that as if it were amusing. Maybe it was, but I just got so sick of hearing it and came to loathe having a middle name.

My attorney encouraged me to pick one anyway, pointing out that if I didn't I'd spend the rest of my life explaining why I had no middle name. That's even worse than having initials that spell a word!

So I did some research and discovered that middle names in America began as a fad among expectant parents in colonial times. The fad caught on (John Quincy Adams was the first president to have one) and was very common by the civil war. The Army enlistment form for World War I was the first government form to have a space for a middle name, because by that time we pretty much all had one.

So, I figured that if I were going to have a middle name that I wasn't really going to use for anything much I'd pick one that was pretty, memorable and a little bit exotic. And since I have a French first name I picked a French middle name. It's Geneviève (and yes, my legal name change order has the accent on the "e").

[Angela Campbell]

This has really got me thinking. Thank you. I know many people out there know me as Ellen but I am really not sure it fits me. I just wonder how hard it would be to start going by another name? Eventually I will legally change it so I need to pick one and start getting used to it I guess.

[Stephanie-L]

My first name was easy, simply a feminization of my male name. Some of my family did have a problem because one of my step-daughters has the same name, but I have thought of myself as Stephanie since well before she came into the picture. The middle name was a bit more difficult. My middle name has been in my family for at least 6 generations, from my great grandfather to my grandson, so changing it would be something like disowning my family. I decided to keep it as is, and then noted that my lawyer, Phyllis Randolph Frye, kept her middle name when she transitioned. Since the middle name is rarely used except on official forms and such, it is not really a big deal. I never considered changing my last name, though I did use a different one a few times when I was deep in the closet. So, all my name change really turned out to be was adding two letters and rearranging a few..........Stephanie

[Michelle.M]

I was thinking of that as well. I think Phyliis told me that her middle name was her old surname and she kept it to maintain a family tie.

[kimdl93]

I haven't had to change a thing...I was named Kimberly at birth and my middle name is gender ambiguous...and I'd never give up my family name!

[groove67]

I choose the name marianne as i knew a lady whom was her name and she inspired me though much of my transation and when i told her that i was going to change my name to hers she was very proud. I left my middle name same as it was my dad's and last name will stay the same unless down the road i where to marry. I am sure each of us uses a new first name as in my case off a woman we admired or inspired us .

[KellyJameson]

I was named Kelly at birth because it is my mothers maiden name so changing it would lose that connection to her side of the family plus I hate paper work and court proceedings. My middle name is also gender non specific but I understand the appeal of choosing your own name.

I like classical names like Elizabeth and my first name does not reflect my own tastes.

Maybe someday when I'm in the eye of the hurricane and all is quiet I will change my middle name to something that is more in line with my own sense of self.

Something from latin to reflect the other half of my ethnicity and not just the English side.