So I finally figured out what I'm feeling when I'm dressed

[PaulaQ]

You'll laugh at me - you really will - but I finally GET IT. I know what it is that motivates me to present as Paula. I realized it as I was driving to my TG support group meeting tonight. I went there tonight, fully en femme, with no satchel of male clothes to switch back into. I was committed for the evening.

And you know what? I couldn't stop smiling all evening. I was simply happy.

That's it - that's what I feel. Happiness.

Isn't it stupid that it took me THIS LONG to understand such a simple thing?

I am happy being Paula. That's the long and short of it.

[Cynthia Anne]

Life is so much better when you accept yourself for who you are! Enjoy the right!!

[TeresaCD]

Not laughing at you, simply get it - only because I have recently accepted the same fact!
Good for you, Paula.

[Angela Campbell]

I not only feel better when dressed, but lately feel better just knowing I am taking steps. Even if I do not dress I feel better knowing I have an appointment for the therapist, for the electrolysis, that I have finally got contacts. As long as I am doing something about it I actually feel pretty good.

And the contacts......oh my god! I can actually see to do my makeup now!

[Lorileah]

You have done well grasshopper....

[Jenniferathome]

Occam's razor wins again.

[mikiSJ]

Paula, I fully understand what you are saying. I came out in January and have been having a ball discovering Miki. I went to a River City Gems social earlier this month and the images of Miki one of the girls posted showed a smile Michael never has, and Miki wasn't posing.

Where the hell has she been the last 60 years???

[carhill2mn]

It is great that you "finally figured it out"! This is the feeling that a great many of us here also have.

[SarahVA]

Happy...that's it...I know I have felt "nice" and "right" but now that you put it out there, happy is the word. One of my dreams is to be a woman for a long period of time (and not just for a few hours)...that dream makes me happy! Thanks for so clearly putting it out there!

[Marleena]

Sometimes the simple answers are the most elusive.

[Claire Cook]

And you know what? I couldn't stop smiling all evening. I was simply happy.

I am happy being Paula. That's the long and short of it.

Isn't this self-realization a wonderful feeling? And you know what else? When you are in that mode, others sense it, and they smile, and you smile ... and that is happiness!

It's so good to read this after some of your previous posts!

[traci_k]

Paula, I am so glad for you that you've found some happiness! No pressure, but hwere do you go from here?
Hugs and Kisses!

[Beverley Sims]

It is wonderful when the realization comes to us.

[PaulaQ]

No pressure, but hwere do you go from here?


I expect I'll continue along a path towards becoming a full-time member of "Team Girl." I grow increasingly sure that this is what's right for me, and what I'm supposed to do, and what will finally able to like the face that
looks at me in the mirror. Perhaps I'll stop short at some intermediate point, but increasingly I doubt this.

I made a list of the things I've really felt were great about being a male:
1. Fatherhood
2. My relationship with my wife
3. Being able to pee standing up

This is a pretty short list. If I'm somehow able to remain in some type of relationship with my wife and kids, it just boils down to peeing convenience.

[jasmine57]

Happiness is as good a reason as any. Glad it came to you.

[Angela Campbell]

I made a list of what feels great about being a man too

1.
2.
3.
Oh hell that is all I can come up with right now.

[traci_k]

Ellen,
ROFLMAO! Nailed It!
Hugs

[Annaliese2010]

You'll laugh at me - you really will - but I finally GET IT. I know what it is that motivates me to present as Paula....Oh girlfriend, I'm not laughing. I get it. What motivates you to present as Paula, is that you Are her. First n foremost.

It's not the 'act of dressing' behaving, feeling, thinking, walking, talking i.e. "presenting" that's primary. The 1st force, prime directive, ultimate motivation is...You. As in YOU. Whatchu are 'on the inside'. All the outer observable things reflect that inner reality. Uncontrived. Natural. And when free of the life-long learned constraints to deny her (you)...SHE in you shines thru. IMHO i.e. predominates.

That our inner self is a mis-match (by conventionality) to our outer physiology is simply...so. Thus, we are preternatural beings, suspended somewhere between heaven & earth, by varying degrees (depending on the individual). Floating like a feather, in a beautiful world.

[Crissy Kay]

That's got to be the best reason of all to cd!! I know that as "Crissy" I feel a little better about everything. I think that I would be a lot happier if I could get away with wearing petticoats all day LOL!!

[LaLaChic]

That is a wonderful epiphany. I am happy for you.

[kimdl93]

That's as good a reason as any of us can give to why we dress. It applies to me as well.

[Jenniferathome]

I made a list of the things I've really felt were great about being a male:
1. Fatherhood
2. My relationship with my wife
3. Being able to pee standing up

This is a pretty short list.

But what a great list!

and you forgot "opening jars" and "throwing a ball" ;-)

[heatherdress]

I expect I'll continue along a path towards becoming a full-time member of "Team Girl." I grow increasingly sure that this is what's right for me, and what I'm supposed to do, and what will finally able to like the face that
looks at me in the mirror. Perhaps I'll stop short at some intermediate point, but increasingly I doubt this.

I made a list of the things I've really felt were great about being a male:
1. Fatherhood
2. My relationship with my wife
3. Being able to pee standing up

This is a pretty short list. If I'm somehow able to remain in some type of relationship with my wife and kids, it just boils down to peeing convenience.

Paula - Great that you are both happy and that you are aware of the happiness CDing brings you. I feel exactly the same way when I CD - happy. Before you jump to the other side, however, you have to realize that 2 of your male feel good list items are quite significant: fatherhood and your marriage. You may want to slow the full transformation train down to make sure you remain - happy. "Some type of relationship with your wife and kids" is more important than anything else, even peeing standing up. I am sure you will figure out what is best for you, Good luck and I am glad you are happy.

[Emjay]

Not laughing at all. Smiling maybe, because I know that feeling exactly.

Congrats on the epiphany, it's awesome to finally feel...... well......... happy! :)

[docrobbysherry]

Paula, in the long run, the questions don't matter. The answers don't matter.

What really matters is; YOU'RE HAPPY!

[PaulaQ]

and you forgot "opening jars" and "throwing a ball" ;-)

OK, I have big hands (this makes me sad), so I can open jars. I can't throw a ball though - I throw like a girl.


however, you have to realize that 2 of your male feel good list items are quite significant: fatherhood and your marriage. You may want to slow the full transformation train down to make sure you remain - happy. "Some type of relationship with your wife and kids" is more important than anything else, even peeing standing up.

I'm happy when I'm Paula - I'll be honest - I'm really miserable most of the time. What if I listed:
1. "parenthood"
2. "being a spouse"
genderless terms...

I won't have much of a relationship with either my wife or my kids if I'm dead.

If it makes y'all feel any better - just cross dressing pretty much poisoned the well with my wife.