Honest opinions..

[8086sophie]

Just wondered if anyone else has a similar experience...

When I first got interested in womens clothing it was all about the frilly underwear. I would buy knickers, bras, tights and sometimes body's. I loved the way they felt and would wear them to work under my clothes, or take them to work and get changed into them there. I loved suspender belts especially.

But no matter how hard I tried to "keep things civilised", at the end of the day, I would always end up masturbating in them and have to throw them all away and feel like I'd "failed". You know, it felt good whilst I was doing it, but as soon as I'd finished I kind of knew I'd ley myself down. It should have been about more than that.

More recently I've tried to take things more "seriously", wearing the underwear and clothing without any kind of sexual arousal - treating it as a natural thing. And it feels nicer to be serious about it, if you know what I mean - nicer to just wear things without that need to masturbate.

So I wondered - do you lot see both sides of it. The thrill of it - versus the underlying need to wear feminine things? Does it depend on whether you got into it "via" underwear, or "via" outer clothing? Is it even a sexual thing for lots of you?

[Maria S]

As time goes on you can get a satisfactory mix of both dressing to dress and dressing to arouse. I have never felt the need to wear female underwear under my boy clothes. I have like a split personality and rarely do the two cross over. I have tried just dressing to dress but the sexual side still likes to put in an appearance.

Maria

[stephNE]

Women's clothing has no sexual connections for me. It doesn't cause any arousal, in fact it is the opposite, a feeling of relaxation and calmness.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am curious... why do you feel it is necessary to "keep it civilized"? If you are not doing anything inappropriate in front of (or to) others, why the guilt about it?

[Jennifer B]

Yes definitely. You're not alone there. My crossdressing started as a sexual fetish and I only dressed en femme for sexual gratification to start with. Because of the way I had been brought up, for a long time I regarded what I was doing with disgust and self loathing. I felt that I was a pervert and deviant. That maybe I wasn't a real man and was warped in some way. But the arousal caused by the dressing was undeniable. Overtime I've realised that all those self doubts and institutionally ingrained loathing were wrong. Over time I've found that dressing en femme gives me a sense of relaxation and inner peace. It lets out the feminine side and releases me from being "homomanus" so to speak. It's become really quite special for me and mentally rewarding. But there is no denying that it started as a sexual thing and I had many years of self loathing and doubt to go through at a time when forums like this just weren't available on the Internet to help me realise that I wasn't a freak and that I had started in life with a very blinkered and biased mind set. I'm sure that you are far more adjusted and sensible than I was, but you should know that in terms of the origins of dressing that you talk about, I know where you are coming from completely.

[Renee_E]

I agree wholly with Jennifer B! I started in my teens and anything would get me aroused. I always felt like a pervert if I acted on my arousal. Later I felt guilty about liking womens cloths which lead to many purges until I accepted I am just me. Now I enjoy the clothes with no guilt and arousal is optional.

[Tess]

Same here. It took a very long time but dressing has become far less about arousal than it is about doing something that brightens my day.

[Maria in heels]

Sophie...I see both sides of it. I have always and probably will forever, as there is always a thrill associated with it, and also a need just to be Maria and let her out of the closet ... You are very normal if you ask me

[Erica Marie]

To be all honest, in my early teen years my dressing started mostly the same way. Lingerie and undies leading to self satisfaction. But over the last 20 years many things changed and my feelings also changed. I now realize female feelings is who I am not what turns me on.

[Wildaboutheels]

Pavlov's dogs is the simple answer to your question for MANY of the ladies here [IMO] but certainly not all of them. My opinion is based on READING thousands of responses to questions very similar to yours in the past year. I have no reason to believe that THAT MANY ladies would lie? What purpose would it serve?

The FACTS are simple and UNDENIABLE. Most all members here [at least for "some" time period] used women's clothing to "get to the promised land". Most say it tapered off with age. NOT TRUE for everyone.

Silly to feel dirty or guilty about it. It's no different than porn or magazines. Our brains obviously do not care.

Hundreds of thousands of CDs [probably many more] can't be wrong.

EVOLUTION made men this way. Feeling guilty or ashamed for being born a male is just plain crazy.

The ONLY thing to keep in mind [despite what many here will tell you] is the reasons you CD don't matter and that there is no right or wrong way to do it.

[Tracii G]

Never had a sexual sensation wearing womens undies or other clothes for that matter.

