Never going out again!

[Emily Howard]

Hi there,

My name is Emily and I am new to the forums. I have been crossdressing since I was 14 when I started wearing my mothers silk underwear. I felt so good when dressed up and it went from there. I ended up with everything a lady needs. I bought myself bras, knickers, make up, wigs and a few other things too. I always did this in private but yesterday evening I decided to go and do my weekly shopping as "Emily". I did get some funny looks when I entered the supermarket, but I fought my fear with everything inside me and just glided along the store looking for stuff to pop in my basket. I started to calm down and even asked an assistant to help me with picking out some lipstick. It felt so natural and so right and I was delighted inside.

I finished my shopping and arrived at the counter and I could feel people laughing and reading me. I ignored them and got myself checked out and then left the store. Little did I know that the worst was yet to come. I was about to leave the store grounds when three teenagers approached me. They were clearly around 17/18 years old and had a devious look on their faces. They began surrounding me and calling me all sorts of names. I was fit to throw myself on the ground and burst out crying. Then they grabbed my shopping and threw it around the place. I began screaming for help when the chubby one ripped my wig clean off my head. They kept on taunting me and laughing and I tried to run away. One of the managers from the store came running out and they fled the store grounds. The manager was very kind to me and even picked up my shopping and put it back in my bag for me. I told him I was fine but he insisted on getting me a cab and even gave me a cup of tea in his office while I waited. I will be forever greatful to that man. He knew I was a crossdresser and he never thought twice about it and helped me anyway. As for those teenagers. I hope they realise that they have caused great upset to someone who did nothing at all to them.

[Stelli]

At the end of the day I hope that you did not have any greater damage than being embarrased. I meant I hope that you did not get any serious injuries. Of course this is bad experience and emotionally stressful. I think every girl have been assaulted at some point. It leaves emotional scars. You can possibly identify teenagers that have attacked you. And you may seek legal advise. See to be accompanied if you go out again. But hold up. It is bad experience but also you have learned that there are kind people too (apart from being afraid of your legal actions towards them - which could be unethical at least but possible). Most of our fears of going out is based on possibility of this experience. I am deeply sorry that it has happened to you. Feel free to talk about this if that makes you greater comfort. Many here will support you with the full heart.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

You may not believe this, but I think there are more people out there like that nice manager than those hoodlums.

And you were brave to do what you did. There are crossdressers who never go out in public. So give yourself a pat on the back.

You've been through a traumatic experience but don't let it get you down on yourself. And give yourself another pat on the back for posting this.

Take care;

Veronica

[Sally2]

Emily,
Sorry to hear that your venture out turned into a disaster. There are mean spirited people out there and unfortunately they have no regrets or conscience about their actions towards you. In fact they are probably bragging about how they taunted you. I hope that your title about never going out again isn't true. Yes, what you experienced was dreadful but maybe you stood out too much by how you were dressed. Did you over dress for a super market trip? Personally, I don't mall shop because I love to dress up completely with make up and heels. This is definitely not shopping attire. I also make sure that where I'm going doesn't jepordize my safety. I also go out with companions. Again, safety in numbers. Is there any support groups in your area where you can go and meet other CDs like yourself? The meeting areas are usually quite safe. I have a group of friends and we go out to restaurants that know we are crossdressers and actually welcome our business. Please don't retreat back into the closet. You were brave enough to venture out but you have to pick your spots very carefully. I hope you better luck in the future. Sally2

[Kimberly]

Hunny, you were more brave than I have been yet!

Good on ya! ... Those teens, (my age, actually,) probably have nothing to do and saw it as a bit of a laugh - I bet they haven't even thought twice about it since. It was just a kick for them, for 5 minutes until help arrived.

Don't worry about them. My advice: find some friends you can confide in about this, if you haven't already, so you have protection when going out next time! ;) Safety in numbers!! xx

[TGMarla]

Hey, blow it off....eventually. They were young and stupid. Don't let others' ignorance effect you in a negative way. Someday they'll grow up, marry, have kids, and likely beat their wives and drink too much while cashing their unemployment checks.

