Silent greetings

[celeste26]

You meet someone walking down the hallway and there is absolutely no reason to say anything and yet there is a "silent greeting" anyway.

Do you look into their eyes and smile?
Do you avoid looking into the eyes?
Do you scan the other person's appearance but look down as you approach?
Do you look as though you are a hunter checking out the prey?
Do you look like a deer caught in a car's headlights?

All of this non-verbal communication tells people about you and the others will assess what to think based upon how you make this communication. There are in fact feminine ways to do this and passing requires you to know them. So smile girls.

[kimdl93]

Generally, I'll look their way and if we make eye contact, I'll give them a smile.

[Chari]

In a straight posture, head held high, if the person does not look threatening, give them a slight nod of your head, and a small smile, but continue on at your same pace. You have places to go and things to do!

[Rianna Humble]

Where I live, women do not nod to one another very often, but we do smile a lot.

[KellyJameson]

It would depend on the person and the environment. If it is a male or female, what age they are, where it is at, if they are complete strangers or someone I have seen before.

It is that almost instantaneous evaluation that you allow your unconscious to make that guides your behavior.

A smile could be mistaken for a sexual invite when none is intended or I could be in a hurry and not want to stop and talk but also not want to appear rude.

I do not do anything automatically but let the context of the moment shape my response to it.

The social landscape is extremely complex to navigate, particularly for those on the T spectrum and women in general.

All the nuances of social interaction can invite or create a situation you may not want.

I'm a chamelon or shape shifter where I change according to the person as a way to manage the moment.

It is instinctive and very fluid but I do not pretend feelings I do not feel, so it is genuine.

My way of making it through a day shared with others.

[ArleneRaquel]

I smile and nod a great deal of the time. A ladys smile is priceless.

[AllieSF]

Where I live, women do not nod to one another very often, but we do smile a lot.

I see that in my life too here in California and elsewhere. Men tend to nod at each other when we acknowledge the other's presence because of direct eye contact, while women tend to smile. I am always looking at people and have learned to nod less and smile more when catching someone's eyes, including men. That simple smile repeated over time at the coffee shop waiting in line for my turn has eventually led to many nice conversations and wonderful people to talk with when both of us have time.

[DaniG]

The warm smile is one of the things I love most about female culture. The warm smile feels very genuine. The head nod just isn't the same. It feels almost obligatory, not sincere. Just my read. I love getting the smile.

[Marleena]

This is a good thread Celeste. I'm guilty of not smiling. I posted about a trip to Vegas last year. I was waiting outside our hotel for my wife to pick me up. A lady approached me with a smile. As she got withing 5 or 6 feet she read me and her expression changed to an ohh! She proceeded to check me out and probably felt uncomfortable. I could have diffused the situation by smiling, so lesson learned.

[Rachelakld]

I look into their eyes and smile.
If their in the same elevator, then I tend to start a conversation while they are stuck with me - I inherited that genetic trait from my dad - not my fault :)

[AKKaren]

Hmmmm.... I usually look people in the eye and smile. Always have enjoyed the return smiles!

[celeste26]

Smiles between women are the best way to letting the other ladies know we are one of them. Smiles from women to men is quite another thing. It can trigger a hunter-prey response almost like drawing a target on yourself and waiting for the "come on." Setting you up to be his next conquest.

[mikiSJ]

I went out dressed in the daytime for the first time Monday and as I was leaving the building I happened to pass a woman heading in the other direction. I was a bit to anxious to smile and I think she was a bit perplexed by the sight of Miki to smile, also.

[noeleena]

Hi,

What about the ...talking ...oh heck how sad, yes well you know what i do so no takers on that.

Our Village of about 3,500. i think i know to many & many more know me, so why was it sometimes would take me two hours to walk from home to the shops & back. i wonder, was i that slow, or maybe i talk to much. you quess, its not even 1 / 2 a mile,

I smile to most people wether i know them or not & i say hi as well to most, unless i know they just dont wont to smile or talk.

Being in front of many of those people does give you an advantage to talk even many i dont know i wellcome them to our Village, we wont people to come back so am i doing the P R with people from other center's i hope so. will they remember me. oh heck . well it seems so. even if its only ( the person thats different )? ...

You know when i think about this , & ( thats not good ) .why do i do this im the most unlikely one who should, theres others who can do it far better than i & look normal yet im the one who was allways smileing from very young, so ill put it down to being weird, oh well thats me,

...noeleena...

[celeste26]

Noeleena should run for mayor, she obviously cares a lot for her town and everyone already knows her. She would not even the the first tg mayor http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stu_Rasmussen

[Sandra1746]

And I get plenty of smiles in response. I also get a not-infrequent hello. That's as far as it goes and nobody has said anything negative about my plain-femme appearance. However once a sales clerk complimented me on my pale-pink nail polish. A nice surprise, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Just being myself,
Sandra1746

[Kaitlyn Michele]

One time i was giving a talk to a group of premed students..

I was the "TS" in an LGBT medical rights session in one of the classes...about 100 students...

during the talk i was talking about acceptance as a human being, how i had gone to great lengths to be accepted as female...that i risked so much for the simple idea that i was a woman...

i happened to make eye contact with one of the girls in the middle of the pack and she smiled back and very subtly nodded to me...it was an amazing feeling because it was her reaching out to me and saying hello and i know who and what you are...it was really powerful and it motivated me to do more speeches and panels..

[stefan37]

I find woman more inviting than men. I smile a lot when I see people and it is usually returned back. I get more acknowledgement and conversations by smiling than not. So I make a conscious effort to smile at people I pass by. I can relate to your story Kaitlyn. When I talk in public I smile a lot and try to find a friendly face and then it puts me at ease. When I feel uneasy I go back to the person that is smiling and it makes it easier to continue.

[Marleena]

i happened to make eye contact with one of the girls in the middle of the pack and she smiled back and very subtly nodded to me...it was an amazing feeling because it was her reaching out to me and saying hello and i know who and what you are...it was really powerful and it motivated me to do more speeches and panels..


Great story Kaitlyn! This is what makes it worthwhile what a wonderful moment.

[Beverley Sims]

I have smiled at women with the silent greeting even in male mode.
I do it all the time.
Occasionally I smile at men.... In male mode...OOPs!

Never any trouble with women in either mode, in fact it sometimes elicits a conversation or inquiry about directions, usually about nothing and always pleasant.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I've started smiling a lot more, particularly at GGs while in male mode. And I almost invariably get a smile in return.

What puzzles me is why I am getting so many girl initiated smiles (while I'm in male mode). I can't figure out why. Maybe it's because I look them in the eyes (not lower, if you catch my drift). Maybe they think I'm just a nice "old man", and too old to be a hunter. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of girl is oozing out.

I wish I knew about this when I was in my 20's an single. The smile is much nicer that a cold stare.

[Julie Gaum]

Steffi, that's a good observation that I haven't seen mentioned before and I have wondered about it. Very frequently in the last 6 months
while my silver hair is now down over my ears and collar and looking probably 20 years younger than my 88, I'm getting many more gals at all ages smiling at me when passing by. In the past not nearly as much so I wonder why. Feeling empathy for an old man --- no cane or walker yet---or what? And I do smile back but don't wink --- darn.
Julie
PS Should mention in drab