[NEWEXPERIENCES76]

Wildaboutheels makes some great points and you can almost use them as affirmations. Everybody says it, but it is true that life is too short. My first experience was definitely derived from sexual arousal as I wore my neighbor's nylons, leather skirt and silk blouse while I was supposed to be watching their house because she and her family were away for the week, when I was a teenager. And I was completely aroused by those feelings of wearing those clothes. I have not done a whole lot of dressing since then, but I am finally working up the courage to try to dress again. I remember that it felt so great and so feminine. This forum is helping me to see that not everyone is closed minded and judgmental. My hopeful future dressing might be due to my past sexual arousal, as you say, but in the end who cares. If it makes me happy and lets me live life fuller, then great. It could very well evolve into something more "purely unsexual" at some point, but in the meantime if my underlying sexual arousal was some sort of catalyst, then so be it, and who is anyone to judge.

[ErinP]

Yep, as is said multiple times here, it starts that way for most of us. For the past twenty years or so, it's not the clothes that "get me going". Dressing or wearing them just make me feel "normal". What ever "normal" is. Honestly, I only get the urge to do that when forced into longer periods of guy mode. And boys will be boys I guess.

[Juliea661]

Hi Sophie, yes, very similar for me in my earlier years. But now, while there is a sexual side for me while dressed, i experience it as a woman. When i dress now it is almost always completely with makeup, jewlery, etc - and this old bag of bones transforms into jules, with all the sexual desires of a young college girl (when dressed I see myself and feel way way way younger than I am). Now of course I'm happily married, heteralsexual, with a good love live, so Jules just fantisizes about men. But the sexual experience i feel is a complete woman, where as when i was younger the dressing was just an arousel towards a sexual satisfaction experience as a guy. Strange, huh? Maybe it has to do with changing hormones, or maybe it has to do with a softer more love acceptance of the whole me, which has lead to an evolution of a more complete Jules...
hugs, Jules

[Maria 60]

Also for myself it was more sexual for me when I was younger, but even now when I dress a few days in a row the second day isn't as sexual and more relaxing but when I don't dress for a week or so when I feel the pantyhose or the silky feeling of a dress I do get aroused and 90 percent of the time it does eat in masturbation.

[Rabecca]

Ya, Very normal things hear. When I dress I feel so sexy it's hard not to take maters in to my own hands. I would think it also has some thing to do with the short times I have to stay dressed.

[Ressie]

Why do you feel that CDing needs to develop into something besides sexual pleasure? Why do you feel it's important to take it more seriously? I've had guilt about the sexual pleasure, but I've accepted this aspect isn't going away.

[Karren H]

Since I started dressing before I even knew what sex was..... its never really been a part of my dressing.....

[Chiana]

Since my first dressing attempts were when I was only 4 or 5 years old, there was no sexual element involved. Of course, during my teen years almost anything would get me aroused. But as I got older, dressing and sexual arousal were not linked.

[deebra]

Wear it for enjoyment or masterbate in it if the urge arises but don't throw it away, just wash it and it's nice and clean for the next time. Don't feel guilty about wearing it, most people wear underwear so why not lingerie, it's your personal choice just like choosing food from a menu.

[NicoleScott]

Sophie, you will read a lot of posts that say it started out sexual but over time the sexual aspect declined. That's true for some, but you shouldn't take that to mean that if it doesn't happen that way for you, you must be doing it wrong.
As Wild said, there's no right or wrong way to crossdress (but the longer you're here, the more you will hear people say it but not really believe it).
And as Dee said, it may be only sexual pleasure. No need to feel guilty about it.

[Josie06]

Tough question sophie, really. We're all different.

These clothes are after all just my clothes. No sexual excitement from wearing them. Just an overall feeling of calmness for me ... like stephNE. It's just natural for me. They are just a part of who I am. Nylons, bras & panties, heels, dresses, skirts & blouses, jeans & slacks ... just a part of me. The outward part of me.

Wearing them is just the outward expression of who I am, a woman. I shop in the Women's Department of stores and though I can't wear dresses, nylons and heels to work ... I still wear my clothes. Slacks, panties & bra, blouse with knee high dress socks and flats. Nothing over the top. "Hiding in plain sight" really as coming out at work would be disastrous in oh so many ways. I save my nylons, heels and dresses for around the house and dates.

Nothing sexual for me wearing any item of feminine clothing ever. Not when I was young or now. Sexual arousal was/is caused by the man I'm with.

That said, everybody is different. We are not all the same. Some people change with time, some don't. It takes all kind to make the world. I think you have realized something and you are learning something more about yourself. This is good and all of us experience it. We shouldn't beat ourselves up or feel guilty ... we need to accept ourselves and learn who we are. Right and wrong are within our internal compass. Be yourself, learn about yourself.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is a rite of passage for the majority reading this.
It happened to me in a similar way.

[8086sophie]

Thanks people - all good opinions to hear.

ps. Apologies for "too much information" in the original post. I just kind of blurted it out :)