On the other hand, perhaps you could be just a bit more discreet while out shopping. You went a little hog-wild (as is your right to do). But it does draw attention to you. Keep your head up!

[Julia Cross]

In stead of proclaiming that you are never going out dressed again because of the 3 idiots who accousted you, why not look at it from the other perspective. The manager was extremely gracious, he helped you, gave you a cup of tea and insisted on calling you a cab. In my opinion, that is more than enough of reason to realize that most are accepting of our differences and have no problem with us dressing as we feel. If we avoided doing everything we wanted to because of a negative experience, pretty soon we would all be trapped in our homes.

Julia

[Shelly Preston]

Dear Emily

I hope you do get over the nerves and go out again

As for the manager send him an email thanking for his concern

Its that kind of support we all need

[sue_donim]

You had a bad experiance with these youths, but there was also some positive things happen as well. Think more about the positives and get out there again soon.
You have a lot of new experiences just waiting for you but you have to embrace them otherwise you'll just end up making yourself into a prisoner with these youths as your gaurds.

Sue_donim :)

[BrendaChristine]

Stupid is as stupid does. Don't let 3 mooks discourage you.

[Angela Burke]

Emily Howard!,
What a disrespectful way to treat a laayyydeee.
Emily Howard!

Love Angela XX

[Sam-antha]

Emily
I do believe that you have been so brave to get out like that, so courageous in fact that you will be going out again. Make it in the near future or else I think that it is likely that you will have magnified your experience fears and they will be too great. You must not give yourself time to think of what happened. It was a great going out, wasn't it ? The preparation and the stepping out your door. Things that must not be forgotten or spoilt. Go out agin before you become an anxiety bundle.
When you go, just have a wander around. Do not go overboard. Just a drive and a wee walk around the block. No high heels, no hat, maybe a headscarf and please no dark glasses. Just be what you really want to be. When you next go shopping purchase only a couple of things, do not linger too long in one place until you really have confidence.
Remember the manager, and I think you can probably include the cab driver too. They are people, not the yobs that assaulted you.

Good dressing and good going out from me, Samantha, old and established, and probably best wishes from everyone else.

[susandrea]

If this post is authentic, I hope you filed a police report. I would be very surprised if a manager of a store didn't do that to protect the store's chances of litigation later. Or maybe he did and you didn't mention it.

I'm sorry if I sound suspicious (funny, I was suspected when I first came here myself) but you are new and your story is a very extreme one. Your two paragraphs are so odd together they seem "created".

But giving you the benefit of a doubt:

If what you say happened is true, treat it as any any of us women treats assault-- by getting right out there again. Even women who are raped almost always move on.

It is never a victim's fault they are attacked by idiots or creeps, but they compound the attack by letting it conquer them.

If you give up, they win.

[Darlena]

Emily Dear, I just read about your excursion into the hands of those three little trolls. That unfortuately is a type of mentality that we encounter from time to time and place to place. You are a very brave girl. A soldierette on the front line. Those hellions probably would have targeted some elderly person or helpless animal had they not seen you first. Next comes stealing cars & liquor, etc. The pack mentality dictates that lone victims are best. So take a friend or two with you next time.Will you please? As for me, I'm putting a brick in my purse. I have right to go outdoors. Love+hugs+kisses,

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Emily

I'm so sorry this happened to you, I think you are very brave indeed. It's unfortunate that we have to deal with bullies, but you know, they're something that's a part of life no matter how you're dressed. I don't blame you for being upset, but I wouldn't let a bunch of punks dictate how you live your life.

When I was young I was a favorite target of bullies because of my long hair. I was always afraid, and I always ran. What I learned the hard way is there is no escape in hiding, you have to stand up for yourself. They're only interested in attacking the week because they really have no guts, and you're certainly not week Emily, or you never would have gone out in the first place.

What would I do? I'd go back to that store to do your shopping again, and I'd thank that manager again for his help. You are very brave Emily, please don't let a bunch of brats keep you from doing something that gives you pleasure.

GypsyKaren

[Angela Burke]

"Emily Howard" is a character in the sketch show "Little Britain".
"Emily" is a very unconvincing crossdresser who keeps constantly reminding those around her that she is a laaayyydeee! (her pronounciation).
The other characters in the sketches are too concerned with getting on with their own lives, and don't really care if Emily is a crossdresser or not.
I suppose it's possible there are two crossdressers called Emily Howard.
Or that a crossdresser named herself Emily Howard after the T.V. character!
If I'm wrong, sorry.
But I'm not!

Love Angela XX

[Julie]

Emily,

I'm sorry you had the bad experience you did with the teenagers but their reaction is very common for teenage boys. It's widely agreed the worst time to tell your son you CD is when he's a teenager. They just don't know how to cope with it. But I'm not supporting what those kids did in any way shape or form. :thumbsdn:

As I read your post and felt myself living your experience I felt the terror you must have felt when the kids attacked you but when I read how the store manager handled it I found myself elated. It must have been such a heart warming experience! That manager could have very easily just helped you pick up your groceries and sent you on your way but he went the extra mile and refused to leave you alone to deal with the trauma. What a treasure he is! And you never would have had the privelige of seeing what a caring person he is if you didn't have the courage to leave your home dressed. Many of us will never have an experience like that.

Please don't let this discourage you from future outings. We are making strides in being more accepted in society and if we allow the negatives to send us back into the closet and forget the positives we encountered while out we will stagnate and never be accepted.

And remember, there is a whole group of kind and loving people who care about you right here. We're here when you need us. :gh:

[christine55]

Those three punks are hurting themselves worse than you were hurt. What an awful scare. I would just repeat what everyone else has said about not going out alone and going to safe areas.
That store manager really deserves some kudos. You should write to the corporate offices of the store and thank them for hiring him. Maybe he'll get a raise.
Hugs, Christine

[Lindahexi]

Emily, your story has saddened me, it's just awful what happened to you; here we are in the 21st century and people behave like that. You did nothing wrong, I simply don't understand why people can't live and let live. Ok, I know crossdressing seems odd to those that don't understand us, but the behaviour of those louts was inexcusable. PLEASE, PLEASE, do not let this put you off, you have already proved how brave you are by going out as you did, just be a little careful until your confidence is restored.

Hugs,

Linda

[Sam-antha]

My second note, ...this one is concerned that the public, in your mind, did not tell the store person, or at the worst, a security camera to alert help for an attacked lady.

[Emily Howard]

Thank you so much for the support dears. I suppose I did over dress for a shopping trip. Perhaps my excitment of going out as a lady just got to me and I went overboard in the clothes department. I surely will not be doing that again.

Yes, there were people around me when those hoons were at me but they decided to turn their heads and look the other way. I image if I wasn't dressed as a lady then they would have jumped to my defense and told those young men to leave me alone. I'm very saddened that it wasn't the case.

I have been back to the supermarket today and I had a nice little word with the manager of the store. I made sure to thank him for all his help. He was ever so kind and told me that it was no bother at all. I must admit that he did look at me twice today tho, but that was only because I went back to the store as "Eamon".

I would like to thank all you ladies for your support. It really means a lot to me.

[jo_ann]

that's when you pull out your tazer and go "who wants to mess with my wig? huh? who feels like convulsing on the floor for several minutes?" I've never been out while femme, and I'm a pretty big guy that could probably take care of himself, but If I ever did I'd feel much more secure knowing I could threaten them.. As they say with all crimes/delinquency, they will always pick the path of least resistance (that means the person who won't fight back, or the unlocked car as aposed to the car with the alarm).

[Emily Howard]

I fully intend to go out dressed up again. I have so many dresses that I haven't even tried on yet and I want to turn heads when I walk past people.

[Denise Robinson]

something doesnt feel right here. anyone else think the same?

[TVStevie]

something doesnt feel right here. anyone else think the same?
Yes. Why would someone purporting to be a poor, oppressed CD sign up under the name of a character from a comedy show that takes the piss out of CD's? The over-frequent use of the word 'lady' also leads me think that Ms Howard is taking the piss and having a good laugh at all of our expense. I apologise if I'm wrong, but I'm just saying it how I see it.

[Sam-antha]

Yes Denise and others,
I've been thinkiong and realised that I have never seen a sales person advising me or anyone on lipstick in a supermarket. These places are lived in by shelf stackers and check-outers. Real big ones might have security.
The phrasing is too "about the event" and not enough of the "my event".
anyway I'm no lady, just a girl.

[chattaboxx]

Emily, I hope that I am wrong, but this story does sound a bit strange, i have bought lipstick etc from a supermarket (big and small) but i have never had or seen an advisor to help me chose a colour.

If this really did happen of course i do feel very sorry for you and i would agree you should get out there again, maybe just a small walk or something but if this is just a made up story I think you should maybe move to another forum

Louise

[julimac2003]

It all seems very plausable as an incident when you first read Emilys post but as others have said something does'nt feel right with the phraseology, maybe it's just female intuation or my suspicious nature, dont know?
Not being nasty but I need to be convinced before I will offer my sympathies or encouragements!!.
Julie

[BeckyCath]

Emily Howard... ummmmmmmm...

Jay Ohhh Kay Eeeeee

Sorry... Benefit of the doubt time...

ohhh how simply awful dear Emily, you are such a lady, it must have been quite ghastly... Did Andy and Lou see the incident? Where was that nice Sebastian when one needed him? Did you see Majorie Dawes and her cute, cerubic little baby George?"

Computer says NO

Rebecca

[HaleyPink2000]

I don't know what I'd a done. You did the right thing not hurting one of the children. You as it sounds did exactly what anyone should have done.

You know that Children like this only attack easy targets. Older women alone, other children alone or in younger groups. I really think I'd be on the look out for those children through the Police station etc. They will end up hurting or even killing another person. Kids don't stop till they are caught doing this. They keep on and on, even daring each other for the thrill of it. I was a child as were you. You remember school ground rules Huh? The thugs etc. The kids that take dares, and the kids that were targets. In the outside world children get older and attack easy targets, like I had said earlier. They will keep doing so, till it's not fun anymore. They get caught, grow older, start dating etc. Has it ever changed? The only thing that changes it, is by shopping with a group, or in pairs for safety. Going to Higher End Stores, with cameras and security guards on duty.

We are told some of the rules of going out when we join TriEss , and go to their meetings. Shop if possible in groups or in pairs is one of the big ones. In College towns it seems people are more excepting of us. I have been to several towns out shopping. I really try to go by the rules. But again, I really don’t know what I’d do if what happened to you did happen to me. I’d be way mad, and probably be in trouble with the Law for hurting one of the children. Once they do something like this I think the legal age you can touch one of them should change. If they are 15 and hitting and hurting adults then it’s time to hit back, I think the Law should about minor children. There are many legal issues. I hate to think of it. But you did everything correct in getting the store Manager involved.

Those Children will hang in an area of town. Go to the same stores over and over. I really bet you would find them in that area of town mostly. I tend to see the same Children in the same Malls over and over. They hang there.

It was a shame, and I hope you won’t let this stop you. You need to find another person to go shopping with really.

Hugs Sis!
Haley:)

[Lindahexi]

I really hope that this thread hasn't been a 'wind up', if it is I will feel a gullible fool for expressing my genuine and heartfelt sympathy. Perhaps I'm too naive and should in future read all such threads with suspicion, but really I don't want to do that.

Emily why don't you settle this thing one way or the other and make another post?

[Emily Howard]

I for one am clearly horrified that people think that I would make such a terrible thing up. This is not the case at all. And all because I chose "Emily Howard" as my forum name. Some people aren't comfortable with using real names on the internet. I happen to think that Emily is a real pretty name.

I am sorry if the other ladies of the forum think that I have made this up. I just hope that I recieve more of a warm welcome wherever I end up next time.

[JAYNETHOMPSON]

I happen to think that Emily is a real pretty name.
I am sorry if the other ladies of the forum think that I have made this up. I just hope that I recieve more of a warm welcome wherever I end up next time.

Its a shame you picked a name that is a UK p...s take of TV's

[Tamara Croft]

Hiya Emily

I'm sorry you have been made to feel this way, shame on you lot!!! Things happen like this daily, it can happen. Now play nice, or I'll set Wendy on you ;)